Old Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It (The Birthday Post)

I’m 24! Oh yes, it has been 24 years since that fateful evening at Pantai Hospital.

There’s something significant about being 24 years old. It’s one of those huge leaps like from being 19 to 20, and even that was not so long ago. 23 to 24 is rather similar. At 23 you can assert yourself as a young adult. But at 24, you’re just an adult. A ‘junior’ adult as some may argue but nevertheless the transition is perceivably complete. You would allow a 23 year old Michael Owen to make a few mistakes – a scoffed shot here, a bad game there but not the 24 year old version. At 24, a Michael Owen fan would expect him to hit the back of the net every time he gets the ball in the six yard box. Same is in life. At 24, you can no longer escape the responsibilities when committing mistakes in life. You can no longer blame it on ignorance or innocence. That was 23. 24 is when the community perceives you as an equipped adult. You are ready to hunt on your own and build your own nest. Hell, even I used to perceive them that way when I was a young boy. But now… now, even I, myself am a living proof of disapproving that notion. I am very well aware that I am not yet equipped to face the harsh realities of the world on my own. I think most 20-somethings are these days. Many refer us as spoilt brats. I’m not saying they’re wrong. But I am saying they’re jealous. Because we have this safety net called ‘parents’. For some it comes in the form of a trust fund. That would be the answer on why some young people can afford to drive around in BMWs and travel to Tahiti. It’s not the question of whether they deserve it or not. The money was just there to be spent. Most of us bad-mouth these people because we too want to be part of it. But we can’t. Yes, we have to stay content with our Proton with non-working electric windows and the occasional trip down to the littered beaches and murky waters of Port Dickson.

As a closing statement I would like to stay that I would not be having any birthday parties this year. I’m sorry. As much as I want to be flanked by half-naked ladies singing Happy Birthday to me, that box of hopes and dreams have yet to wait a little longer. There’s always next year though. Damn, I’ll be 25 by then. Nope, not gonna be thinking about that right now. For those who have wished me, I thank you. Ity even sang to me on the phone ala Marilyn Monroe to John F. Kennedy. Just that I get the auditory version rather than the live-in-the-flesh one. For the SMSes, yours are a welcome diversion between Emily Rose’s screaming and running. And there’s even kisses. But again, just auditory and digitized. Appreciated still though. For those who have the kind enough heart to even considering presenting me with a birthday present, please, no more stuffed animals. No matter what color, size or function. It’s getting embarrassing for me to keep them. Instead, you could just get me the latest copy (and not rumpled issue) of Esquire, or better still Maxim. Hard time finding those? Then head towards Actor’s Studio Bangsar and get me tickets for Harith’s show. Haha! Wah sekarang bunyi cam demanding pulak kan. Tak malu. Makan char kuey teow je tau.

Before you ask me why the late posting, I would like to point the finger to Streamyx. 1MB connection 24/7 eh? What a bunch of bull. I’ve been experiencing bad connection for the whole week. Just when I decide to give the welcome call, tetiba elok pulak. Cewah pandai betul. Siap kau lenkali.

As a departing note, I had a strange dream last night. I was among the villagers defending the attack of the killer turtles. I don’t know whether it’s one of those bad ideas for a Hollywood movie or an indication of how twisted my mind is.

Cheers. Arriverderci.

What's Happening?

Encore for Baik Punya Cilok! Yes, I know I said I was going to watch it with Tomok the other day but it was sold out. So I only managed to watch it recently. And it was good. For a Malaysian film I was pleasantly surprised. It was like Snatch but a little bit off-paced. For a comedy of that kind, it has to keep the audience guessing to make it work. But those flashback shots accompanied by amusing narration ala dikir barat style was quite ingenious. That Aben guy really has a few tricks up his sleeves.

I would like to give special recognition to The Notebook. I saw it for the second time last night on HBO and I thought, what a beautiful story. Last time I gave such recognition was for La Vita e Bella (Life Is Beautiful – no pun intended!). Notebook is based on a Nicholas Sparks’ novel of the same name so it wasn’t that surprising on how the storyline was elegantly portrayed. Other Nicholas Sparks’ books turned movies are Message in a Bottle and A Walk To Remember. Though I find the movie versions of Bottle to be soggy and Walk lame. But Notebook certainly hit the right note (pun intended).

Other news, I heard on the radio the other day, unsure whether it was Hitz or Fly, and they have this competition going on in accordance with Valentines Day. Now, that is good and cruel at the same time, depending on how you look at it. Good for those absent minded boyfriends because they get an aptly reminder way beforehand and cruel for those single ones because they too get an aptly reminder way beforehand. We’re just midway through January and here we are already talking about Valentines Day. I know who is most happy with this though – the florists. Ooh those bloodthirsty mongrels. Just because it’s Valentines, they would charge bouquets of flowers three-folds at least for the prices. It’s absurd. Well, men are left with really no choice. Pay the price to the florist or “pay” the price to the missus. It’s a lose-lose situation. Oh do you remember that girl that was featured on the cover of The Star a while back because she received 999 roses from of her boyfriend for her birthday? It cost the dude RM3500. His justification? “Money is not a factor as long as she is happy,” What an idiot. RM3500 can get you a nice Hugo Boss suit or even a Tag Heuer watch. While those roses would only last about two weeks the most, the suit and watch could last a good few years. It’s amazing how a few men can be such suckers for the entrapment of the so-called love.

Harith Iskandar will be returning to stage next month for his But That’s Another Story, Again! It’s unclear whether it’ll be a whole new act, a continuation or just an improvement of the first installment. Later news will follow.

I’ve a new perception regarding the burlesque group, The Pussycat Dolls. But yet, I prefer to reserve my judgment for the time being. There’s still a few grey areas that I need further convincing. Till posted.

