Sushi

This happened last Friday. Since we (the Deloitte audit team) were working so hard (to their standards), the client decided to treat us to lunch. Of course we agreed-lah kan? I was so excited because for one, I could save a few bucks from not having to buy my own lunch and two, if a client wants to treat you out for some dining, it is usually something fancy. But my high hopes were sent crashing to the ground the moment Mr. Chang, the company’s accountant, started saying, “We’ll go for something healthy,” Uh-oh. Even from my not so spectacular culinary experiences, I know for a fact that anything ‘healthy’ never tastes good. “I think we’ll go for sushi,” he added. Oh bloody fuckin’ hell! Sushi? That’s gonna be my treat of the day? Oh come on! Just fuckin-tastic. It’s not that I have anything against sushi but I just don’t get the concept. Sushi doesn’t appeal to me. I’d like to think myself more of a carnivore. A meat-eater. Gimme some steaks and roasted lambs and I’ll never say no. You see, this is what you get when the man treating you for lunch has the body physique of Peter Crouch. Healthy food and sushi. Pfft! You think if someone like, say Diego Maradona, was the one in charge, would he suggest something docile like sushi? No. He’d take you out for roast chickens and barbequed ribs with excessive sauce. There’d be music and some sexy senoritas would be jiggling their hips at the side of the table. And Diego would have some illegal Cuban cigars courtesy of his friend Fidel at the side. Now that would have been some party. But back to reality….

So there I was at the table, feeling as awkward as one could be, reading the menu but having no idea what to order. I scanned everything looking for something that I’m most unlikely to throw up within 15 minutes of attempted digestion. Luckily, Sushi King does serve chicken. When in moment of doubt, always go for the chicken – it’s the safest bet. I ordered something called Piri-piri Chicken. I don’t know what ‘piri-piri’ means but from the visual aid it looks edible enough for me.

When my meal arrived I finally understood why Mr. Chang calls it a healthy meal. I got the piri-piri chicken (I presume), a bowl of miso soup, some steamed rice, some peas and cube carrots, a small bowl of egg custard and a mini bottle of cultured milk. And I was thinking, man, I bet a single roti canai could offer a whole lot of calories than this entire meal I just ordered.

The chicken was nice enough (whew!), complements rather well with the rice and mixed vegetables (but seriously, it felt like eating dinner at home. I mean, what’s the point of eating out anyway if you can get exactly what you normally get at home? Aye-aye) but everything went downhill after that. I never tried miso soup before but after this I’d probably never try it again. It just tastes terrible. It tasted like sweetened rust particles. And the egg custard? Oh goodness gracious. I would have thought that despite all, the egg custard would make the most sense. I mean, how could you possible screw egg custard? But they did. From what I perceive as a simple and modest recipe, they somehow managed to foul it all up. It was bland, tasteless and dry. It doesn’t look or felt dry but just tasted so. I just ate a spoonful. Swallowing it with much agony. The only reprieve is the small bottle of milk. In the end I just felt relieved I had my Vitagen like drink and sucking on the straw like a six year old.

What a terrible experience. Funny thing was, I felt full. Not full-full but just right full. Incidentally, I wasn’t sleepy like I usually am in the office afterwards after a heavy lunch. I guess there is some sense in taking healthy food. But truthfully though, my taste buds were never actually satisfied. That sushi thing just made my appetite for a hot steaming pizza grew even more.

Sushi King
Service: 3/5
Ambience: 3/5
Food: I'd rather eat sand
Reason to return: I would kill the next person who even suggest the name Sushi King again to me. Seriously.

P/S: This is a biased opinion. However, to all sushi lovers, your criticisms will be duly ignored and very unlikely to change the author's views on sushis. So sod off! Arigato kuzaimas.