A Chili-ng Crave

Craving is a delicate matter. Dangerous even at times. Because the need to satisfy usually comes at a hefty price. I once blew off a whole afternoon during my internship programme just to please myself with a San Francisco Steakhouse Calzone. It was bliss. But not quite the next day when I had to cover the workload of the day before. But the same thing could not be said last Thursday when I had my latest craving satisfied. It was an all familiar name. It was Chili’s.

Since my delightful introduction to Chili’s a few years ago, I have always experienced fond memories of the place every time I pay a visit. As I looked out of the window of Mom’s Spectra while waiting for the green light to flash at the Bangsar Shopping Complex crossroad, the outdoor balcony of Chili’s Grill and Bar Restaurant reminded me of an intriguing nite with Aritha when I managed to persuade her to dine out with me at 10 pm just so out of boredom. Of course, I had to pick her up from Bandar Utama and everything but it was worth it. It was quite memorable partly because later that nite, when we were about to leave, that was the first time Valerie’s left headlamp wouldn’t pop out. And for one couldn’t possibly forget embarrassing moments like that.

So when I received a second phone call from Sasa informing me the change of venue of our meeting place from The Coffee Bean to Chili’s, I just had this huge grin on my face. Somehow, I knew I was gonna dine at Chili’s. Thank God for the Pelangi history book.

With Sasa greeting me at the entrance with her usual schoolgirl-like wave, I find myself immensely attracted to this big green restaurant. Finally, when Sasa whispered the magical invitation, there was no way I was saying no.

Once inside, it was déjà vu all over again. It was close to nighttime, Sasa was seated across me and a live ATP match was on. I remembered that quite vividly as the last time Sasa had the nerve to ask me, “Lindsay Davenport tu sape?” Oh nobody darling. She’s just the top 5 female tennis player in the world.

You see, this was Sasa’s treat which just adds to the excitement. A crave satisfied and someone else is paying for it? Well, top that, will you? Another good news is that this was sort of a pre-birthday present. I never had any of those before. Ever. I never even heard of the term before but I do hope that I’ll be experiencing more of these ‘pre-birthday gifts’ thingy in the future.

I was quite full at the time and I was such a cruel time to be so on your first ever visit to Chili’s in months. I had this notion on just having dessert, which inevitably an image of the Molten Chocolate Cake springs to mind, but that would be a sin to the occasion. And for once, I was feeling less guilty towards Sasa’s purse.

When dinner was over, Sasa gave me another delightful surprise. She wants to treat me dessert. Haagen Dazs to be exact. This is quite embarrassing to admit but despite my numerous attempts, I have never had the chance to taste this allegedly heavenly brand of ice-cream. So, you can pretty much imagine my joy when I found out I’m gonna have my first ever Haagen Dazs experience. Yeay~

So, there we were, in a strangely warm Haagen Dazs side outlet, I ordered the Pleasure Platter and believe me, should the air-conditioning worked, I would’ve trembled in pleasure every time I put a spoon in my mouth. Sasa was less extravagant with her small cup of single scoop ice-cream. She was persistent to go along with her, “Aku nak diet la, Faizad” line.

All in all, I think she spent about RM50 worth of meal on me. Well, it was the nicest RM50 meal I had in a long time and I definitely think it was worth it. But, of course, this was all pre-birthday. As I keep her company while she shops for her usual amenities, which lately includes a lot of Himalaya brand of products, I looked around to find some idea on what kind of actual birthday present I would want because, to tell you the truth, I have yet to be inspired.

We passed a Macintosh store and I instinctively pointed to an IPod mini.
With a sarcastic tone, this is what she said.

“Bole la, Faizad. Nanti tu jugaklah present kau utk 7 tahun akan datang”

Okaaay. That was the not the answer I was hoping for. That would mean what? I’m gonna get my next birthday present from her when I turn 30? Well, that can’t be good.

Next we passed a store selling watches. I knew I would get a ‘no’ for an answer but just for the sake of seeing her face of disapproval, I mentioned the name Tag Heuer and she quickly gave a glance of annoyance and a slight shrug. I just chuckled behind her. It’s always amusing to tease her.

At the end of the day, I still haven’t found any idea for my birthday present. Even now. But I am sure glad to have someone like Sasa who I can continuously enjoy delightful evening with. Even with her constant complaining of how tired she is at the end of a long day at work.

So, Sasa, thank you so much for the dinner and everything. I’ll let you know the minute I figure out what I want for my birthday. Or the next time I have a mischievous idea just to hear you membebel.

25th of January, 23 Years of Age

About 23 years ago, during the silent night, at the maternity ward at Hospital Pantai, something magical happened. A baby was born into this world. That baby was me…haha!!