Cheers. Au revoir.

Faizad's Book Club

There’s a new Mike Gayle book on sale. It’s called Brand New Friend. Okay, it’s not really new because it was published back in September 2005 but it’s still the latest work from Gayle, who shot to fame with My Legendary Girlfriend (his first published book and one of my personal favorites). He’s British so expect a lot of British humor. Here’s a synopsis from the book’s cover:

Finding friends is hard to do...When thirty-two-year-old Rob Brooks's long term girlfriend asks him to leave London and live with her in Manchester not only will it mean moving cities and changing the only job he's ever had, it'll also mean leaving behind his best mate in the entire world, Phil Clarke. Believing in love conquering all Rob takes the plunge and convinced of his ability to make new friends Rob tries his best to sort out the situation. But when six months in he still finds himself without even so much as a regular drinking buddy he begins to realise that sometimes making friends in your thirties can be the hardest thing to do. With this is mind Rob begins a strategy that though risky has the potential to deliver the one thing he wants: a brand new friend. His strategy? Advertising in a classified ad in a Manchester magazine. After three excruciatingly embarrassing "bloke dates" Rob begins to despair. But then his luck changes. He finds himself a brand new friend. But there's a problem. Apart from knowing less than nothing about music trivia, football and supermodels vital statistics Rob's new friend has one huge flaw. She's a girl.

Yes, your new best mate is a girl. It’s every man’s dream and also nightmare. It’s exciting and yet disturbing. It’s the idea that we men are not willing to explore but we do love to linger upon the subject. One of the most subdued and interesting topics of ‘What if?’ in the world of men. So, when a writer like Mike Gayle came up with a whole book detailing all the possibilities, it certainly does pose a fascinating intrigue. So, if you’re a man looking to do something different with your mind in between those testosterone fuelled activities, pick this one up. You’ll enjoy it. And if you have a woman, better still, because she will be impressed. She will see that behind that manly beast, who’s always raving about sex, is a sensitive and sophisticated human being. That should get her into bed rather easily.

State of Fear by Michael Crichton. My favorite author and it’s shameful I have yet to have the chance to read it. What’s more annoying is I don’t know what it is about. All it says on the cover that Crichton will transport the reader from the glaciers of Iceland to the streets of Paris. One thought, however, points out that it has something to do with eugenics. A very terrifying topic indeed. How this issue is twisted in the Crichton way to make it seem plausible in our society today brings about a galvanization of enigma. Whether it will be turned into a full-length motion picture in the near future is still too early to tell. But to be fair, movies as of late based on Crichton’s novels has yet to do justice on his writing and imagination. They made him rich though. But mostly all the films turned out to be sordid ones. Namely Sphere, Congo and Timeline. The few exceptions are Jurassic Park, Disclosure and Rising Sun. Those movies are made with care. The later ones are rushed just to hang on to the excitement upon the release of the book. Just to point out, that’s the wrong way to do it. I have this feeling they would be working on Prey soon. It’s a story about killer nanites. Made and interesting read but I’m not sure it’ll amaze the crowd watching a silver screen. Let’s face it, there’s no roaring T-Rexes chasing you at 40 mph.

So if you’re into sci-fi thrillers which do not involve photon rays and the language of Klingon, then there’s no need to look any further. Pick this one up so you sound clever when you talk about all the latest technological breakthroughs, in par with Mr. Crichton.

The Presentators

If you subscribe to Nickelodeon, watch out for The Presentators. It’s a one-minute computer generated imagery shorts made by Aardman Animations. The same people who brought Wallace and Gromit to fame. The Presentators features three odd-looking clay animated people explaining things like history and why not to push the red button on the desk. There’s Brian (yellow), the annoying one who’s obsessed with things like dinosaurs and why no to push that red button. There’s Dan (red), who always argues with Brian and the most helping Stefan (blue), the one who’s concentrating fully on the presentation. Catch them if you can because they only come out at random between shows and are absolutely hilarious.

Talking Movies

One of the perks of unemployment is that you get to watch the live telecasts of those glamour awards shows from the US, which airs in the morning (Malaysian time) on weekdays. Just now I just finished viewing the 2006 Golden Globes. Before I start commentating about them it is best to give a SPOILER WARNING for those who have yet to watch the recording and want to be surprised when they do.

So, it has to be said my most enjoyable moment was when my man, Hugh Laurie won the best drama series actor for his portrayal of Dr. Gregory House. His acceptance speech was the best of the whole night. Even though I already knew he’s British but it’s still a delight to hear him talk in the accent. That would explain his tremendous wit in the show. Also because he was one of the pioneers in the Blackadder series. Go figure.

The women of Desperate Housewives took 4 out of the 5 nominations for best actress in a comedy series, and yet they were beaten by another portrayal of suburban mom in modern America played by Mary Louis Parker. It was a surprise and for some even shock. As Chris Rock said, the four women, whose lives are about “having affairs, popping pills and murder” was outdone by another suburban mom who was “selling dope”. He was referring to Weeds although I doubt the show will ever reach Malaysian shores. But Desperate did won best comedy series. A bit of reprieve for the women and obviously Marc Cherry.

One of the movies that I haven’t heard of but I would love to see as highlighted during the awards is the musical comedy The Producers. When you put Nathan Lane, Mel Brooks and Will Ferrell in one movie about staging a Broadway-like musical, you’re going to get one hell of a fun movie.

