Monday, August 28, 2006


Ridhu kate kalau aku letak name die dlm blog ni (demi publisiti murahan), die akan kasi no phone awek dlm gamba yg terpampang di bwh

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Spice kan buntut die? Cepat Ridhu! Kalau kau tipu aku declare kau lg pervert dr aku!

Friday, August 25, 2006

'Brand New Friend'

If there is such a thing as a chic-lit author for blokes then it’ll be Mike Gayle. I first came about his writing when I borrowed his first book My Legendary Girlfriend from my uncle. I thought it was different and vastly entertaining. But I truly enjoy reading his latest work, Brand New Friend. I would rank it higher than State of Fear or even The Da Vinci Code because unlike from running around England looking for knights’ tombs while keeping one step ahead of an albino monk assassin, Gayle’s story is feels closer to home. Anyone who has a penchant for reading, I strongly recommend Brand New Friend. Although I can’t be sure whether it’ll have the same on effect on women as it did on me. But I do want to know. So if you’re a bird and happen to pick up this book, tell me what you think about it. I would love to hear your thoughts.

As I said before, after finishing the book, it got me thinking. Now how often does that happen? A book has a got a bloke reflecting on his life after reading it. The last time this happened to me was when I looked through my first ever Playboy magazine. Yeah, maybe magazines don’t count but it really opened up my eyes on how far chocolate syrup can sensually be. Not to mention whipped cream.

Anyway, Brand New Friend raised something that I find very interesting. Well, the story is about Rob who spent almost all his adult life in London where he belongs to a close group of friends. One day, he had to move to Manchester to live with his girlfriend. So he had to leave his good mates behind and start fresh. Problem was he’s 32 and making new friends is kind of difficult. He struggled, of course, and after a year, visited his friends back at London for a little reunion. But what he expected to be an all-boys night out turned out into a couples night out.

All of his friends brought their respective spouses over because they felt wrong leaving them behind. Some were expecting their first child, some just got married and some were thinking about getting married. In so, the conversation that evening no longer comprised of meaningless opinions about films, music, football and who is the best looking actress ever to appear in a movie and in what movie she looked best. That’s how it used to be. Now it’s about honeymoon destinations and house prices in Didsbury. So Rob turned to his best and surprisingly still single friend, Phil. He too admits that the conversation going on does feel a bit strange. But things have changed, Phil said. Rob was about to ask since when did this started to happen but then he realized it was when he moved out to Manchester was the answer. His move was the first and the beginning. Priorities change. As you get older, that what happens. It’s inevitable. This was what got me thinking.

Next year I‘ll be 25 and even though I don’t think I’d be that old and was offended when one of the staff at Sunway College referred to me as ‘Encik’ but truth is, I will be THAT old. At first I did fantasize about working my way up to become a millionaire, buy a Brabus, grow a moustache and then by the age of 40 find myself a pop princess and marry her. But realistically that would be very impractical. The issue of children is one major weight point in that argument. Point being, staying single until I’m bored of it may not be an option. Sooner or later the friends you usually hang out with will begin to lead a life of their own. First they’ll get girlfriends or boyfriends, then if they think it’s the right one, get engaged and then married. This is no joke because I’m experiencing it first hand. One by one of my friends are getting hitched and I can’t stop thinking whether I’m being left behind here. Oh great, here I am in my prime and having Ally McBeal-like thoughts. By the way, side-stepping a bit, Najua was getting ready for marriage life if her ex hadn’t fucked up. It’s quite scary to think that Najua was actually ready to become a wife. I mean, my big priority in life is whether I can afford the PS3 when it comes out.

So when does a bloke like me plans to join the bandwagon.? Some of the people I know had set the deadline of the age of 27 or 28 to get married. I don’t think I can put further pressure on myself by declaring a marriage deadline. But I do think it would reasonable to do it before 30. Having said that, time is not in abundance. That’s more or less 5 years from now and that is not a long time.

I call this the Natural Progression concept because it’s normal that humans do progress from one phase to another in life. As much as I’d like to remain a heat-seeking bachelor all my life I know that’s impossible. Yes, some day I do want children of my own though I can’t see how will I manage that right now but I know that it’s lurking behind a corner somewhere, ready to jump me.