It is 2.01 am, Tuesday, 25th of January 2005. Although not technically but officially I am 23 years old. I am currently jobless, not in a serious relationship and still living with my parents. My my, isn’t that interesting? But then again, I have a Bachelor’s degree, an amicable social life and I drink ridiculous RM10 ice-blended coffee on a regular basis. So all in all I am not really a complete failure. It’s just a minor blip. And coincidentally it happened on my birthday. Coincidentally too, it falls on Thaipusam. Yes yes, you can all see how all the people worships me at Batu Caves (which happens to be only a 10-minute drive from my residence).

So, what is being 23 all about? Well, about a year ago, I had a berbuka puasa get together with a bunch of friends at Chili’s. Among them was a certain Regina Hayati. Now, she’s was born a year earlier than me which made her already 23 at that time. So, there she was, along with her closest friends, were excitedly talking about a vacation among themselves and there mentions of Japan, Europe and maybe even Australia if I was not mistaken. Beady eyed, I was seated across the table from them and I could not help but feel quite intimidated if not perplexed by the whole agenda unraveling. At that time, I thought to myself, when I reach 23, will I be talking about trips to Europe with my closest colleagues? Because back then I even had to put aside a significant amount of money just to make the trip back to UTP every once and again. The answer to that question is a resolute NO. I couldn’t even afford a decent haircut at Jantzen on my own let alone a plane ticket out of the country.

So, where does that leaves us? Not much. Last year I celebrated with my UTP friends at Moven’s Peak. It was just a fair occasion because the food wasn’t that great. The Char Kuey Teow at SS3 tasted better. But my best ever birthday celebrations was on my 20th when on the dawn of my birthday, I head out with 2 of my mates to the cool and breezy beach of Teluk Nipah on Pulau Pangkor. I sat on the bench at the seaside with my toes in the sand and watching fishermen brought out their boats towards the open sea while the sun began to rise. And at that moment, I was happy.

My 21st was equally impressive. I was atop of Penang Hill. But there was no quiet moment this around. I was sweating because of all the running and fooling around we had and acting like a bunch of 15-year-olds. But it’s still fun.

Oh those were the days. For this year, it will be just a small family occasion. No hustle or bustle. Unless, of course, somebody wants to surprise me with a week long getaway to Venice then I would most gladly oblige.

Maybe next year. You know, when I’m 24 and making money would I make a decent celebration. The usuals, raunchy party, huge cake and strippers on the stage with their tongues sticking out of their mouths. Haha..I’d wish! Nah, it would probably go along a weekend getaway by the beach. Or maybe on an island. With lots of topless mat salehs sunbathing. Haha~

No no, seriously….they have to be Latinos preferably and around my age so I could snog one. Haha~

Haih…what 23 actually means is more responsibility. It’s quite a bummer because I never grew tired of being a kid. Life was so free back then. But the remote control of time doesn’t have a rewind button. It’s always on continuous Play. Well, just like they all say, life goes on. Ruthless world, here I come…

Tiada Lafaz yg Lebih Agung

Anugerah Juara Lagu ke 19. That’s my highlight of the weekend. I would like to say that I actually went to Stadium Putra to catch the event but in reality...no. I watched it in front of the telly. Strangely though, the experience wasn’t that bad. And I just fell in love with Relaku Pujuk. I have heard it before and already I thought it was a good song. Then, I heard and saw it again performed live and I just realized, this song has a soul. It was hard to believe that the song came from the same group that brought Aladdin (which was a horrible song. I hated it...instantly). But the biggest surprise must be the fact that it beat Misha’s Pulangkan.

As for me, well, the only ‘pulangkan’ I’ll be doing is to bring back my little brother home this Wednesday from Kuala Selangor for the Raya Haji holidays. That is almost 3 hours of back and forth driving. As for tomorrow, I have to take my sister to Bukit Bintang and then to Kelana Jaya to pickup my grandmother as she will be going to see Siti Nurhaliza later that night with my brother. What to do? I’m the family chauffeur. 2 months of almost non-existant driving then suddenly I’m raking up the miles like mad.

