Lucky SOB

I’ve read somewhere that the hallmark of every great writer is that he or she would write something every single day, regardless whether it’s shite or not. So this is me writing something which I’m pretty sure is going to be shitty. But if my experience has anything to go by, you people would still read it and love it as long it is me who wrote it. Kind of like BMW and the 1 Series.

Believe or not I am going to talk about Justin Timberlake today. Yes, surprised, are we? Well let me just get one thing clear. It is not that enjoy doing this or I secretly sing Sexy Back in the shower like Ridhu does but because I have some beef with him. Translation: He just annoys the fuck out of me.

He was already annoying back then being a teeny bopper and all, jumping around with that curly hair of his, while girls screaming his name. Well, they still do, but, now, he somehow managed to take it up another level. I’m referring, of course, not about his music because this is not an MTV blog, but more to his conquests. Seriously, folks, here at It’s A Guy Thing, do we ever deviate far from the topic of women?

So, here it is. Justin Timberlake has become the ladies man that most of us guys wish we could be. I’m not kidding. And that what really bugs me. I want to be in Justin Timberlake’s shoes! How can I NOT be annoyed with myself in making that kind of statement!?

Before you laugh let’s just take a look at his resume, aight? He may went out with some other chicks in between, I don’t know, but I do know that when almost every teenage boys were drooling about her, guess who gets to bang Britney Spears? That’s right, it was Justin Timberlake. And it wasn’t much of a coincidence that by the time they broke up, Britney’s popularity began to wane down. It wasn’t obvious at first but believe me, it was starting to go downhill (the I’m a Slave 4U video, anyone?). With that he moved to the next IT girl of Hollywood – Cameron Diaz. She’s Princess Fiona and the hottest Angel among the three and guess what? Justin got to her too. And now they’ve broken up, one could not help to think that, oh, you know what? Cameron is no longer the one hot piece of ass she used to be. She’s not really away yet but would it surprise you that she’s already on her way? She’s #23 on FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006. I don’t think she’ll fare any better in 2007.

So, who’s Justin banging now? The beautifully sculpted Jessica Biel (if you’ve seen her underwear scene in I Now Pronounce Chuck and Larry, you’ll know what I mean). Y’know I’d never guessed someone like Biel would fall for someone like him. I mean, you have the pop princess. Then the Angel who likes to shake her “booty” in her underwear and you have Biel who plays a slick fighter pilot in Stealth and a vampire bounty hunter in Blade Trinity (albeit she looks incredibly amazing in both those roles) and you think, this is one tough chick. Seriously, a pop singer who does percussion with his mouth certainly doesn’t seem like a likely candidate that would able to lure such a creature in. And yet…

So, recap, how many guys you know who could say ‘I have scored Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel in one lifetime?’ Could you see now why I hate this guy so much? Oh, might I add, for his What Goes Around video, he also get to make out with Scarlett Johansson…in the pool! Fuck!

Man, like, forget about Leonardo Di Caprio, Johnny Depp or even Patrick Dempsey, as far as I know, Justin Timberlake is the luckiest sonofabitch in the entertainment industry. And for that, I really despise you, Justin.