Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Mas 2 - 1 Ind, Chelsea 2 - 0 Portsmouth

All was well in the footie world yesterday.Senayan was conquered and Portsmouth pierced.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

The Tidal Waves that Shook My Shores

During the end credits of There’s Something About Mary, the makers of the film decided to use The Foundations’ Build Me Up Buttercup as its background song. And it goes something like this…

Why do you build me up
Buttercup baby just to let me down
And mess me around

The ‘baby’ however, in the context of the film, would kindly refer to Cameron Diaz. I also sang the tune today but my ‘baby’ is rather different. It comes in the form of a natural disaster. More specifically, a tsunami.

When I first learned about tsunamis it was during the time I couldn’t even imagine how on earth could an earthquake occur underwater. The idea itself was a far fetched one let alone I would personally experience such an incident and in this case, I maybe safe from the treacherous killer waves but I am on the receiving end of its consequences.

Along the years of my youth I have welcomed the new year in a variety of places. The KLCC park, Dataran Merdeka and even on top of a building overseeing the far distant fireworks on display from the city. This year, I was hoping, for the first time ever, I could usher in 2005 at a beach in PD. Sadly, though, that wish would not be realized.

Along with many other natural disasters, tsunamis have created a considerable amount of damage not just to the physical level of a human body but also his mind. After experiencing the gut wrenching tidal waves, people all over the South East Asia region are scared shitless to go anywhere near the beach. Even though they are on the other side of the peninsular, let’s say Rantau Abang for instance. So imagine the euphoria surrounding an area such as PD. You’ve guessed it, same shait. Suddenly, hydrophobic has become the new rend.

Concerned with our own safety, the PD plan is cancelled. Disappointed? The hell I am, but who am I to argue? The current death toll is about 22000 and I don’t want to be part of that statistic.

Grievance. Brood. Contemplate. Really, those are only my best options.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Eve

Apart from football, there is another thing to could make me happy. A taste of luxury life. I had the most exquisite dinner I could remember in a long, long time. It is Christmas Eve and I just came back from the KL Hilton. Along with the magnificent contemporary décor, the food was beyond excellent. I was introduced to the concept of semi-buffet where you can choose the main course from a given menu and the buffet consists of the appetizers and desserts. But what do you make of it when the so-called appetizers offer the likes of lamb roast, turkey ham, escargot, oysters, caviar, chicken liver and lobsters? I couldn’t and was left baffled by the wonderful array I had at my disposal. Nevertheless, I had a delightful evening. I even had to cancel my futsal date with the lads. Although, I felt a bit guilty but I think I was better off. This time at least. Oh, and by the way, dining together at Sudu were Sarimah Ibrahim along with her companion. I couldn’t recognize her at first because she had straightened her hair, which by the way made her look lovely. And she was lovely. Extremely beautiful to be more accurate. Even my mum agrees with me. I’d must say, she looked better in real life than those TV shows and glossy magazines. It must be the day of the artists because earlier that day at KLCC I saw the other half of my idol that is Harith Iskandar. I usually ridicule people who wore sunglasses inside of shopping complexes but this time I’ll make an exception.

Overall, life has been rosy since I left Tronoh for good. Valerie is finally back home but not for long. Her days are numbered. She will be sold sooner rather than later.

The only thing left for me is to get a job. But if I do get my job, there goes my fun life as I know it. But if I do not, then I cannot make the next step in this ambitious life of mine. And also means no income, which I honestly think, kind of unpleasant. Quite a dilemma there.

But for now, everything’s peachy

Thursday, December 23, 2004

It's the 4th day

It’s probably no use of complaining now. It seems inevitable that I am still here. About a month ago, a few colleagues of mine asked me when will I finish my studies. I jokingly answered, “Why don’t you ask me again at Christmas”, knowingly, rather convincingly that by then, I will be free of any obligations. Considering my absolute deadline was on the 20th of December. But now, all that doesn’t seem too amusing. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am still at UTP. And technically, after completing my clearance, I am currently an illegal immigrant inside of UTP compound. I have no legitimate ID and I’m using the apartment along with its facilities free of charge. Sneaky lil’ bastard ain’t I? Well, to tell the truth, there is nothing I can do. Except wait.