Employment update: tomok is the latest member. He will be going to Formis. No real surprise there. He'll start on 24 January. As for me, I’ll be planning my birthday bash on that day(as if I’ll have one). But seriously, I don’t think I’m quite ready for work. I am in my final transition period. The first was before kindergarten when the only entertainment made sense on TV was slapstick comedy. Then it was before primary school. That wasn’t really cool because you’re too scared of entering Standard 1 (apparently, it is depicted as hell). Then it was after UPSR. Now that was sweet. I remembered coming to school a month after the final paper and sitting at my table and don’t know what to do because I had played all the games imaginable already. Walking to the canteen during recess suddenly became a significant event of the day. Soon, hell really did came in the form of high school. The only thing made me going was the brotherhood that was bonded during those 5 grueling years. But after SPM, whew, I turned off my brain to the point it almost became non-functional. Then, comes the present. The gap between the student life that I have become so accustomed to and the final frontier….the career life. Thankfully, I have endured 8 months of industrial internship so I know what to expect. But, that is not all good news either because once I do have a job, that will mark the end of waking up at 10 during weekdays. The end of frolicking around KL at noon while most people are working and the traffic made sense. The end of late night football, the end of the relaxing life as I know it…and loved. I will become a drone. Haih…and you know the saddest part is? It’s inevitable. I am destined to become a drone. Buzzing around for the good of the community. But unlike the actual drones, I’ll be making money. That is good news. 4 digits of good news. And soon after, I may be looking at a luncheon at Chinoz and an evening latte at Starbucks.

You know what, I think I’m gonna start look for work tomorrow. LNG marketing sounds fun. But in the meantime I think I’m gonna a lil bit of Mygo at Sri Hartamas. And rub shoulders with Yogi B? haha…that’ll be something.

Belog untuk hari ini

Utk arini aku telah decide,ops,memutuskan utk tulis blog dlm bahasa melayu. Bosan duh ckp omputih lama2. nnt org cakap lupa daratan. Haha. Nways,ish, walau bagaimanapun, keputusan peperiksaan sudah pun di..di..ish,post dlm bahasa melayu ape ha? Lantakla..tlh pun di'post' di laman web UTP. Keputusan saya takdela memberangsangkan sgt tp yg penting saya lulus modern music !! (tu tak kire sbb name subjek mmg dlm bahasa inggeris). Haih..cuak jugak mula2 takut tak lulus kan. Kang tak psal2 kena extend. Dahla extend sbb alasan memalukan. Sib baik lepas. Dan spt sedia maklum saya masih lagi blum bekeje. Walaupun ramai rakan2 UTP saya yg sudah pun mula bekeje (terbaru skali aritha yg dpt keje dgn ocbc dan mengikut jejak langkah sasa menjadi banker). Zal masih chill sbb die baru lepas oper…pembedahan. Jes pun tak lama kut sbb die tgh tunggu result kuar. Maaf, keputusan peperiksaan kuar. Acai mencikcur kat kedah, apau mencikcur kat kl,gombak a.k.a paris. Irwan takyah keje sbb die mmg dah sedia kaya. Kak gina jd kauselor utk kak red. Mon jd cikgu sekolah menengah, pak din,ops,dhiauddin jd HR manager kat proton dan hadi ternak berudu kat rumah. Lain2 aku tak tau la cer ape.

Haih..aku rase cukup la utk kali ini. Panas sungguh cuaca sejak kebelakangan ni. Nak gerak2 pun rase malas. Bile la nak salji nak turun kat gombak ni...

Scent of a Woman

I never thought light has a smell to it. It was even a nice fragrance. I found that out last night. Around 1 a.m., seated next to me in the passenger seat in mom’s Spectra driving along Jalan Sentul. She, of course, is Cahya (or Nur, as my brother likes to refer to her). She’s a stewardess and (surprise2) is dating my brother. God, he’s good. Anyway, I was on a rescue mission. Apparently my brother took Valerie to go out with Cahya and (another surprise2) the alternator went bust. So, there I was, in my depressing Next t-shirt and Nike shorts, answered my brother’s distress call all the way from Sentul. Being in line with The Code, parents were not notified. Answers are only given upon questioning (which was the next morning). Anyway, the point is after nearly more than an hour waiting in the street with my brother waiting for my arrival, when she stepped into the car, she smelled good. Almost flowery. Compared to her, I felt ashamed just to be in her vicinity. How you girls do that? Even in the most unpleasant of situations, you people somehow just able to smell nice. Alluring even. It baffles me. To me, it’s one of the great mysteries of the universe. Actually, this reminded me of a similar situation a few years back when I picked up eiwa from Medan Kidd. She just arrived on a bus all the way from Kedah. That’s a 6 hour ride and it was already 7pm. 6 hours in an express bus, I must say, I expected a comot version of eiwa. You know, the tired, sleepy and glad-to-be-out-of-the-bus kind of version. Boy, was I wrong. When she stepped in, my car suddenly smelt like a rose garden in Cameron Highlands. It was blooming all over the place. I was almost lost in the pleasant aroma. It was once again flowery…and somehow fresh…like rosebuds in the early mornings. And even a touch of Jasmine. With a slight spray of citrus. And the way she looked, goodness gracious, did NOT resemble a person who just came off from a 6 hour journey. She looked she just stepped out of the shower…prepped and ready to go. The level of shameness that I experienced at that moment was exactly what I felt last night, seated with Cahya by my side. You see, a man could never achieve that. Even after a 45 minute plane trip. Women just looked better. And smelled better.

