New Year Resolution

Today is already the 6th of January and as of this evening, I just realized that I haven’t yet made a new year’s resolution for 2005. It’s quite strange actually because for the past few years I have always made a new year’s resolution. Although I couldn’t quite remember the last time any of them actually being achieved but that is not the point. The point is, well, to come up with one, I suppose.

So, for 2004 I had two. One is to become a sort of a cult figure in UTP since it would be my final year there but I think I used a different word back then. Acknowledged? Worshipped? I don’t know but somewhere along the lines of ‘God’. If you’d seen Can’t Hardly Wait then Jerry O’Connel’s character was what I intended to become. The guy who people still talked about long after he had already graduated. A stuff of legends. But that didn’t matter, really because I never made it. Seemed inspirational at first but my final semester at UTP was so horrendous it was forgettable. I had a car which I never had the joy of driving. Consequently, that affected my social life…dearly. How could one become the next legend if all he does was to tumpang everyone everywhere he wanted to go? So, there goes the first one. The second was quite sad. I wanted to find myself a girlfriend. Wasn’t that pathetic? I actually set a timeframe for myself to get into a relationship. But I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was until mid way through the year for which by then I had dumped the idea. I have come to realize that I don’t actually need a serious relationship. Like any male species I need a purpose in anything that I do. If I don’t see a purpose, chances are I’m not interested in pursuing it in the first place. For example, if I dine at Victoria Station, in the end I’ll be full. If I go to Malibu, then I’ll get a nice holiday by the beach. But what do I get in a girlfriend? Someone to call and SMS everyday? I already have that. Someone to call me sayang every now and then? My mother calls me that every day. Someone to watch a movie with? I have my small brother for that. Someone to spend my weekends with? Oh I have plenty for those. So, then, what’s the point? I’m sorry if someone doesn’t agree with me but really I’m happy as I am. For once in my life, I couldn’t ask for more. Except for a brand new BMW 645Ci. Oh, and also, unless Siti Nabilah dumps her current boyfriend and came leaping into my arms and start French kissing me then I would be more than glad to get into a relationship! Fuck that, I’ll marry her if I could!

So, where does that leave us? One failed resolution and another dumped one. As for 2005, well, as for the moment I could not think of one. What I really want I now is a job but that couldn’t pass as a resolution because I’ll eventually get one. No, that would be a lie. I don’t WANT a job. What I really want is to fool around until I’m old and money just miraculously pours into my bank account constantly. But in this not-so-ideal world, I have to get a job to continue in this big circle of life. Unless I’m the next crown prince of Pahang I’d have to work to get my first BMW.

After giving some thought I still could not think of a good resolution for this year. I mean, I want to learn French. Or Italian. Maybe both but those don’t seem to have a touch of grandeur. I want to learn foot message so I can impress women but that too seems to miniscule. Oh, I also want to wear a RM5000 Ermenegildo Zegna suit to my convocation but that too lacks depth. Haih…maybe I WON’T have a new year resolution for 2005. It will be a first but, you know what, I couldn’t be bothered less.