In the meantime, though, I’ll just venture on looking for that perfect person. Yes, I’m one of those idiots who still believe that there’s The One for everybody. My justification for it is why could be the harm of not believing in it? It certainly gives some edge on your perception of life. Whether I’ve found her yet or not is a different matter. A part of me likes to say ‘yes’ but another part is still hoping for something better. Okay this conversation is getting too soft. I’m just pissed Chelsea lost the other day. Oh how I’d like to see Abby today. Then she could give me that head rub. Aaahh~ Oh fuck it’s Friday init? Ah shait another weekend looming. I’m now apprehensive towards weekends. Me. Apprehensive. Weekends. Oh thanks a lot,… you…ah I got no one to blame anyway. Demmit, I do hope I have a highlight today. Too much lowlight can be very detrimental to my mental health.

So, cheers, people. I do hope you all have a lovely weekend. And a toast for me so that finally one day I could tell her how much I fancy her. Here’s smoke gets in your eyes…

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I Need A Girlfriend

I wish I have a girlfriend. There I said it. The last time I said that was back in 2003. I don’t remember what triggered me to say it back then but I know why this time around.

As a working individual, the weekends are supposed to be a period of release. For two days when you don’t to have wake up early just to beat the morning traffic or worry how to explain to your superior why you haven’t finished that report which you were meant to submit to him three days ago. You can put on your favorite shorts on and switch on the TV to catch the highlights of last night’s EPL games. Weekends are the time to kick back and relax as the world passes you by. I used to have that luxury. Now, even though a bit strained with the ACCA classes and all, I could still manage to find a bit of fun in between now and again. Even when I don’t have anything specifically planned for my tight leisure time, I still could find solace in playing FM, catch up on my reading or watch CSI Supreme Sunday. And with the new football season have gone underway, surely ‘boredom’ would be the last word in my vocabulary, right? Wrong. And how I hate to be wrong in this one.

Last Friday I have set myself a task, or call it a mission, if you may, to make an effort and call Najua for a second outing. Well, I didn’t, sorry to say. Mainly because I gave myself the lame excuse of not regaining my voice back yet. I still sounded like a 15-year-old record player. But in truth I was too chicken shit to make that call. Instead I called some of my mates looking for any type of amusement for the night. But it was a dire effort. One had to spend quality time with his girlfriend and the other told me to come up with something instead and later call back to tell him what it’ll be. Then what’s the point of me calling in the first place? So eventually, Friday night passed uneventfully. But it didn’t quite bothered me though because I get to play The Godfather game and it kicks ass, even more so if you’re a fan of the movie. Then again, if you’re a normal bloke, you should be.

Saturday mornings are supposed to be spent watching cartoons in your pajamas until noon with a sugary bowl of cereal in front of you. That is, if you’re 10. If you’re my age (or me, to be exact) then you’ll probably be watching Mythbusters and have a slice of soggy microwaved pizza in one hand. I had made a promise that morning that whether by hook or by fucking crook, I going to have fun that night. That is, right after class. Problem was, nobody who’s sane enough would make plans for Saturday night as early as Saturday noon. Unless you’re planning for a long day out that would stretch into the night, which wasn’t an option available to me. So, like it or not, I had to kind of wait until night itself to actually came before I can ring people to ask what’s up. At first I thought, that shouldn’t prove too much of an obstacle. I mean, I know quite a number of people. What are the chances all of them were not free? Once again, as it beginning to happen more often to me lately, I assumed too soon.

I probably called around 11 people that night and none, I repeat, none, were free. Some didn’t pick up, some were with their families, girlfriends, at weddings, you name it, every possible event that you could think of and all the people I called was attending some form of them. For 45 minutes I was pacing around the parking lot at Sunway College, exhausting the battery life of my Nokia phone until I finally got fed up, ignited Valerie and headed straight home to Gombak.

The whole family was out, visiting my sister at Shah Alam, so I had the house to myself. I took comfort in the living room, switched on the telly to Arsenal vs Aston Villa, turned up the volume and had a hot steaming pizza from Pizza Hut by my side. Very the bachelor style. It was kind of cool. But it didn’t feel like it. Truth was, I would’ve swapped everything that night for a hot female companion. It was then that I sighed heavily and wished how it would be great to have a girlfriend. At least, if I have a girlfriend, and if it turns out she has some plans with her friends, I could make her feel guilty for leaving me all alone. Then I would sulk, have a bit of a fight, won’t talk for a few hours, apologize and have make-up sex the following day. Awesome.

