Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Dilemma of Saturday Nights

Tomorrow is Saturday. Wait a minute, it already is. Anyway, later later on, Saturday night will hit us and I had a very forgettable one last weekend. Consequently, that has made me, er I don’t know, menggatal, I think, for decent night out with a girl. Problem is, choices are quite limited currently. One’s in London, one has already other plans for a concert and one is still recovering from a shocking news she received earlier to…yesterday. One’s in JB and another in Seremban. One is too busy with work and the other is stuck to her boyfriend like glue. The rest are either also busy with their respective boyfriends (or in the quest of finding one) or just turned dull as of late. What’s left are the ones which I haven’t given a call since late last year. Asking for a night out just out of the blue would almost be the equivalent of a bootie call. Haih, it seems that I have to venture out for a fresh one. Not easy you know. Maybe I could get lucky. Who knows?
I know I’m missing some names here but just couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Hopefully she doesn’t have any wedding plans anytime soon. Or baby showers for that matter.


How many times have you walked out of the men’s room and saw a man waiting for his girl at the entrance with her handbag slung over his shoulder while trying his best to look ultimately cool? More than a couple of times, I’m sure. And every time I come across this scenario I could not help but let out a little snicker. Seriously, girls, making your male spouse to hold your handbag in public is one of the most embarrassing stuff you can do to him. Like the other day. It was at KFC, the two girls in front were carrying the tray to the table while the bloke behind, with all that grungy Nirvana Kurt Cobain look, has a substantially large pink handbag clutched in his right fist. See, it doesn’t matter if you look like Dirty Harry, if you carrying a female handbag, you’d still look like a sissy.

This handbag thing, is an ongoing joke you see. Well, at least among the guys that is. Girls will always find the time and reason to make the man ‘be a darlin’ and hold her bag for awhile. And men could rarely say no because they would be automatically be accused of being un-gentleman like if they do. That or the awkward silence during the drive back home. And you will notice the moment he’s in possession of the handbag, the Gaya Mutu Keunggulan pose will come out. Cewah, look at me. Holding handbag also I can still look macho what. Problem is, every guy, including the one holding the handbag, knows that that’s bullshit. If you’re with a handbag, you’ll look like a sissy. He knows it, I know it, the rest of the guys in the shopping mall know it. That is why, the dude with the handbag will never look another man in the eye during this machismo pose. Especially to strangers. Because with friends you can still give out lame excuses despite the fact that you just made them up a few minutes ago but still those things could lead out to a few good laughs. Like with Gambino a couple of weeks back.

His girl, Mawar threw a little BBQ Birthday party for herself and invited a few people over. She had to play the hostess and assistant cook at the same time so guess who got the job of ‘please hold on to my bag while I go running around the place’? The boyfriend, of course. I made fun of him the moment I saw him at the main gate. He could only look down and go ‘yeah, yeah’. Act of love, ha! And you should see his reaction every time Mawar took back her handbag away. He was smiling and mimicking this shoulder exercise as a sign of relief. And every time the handbag returns to him, so does the disappointed look.

You’re probably thinking that because I don’t have a girlfriend then I have yet to be in this demoralizing situation and hence, on the receiving end of these banters. Well, I’m here to tell you how wrong you are. A few weeks back, PD, with Zalina, Sasa, Sarah, Apau, Fifi and Daia. It was night, we were bored, decided to have a little drive around town (so to speak). We all packed into Sarah’s Accent RXS (I know, couldn’t believe it myself) and had a brief stop at a moderately large grocery store (Pasaraya PD is the name if you had to know). And since Sarah was the one doing the driving and I had the smallest bum, I get to become the co-pilot and sat beside the driver. As a bonus I get to hold on to Sarah’s handbag. Oh joy. Well, at least it’s just in the car. She will take it the minute we get out. Or so I hoped. But after parking the car and I somehow decided to be a little “gentleman-ly”, I stepped out of the car with her handbag and presuming that I’ll be handing it to her just before we cross the street. Boleh la die buat sombrono je. I was left holding her handbag, which is in bright gold, if I may add, and crossing the street and into the store. Can you imagine a fat guy in T-shirt and khaki shorts walking around with a bright gold handbag slung over his right arm at night in PD? It was the most painful view. And this happened not once but twice when we had our next stop at 7-11.

