Oh no...

I am free tomorrow. I have free time, for leisure, tomorrow. That feels kinda weird because I have been living under stress for quite some time now that I can no longer remember how it feels to actually have some spare time. I can actually go to a cinema tomorrow and not feeling guilty about it. I can wake up late without having to worry about being overslept. I can do fun and meaningless things tomorrow and actually have a genuine smile about it. But how? I have forgotten how. I did had some fun lately but usually at 60% commitment. I didn’t want to get over excited. But now I have that luxury…and I don’t know how to make the best of it. That’s strange. I feel kind of empty. How is that possible? Wait a minute, that is NOT possible. I will not let that happen. I will go out tomorrow. To where I don’t know but somewhere. I just have to keep myself occupied. Oh sod, I sound so desperate. And I’m putting it in a blog. Oh for fuck’s sake…