It just amazes me, actually. The scent of a woman. I’d must say, it’s one of my weaknesses. If I was in the middle of a conversation and whiff of a woman’s fragrance pass me by, I would be lost and had to recall my last few words. Once, a friend asked what I liked most about a woman and I said, “…the way she smells”. She let out a small laugh. Yes, she. Women has one of the most deadliest weapon and some of them didn’t even realize they have them. And yes, she, my friend, too smelled nice.

New Year Resolution

Today is already the 6th of January and as of this evening, I just realized that I haven’t yet made a new year’s resolution for 2005. It’s quite strange actually because for the past few years I have always made a new year’s resolution. Although I couldn’t quite remember the last time any of them actually being achieved but that is not the point. The point is, well, to come up with one, I suppose.

So, for 2004 I had two. One is to become a sort of a cult figure in UTP since it would be my final year there but I think I used a different word back then. Acknowledged? Worshipped? I don’t know but somewhere along the lines of ‘God’. If you’d seen Can’t Hardly Wait then Jerry O’Connel’s character was what I intended to become. The guy who people still talked about long after he had already graduated. A stuff of legends. But that didn’t matter, really because I never made it. Seemed inspirational at first but my final semester at UTP was so horrendous it was forgettable. I had a car which I never had the joy of driving. Consequently, that affected my social life…dearly. How could one become the next legend if all he does was to tumpang everyone everywhere he wanted to go? So, there goes the first one. The second was quite sad. I wanted to find myself a girlfriend. Wasn’t that pathetic? I actually set a timeframe for myself to get into a relationship. But I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was until mid way through the year for which by then I had dumped the idea. I have come to realize that I don’t actually need a serious relationship. Like any male species I need a purpose in anything that I do. If I don’t see a purpose, chances are I’m not interested in pursuing it in the first place. For example, if I dine at Victoria Station, in the end I’ll be full. If I go to Malibu, then I’ll get a nice holiday by the beach. But what do I get in a girlfriend? Someone to call and SMS everyday? I already have that. Someone to call me sayang every now and then? My mother calls me that every day. Someone to watch a movie with? I have my small brother for that. Someone to spend my weekends with? Oh I have plenty for those. So, then, what’s the point? I’m sorry if someone doesn’t agree with me but really I’m happy as I am. For once in my life, I couldn’t ask for more. Except for a brand new BMW 645Ci. Oh, and also, unless Siti Nabilah dumps her current boyfriend and came leaping into my arms and start French kissing me then I would be more than glad to get into a relationship! Fuck that, I’ll marry her if I could!

So, where does that leave us? One failed resolution and another dumped one. As for 2005, well, as for the moment I could not think of one. What I really want I now is a job but that couldn’t pass as a resolution because I’ll eventually get one. No, that would be a lie. I don’t WANT a job. What I really want is to fool around until I’m old and money just miraculously pours into my bank account constantly. But in this not-so-ideal world, I have to get a job to continue in this big circle of life. Unless I’m the next crown prince of Pahang I’d have to work to get my first BMW.

After giving some thought I still could not think of a good resolution for this year. I mean, I want to learn French. Or Italian. Maybe both but those don’t seem to have a touch of grandeur. I want to learn foot message so I can impress women but that too seems to miniscule. Oh, I also want to wear a RM5000 Ermenegildo Zegna suit to my convocation but that too lacks depth. Haih…maybe I WON’T have a new year resolution for 2005. It will be a first but, you know what, I couldn’t be bothered less.

A National Disgrace

It is truly a sad day. For any Malaysian football fans, it is surely a sad day. It was the Semi-final of the Tiger Cup. A 2-1 lead from the first leg to bring home to. At halftime of the 2nd leg, we were 3-1 up on aggregate. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Wrong. As a matter of fact, dead wrong. Indonesia scored 4 goals in the last 15 minutes. 4 goals! That is comical defending! I’d say I’ve never seen school girls play football but if I ever had, I bet they will play exactly how our national team played in the 2nd half. It was an appalling performance.
I for once thought that maybe this could be it. This year, maybe, we have a genuine chance of actually winning something. Maybe, just maybe. Then, as time has proven yet again, our national team disappoints their own fans in front of packed Bukit Jalil Stadium. Sure I was late. Sure I didn’t get a seat. Sure I didn’t catch Malaysia’s goal but I did saw Indonesia’s final nail into the coffin and it pierced through my heart. As I lay crouched in the shadows watching the celebrations by the Indonesians, I almost wept.

Such it the bitter end…

Such it a national disgrace…

Tis' Holiday Season

Although I didn’t get the Lamborghini Murcielago that I asked Santa for Christmas, I find myself, how would you say, ‘entertained’ for the past week or so.