But this is not Faizad’s Fantasy World. This is reality. And in reality, Faizad does not have any girlfriends and there are times when everybody has a plan except for Faizad. Are you feeling sorry for me? Well don’t. I have enough pity for one day. I’m more annoyed right now. Want to blame somebody? Blame it on swine fluuuuuuuuu!!!

Anyway, back to topic at hand, my high hopes of getting laid on that Saturday night just ended at that – high hopes.

Sunday. What is there to tell about Sunday? I woke up ridiculously early for Sundays to drive across Klang Valley for 45 minutes to hear someone talk about the Malaysian Taxation system. While most of the population were chillin’ at home, I was learning about Capital Allowance and Qualifying Plant Expenditure all the way until evening.

As class ended and the afternoon heat subsided, I thought, well, yesterday was a mistake because when I called those people it was already the time when people already made their plans for the night and for me to come bursting through asking them to change it for my sake just, well, not right. Bad timing, if you’d call it. But this time, aha! This time I’m way ahead. It’s evening and it’s the right time to coax people to make plans with me. Besides, people don’t do much on Sunday nights. A simple drink would be enough to make my day and I know that isn’t much to ask for. So guess who was the first person I called? I give you a hint. Her name starts with the letter N. Haha, since my voice was pretty much ‘okay’, I say, why not? So I called Nosferatu, hoping for, well, anything.

But the bad signs were already there even at the beginning. I straight away got her voice mail, meaning she has her phone turned off, meaning she could be in a cinema, meaning she is already out having a good time, meaning I might as well forget it about seeing her today. Though I did try again half an hour later, it was the same outcome and further reinforced my theory. But in that half hour, I tried my luck with other people. Guess the second person I called? My muse, of course! But I was 30 minutes too late. She was already on the road driving and had her nieces in the back seat, tormenting her, as usual. Another one struck out. Then I called Aritha. She has a wedding to attend to that night. Sod. But we did manage a little chat and established that Solar flowers is another name for Sunflowers. I called Jes but she didn’t pick up. Then I remembered someone whom I haven’t spoken to in a long time – Aida. Ha tgk! Aku letak name kau ni, Aida! Anyway, Aida is probably one of those people that I click whenever I talk to her. Though I still couldn’t believe she’s a fan of my blog after all this while. In her words, she described my blog as “bes gile!”. It’s good to know that I have a growing fanbase. Also, she’s trustworthy enough not to tell Ara about my perversive thoughts I have written in this blog about her former roommate. Yes, indiscretion is key in blogging. So we got talking for quite some time and even when Jes returned my call I couldn’t answer because Aida and me were, well, sort of gossiping. I know, I didn’t think that I even had the ability but we did gossip. It was weirdly fun. We talked until my phone went dead. But alas, she too already has plans for the evening. Too bad, eh, mate? I returned Jes’ missed call but she told me to call back in 10 minutes because she was in a hurry to go out. Well, kind of defeats the purpose, ain’t it?

When I finally landed on the sofa, I was tired. Tired from classes and tired from calling people to ask for a cap.
“Man, I wish I have a girlfriend”
Then was probably time we have that make-up sex. And afterwards Nosferatu would lie naked next to me looking as beautiful as ever. Did I say Nosferatu? I mean, it could be just about anybody, right? Figuratively speaking. Err, moving on!

So, the way I see it to overcome this momentous amount of grievance is to blog about it. Haha, that’s not really the plan. I would’ve blog something anyway. I see this as a signal to further expand my social circle. Starting off with some of the people that I haven’t been in touch with for a long time. I know this isn’t really ‘expanding’ but more like ‘rebuilding bridges’. Anyway, like Aina, for instance. That should be an interesting prospect. Weird thing though. I’ve always enjoyed talking to these people, yet somewhere along the way I stopped calling them. I even called Regina that Saturday. I know Gambit would probably give me that wtf? look but truth is, I enjoy the conversations I have with her. Though she does have a tendency to be melodramatic when talking about the Korean movies she saw. The list would include you too, Aida. We are going to get together and talk about your single CBN friends.