So, girls, do realize that it really is embarrassing for you to make your man hold your bag. Especially during shopping. Unless, of course, that is your intention. As for the guys, haha~! Lame ass punks. Gentleman my ass la wey.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


I can’t remember exactly who it was but one of my teachers at secondary school told me during one of those ‘Life Lessons of the Day’ sessions that a lady’s beauty lies with her hands. I’ve always thought that the eyes are the most beautiful part but since I have trouble looking into a mesmerizing pair of eyes and focusing on the conversation at hand at the same time, I figure, looking at the hands sounds like a good alternative. So over a while now, it turned into a trained habit of mine. Only earlier today I was talking to this adorable girl, well, actually, she was the one doing all the talking and I was just listening. Half-listening anyway because I was too busy admiring her hands. She was writing down notes and I thought, my how graceful the way her hands move. They look so soft and delicate. Well, as the elderly would tell you, if a lady has beautiful hands, then it just goes to show how well she can look after herself. And if you think the hands are beautiful, wait till you see the other parts of… well, you know what I mean. She was about to tell me her plans for lunch when I looked up to meet her gaze. She has beautiful eyes. Warm, mysterious and glistening. I, of course, could only hold it for a split second. Then out of the blue she raises her hand and jokingly reported to the trainer that I had purposely hit her with a rolled up piece of paper for no apparent reason. Which I did, afterwards, just as she provided me the reason to do so.

That is Kat. My most dysfunctional partnership in class ever. But I do love her company.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Return to the Ascott

It has been quite a while. Probably close to a month but I finally made a return… to Jes’ Ascott!! Man, I was so happy. It felt like a homecoming. And this time I checked-out the pool area and it is da’ bomb! It’s on the 22nd floor and located on an open-air plateau. Breathtaking is one way to describe it. You have the serenity, the perched-up breeze and an awesome 180 degree view of the city. Then you have the Jacuzzi and it’s placed right at the edge of the building. So you’d be like chillin’ there and overlooking Jalan Sultan Ismail, having a chilled drink and bubbles would be rising up from underneath your arse. You could almost imagine yourself being Richard Branson entertaining Mariah Carey. It was then and there that I decided that the next time I’ll be there, I’d bring my shorts, and bask under the sun, preferably with Jes.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Hot Chicks on a Monday

How often can you say that you had an awesome Monday? Almost never. Excluding when the Mondays are public holidays. Well, I had one today. An awesome Monday. The sole reason being, for the whole day, from morning ‘til night, I have been blessed with constant viewing of hot women. Particularly hot women wearing knee-length skirts. God, how I love those.

In the morning, my hot Punjabi BITS classmate decided for the first time ever to come to class today wearing a skirt. And damn, I tell you she got some beautiful legs. Then, in the afternoon when I went to Damansara Uptown to attend my interview at Deloitte, hot women were literally everywhere. No big surprise, right? But the best bit of all when my interviewer for the day was one hot chick. She may be the Senior Manager of Human Resource but damn, man, she’s sooo HOT! She wore this black suit with the short skirt and all and she has this long black hair, a fair complexion which made her red luscious lips looked so tantalizing it almost tasted like raspberry. I actually stuttered at the beginning because I couldn’t concentrate because of this overwhelming aura she was emitting I tell you, she is one lady boss that I would definitely wouldn’t mind working for.

Then I went to have a late lunch at Chili’s 1 Utama while catching up with a bit of my studies for the ACCA Progress Test later that evening when a group of hot ladies walked in while I was stuffing myself. Then, a few moments later, one of them had to take a call and as she strode past my table to go outside, her thighs and the way she walked vividly reminded me of Beyonce. She could be the sizzling steak for all I care.

Then when I was about to leave PAAC later that night after completing my progress test, my eye caught another student in the hallway and damn, y’all, she too hot. She was reading something on the notice board and I thought, damn, she’s Sazzy, Fasha and Natasha Hudson all rolled into one. It almost made me fell sorry to go back home. I actually had second thoughts you know but my legs were already killing me.

Then just a while ago, I was at Lotus, chilling out with the guys and guess what? There were still a few hot chicks loitering around. A nice ending to a what was supposed to be a soul wrenching opening to the week.