The biggest disappointing result to me, which was also in turn the biggest news of the night was the success of Brokeback Mountain. It won the best drama movie and its director, Ang Lee of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame, received the director’s honor. While I’m glad that an Asian director won an award as prestigious as a Golden Globe while beating the likes of Steven Spielberg (Munich) along the way, the recognition for the film itself is somewhat resentful. It tells the story of two rugged Western family men concealing their affair. In other words, it’s about two gay cowboys falling in love with each other. And those cowboys are Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. Ooh fantasy galore but I can’t help but think it’s such a lame storyline. What I would have preferred was Good Night, and Good Luck. A film by George Clooney which tells the intense story of CBS reporter, Ed Murrow going against then controversial Senator Joseph McCarthy who preyed upon the Communism paranoia in the 1950’s. The fact the whole movie was displayed in black and white ala Schindler’s List gave it a sense of authenticity and clairvoyance. Another of my choice would be A History of Violence. It tells the story of one man, played by Viggo Mortensen of Hidalgo and King Aragorn fame, who is a small time diner restaurateur and good old family man. Then suddenly he realizes that he possesses this uncanny ability to carry out effective killing. Soon, strange people are showing up at his doorstep telling him he has another history. A violent one. Kind of like those Bourne trilogy stories.

So, I’m glad for Hugh Laurie but Brokeback Mountain just despairs me. As you know, like they say, a good run in the Golden Globe would provide a strong momentum for the Oscars. Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture? Oh God, it’s Titanic all over again – just worse.

Easing Into 2006 (Sebuah Epik Gilgamesh Edisi Tahun Baru)

I have been sitting in front of this computer for, as it says here – 19 hours and 21 minutes. Now, you may ask, why in the bloody hell would someone do such a thing? Well, I have one word for you – Civilization IV. Okay that’s one word and a Roman numerical but still. It’s a computer game, in case you’re wondering, and it’s absolutely fuckin’ brilliant. Gamespot voted it as the PC game of the year and I can tell you they’re spot on.

Those familiar with the computer games world would recognize this title all woo well. It’s my first time trying this one out and I enjoyed it, immensely. For those of you who don’t, it lets you play as a historical leader leading a civilization from the crummy settlers who set up small villages at the beginning up to the huge metropolitan cities that discovers the Internet and space travel at the end (if you can succed). It’s not exactly a discerning concept but really an absorbing one at it. Look at me, for instance. I played as Caesar, ruling the Roman Empire and my friendly neighbour was Gandhi of India. We were friends at first, trading and stuff. But then I conquered his backyard and finally declared war on him. And not before I lined up hordes of military power just outside his major cities. I even nuked Delhi to top it all off. He was quite bitter after that, I can tell you. What a backstabbing bastard I was. And yet, I relished the victory. And more admirably the deception. I guess the saying is not entirely true, then. Greed can sometimes be rewarding. Anyway, those of you who have an able PC, get this game. You wouldn’t regret it. And get ready for some sleepless nights. I know I have.

Now, to some interesting stories. Last Wednesday, I was at the Shangri-La, KL, and I was amazed because I had forgotten how magnificent that hotel is. It used to be the hip spot but since attention has shifted to KLCC where the Mandarin Orientals and the Renaissances are, people have forgotten about it. Such as me. But of course, Shangri-La is an international chain and it’s impossible that the owners would let it fall in its standards. So it was rather foolish of me to have thought otherwise. However, that’s not my point in telling you about this. Nice décor, I might add.

Something likewise funny happened when I was about to leave the hotel. I parked my car, Valerie, at its parking space and for the first time ever I’ve seen at a well-respected hotel, the mode of payment for the parking ticket is to be made through an autopay station. The kind you’d find at large shopping malls. If that wasn’t enough, there was this stubby middle-aged man in front me, and obviously in a hurry because he swore a few times in respect of the machine’s incooperative-ness. And it didn’t help that he received this huge amount of change that made a sound like he hit a jackpot at a Las Vegas slot machine. When it was my turn, I too was equally surprised by my change. Not because it was a lot or incorrect but it was in two 50 cent coins. Then it occurred to me, since the RM1 coin went obsolete, these autopay machines would have to supply change in 50 cents denominations. I was lucky my change was only RM1. Imagine if it was RM5. It’s not that much but that would mean ten pieces of coins. If you think the ‘ka-ching ka-ching’ sound your trousers make when loaded with RM1 cons made was embarrassing enough, well think again. I imagine this is the same what’s going on at every shopping mall. Goodness, it has to be very annoying. Maybe some of you had realized this a long time ago since the RM1 coin was obsolete December 7th ago and giving me the “Doh!” treatment but excuse me for being an advent user of the LRT.
Back to the New Year theme. For 2006, according to the Chinese zodiac, it’s the year of the Dog. And for those of you born in 1982, it’s us! Aye! So, two full circles already. Remember the last time, 1994? We were twelve. It was kind of daunting. Leaving childhood and entering teenage years. It was a transitional year. For 2006, we are twenty-four and supposedly have deep entered into adulthood. I would like to emphasize on the word ‘supposedly’ rather than ‘adulthood’. Even though I know some of us had already gotten married and making babies but some of us still pretty much the playful kid unwilling to let go. I don’t know about girls but for boys, we still drool over fast red sports cars, fantasizing of having dates with the girls on the cover of FHM and obsessed with PS2.

Speaking of FHM, I was just in time to get my hands on the new 2006 calendar. Aye! But I must say this year’s is a bit disappointing. Some of the girls in it are just so… not right. For instance Mariah Carey. She is so 90s. And Paris Hilton? Urgh. Do you know that Hitz.FM once referred to her as an “heiress turned actress”? Actress? Really? Did they mean the job in House of Wax and that miserable Simple Life series merit her the title of an actress? Please, I’ve seen dogs do better job on Animal Planet. But one highlight of the calendar is Natasha Hudson. Oh yeah. One of the most underrated Malaysian beauties ever. Unlike Amber Chia. The most overrated Cina bukit one. And she’s Miss January. Go figure. Chia, that is.