Continuing my indulgence in the arts, yesterday I learned a dance. Actually, I’m not even sure whether it is a proper dance. In truth, I just imitated Hugh Grant’s ridiculous booty shaking wriggle to the sound of Girls Aloud’s Jump from the movie Love Actually. It’s quite embarrassing, really. I wouldn’t do it again unless I’m all alone in a room and then suddenly that scene pops up in my head.

Hold me
I’ll give you all that you need
Wrap your love around me

Oh sod…

You know, I’m lucky cause I’m an expert in self amusement. Even in the direst of moments, I still can find something (not necessarily useful) to do. Although, I must admit, the current situation really challenges my ability. As for the moment, no radical idea has to yet to come to mind but I do have a lot of movies in storage. Movies I’ve seen that is. Wouldn’t hurt to watch them all over again even though that is not something that I would normally do. I would love to see Ocean’s 12 but that’s 30 km away so that is a little out of reach. Way out of reach for that matter. Strangely, the weather in Tronoh is not that bad. One would normally associated it with its scorching heat and blistering sunlight but it’s already noon and the weather is pleasant. Oh good God, I’m talking about the weather. That’s a new low. Speaking of which, I have Under the Tuscan Sun DVD. Hmm..that would make an interesting choice.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Por Una Cabeza

What the hell am I still doing here? I’m still stuck in Tronoh. With no transport. No thanks to those numbskull blokes at Tmn Maju. What I thought my final slumber at UTP turned out to be my 2nd last. I hope last night would be the definitive end.

If the day before turned me into a Da Vinci enthusiast, yesterday I dwelled into tango music. I must say Por Una Cabeza is my favorite. Originally sung by Carlos Gardel, it was later adapted to tango into a beautiful serenade. Pity, it only lasts for a mere 2 minutes. Oh look, I’ve turned into a man of the arts. That’s something I didn’t expect. I sure hope I can get home today. Last night, I had to walk in the rain to get a decent meal. Along the way, I could hear the sound of my footsteps echoing between the blocks of V4-E and V3-D as I walked along the pathway. It wasn’t at least scary but sure enough frustrating, considering the consequences of the incidents that had led me to that situation.

Cuantos desengaños, por una cabeza,
yo jure mil veces no vuelvo a insistir
pero si un mirar me hiere al pasar,
su boca de fuego, otra vez, quiero besar.

Many deceptions, loosing by a head...
I swore a thousand times not to insist again
but if a look sways me on passing by
her lips of fire, I want to kiss once more.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Beauty and the Beast

It was during one of those men chat that I was having with a good friend of mine,who was educated in the art of seducing women since the tender age of 13 that I asked him this question, "How in the world does an absolute beauty like that," pointing my index finger to a tall Nicole-Kidman-like girl, "end up with a less-than-atractive partner like that?" shifting my finger to her spouse, a scruffy looking Willem Dafoe.I continued, "and it happens more often than not.It's one of the mysteries of the universe".
"Well," shifting his seating position,he replied, "It's not really a mystery.You see, when a woman of that beauty emerges,usually the regular blokes,liek you and me,and even sometimes the good looking ones,could only admire her from afar.Why?Well,most of the time they are scared.Scared of being rejected.So,when the "rightful" people dared not to make the first move, a lesser bloke came along, with nothing to lose,dared the unthinkable and guess what?He bags the princess" he finished with a sly grin.
Obviously quite stunned with the directness of the answer.I could offer no reply.Staying silent,I could only indicate that I couldn't agree more with him.

Da Vinci

I am all alone at UTP. I have never ever seen this place so devoid of life. It's so quiet. And I don't mean it in a good day.So, in order to abolish or at least lessen the amount of boredom I'm experiencing, one would've guessed that I'd watch a movie or go ronda2. But guess what?I took a crash course on the works of Leonardo Da Vinci. Since the last 24 hours,I have now become familiar with the Lourve,The Vitruvian Man,The Madonna of the Rocks,The Virgin of the Rocks,The Last Supper and of course,The Mona Lisa.Hardly believable,right?But that is the truth.It is safe to say that I am now a light aficianado of the great Da Vinci.