Anyhow, thinking back, in the event I actually manage to secure a girlfriend, love of my life, my sunshine, puchini, whatever, question is, would that be something that I want? I mean, a man in a relationship? Would that make me a better or worse person? I’m contemplating this because I do know people who, once in a relationship, they tend to drift away from their friends. They made their partner their center of their world. Even in my current hectic lifestyle, I already am meeting less of my mates. I certainly don’t want to further distance myself away. Because it doesn’t feel nice. Even if my girlfriend turns out to be Diana Danielle even. Bold statement, I must say, even by my own standards. Point being, despite my desperate calls for a female companion, I think I still pretty much enjoy being single. As the saying goes, if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it. Yes, last weekend was horrible but it could just be a stutter. There are certainly a lot more weekends to look forward to. I mean, what is it with having a girlfriend anyway? What it’s all about? (Jude Law, Alfie)

Friday, August 18, 2006


Is it true that some things are better left unsaid? Or there is a right time and place for everything? But what if that moment never arrives? Or what was said was uttered too late? Which then resulted in doing more harm than good? And make no mistake these are instances which are cannot be taken back or reversed. Once said, it’s sealed and will adjudicate a new course in your life. As one of the more popular saying goes, you have everything to gain but also everything to lose. Or as Michael Keaton once put it, “My life is complex”. Man, I’m beginning to sound like Ity.

Anyway, to more pressing matters – the haze. A little advice from health experts - less outdoors, more indoors. Less jogging, more TV. Less sex in public toilets, more in the bedroom.

Now that’s cleared, let’s move on to more urgent stuff – Najua.

After a prolonged period I think I have finally conjured enough strength to retackle this problem. Wait, problem? How can I say Najua is a problem? She’s not a problem. She’s, well, let’s just say a conundrum. No, even that is too long of a word. Anyway, doesn’t matter, point of fact is Najua is too much of a golden opportunity to be dismissed based on just one solitary date. Problem is though, and this is an actual problem, is while I’m feeling well psychologically, I’m physically unfit. I took Monday and Tuesday off this week because I was diagnosed with a viral fever. My first MC in 3 months. I’m still not completely cured yet even today. Quite a tough virus if you ask me. So, being unwell isn’t a probable option when you want to attempt that important 2nd date. As if I can’t give enough thought about it, anyway. You know, for a guy who’s interested in Najua, I’m doing a very terrible job at it. I haven’t called her since Ampwalk. When was that? Nearly two weeks? Or neither have she. Not that it’s important for her. She has Paul, for God’s sake. Oh yeah, now I remember why I decided against calling her last Saturday. She was probably with Paul. Last thing I needed was to hear what Paul did during the day. Or what he bought or didn’t buy for his apartment. Why can’t she have a girl friend who she hangs out with every weekend like any other normal single girl does? Where’s Sandra? Sandra! You’re not doing your job! I’d prefer Sandra over Paul any time of the day. For one, she’s a lot less intimidating. But sooner or later, if things should work out between Najua and me, I have to accept Paul’s presence one way or another in our future liaisons. Since she’s comfortable with him, she would expect the same from me should I want things to work out with her. Like the case with Siti Nabilah and her troupe. Now that would have been very difficult. Good God, Najua is like Mary. Remember that cripple guy who was Mary’s voice of reason? Paul is kind of like that. Only in that movie the guy just turned out to be another in a long list of her admirers. I don’t think Paul would go that far. That would just be disturbing. Wait a minute, aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves here? Should things work out between…? Let’s get back to reality here. Mic check!

I haven’t called her in a long time, which is not good. I still have a sore throat, which makes me sound like Farah Fawcett doing a bad imitation of Cookie Monster when I speak, which is also not good. The phone call, I imagine would be quite the disaster. Oh God, I’m speculating again. It’s just like last time. Nothing is certain until I make that phone call. It can be so nerve-wrecking dialing her number. But, at least it’ll be nice to hear her voice again.

I think I’ve figured out why I’m like this today. Because it’s Friday. I used to relish Fridays. Not anymore. Lately, Fridays are just like any other day of the week for me. With the slight exception that I can get up a bit late tomorrow. Then it’s back to Sunway and my whole week starts all over again. You’ve guessed it. My week ends at Friday evening and starts at Saturday afternoon. I no longer have weekend breaks. More like intervals. That’s why I’m now more pressurized to come up with something worthwhile to do on Fridays to make my so-called weekends at least feel justified. Another date with Najua would certainly fall into that category.

One reprieve though, the new EPL season kicks-off this weekend. Yes, Chelsea lost the Charity Shield and yes, Liverpool were the better team. Still, it’s a long season ahead and once we hit our stride, try to knock us down then.

