Incompetence

Here’s a pop quiz for you:
What is more lembab than a woman trying to pay her parking ticket at an autopay machine?
The answer?
It’s 3 women trying to pay 2 parking tickets at an autopay machine.

This happened to me at Bangsar Village yesterday. You would not believe the unnecessary drama that unfolded before my eyes. First they can’t find their tickets, and then they tried to pay with the new RM5 note which the machine rejected. So they switch to the RM1 notes but found out they were short of them. Now the search was on for any coins that they have. When the fee was finally paid, the machine refused to spit out the ticket so one of them brilliantly pressed the ‘Cancel’ button and voila, the ticket did come out - along with their refund. So now they have start all over again.

At this point I was ready to shout out ‘You fuckin’ bitches!’ but held back when one of the parking attendants suddenly popped out told the rest of us queuing behind the three wannabe French poodles that we can pay our parking fees at the exit. Oh what a relief! I left the yelping scene without hesitation. But when I made my way past the parking attendant, who is a lady by the way, she made a whispering remark to me.
‘So slow,’
I just had to crack a smile and gave her an approving ‘Hmm’.

Can you imagine a woman calling another woman ‘slow’? How ironically funny is that? It’s like Victoria Beckham telling you that you can’t sing. And the parking lady was right. They were slow. I mean, how difficult is it to operate an autopay machine? I don’t care about your Gucci handbags and Fendi sunglasses. I have seen a monkey display a higher level of intelligence that all of you three combined.

As to confirm their lembab-ness, when I made my way with Valerie to the exit point, I came across them and they still haven’t reached their cars. Haih, what terrible children they will raise.

You wouldn’t believe how far people would go these days just to be an annoyance to the public. Just like the other day when I was at this petrol station. I was running a bit late to the office but my petrol was running low so I just had to stop for a fill up. All the pumps were full so I decided to pull up behind this motorcyclist, thinking he’d probably be the quickest to finish. And then can you imagine what this motorcyclist did next? He pulled out his wallet and took out his credit card. I couldn’t what I was seeing! It’s not like he was on a Harley. It was just a Honda EX5. He wanted to pay RM3 worth of fuel with a credit card? What the FUCK!? What is wrong with this person!? There is no valid reason why he should be doing this except by being exceptionally stupid. Could someone be that dense? Or does he just enjoy making the living hell out of strangers’ lives? He was lucky he was wearing his helmet. Otherwise I would’ve smacked him on the head with my car jack.

Haih, so please people, the next time you want to categorically divide your change in your compartmentalized purse, move to the side of the counter a bit to make room for the next paying customer. And please, do decide what movie you want to watch before you start lining up. And lastly, please oh please, learn how to operate an autopay machine. You’d do the world a whole lot of favor.

And they give us a hard time about not knowing where the clitoris is. And FYI, I know where it is.