Thursday, December 16, 2004


For the first time, I went to KL, since, well, since forever. The city was filled with people. It was noisy. Smoke and dust were everywhere. God, how much I missed it! I missed KL so much. Never mind the RM10 coffee and the long traffic jams, I just love the city life. And by next week, I can kiss au revoir to the sad and lonely life in Tronoh. People all around me have been distressing on how they’re going to miss the student life yada yada. Yeah whatever. Like, duh, don’t you wanna move on? 4 ½ years is more than enough for me. I wanna start making money and have myself a comfortable life filled with fine clothes, fine car and trendy restaurants. What could be better than money? People who say money is the root of all evil, doesn’t have any.

Anyway, things are looking bright for me. Except for Valerie. I am so sick of being bullshitted for so long. If by this coming Tuesday they’re still not done, I’m towing her back to KL, where the service is quicker and better.

And I’ve decided NOT to back to UTP tomorrow. It’s too goddamn early. Just what the hell am I gonna do during the weekends? Oh hell no! I’m better off at home. And that is common sense.

You know, it’s kinda weird that I have been so rajin filling up my blog. Last time, I used to write long emails. Now that I have this, it’s sorta the next step. Hahaha..that is such a lame statement. I mean, who actually read this? Oh yeah, I forgot, Syarifah Bahiyah read my blogs. That’s quite a revelation ain’t it? She’s probably reading this line right now. Oh I forgot the Mrs. It’s Mrs. Syarifah Bahiyah. Apparently, she’s pretty particular about that. And, I might say, quite smug about it too. Well, you can’t really blame her.

Looking at the crescent moon moonlighting over the city lights, I just thought, I might as well follow up on those windows of opportunities. What? Jobs? No…I mean women. There’s this lovely Shereen. And Vinne. Oh yes, Vinne. Then there’s Natasha. Oh how can I forget about Natasha. Goodness gracious, that’s quite a handful. But at least it should provide some fun.

"Sorry,but all of my friends are taken. Wow, I've never said that before"
That was a line from Carrie Bradshaw during a conversation with her luvah.

As I was watching that scene, I was suddenly filled with a significant amount of irony. Hmm...

Oh no...

I am free tomorrow. I have free time, for leisure, tomorrow. That feels kinda weird because I have been living under stress for quite some time now that I can no longer remember how it feels to actually have some spare time. I can actually go to a cinema tomorrow and not feeling guilty about it. I can wake up late without having to worry about being overslept. I can do fun and meaningless things tomorrow and actually have a genuine smile about it. But how? I have forgotten how. I did had some fun lately but usually at 60% commitment. I didn’t want to get over excited. But now I have that luxury…and I don’t know how to make the best of it. That’s strange. I feel kind of empty. How is that possible? Wait a minute, that is NOT possible. I will not let that happen. I will go out tomorrow. To where I don’t know but somewhere. I just have to keep myself occupied. Oh sod, I sound so desperate. And I’m putting it in a blog. Oh for fuck’s sake…

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Malaysia 2 Thailand 1

Khalid Jamlus, the dude who delivered

That is the score line that I never thought I would witness last night. Not only Malaysia beat Thailand, we dumped them out of the Tiger Cup. And for the first time ever, Thailand is out as early as the group stage! How sweet is that? I have been longing for that kind of performance from our National team for a long time. That is how our team should play. With finesse and vigour. I just hope this continues. If Malaysia goes to the Final, then I’ll be sure as hell will be at Bukit Jalil. There’s nothing better than rooting for your home team in a major Final.

Apart from that, I just submitted my dissertation for hardbounding. By Friday, I can pick them up. Maybe during the weekend I can go back to UTP and then bloody submit my dissertation!! How fucking cool is that!?