Yasir’s wedding was fun. Also, the night out afterwards with the lads at Yow Chuan although my tire got punctured later on. A good day of football the day after. Laid back at home for the next couple of days. Got stood up at JPN on Thursday (which I might add the ONLY downside of the week) but went out with Jes for the rest of the day and that is always fun. Unfortunately, financial constraints were on both of us so the choices of things to do was a little bit restricted. If not we would’ve gone to Genting and went on roller coaster rides and end the day with a hot latte.

Then came the pinnacle day of the year. December 31st. Although it was already confirmed that no official celebration will be held in respect to the lives lost in the tsunami aftermath, people still thronged to KLCC park, wishing for something, anything to happen. Some fireworks display I suppose. I too went there to see IF anything did turn up. Sadly though, those thousands of people will go home more disappointed than they were when they came. However, the only new year partying will happen at night clubs and so I went to Jln P. Ramlee and was I spot on. While the pathetic Malay community sat miserably around the KLCC lake, the Chinese and the occasional ‘mat saleh’ got it down there. There was no collective countdown, just a sudden surge of noise when the clock ticked 12 but still it was quite fun. The clubs were filled to the brim. People were masquerading the streets and there was a lot of spray cans laying around. The kind where they shoot out doodles or foam out of them. Of course, people were nuts and almost everyone got, even passer by, got sprayed. Myself not excluded. Of course all in the spirit of celebrating so when I got foam in my hair and the guy who did it shouted “Happy New Year!” right on my face I could only reply with a generous smile. Strangely, these things are well fragranced. Just so to make them less annoying I suppose.

Then came the quality time with the family. It has been quite some time since Mom was able to gather all of her 4 children at the same time so when it did finally happen, she made it count. And for one, couldn’t possibly ruin that. Family comes first. That’s why I even ditched the annual new year celebrations with the lads.

The new school season starts tomorrow and for once am glad. I finally get to go to the movies and not having myself queuing behind kids who dresses up thinking he’s the next Jay-Z or Nelly. Finally, some quality time for myself. And I’m headed to Bukit Jalil tomorrow to support the National team. That’s something to look forward to.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, life is peachy

Mas 2 - 1 Ind, Chelsea 2 - 0 Portsmouth

All was well in the footie world yesterday.Senayan was conquered and Portsmouth pierced.

The Tidal Waves that Shook My Shores

During the end credits of There’s Something About Mary, the makers of the film decided to use The Foundations’ Build Me Up Buttercup as its background song. And it goes something like this…

Why do you build me up
Buttercup baby just to let me down
And mess me around

The ‘baby’ however, in the context of the film, would kindly refer to Cameron Diaz. I also sang the tune today but my ‘baby’ is rather different. It comes in the form of a natural disaster. More specifically, a tsunami.

When I first learned about tsunamis it was during the time I couldn’t even imagine how on earth could an earthquake occur underwater. The idea itself was a far fetched one let alone I would personally experience such an incident and in this case, I maybe safe from the treacherous killer waves but I am on the receiving end of its consequences.

Along the years of my youth I have welcomed the new year in a variety of places. The KLCC park, Dataran Merdeka and even on top of a building overseeing the far distant fireworks on display from the city. This year, I was hoping, for the first time ever, I could usher in 2005 at a beach in PD. Sadly, though, that wish would not be realized.

Along with many other natural disasters, tsunamis have created a considerable amount of damage not just to the physical level of a human body but also his mind. After experiencing the gut wrenching tidal waves, people all over the South East Asia region are scared shitless to go anywhere near the beach. Even though they are on the other side of the peninsular, let’s say Rantau Abang for instance. So imagine the euphoria surrounding an area such as PD. You’ve guessed it, same shait. Suddenly, hydrophobic has become the new rend.

Concerned with our own safety, the PD plan is cancelled. Disappointed? The hell I am, but who am I to argue? The current death toll is about 22000 and I don’t want to be part of that statistic.

Grievance. Brood. Contemplate. Really, those are only my best options.

Christmas Eve

Apart from football, there is another thing to could make me happy. A taste of luxury life. I had the most exquisite dinner I could remember in a long, long time. It is Christmas Eve and I just came back from the KL Hilton. Along with the magnificent contemporary décor, the food was beyond excellent. I was introduced to the concept of semi-buffet where you can choose the main course from a given menu and the buffet consists of the appetizers and desserts. But what do you make of it when the so-called appetizers offer the likes of lamb roast, turkey ham, escargot, oysters, caviar, chicken liver and lobsters? I couldn’t and was left baffled by the wonderful array I had at my disposal. Nevertheless, I had a delightful evening. I even had to cancel my futsal date with the lads. Although, I felt a bit guilty but I think I was better off. This time at least. Oh, and by the way, dining together at Sudu were Sarimah Ibrahim along with her companion. I couldn’t recognize her at first because she had straightened her hair, which by the way made her look lovely. And she was lovely. Extremely beautiful to be more accurate. Even my mum agrees with me. I’d must say, she looked better in real life than those TV shows and glossy magazines. It must be the day of the artists because earlier that day at KLCC I saw the other half of my idol that is Harith Iskandar. I usually ridicule people who wore sunglasses inside of shopping complexes but this time I’ll make an exception.