And speaking of PS2, mine’s broke. Oh yes, heartbreak hotel. I was playing Winning Eleven, of course, when it suddenly refuses to read the disc. It just goes stagnant. Just like a man’s penis when the effects of Viagra have worn off. To fix, or not to fix? It’ll cost money, that’s for sure. Hence the reason I bought Civilization IV. Cheaper maa. 10 Ringgit only for one DVD.

So what’s in store for me in 2006? Well, we have the Raya Haji and Chinese New Year holidays to look forward to in the short term. As for the medium term, I’m very much confident I’ll pass the MICPA exam this second time running. It felt good. I really slugged it out this time. I missed a lot of Sportcentres. And it hurts every time I have to say ‘no’ when someone calls me up for some minum-minum. I was even angry with myself every time I fell asleep because time was too precious to be wasted on sleep. But in the end, it felt worth it. And with that, hopefully KPMG. Whoa! As for long term, I finally want to install a proper stereo into Valerie. That space has been void far too long. Ever since that Linkin Park concert in, when was that? 2003? Man, that’s too long. You’re probably wondering how I’ve managed it all this time. It’s not easy, I give you that. Especially during those long trips back to Tronoh.

I have a threesome date with Tomok and Nebu tonight to see Baik Punye Cilok. The reason I’m willing to see a Malay movie at a cinema is because it’s directed by my man, Afdlin Shauki. Since I missed his Why Are You Still Fat? and Actorlympics plays, this is some kind of retribution. And you can be pretty sure I’ll do this again when Buli Balik comes out and Sumo-lah later on. Man, I love his comedy. Oh by the way, have you seen the grossing charts lately? Narnia is doing better than Kong. How is that possible? Are the public blind? Narnia is so disappointing that’s it’s appalling that some quarters even dared to compare it with Goblet of Fire. Kong, meanwhile, was in a class of its own. You couldn’t tell whether it’s an action movie or whether it’s a love story, comedic or a sad dramatic tale. Now that’s artistic. And the only way you can get blown away with Narnia is if you’re twelve and your version of horror is The Little Red Riding Hood. And the greatest leader of all is a lion? That thing doesn’t even have opposable thumbs, let alone the ability to handle a sword or spear. It‘s got claws and bite, then what? Roar its enemies till death? What a joke.

I think it’s time for me to leave. Good holidays everyone. It’s the first month of the year and we’re already showered with public holidays. Could only happen in Malaysia. Cheers.

New Year 2006

Warm greetings to you, ladies and gentlemen, and guess what? It’s 2006! Aye!

On this lovely day of 1st January, the one question that everyone is most likely to ask you is, “How was your new year’s celebration?”. There’s only two types of answers to that question. One, you tell the story in length, right from the moment you put on that ‘special occasion’ cologne until you got home and forgot where you had left your house keys. Or, if you’re lucky, waking up in someone else’ bed and having trouble aiming during the morning piss. Or two, you just gave out a grumble, indicating that you had no intention to continue further with the discussion because last night was certainly forgettable. And you only have your pet cat to bear witness to all. Thank god to that. As the Sunday morning comic strip would point out, it’s whether you’re Garfield, or Jon Arbuckle.

Fortunately though, I have a delightful new year’s celebration. It was a barbeque night at Aritha’s and don’t we all just love barbeque. Her sister balik kampung, so the house was all for the taking. It was a nice, small, casual gathering, and it was good. I’ve long since left the brouhaha scene such as Bintang Walk and KLCC park. Teenage years, yes. But now, I’m just too old for that shit. These limbs are no longer how they used to be. So, there we were, a group of maybe 15 people. Chilling, having a few drinks (non-alcoholic, mind you) and a few laughs. Well, actually a lot of laughs. You know how it is with these Fab 5-esque people. They ARE the party everywhere they go. Even the constant yelping of the dog from next door couldn’t dampen the scene. But at around 10.30 I just realized I forgotten to do something. Fulfillment of a favor. Delivering dad’s ihram belt to my uncle at his house at Bukit Jelutong. He wants to borrow it because he misplaced his and he’s leaving, well, later tonight. So my failure to deliver would result in very dire consequences. 1 ½ hours till midnight. I could just make it for OU’s fireworks display if I leave now, so I thought to myself. So, as un-sportingly as it is to leave in the middle of a party, I had no choice. It’s Bukit Jelutong or bust. I arrived at around 11.30 and you may ask, why an hour? Two reasons. The traffic out of Damansara was agonizingly slow and I somehow took a wrong turn somewhere that almost lead me to Rawang. But I recalibrated my sense of direction and managed to arrive just in time to catch them lounging at the front porch. The whole family was there, talking, also waiting for the clock to strike twelve. The mother, the son and Farhan, the new son-in-law. Who? What? Oh yes, Farhan. You know, Farhan. The White SUV driving, basketball player for UTP Farhan. The one who promised eternal love to Ara. Just his version of eternal is ‘until I find a better one’. And now he’s married to my cousin, ‘the better one’. That may sound gloating but I assure you my intention is quite the opposite. Haven’t I told you this news already? Oh that’s right, I haven’t. Maybe because it’s a kind of news that I am not particularly proud of. Just think, I am now related to this guy. That’s probably the most disturbing revelation of 2005 for me. Previously, I was happy that he’s just a mere acquaintance that I needed only to nod to acknowledge his presence in a room. Now, I have to be ‘nice’ and ‘be friends’ (words from my mother) just because he’s about to shag my cousin for the rest of his life. Oh sod that! Anyway, enough of him and let’s get back to meeeee.