Haih…I’m soooo happy. In a few more days, I will be retiring from being a student. I’m not quite sure what to expect next cause I have been a student since I was 5. But I think it’s gonna be a blast. Why? Because I’m gonna be making gobs of money.

Monday, December 13, 2004

My Dream Job

Given the current circumstances I don’t think I’m fit enough to work in the IT world. It’s true I know a few programming languages and it’s also true that I am well aware of all the current technologies and trends but that is just about it. My expertise, as you may call it, is mediocre at best. There are plenty of far more talented programmers, data base administrators, web site developers and network engineers out there. What’s worse, some of them are still unemployed. If they talented people like them could not get a job, then what are the chances that I will?

So, I think it’s probably time to think and possibly venture out of the technology world. Career terms of course. My father did mention something about the financial field. That sounds interesting given the fact that I have been avoiding the finance and accounts since I was 16. But then again, who knows, I may turn out quite a talented financial planner. Besides, there are a lot more vacancies there compared to the IT world.

But what I really should ask myself is what do I like? What would I like to do for a career? The last time I asked myself this question was when I was 12. The answer was a pilot. More specifically, a commercial airline pilot. I was already amazed and awed by the humongous 747s and have yet to get to Disneyland. What better way to get there than go there, without the need to pay for the travel fee (but in turn get paid for doing it) while flying you own plane? It was an awesome plan. It was perfect. That is until my father asked me the same question. I gave the same answer, gleefully. His reply was, “I want you to get a job where you need a university degree for it”. It turned out, I could get to be pilot as early as I hit 17. But I don’t want to be a dumbass. Not as much as my father would either. As cool being a pilot may be, at the same time I don’t want to be known as a guy who only has an education level up until high school.

So, as I sit here, pondering again the question I asked myself 10 years ago, I figured the only thing I’m good at and enjoy doing is this. Writing. Well, nowadays it’s more like typing…composing is more like it. Wait, that sounds like I’m writing a song. Writing. Yup, that’s the word, ‘writing’. Or as I would call it, creating bullshit out of nothing. I’m never a fan of boring factual reports. Once, I put humorous elements inside one of my formal reports I received a less than pleasing comment from my evaluator. That was the last time I dared such a thing. Since then I have been writing my reports with agony and boredom.

I think I would make a pretty good novelist. However, as much I enjoy reading them, the commitment associated with creating a memorable one is quite daunting. A good novelist usually spends 2 to 3 years working on a single novel. In some cases 5 to 7 years. To spend that period of time working on a single topic and theme, once again, I think I’ll bore myself to death.

So, what kind of job that I could display my creativity in writing and constantly changing the themes now and again? My answer is this: a writer who writes articles. A columnist. Be it for a newspaper or a magazine. It will be an awesome job. The best example would be this: Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City a.k.a. Carrie Bradshaw. Actually her job is not really glamourous because the paper that she writes the article for is not really a mainstream daily. It is equivalent of Harian Metro in Malaysia. But, then again, she shops at Dior and Prada and wear Manolo Blahniks at her feet and lives in Manhattan. She also, however, lives in a small apartment and does not own a car. But she still manages to go and dine at trendy restaurants and get invites to A-list parties. But wait, could this be true? I mean, it’s still a TV show and you begin to wonder is the lifestyle could really be possible. Some of us would like to yes even though it means lying to ourselves.

Another debonair example is Richard Gere in Runaway Bride. Top columnist for the New York Times (or was it USA Today?) and everybody read his articles. He was well known and rives a convertible. Suave, I might say. But again, it’s a movie. A fiction. Someone’s screenplay being adopted to the silver screen.

In real life? In Malaysia? What? A columnist for New Straits Times? Geez, even I don’t who write them. Even sometimes the good ones. How about magazines? Female magazines is a complete no-no. What good would it do in hiring a columnist of the opposite sex? So that leaves men magazines in Malaysia. What ? Maskulin? Oh please, no. Too horrific. FHM? It’s not even a magazine. It’s a joke. A proper men’s magazine is something like GQ or Esquire. Or even Maxim. Now that would be awesome. That is supreme. An established columnist for the Esquire or GQ. Whoa…now that would be some pickup line. “I’m a writer for the Esquire. You’ve probably come across it. It’s quite popular”.

