Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya! Yes, I know it’s already a bit late but things got in the way before I could do a proper posting about Raya (part of it is laziness and part of it my sister hogging the computer) but here I am at last! And how was your Raya? Good? Bad? Disastrous? As for me, well, I still get my share of duit raya. Say what? I know, conceptually, it’s wrong and quite embarrassing considering a man of my age but hey, when people voluntarily give you money, who am I to say no? It wasn’t much but, still, extra income is never bad.

Now, for the Raya stories. You know how people will always tell you pretty much the same story when telling about their Raya holidays? It’s sort of a template. The balik kampungs, the food and the distant relatives they haven’t seen since the last Raya, that sort of stuff. Well, I went to Rantau Panjang on the 2nd day of Raya. It’s not as vulgar as going clubbing on the first night of Raya but still something different ey? Some of you might be surprised by this but actually, there are quite some people doing the same thing. Years ago I made a vow to myself never to return there again as I had a terrible time. It was proven to me how far can a kid suffer from boredom, tiredness, thirst and of course, heat exhaustion. But, years later and I was rather curious for a revisit to see how the place has evolved and maybe, just maybe, get what all other people love about the place. Plus, I should have a physically higher tolerance level by now so a little heat could trouble me less now compared to years ago. And you know what discovered over there? It was the same ol’ shit hole. I still ended up bored, tired, hot and incredible thirsty. Seriously I don’t know what the appeal is anyway. Unless you want to go crazy on kitchenware and poor quality clothes and replica jerseys, I see no point of going there. It was hot, dusty, no parking spaces and not single garbage bin in sight. So, yes, trash was everywhere. How it could have been a shopping haven in the first place defies my logic.

On a different note, I want to talk about TV. I don’t remember what channel or on what day was it on but there was this show where they put Ramli Sarip, Zainal Abidin, Jay Jay and M Nasir together on a stage and they perform acoustically. And they’ll take turns to lead on their individual hits. I thought it was a brilliant show. What baffles me though is why there wasn’t any news on this? Maybe there was but clearly insufficient as I merely caught it by accident. We had no Astro, go figure. Even more so, I thought, should they ever release a DVD version of the show, I would sure as hell would have bought it. I didn’t catch the whole show but I did saw Jay Jay performed Belaian Jiwa and Zainal did Manis. It was a really captivating performance. It was like our version of MTV Unplugged Legends. These are the kind of shows they should be promoting. Why they didn’t is another thing that defied my logic. Instead they chose to accentuate those tacky AF Reunion concerts. Reunion? Has anybody actually missed them for them to have a reunion? How about you already made me sick the first time you showed up on TV? Is that news to you?

Speaking of my Astro-less time at Kelantan, you would not believe how I had spent my nights there. I couldn’t go out because Kota Bharu is practically a maze for me and it isn’t exactly where you can go out and watch a midnight movie or …


Geez, Kak Chaya just startled me just now. She just appeared from nowhere. I didn’t even realize she’s back. Just last Sunday she was flying to Narita. She had to answer a stand-by call. And since my brother was already on his way to Shanghai on a business trip, guess who as handed the privilege to drive a MAS flight attendant to KL Sentral at 8 am on a Sunday morning? Yes, my life can be quirky at times.

Where was I? Oh yes, my fun nights at PCB. Even PCB isn’t what it used to be. It’s suffering from erosion and the authorities have built a stone wall to stop its continuation. It looks more like Gurney Drive now rather than a decent beach. But without the Starbuckses and hotels. Anyway, basically I stayed at home and watch TV during those Raya nights. And, under the circumstances, I had little choice other than to watch the likes of Nana Tanjung, Bujang Senang and Remp-It. Please, I know, I myself could not bear the humiliation. It was either that or bed at 9 pm. It was torture, I tell you. But one thing I learnt from watching Nana Tanjung and Bujang Senang is there’s nothing wrong with the storyline. It’s the execution that made it all embarrassing. They could really use without the silly slapstick sound effects every time not even a half funny line comes out. And you could not help but feel that Saiful Apek was made to carry the whole movie on his shoulders. He was practically in every scene. Without him, those movies would have definitely collapsed. And the orang utara jokes are really getting tiresome. But you know what? Razak Mohaideen will continue making these kinds of movies and Saiful Apek will continue to headline them because they are a commercial success. Even his latest, Otai, as news would have it, already grossed RM3 million at the box office. Who could blame them? In the end, it’s all about making profits. And in that sense, they are doing just fine. And it should not surprise you that Nana Tanjung 2 is already in the pipeline. Personally it disgusts me as I find these movies utterly distasteful and downright degrading. Thank god there is something like 1957: Hati Malaya for me to look forward to. That I would happily pay good money for. And not to forget Afdlin’s Los & Faun. There is still hope for the local film industry.

As for Remp-It, well, let’s just say it was entirely pointless. All it did was glorifying illegal motorcycle races. The bane of society. And they just killed the lead actor at the end just to get the movie approved. They tried to make mat rempits look so cool for more than an hour and in the last 5 minutes they say, ‘oh, by the way, you could die doing this’. Well, it wasn’t enough. They could at least show him getting trampled under an 18 wheeler rather than mere knock on a concrete divider. A scratch and a bloody nose? Oh yeah, that’s deter the youths, sure. C’mon! I saw the looks on my cousins faces during all those stunt scenes and I just hope to God they don’t feel inspired by it and grow up to be decent human beings and actually having a life.

Talking about mat rempits, while I was at Kelantan one day, driving and I was at a crossroad. The light was red and I was in front of the line, and I was sensing something was out of place. It took me a while to realize but I looked around and saw a pack of motorcyclist in front of me and none of them was jumping the red light. It was a miracle! Even when the road was clear. It was such a nice feeling. I lived in KL for too long that I have gotten used to seeing motorcyclists treating traffic lights like decorative ornaments that is was so pleasing to come across such a scene. Of course, what they excel in obeying the red light rule, the lack the discipline to wear safety helmets. 7 out 10 riders I came across would have nothing on their head. Probably figuratively too. And they were speeding, naturally. Well, you can’t win them all.

The drive back to KL was hell. Single lane road suck so much. It gives power to the road hoggers. Unless you’re between Gua Musang and Kuala Lipis, you could go as fast as the car in front of you. If he or she decides to maintain 60 km\h for the next 40 km, there’s nothing much you can do because the opposing traffic is just as busy and the road are as twisted as Bush’s administrative policy. It is my dream to see a decent highway built to connect KL to Kelantan. But I do wish they could do something about the current Lebuhraya Pantai Timur. It’s bumpy as hell. I felt it firsthand when I went to Aritha’s wedding. And it’s bad considering the more you speed up, the bumpier it gets. If I’m not mistaken, I saw an ad on TV promoting the highway, and in the final scene, there was 4x4 in the background going up and down as it was travelling. It’s funny and sad at the same time. Will we ever learn?

I guess that’s enough ranting for one day. I won’t be here tomorrow as I’ll be following my mother on her business trip to PD and then Cameron Highlands. I know. It seems I have to break that promise of writing something every day again. Cheers then.