Right, dropped off the things and I have a half an hour to head back to Bandar Utama. To make matters worse, Valerie’s petrol tank is nearly empty and the engine was practically running on fumes. Not a good combination. But this time no more wrong turns, traffic was tolerable except for a bitchin’ silver Hyundai Accent and I was able to made it in time. I was running to the house after I parked Val and I was at the gate when the first ‘Boom’ erupted. I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and the somber night sky was suddenly filled with color and splendour. I was elated. Not just because I have always welcomed fireworks displays but also because I just made it in time. Not in Valerie stuck in traffic somewhere.

There were two separate displays. One by One Utama and the other by Ikea. Ikea won the perseverance contest but apart from that, I was particularly happy because this is a first time, in a long time, that I was able to witness a fireworks display so closely. Usually it’s from the window of my room and watching KLCC and KL Tower illuminated in the distance. Last Merdeka, even though the view from Bukit Antarabangsa was fantastic but it was still a tad far away to hear the booming sound effects. Last night, the boy inside me was jumping and singing happily.

After the fireworks, I went inside and good lord was I shocked. Most of the people had gone home! I mean like, blimey, they didn’t even stay until midnight, which is the whole point of having a New Year’s Eve party. Yes, we are a bit too old to be counting, “… 3, 2, 1” aloud but still…chill around! What I left a festive commotion, I have returned to a party of five. It was disappointing at so many different levels and mainly because I didn’t have a chance to bid goodbye, especially to the girls. Oh, the girls. Sasa was unusually commendable of my appearance. She said I had a nice haircut (which I paid RM10 for at an Indian barbershop at Greenwood) and that I looked slimmer (which I think is probably being towards a case of malnutrition). And Jes. Oh dear me, Jes. She looked so hot I was sweating by merely looking at her. The fact she’s a woman is almost secondary. She just emanates heat. But all that was gone now, albeit the night was still young. Mind you, all that sleepless nights studying made me feel midnight like 9 pm. At around 1.30 am, I too had to call it a night. Everybody else was leaving and since Aritha didn’t want to be ‘tangkap basah’ with me, it was cue for me to start dragging my homemade barbeque set to Valerie.

Still feeling unsatisfied, I called up Gambino, hoping for some form of retribution. But to no avail, he too was just having a so-so night. He didn’t go to the Holiday Villa gig. ‘Tak ramai pun yang kite kenal ade kat situ’ was his reason. ‘Kalau semua bebudak kite orait gak’, I lamented. He agreed. So, instead he went to Subang to Mawar’s. And he’s been there since most of the night. I ended the call and with it, my adventures for the night. I bid my beautiful hostess, Aritha, farewell. And she looked absolutely vivacious in a white top. I was hoping for a new year’s kiss but she didn’t give me one. Haih, have to wait for 2007 then.

I got into Valerie, put her into reverse, drove out of Damansara and start the quiet journey towards home.

So, tell me, how was your New Year’s celebration?

The Football Fan that is me

I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air, they fly so high, they reach the sky, and as my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hidding, I looked everywhere, I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air

For those of you who had seen Green Street Hooligans then you’ll be very familiar with this chant of the Green Street Elite. This is such a wonderful film. If you would like to see Frodo Baggins breaking the noses of people twice his size by headbutting them in then you ought to see this one.

Spurred by that, I saw Real: The Movie. A film about Real Madrid, the most successful European club in history and what it means to different sets of people. From a Japanese girl who’s obsessed with Beckham, a Senegalese man who has to walk 60km every time to watch the team play because that’s how far the nearest TV set is and a history teacher who never liked football was transferred to Madrid and was dumbfounded on what the deal is with the football club anyway? Now, that got me thinking. Well, dreaming actually. Wouldn’t it be just grand to live in a city like Madrid? Or Milan? London, even? But definitely not Manchester. People would tell me that, “Oh you should see the paintings in Madrid!” or “You just have to shop at Milan!” but as soon as I get there, I would only have two destinations on my mind – the Santiago Bernabeu and the San Siro. Everybody has a 10-year-old inside them somewhere and that was mine talking.

Last weekend I finally managed to do something interesting worth mentioning in a long time. It has to do with, what else, but football. Haha it’s a futsal tournament actually, organized by ASAS – that’s Alumni Sekolah Alam Shah, by the way. I know what most of you are thiniking and the answer is no, I didn’t took part as a player. I was part of the supporters @ hooligans. Though I was given the title ‘manager’ for one for the teams but without any managerial powers. My main job was to believe in the team no matter what happens and I have to make the players believe that as well, especially when things turned sour. I guess I didn’t do too bad at all because the team went to the final! Yeah! We were unlucky really. It was all square after regulation time and penalty shoot-outs. In the end, the flip of coin determined the winner. We just chose the side that was facing the floor. Even though we were second best overall but we had the best supporters. Everyone else was just too damn serious. We were the liveliest and noisiest bunch. Everyone realized how cool it was to be a 99. It was a good Sunday. And the humiliation of Arsenal made it even better. It was the 2nd annual. And be pretty damn sure we’re coming back better for the 3rd.

Bad Movies and the 'Plup-plup' Babies

It used to be Sylvester Stallone as a one-man renegade soldier and Arnold Schwarzenegger as an android with a license to kill. Now, it’s Keira Knightley as a bounty hunter and Charlize Theron as a dominatrix assassin. What has the world gone into?