But alas, as of now, that dream is still a dream. I think it’s a fantasy. Fantasies are far more fetched than dreams. Almost on the verge of impossible. Berangan namenye. Tp takleh berangan lame sgt. Nnt makan diri. Ghetu~

The Trip:The Aftermath

My trip from Ipoh to KL on an express bus.

It was horrible.

Future resolution:
Hoping never have to go through it again.

Good thing to come out of it:
Well, at least I'm home...safely

Sunday, December 12, 2004

La Vita e Bella

It was after hours. The traffic was intense as usual. I looked out of the window of my car. The sky was grey. It was sordid.

I finally arrived and parked my car. Slow steps. God, I was tired. Even my shirt is all wrinkled. I continued my walk to the entrance. The doorman held it for me. He gave a smile. I returned one with a slight nod, acknowledging his friendly gesture.

I stepped in. It was suddenly bright. I stood there in the middle. Closed my eyes and breathed in the cool pleasant air.

Up ahead was the reception counter. Behind it, displayed on the wall were the words ‘Sheraton Imperial’.

A snicker.
If only I could come home to this every day

I continued my way to Botanica Brasserie. Crowd was light. It was still early. I picked a quaint little spot by the corner. A beautiful waitress came up to me.

“Good evening, sir”

With you serving me I’m sure it is.

“Will you be having ala carte or the buffet? Our theme today is international cuisine and we have a special seafood offer on today”. She smiled persuasively.

As if you leave me with much of a choice.

As expected the food was more than fabulous. The fresh shrimps were no exception.
The mood was quaint. A soothing classical music playing in the background. Waiters and waitresses awaiting eagerly to satisfy my every silly requests with just a flick of my hand.

As I took a sip from my drink, I had to admit, life was good.

But that was back then…

Fast forward to the future and life is not as pretty as it once was. An apartment fit to fill 12 people comfortably but yet, I am all alone. With just Frank Sinatra’s singing voice to keep me company, things are quite sombre.

If things are so bad then why haven’t I gone home? That’s a pretty good question. The reason is because I can’t. As far as my ego goes, my car’s engine is being turned inside out yet again. So I guess that rules out driving back. How about a lift with someone I know? Well, it seems that the desktop computer ranks higher than me in terms of importance thus my application for the backseat was dully rejected. Not just once. I was rejected for a quite number of times. The latest was this evening. It’s not everyday you get beaten by a piece of electronic equipment.

“But I NEED my computer at home!”
Yes yes, I heard you the first time.

Last resort? Good ‘ol public transportation. It has been ages since I took one from Ipoh to KL. Last time was probably in late 2000. How will it go? Safe, I hope.

At least I’ll be returning to KL. Who knows, maybe I’ll give Sheraton Imperial a second visit.

Thursday, December 09, 2004


Things that I have been doing lately...

Beach Boys(Teluk Batik @ sunset)

The Departing Clan


Monday, December 06, 2004

Ever After

Just Married

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.Well,...

Friday, December 03, 2004

A Bitter End

It is official. This is the most sickening semester I have ever endured during my 4 ½ years here at UTP. Not only my FYP is driving me nuts, I have to reseat an exam paper because some dickhead took the level of cheating to whole new low. It’s one thing to cheat in a Finals paper but to be so mind-numbingly incompetent in doing it is another. My car is STILL not okay. And I’m gonna miss 3 open house invitations. 2 from ex-sassians and 1 from Ara. I have to decline an invitation from Ara? Goodness me this is so irritating. All because currently I don’t have the luxury known as time.
Haih…I used to like surprises. You know, the kind of surprises like when Summer shows up at Seth’s birthday party dressed up as Wonder Woman. Those kind of surprises. But not these kind. These unpleasant surprises. It seems I’m getting one every 3 or 4 days. Just when you thought it could not possibly get any does get worse. Luckily a few thoughts of wonderful excursions after this horrendous period ends do give me a smile once in awhile.