Overall, life has been rosy since I left Tronoh for good. Valerie is finally back home but not for long. Her days are numbered. She will be sold sooner rather than later.

The only thing left for me is to get a job. But if I do get my job, there goes my fun life as I know it. But if I do not, then I cannot make the next step in this ambitious life of mine. And also means no income, which I honestly think, kind of unpleasant. Quite a dilemma there.

But for now, everything’s peachy

It's the 4th day

It’s probably no use of complaining now. It seems inevitable that I am still here. About a month ago, a few colleagues of mine asked me when will I finish my studies. I jokingly answered, “Why don’t you ask me again at Christmas”, knowingly, rather convincingly that by then, I will be free of any obligations. Considering my absolute deadline was on the 20th of December. But now, all that doesn’t seem too amusing. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am still at UTP. And technically, after completing my clearance, I am currently an illegal immigrant inside of UTP compound. I have no legitimate ID and I’m using the apartment along with its facilities free of charge. Sneaky lil’ bastard ain’t I? Well, to tell the truth, there is nothing I can do. Except wait.

Continuing my indulgence in the arts, yesterday I learned a dance. Actually, I’m not even sure whether it is a proper dance. In truth, I just imitated Hugh Grant’s ridiculous booty shaking wriggle to the sound of Girls Aloud’s Jump from the movie Love Actually. It’s quite embarrassing, really. I wouldn’t do it again unless I’m all alone in a room and then suddenly that scene pops up in my head.

Hold me
I’ll give you all that you need
Wrap your love around me

Oh sod…

You know, I’m lucky cause I’m an expert in self amusement. Even in the direst of moments, I still can find something (not necessarily useful) to do. Although, I must admit, the current situation really challenges my ability. As for the moment, no radical idea has to yet to come to mind but I do have a lot of movies in storage. Movies I’ve seen that is. Wouldn’t hurt to watch them all over again even though that is not something that I would normally do. I would love to see Ocean’s 12 but that’s 30 km away so that is a little out of reach. Way out of reach for that matter. Strangely, the weather in Tronoh is not that bad. One would normally associated it with its scorching heat and blistering sunlight but it’s already noon and the weather is pleasant. Oh good God, I’m talking about the weather. That’s a new low. Speaking of which, I have Under the Tuscan Sun DVD. Hmm..that would make an interesting choice.

Por Una Cabeza

What the hell am I still doing here? I’m still stuck in Tronoh. With no transport. No thanks to those numbskull blokes at Tmn Maju. What I thought my final slumber at UTP turned out to be my 2nd last. I hope last night would be the definitive end.

If the day before turned me into a Da Vinci enthusiast, yesterday I dwelled into tango music. I must say Por Una Cabeza is my favorite. Originally sung by Carlos Gardel, it was later adapted to tango into a beautiful serenade. Pity, it only lasts for a mere 2 minutes. Oh look, I’ve turned into a man of the arts. That’s something I didn’t expect. I sure hope I can get home today. Last night, I had to walk in the rain to get a decent meal. Along the way, I could hear the sound of my footsteps echoing between the blocks of V4-E and V3-D as I walked along the pathway. It wasn’t at least scary but sure enough frustrating, considering the consequences of the incidents that had led me to that situation.

Cuantos desengaños, por una cabeza,

yo jure mil veces no vuelvo a insistir

pero si un mirar me hiere al pasar,

su boca de fuego, otra vez, quiero besar.

Many deceptions, loosing by a head...

I swore a thousand times not to insist again

but if a look sways me on passing by

her lips of fire, I want to kiss once more.

Beauty and the Beast

It was during one of those men chat that I was having with a good friend of mine,who was educated in the art of seducing women since the tender age of 13 that I asked him this question, "How in the world does an absolute beauty like that," pointing my index finger to a tall Nicole-Kidman-like girl, "end up with a less-than-atractive partner like that?" shifting my finger to her spouse, a scruffy looking Willem Dafoe.I continued, "and it happens more often than not.It's one of the mysteries of the universe".
"Well," shifting his seating position,he replied, "It's not really a mystery.You see, when a woman of that beauty emerges,usually the regular blokes,liek you and me,and even sometimes the good looking ones,could only admire her from afar.Why?Well,most of the time they are scared.Scared of being rejected.So,when the "rightful" people dared not to make the first move, a lesser bloke came along, with nothing to lose,dared the unthinkable and guess what?He bags the princess" he finished with a sly grin.
Obviously quite stunned with the directness of the answer.I could offer no reply.Staying silent,I could only indicate that I couldn't agree more with him.