Every Astro viewer would be familiar with the ad of the Taiwanese (I think) musical Perhaps Love because it comes out just about every commercial slot. Anyway, despite the annoyance I think it shows promise. It has that spectacular-ness and splendour of Moulin Rouge and Chicago. I mean, look at me, I can’t even get that ‘Hah-mei-yo, sah-mei-yo’ chant out of my head. It’s disturbingly catchy. But that’s not the point. Good for them, you see, but it’s something closer to home that has me worrying. It seems that musicals are a returning trend in the movie industry nowadays and Malaysia are trying to jump onto the bandwagon. News is, one of the most anticipated one is Divas, starring none other than Ning Baizura. Another is a copycat of Kabhi Kushi. The local film industry tried this musical formula once before and it didn’t catch up. Now they’re trying at it again and I tell you what, the result will still be the same. Well, maybe they’ll earn some worthwhile revenue but I can pretty much assure you, if you’re expecting even a hint of a Broadway quality standard, you will be disappointed. Malaysia is still pretty useless in making movies, let alone musicals. We have such terrible choreographers and I can’t remember the last time I heard a good soundtrack coming from a local film. I just hope they will scrap this idea but I guess it’s a bit too late, isn’t it?

Still sticking with the movie theme, how many of you are excited about Narnia? I’m pretty sure everyone who has seen the trailer would more or less agree that it’s a cross between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Both movies are fantastic so there’s no reason not to be excited. I’m excited about the movie myself. But not for all about the 3 noble children against the bad white witch and the penultimate battle between good and evil. What I’m more interested about was when I saw the trailer, there’s a scene showing two talking beavers at a table, conversing intelligently. I mean, how fascinating is that? Talking beavers! It’s both so disturbing and intriguing at the same time. Can you imagine having them as pets? “Hi, welcome to my home. Would you like to see my pet beavers? They talk, you know. They can even quote Shakespeare.” And they say the young minds of today are twisted. And this book was published in the 1950s.

Okay, leaving movies behind, I want to talk about something more gruesome. Last weekend, after a good kickabout of futsal, the lads went for a drink, as usual. But this time around we had a medic student among us and being boys, we couldn’t help but ask all about the gruesome, disgusting and every sexually inclined stories there is to know. It started off rather lightly with questions regarding the appendix. Then we venture into buasir (I don’t what it is in English). The highlight has to be when we talked about delivering babies. Imagine this, he’s the same age as I am and yet, he has personally delivered 10 babies into this world. 10! And apparently as a med student, this is nothing of a big deal. And this guy has come face to face to a wide variety of female genitalia that I can ever hope for to see in my entire life. And he gets to stick his fingers into them, to know the baby’s position and stuff. Not to play, of course, because that will be malpractice. Though he did mention having a close call with one patient. She was young and it was her first pregnancy so came to see this friend of mine to do the usual check-up and when the sticking-in-your-fingers part came he felt, well, let me quote, “dahla lembut, ketat, panas…huih,”. Of course, being a good doctor and everything he reassigned the patient to a colleague. Did I mention she’s pretty too? Well, she is and that didn’t really help in lessing the discomfort part. Then there’s the plup-plup babies. What’s a plup-plup baby? Well, the term really came about that night but a plup-plup baby is a baby who is the sixth or probably seventh child of the mother. So in that case the mother is pretty used to the birth process and the ‘access route’ is, well, more accessible. So the baby comes out rather easily. And my friend imitated the delivery action while sounding a ‘plup’ sound, hence the plup-plup babies. The opposite, of course, are first time mothers and he further explained that in delivery cases, there’s always a pair of scissors. I wouldn’t tell you what it’s used for ‘cause I know you very much can guess and it’s not just cutting the umbilical cord. And let me tell you the size, is pretty intimidating. Now I can understand why first-time fathers are happy and yet a bit sad at the birth of his first-born. I know I would.

It’s the final month of the year and Christmas is coming soon. A year ago I was pretty much miserable. Well, it hasn’t changed much this time around either. I’m slowly beginning to fathom the harsh realities of living in this unfair and cruel world. It’s only Tuesday and I’m already thinking about the weekend. Ah yes, another disgruntled human being. Oh I forgot to mention Cahaya came by the house recently for a meet-the-parents session. It went well, I guess. It was uneventful to say the least. She was rather tall. But then again, she’s a stewardess, as if I’m expecting something less. One thing I did notice she had a pair of Coach shoes on. That must’ve cost something. But again, she must have bought them somewhere in Paris after having some croissant for breakfast down at a café au lait near her hotel where she was staying. Yet, I find it rather difficult to imagine her as future sister-in-law. I wonder why?

Bid It! and the Best of it all

Ho-yo! Ho-yo! Dr. Slump, yeah! Haih, long time no write. I’m in a slump you see. No good good idea come one to write story about. Hence the title of blog, loh! Anyway, I think my life was dry for the past couple of weeks. Either that or at times I was too lazy to write anything when something actually did happen. Well, this time I came about something a bit of exciting and coincidentally I am in the mood to write.

I developed something of a habit you see. A bad one too. It started yesterday, right in front of this computer. Well, the signs were already there for a while now but yesterday it took its turn for the worse. It’s the Channel V virus. And I’m infected with the ‘Bid It’ variant.

I’m sure most of you know what this thing is all about. Up to this they were just busy offering handphones as the items for bidding and I wasn’t that tempted. Then I read in the papers yesterday and the items for this week is a Sony PSP and an Oakley Thump among others. What tech geek could ever resist a Sony PSP!? Apart from the IPod Nano, this is the IT thing at the moment. It’s so cool you could wear them as a fashion accessory. So later that night I typed http://www.chanelv.com/ and soon I find myself sending RM0.50 SMSs whimsically. Before I knew it, 10 Ringgit just went down the drain. I was just in time to regain my composure and managed to set my handphone aside for the night. Come today the image of the Sony PSP still lingers in my head. It was just a couple of hours ago when I thought of an ‘ong’ number and whoops, goes another 2 Ringgit. And something tells me that wouldn’t be the last time that scenario will occur again. So far I’ve managed to get ‘unique’ but ‘not lowest’. It feels like Russian Roulette. You always think you can do one step better each time. And that thought happens every time. Oh these marketing people, they are so diabolically brilliant.