So, task of the day – call Najua. Or not. I hope I can regain my voice by then. If not, there’s ….oh yeah, there’s always her. Well, I can’t tell you who she is. Every story needs a bit of mystery, don’t you think? Why do you think people keep coming back to this blog?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Night of Pleasure

I finally got my wish last Friday. I had spent the night at The Ascott. And it wasn’t on the sofa.

It was on the bed, with three (or was it four?) other beautiful women. It’s one of the perks of having gorgeous women as your friends. You get to sleep with them occasionally.

It all started out as a birthday party for Jes, who actually celebrated her birthday on the 27th of July. It was held at non-other than her own apartment. Talk about convenient. It was fun, naturally. Lots of fried chicken, cakes and fake booze. It went as every Friday night should be spent. Alive, enjoyable, long into, ‘till morning.

My plan, initially, was to have a good time, leave around midnight, wake up early the next day, have a short revision on Business Taxation and go for the ACCA Progress Test 1 which was to be held that evening. But, things turned out rather lovingly different. I’ve always had this knack of being one of the last people to leave a party and this was no different. I stayed back after most of the people had left and watched the Chelsea vs Celtic friendly up until half time in the living room. It was probably around 12.30 am at the time and I was ready to bid adieu because there was no denying I was getting sleepy. I walked into Jes’ bedroom where the rest of the ladies were for hugs and kisses when suddenly I got a telling invite to lay down on the bed for a while. The rest, as they say, is history. I never got up until the sun was shining at 8 the next day. It was probably one of the best sleepovers I ever had in a long time.

Not only did I skip my supposed revision time, I also quite purposely missed the IAFG football semis against KPMG (Deloitte won 4-0, by the way). It did cross my mind to go and watch because the Stadium Raja Muda isn’t that far from The Ascott. But, then again, watch a football match or lingering around in a cozy apartment with four women in their sleeping attires? Ooh, choices…choices. There are a few instances when something supersedes any matter of football. This was one of them. Besides, it also gave me the chance to spend more time with Aritha. Oh yes, the maiden from Chennai. Just looking at her and hear her laugh again just brings back a sense of familiarity that I have so longed. Her presence alone brings a smile to my face. Yes, some may argue that 3 months may not be that long. That is, if only you’re not counting every minute that passes you by.

Yet, all good things have to come to an end, I’m afraid. I finally left around noon just for the sake of Sunway. You think I’d leave if I had a choice otherwise? I wouldn’t hesitate to stay even for a second. But I guess one wonderful night was more that I could have hoped for. Reminds me of that weekend in Kuantan. Oh that was a glorious one. That was two nights. And we even had Ity. Haih, good times. Good times.

You see, sometimes good guys do get a break. And there are times when guys like me who get really, really lucky.

p/s: Jes, please invite me over for more sleepovers. Please?

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Okay. Here we go.

(clears throat)


She', no.

The thing is....

Well, it's...

Ah forget it.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Recap for the Week

On Monday Eiwa agreed on principal to have a drink with me (albeit she insisted on having Nebu joining us as well) but she cancelled just when I was on my way to KLCC because there’s a sudden sending-off party for one of the supervisors and the whole department was invited. And, of course, who am I to stop her? Well, better luck next time, muchacho.

But Tuesday was good though. In fact, it was very good. It was one of those days when before retiring to bed, you can look back to the day and say with a smile, ‘That was a day well spent,’

It all started with me having nothing much to do at the office. And things turned better when I was assigned to be the despatch boy for the day. I love despatching. Mainly it involves going to client’s places to deliver and/or retrieve documents. Why I love it is because I get to jalan-jalan, waste loads of time while doing so and I get to claim the mileage.

Furthermore, I was to end early that day because IAFG (Inter-Accounting Firms Games) 2006 was already underway and football was on the agenda. All staff who were deemed surplus to requirements for the day are required to attend the match, which was held at SM Jalan Cochrane, and cheer on the team. I was reluctant to go at first because I had this Starlight thing arranged with my muse later that evening and I have to be at Sentul Park before 7 (and you know how the traffic is along Jalan Tun Razak during the evening rush hour). But in the end I thought I should be able to make it. Besides it’s football. How can I miss that? So I went. And it was a journey worthwhile. Deloitte trounced its opposition 8-0. In any game of football, no matter who your opponents are, 8-0 is always a good result. Luckily for me, the game is 25-minutes per half. So the match ended slightly after 5. I should have gotten a head start but I thought I hang for a while for the post-match celebrations.