Da Vinci

I am all alone at UTP. I have never ever seen this place so devoid of life. It's so quiet. And I don't mean it in a good day.So, in order to abolish or at least lessen the amount of boredom I'm experiencing, one would've guessed that I'd watch a movie or go ronda2. But guess what?I took a crash course on the works of Leonardo Da Vinci. Since the last 24 hours,I have now become familiar with the Lourve,The Vitruvian Man,The Madonna of the Rocks,The Virgin of the Rocks,The Last Supper and of course,The Mona Lisa.Hardly believable,right?But that is the truth.It is safe to say that I am now a light aficianado of the great Da Vinci.

Femmes

For the first time, I went to KL, since, well, since forever. The city was filled with people. It was noisy. Smoke and dust were everywhere. God, how much I missed it! I missed KL so much. Never mind the RM10 coffee and the long traffic jams, I just love the city life. And by next week, I can kiss au revoir to the sad and lonely life in Tronoh. People all around me have been distressing on how they’re going to miss the student life yada yada. Yeah whatever. Like, duh, don’t you wanna move on? 4 ½ years is more than enough for me. I wanna start making money and have myself a comfortable life filled with fine clothes, fine car and trendy restaurants. What could be better than money? People who say money is the root of all evil, doesn’t have any.

Anyway, things are looking bright for me. Except for Valerie. I am so sick of being bullshitted for so long. If by this coming Tuesday they’re still not done, I’m towing her back to KL, where the service is quicker and better.

And I’ve decided NOT to back to UTP tomorrow. It’s too goddamn early. Just what the hell am I gonna do during the weekends? Oh hell no! I’m better off at home. And that is common sense.

You know, it’s kinda weird that I have been so rajin filling up my blog. Last time, I used to write long emails. Now that I have this, it’s sorta the next step. Hahaha..that is such a lame statement. I mean, who actually read this? Oh yeah, I forgot, Syarifah Bahiyah read my blogs. That’s quite a revelation ain’t it? She’s probably reading this line right now. Oh I forgot the Mrs. It’s Mrs. Syarifah Bahiyah. Apparently, she’s pretty particular about that. And, I might say, quite smug about it too. Well, you can’t really blame her.

Looking at the crescent moon moonlighting over the city lights, I just thought, I might as well follow up on those windows of opportunities. What? Jobs? No…I mean women. There’s this lovely Shereen. And Vinne. Oh yes, Vinne. Then there’s Natasha. Oh how can I forget about Natasha. Goodness gracious, that’s quite a handful. But at least it should provide some fun.

"Sorry,but all of my friends are taken. Wow, I've never said that before"
That was a line from Carrie Bradshaw during a conversation with her luvah.

As I was watching that scene, I was suddenly filled with a significant amount of irony. Hmm...

Oh no...

I am free tomorrow. I have free time, for leisure, tomorrow. That feels kinda weird because I have been living under stress for quite some time now that I can no longer remember how it feels to actually have some spare time. I can actually go to a cinema tomorrow and not feeling guilty about it. I can wake up late without having to worry about being overslept. I can do fun and meaningless things tomorrow and actually have a genuine smile about it. But how? I have forgotten how. I did had some fun lately but usually at 60% commitment. I didn’t want to get over excited. But now I have that luxury…and I don’t know how to make the best of it. That’s strange. I feel kind of empty. How is that possible? Wait a minute, that is NOT possible. I will not let that happen. I will go out tomorrow. To where I don’t know but somewhere. I just have to keep myself occupied. Oh sod, I sound so desperate. And I’m putting it in a blog. Oh for fuck’s sake…

Malaysia 2 Thailand 1

Khalid Jamlus, the dude who delivered
That is the score line that I never thought I would witness last night. Not only Malaysia beat Thailand, we dumped them out of the Tiger Cup. And for the first time ever, Thailand is out as early as the group stage! How sweet is that? I have been longing for that kind of performance from our National team for a long time. That is how our team should play. With finesse and vigour. I just hope this continues. If Malaysia goes to the Final, then I’ll be sure as hell will be at Bukit Jalil. There’s nothing better than rooting for your home team in a major Final.

Apart from that, I just submitted my dissertation for hardbounding. By Friday, I can pick them up. Maybe during the weekend I can go back to UTP and then bloody submit my dissertation!! How fucking cool is that!?