Well, it’s over now and I missed it. The winner is RM4.70 for the PSP and RM3.19 for the Thump. This is when everybody goes, “Oh I should have thought of that price!”. Come to think of it, this is like “The Price Is Right” the modern version. Man, did I love that gameshow.

George Best had died. Even though I despise Man Utd but this man’s iconic status as a footballer surpasses all that and that demands respect from every football fan. Heck, even non-football fans remember him. Such as my mother and my Business Law lecturer. But they both remember him for the wrong reasons – a handsome but an alcoholic young man. My favorite from Best is this: “I used to went missing a lot – Miss Canada, Miss World, Miss United Kingdom,” and his remarks about David B. You know, he can’t head, can’t tackle, can’t use his left foot but other than that, he’s alright. I never saw him play live but TV were showing some of his old footages and good God, this man was brilliant. He was a player that would make a crowd go “oooh” and “aaah” and gasp before shouting for a celebrated goal. Take my word for it, he’s just that good. And he will be missed.

Another icon to leave us is Pat Morita. Sounds familiar doesn’t he? Well, he’s more popularly known as Mr. Miyagi of the Karate Kid franchise. He died of natural causes at the age of 73. I like this guy so much. I used to imitate the “wax on, wax off” stance even before I entered kindergarten even though I didn’t know what it meant back then. I still find the Karate Kid reruns on HBO amusing. And did you know he received an Oscar nomination for his role in Part 1? I just realized that only after reading about his death. One of the unsung heroes of the silver screen.

For you animal lovers out there I would like you to try and google the word ‘liger’. You will come across something very interesting. Some say a mythical creature. I’m just surprised I never seen it on Animal Planet.

Well, that all folks. I would love to talk about Perfection, Sleeping Beauty, Aisha’s friend Emma and Mawar’s friend Zherpin but I think that would be too taxing. Cheers and have a beautiful day wherever you are, even as far as that girl in New Zealand who even dared not to given me an inkling of hint that she was flying out, excursing of out the continent.

Stupid Ideas and Espionage

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to Pepsi Tarik. It’s a “coffee flavored carbonated drink”. Another ridiculous product from these so called westerners. Another item to add to the long list of silly ideas in the view to penetrate further into the local market. Pepsi is not the first and I am sure isn’t the last to veer its way to supposedly ‘revolutionary’ strategies. If you would, remember when Pizza Hut introduced the Satay pizza? Wasn’t quite that nice, was it? It had such a poor response it was chunked. The same goes with the rending and tom yam flavored ones. KFC too tried with the tom yam crust fried chicken. Same result, poor feedback. So they went further ahead and introduced the curry version. That too went to the bin. McD also tried, though a bit subtle. They have the bubur ayam McD, or chicken porridge. I think it’s still around but I don’t remember anyone actually giving it the thumbs up. When I go to McDonald’s, the only thing on my mind is to get myself a fat, juicy burger. Lots of calories and dripping with cholesterol. Who wants to buy boring ol’ porridge? Who came up with this brilliant idea anyway? Are they trying to add the senior citizens as their target market too nowadays? Those bastards. I have one advice to these so called western fast food corporations. Stick to your western flavors. There’s no need to change. Don’t try mixing up with eastern flavors. Just because you like ice cream and tuna sandwich doesn’t mean blending them together would create something better. As a matter of fact, you would ruin it. Please, please stop it. Look at Coke. They added vanilla to the drinks and voila! Instant hit. And as for Pepsi, why do you confuse the word ‘tarik’ and ‘coffee’ in the same phrase? We only tarik tea here, not coffee.

Well, I found a new toy today. It’s available online and it’s free. It’s called Google Earth. What it is, is that it enables you to view satellite pictures of anywhere on earth. Anywhere. It really is intriguing. You can’t go as far as zoom in on a stray cat but you can get a good view of your home if you’re lucky. I’m not so. Gombak is little out of reach. I can only locate as far as Haji Tapah. But I did manage to locate Sasa’s home. Down to her driveway by the side of her house. I could also make out Aritha’s house but I couldn’t exactly pick out the precise one because they all look the same from above. I could only identify as far as the street. So anyone interested who has nothing to do at the office with a high bandwidth, you can try this out. Some sections of the public claims it’s potentially dangerous as it can be use by terrorist to plan attacks but I think that’s far fetched. These pictures are readily available anyway. And besides, it’s not like they’re blueprint of the city. It doesn’t tell the exact dimensions or what’s underneath the ground. But it’s sure a lot of fun for the common man. It gives you that Enemy of the State feeling. Just that this one isn’t in real time.

I’d love to write more but I have to end here. Cheers and sorry for grammatical mistakes.

The Never-ending Quest of a Student

You know how much the Malaysian government taxes imported cars, right? It makes you wonder, what kind of cars we would see filling our federal roads should those tax rates are abolished. Without taxes, a person would only have to pay for a brand new Honda Civic what he would pay for a Proton Wira. So, if Wira owners could become Civic owners, what about current Civic owners? Probably become Accords. And what about the current Accords, or Camry? A C 180K Merc most probably. The 3-series’ could most likely turn to Jags. And so on, so on. Imagine that. But in the name of patriotism, that scenario is unlikely to happen in the near future. Another, ‘what if’ situation.