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Hey, look that's me! (The supporters bench)

It was 5.30 before I finally made my move and even though I (and Sasa included) had a bit of trouble trying to get onto Jln Ipoh, we did manage to arrive before 7. We traveled separately, by the way. And as for Sentul Park, wow, it’s still as amazing as the last time I remember it. Perhaps even better this time.

Starlight Cinema, I think, has made a wise choice opting to move from Bukit Kiara to Sentul Park because when I was at Kiara, I always couldn’t help but think this is probably where the horses went running around and poo occasionally. You always have that discomforting feeling. Call it paranoia even. But at Sentul, you know that even humans had rarely set foot there before you came. So it has that au naturel feel to it. That was quite liberating. I, for one, enjoyed the experience tremendously. The trees are beautiful, the green hills are beautiful, the air moist and the surrounding silent. The only thing missing are squirrels running around.

As for the movie, it was Click. And I was surprised because I was expecting a clich├ęd storyline but it somehow managed to keep it interesting throughout. It’s more towards Spanglish rather than Longest Yard. Not as good or dramatic as Spanglish and not as funny as Longest Yard. Just between those two. But it was a quite apt choice for a movie under the stars. Wait a minute, there were no stars that night. Ah forget it. But one poor aspect of Starlight Cinema is the choice of food. There’s only one food outlet in the whole premise and it created a backlog of customers. The only people who are happy with that are probably the owners of the place who can exercise monopoly. And there’s little place next to it selling Twisties. So if you’re thinking, ‘Let’s just buy our food there,’ then don’t you’ll only end up disappointed because it’s just not worth the effort of lining up half-an-hour for a burgers and fries. Just like Sasa and me. In the end we just had Twisties and I stopped by at Burger King on the way home. Everything else was just fine.

It’s my mother’s birthday on the 10th and my brother has arranged for a big family dinner at Rahsia tonight. So that’s something to look forward to.

Sebagai penutup, I’ll put another picture of me as a supporter of the Deloitte football team when I attended the match against Ernst & Young yesterday at Stadium Jalan Raja Muda. Oh we won by the way. 2-0. And they were the defending champions.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My Hot Stylist and Me

Do you know that getting a haircut could be such an erotic experience? That is, if you have the right place and the right stylist. And that would rule out your local Indian barbershop.

It is that time of month again when I go visit my new happy place – Jantzen, Mid Valley. You’d probably remember a month ago I story-story about it a little when I said I went for a haircut and then I met Hadi and Ewok at McD,and yada, yada, yada. Anyway, what I didn’t tell you was that when I went for my haircut afterwards, I was fated to meet the hottest hairstylist I’ve ever known.

Usually, when the girl at the counter asks me, ‘Any particular stylist?’, I will answer, every time without fail, ‘Anyone will do,’. But not anymore. Now, my answer to that question will be a shorter, simpler version. One word, one name – Abby.

Abby is hot, for one thing but with her being a hairstylist, she has this funky, Avril Lavigne-esque vibe about her. Which just increases her hotness rating. And what’s more, she smells great. Kinda like baby shampoo. Makes you wanna cuddle her to bed.

But what I like most about my hot new hairstylist is that she has this delicate touch. Unlike the lady who washed my hair. That one almost tore my scalp off. But Abby, she caresses my head. And when her finger slid across my forehead, it felt so soothing and tingling. Also, she has this thing where she moves about in very close proximity with her customers when she’s doing her job. So I get a lot of brushes from her hip, from now and then. And did I tell you she smells great?

But the cherry on top was when she massaged my head near the end. It felt so good I almost moaned her name out loud. Of course, when it (the haircut) finally finished, I felt sad about leaving. My wish at the time was that if only my hair would grow fast enough so that I can have a haircut every week. And as if to cheer me up, after paying for her services, she said, ‘I’ll see you next month,’ with a smile so mischievous and naughty only Nicole Kidman can pull. I mean, like, wow. I’ve only been with her twice and she already recognizes me and knows my routine. I felt so happy.

Haih, I’m having an affair with my hairstylist. I mean, I only know her first name, she doesn’t know mine. We meet once a month, have an hour to ourselves and go our separate ways. The next month, we do it all over again. I mean, what? It’s only about the haircut.