Haih…I’m soooo happy. In a few more days, I will be retiring from being a student. I’m not quite sure what to expect next cause I have been a student since I was 5. But I think it’s gonna be a blast. Why? Because I’m gonna be making gobs of money.

My Dream Job

Given the current circumstances I don’t think I’m fit enough to work in the IT world. It’s true I know a few programming languages and it’s also true that I am well aware of all the current technologies and trends but that is just about it. My expertise, as you may call it, is mediocre at best. There are plenty of far more talented programmers, data base administrators, web site developers and network engineers out there. What’s worse, some of them are still unemployed. If they talented people like them could not get a job, then what are the chances that I will?

So, I think it’s probably time to think and possibly venture out of the technology world. Career terms of course. My father did mention something about the financial field. That sounds interesting given the fact that I have been avoiding the finance and accounts since I was 16. But then again, who knows, I may turn out quite a talented financial planner. Besides, there are a lot more vacancies there compared to the IT world.

But what I really should ask myself is what do I like? What would I like to do for a career? The last time I asked myself this question was when I was 12. The answer was a pilot. More specifically, a commercial airline pilot. I was already amazed and awed by the humongous 747s and have yet to get to Disneyland. What better way to get there than go there, without the need to pay for the travel fee (but in turn get paid for doing it) while flying you own plane? It was an awesome plan. It was perfect. That is until my father asked me the same question. I gave the same answer, gleefully. His reply was, “I want you to get a job where you need a university degree for it”. It turned out, I could get to be pilot as early as I hit 17. But I don’t want to be a dumbass. Not as much as my father would either. As cool being a pilot may be, at the same time I don’t want to be known as a guy who only has an education level up until high school.

So, as I sit here, pondering again the question I asked myself 10 years ago, I figured the only thing I’m good at and enjoy doing is this. Writing. Well, nowadays it’s more like typing…composing is more like it. Wait, that sounds like I’m writing a song. Writing. Yup, that’s the word, ‘writing’. Or as I would call it, creating bullshit out of nothing. I’m never a fan of boring factual reports. Once, I put humorous elements inside one of my formal reports I received a less than pleasing comment from my evaluator. That was the last time I dared such a thing. Since then I have been writing my reports with agony and boredom.

I think I would make a pretty good novelist. However, as much I enjoy reading them, the commitment associated with creating a memorable one is quite daunting. A good novelist usually spends 2 to 3 years working on a single novel. In some cases 5 to 7 years. To spend that period of time working on a single topic and theme, once again, I think I’ll bore myself to death.

So, what kind of job that I could display my creativity in writing and constantly changing the themes now and again? My answer is this: a writer who writes articles. A columnist. Be it for a newspaper or a magazine. It will be an awesome job. The best example would be this: Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City a.k.a. Carrie Bradshaw. Actually her job is not really glamourous because the paper that she writes the article for is not really a mainstream daily. It is equivalent of Harian Metro in Malaysia. But, then again, she shops at Dior and Prada and wear Manolo Blahniks at her feet and lives in Manhattan. She also, however, lives in a small apartment and does not own a car. But she still manages to go and dine at trendy restaurants and get invites to A-list parties. But wait, could this be true? I mean, it’s still a TV show and you begin to wonder is the lifestyle could really be possible. Some of us would like to yes even though it means lying to ourselves.

Another debonair example is Richard Gere in Runaway Bride. Top columnist for the New York Times (or was it USA Today?) and everybody read his articles. He was well known and rives a convertible. Suave, I might say. But again, it’s a movie. A fiction. Someone’s screenplay being adopted to the silver screen.

In real life? In Malaysia? What? A columnist for New Straits Times? Geez, even I don’t who write them. Even sometimes the good ones. How about magazines? Female magazines is a complete no-no. What good would it do in hiring a columnist of the opposite sex? So that leaves men magazines in Malaysia. What ? Maskulin? Oh please, no. Too horrific. FHM? It’s not even a magazine. It’s a joke. A proper men’s magazine is something like GQ or Esquire. Or even Maxim. Now that would be awesome. That is supreme. An established columnist for the Esquire or GQ. Whoa…now that would be some pickup line. “I’m a writer for the Esquire. You’ve probably come across it. It’s quite popular”.

But alas, as of now, that dream is still a dream. I think it’s a fantasy. Fantasies are far more fetched than dreams. Almost on the verge of impossible. Berangan namenye. Tp takleh berangan lame sgt. Nnt makan diri. Ghetu~

The Trip:The Aftermath

Subject:
My trip from Ipoh to KL on an express bus.

Conclusion:
It was horrible.

Future resolution:
Hoping never have to go through it again.

Good thing to come out of it:
Well, at least I'm home...safely