I met Wakju earlier this evening, at the bus stand on Jalan Ampang right across the Twin Towers, in front of the would-be The Meritz. He just finished his classes for the day and was waiting for the bus back home. So was I. I just take the Putra line, that is. So there we were. Two university graduates, standing beside the road, thinking that their learning days were over and yet, it was far from it. Career opportunities are very scarce these days so taking up professional courses is a pretty reasonable course of action. When I reached home, I received news of an opportunity to join a financial planning course under Perbadanan Usahawan Nasional Bhd (PUNB). It’s definitely worth a try. So it got me thinking. This trend is likely to continue for me. This, going for learning courses one after the other. I’m much of a student now than since I was 7. So I wouldn’t be much surprised if I’ll be doing my Masters sooner rather than later. And further down the road, dare I say it, my doctorate. Sure it sounds a bit far fetched at the moment, considering what a lousy student I am but it certainly isn’t impossible. Believe me even I couldn’t stomach the idea right now but life has a funny way in determining how’s one life will go. I have seen a lazy student become a teacher. I have seen a physicist become a comedian. And I have seen a poet turn into a rockstar. Life is weird in more ways than one. We could only plan so much.

On the 8th day of Raya, my loved one gave to me...

I guess it’s a curse, being an IT graduate, that I cannot live through a single day without access to up-to-date information. That’s what happened during my balik kampung period. The not-so-much of a beach house now is far away from any Streamyx connection and an Astro unit is pretty much unfeasible, so for nearly 5 days I was miserable without being able to check my e-mails, check-out soccernet, update my fantasy football team and get a healthy dose of Sportscenter and intensive coverage of Matchday 5 of the Champions League. One even had to go to town just to get a copy of The Star. And that doesn’t happen everyday. In effect I only found out about the result between Lille and Man Utd last Saturday. I had a wonderful Raya but it’s the periods between visiting relatives and eating the kuih Raya that was mind-numbing. It reminded me pretty much why I no longer watch free TV nowadays. I mean, that Jaafar Onn beras Jati commercial is just so incredibly annoying. They had this whole Kesultanan Melayu Melaka theme going on and there on the rice package is a picture of Jalaludin Hasan in a suit giving the thumbs up. Like, what the fuck? Consolation, if any, comes in the usual heart-warming ad from Petronas led by Sharifah Amani. Apart from that, watching Puteri Gunung Ledang and Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam again just gives me something to do. Oh how I craved for my PS2 back home.

But Raya is not just about TV and electronic communication. It’s about being in the festivity mood and being around your family and relatives. If that still works for you. It got me worked up for at most 2 days. My friends here in KL are already went karaoke-ing on the night of the 3rd Raya. I don’t know what happening to the youth nowadays. We don’t used to enjoy Raya as much as we did when we were younger. I’m not sure it has to do something with the age thingy.

Like last Sunday. Gambit had an open house up at his condo at Ampang and even though only a few people had showed up, it wasn’t really that bad because we ended up having a public viewing of Gol & Gincu on Astro Ria. It seemed a pretty good idea at first, and we’re talking mostly males here, when finally we realized how much of a chick flick it really was. But hey, we’re all avid supporters of the local film industry. Except all love stories which has Erra Fazira in it. Then, later on, Chelsea got beaten. Haih…

I happened to watch something very interesting on Monday. You remember that once I went to the Ning Baizura and Zainal Abidin show recording last July at Angkasapuri, courtesy of Sasa, right? Well, the recording was to be aired during the 5th day of Raya and since I had nothing else better to do, in a very uncharacteristic way I flicked on TV2 and stuck to it. And it was such a poor transition by RTM. Viewing it live was actually quite pleasant but when it comes on screen, goodness me, the stage looks awful tenfold and so were the dancers. And the audio crackled. Both Ning and Zainal has high pitched voices but RTM’s sound system just didn’t do justice. But that’s not the interesting part. The interesting part, which I didn’t tell you people before was when it was Zainal’s turn to perform after Ning, and while he was conversing with the audience after his opening piece, Aritha who was then seated beside me, decided to suddenly scream at the top of her lungs, “I love you, Zainal~!”. Almost instinctively I brought my face down to my lap and covered it with both my hands out of embarrassment. Zainal heard it and said something back but I couldn’t recall because I was busy whispering to myself, “I can’t believe she did that. I can’t believe she did that,” over and over again. And I thought that was that. End of story. But as I watched that recording on TV that night, that scene came on and you can clearly hear Aritha’s voice yet again, filling the auditorium. It had my jaw gaping. And this time I remembered what Zainal’s reply was. “Ape? Jangan cakap bahasa Mandarin, saya tak paham. Ha, wa ai nee,”. And the crowd giggled. I SMSed Aritha telling her what I saw, or heard that is, on national TV and she just find it all too amusing. As a matter of fact, so did I.

It’s now a week after Raya and things are returning to normal in the city. Traffic jams are building and people no longer rush back as early as 3 o’clock to be the first at their local pasar Ramadhan. But I happen to drop by at Suria earlier today and something caught my eye which really irritated me. It’s the school holidays. On there were hordes of teenagers pestering about aimlessly around. There’s the group of youth who think they are the next gen of Punk or Ska group and there’s the lovey-dovey couple, which is the most annoying and repulsive. Don’t they understand the meaning of the phrase ‘a public place’? It means the public uses the place. Meaning, as opposed as the name suggests, a display of public affection is not in the prime interest of the public. If you want to fondle your spouse’s bottom or would like to clean his or her ear with your tongue, would you please, please, get a god damn room! And it gets worse on the LRT. I’m surprised they didn’t just have a raunchy sex scene then and there. But I wasn’t after I read the Durex Global Sex Survey in today’s paper. After the bedroom, Malaysians like to engage sex in toilets. Although it didn’t state whether it’s within their private quarters or the public amenities. Knowing the state of our public restrooms I’m guessing the former. But I could be wrong. Still an interesting facet though, nevertheless. But if you want to talk about adventurous, whoa, Malaysians like to do it in the car, in their parents’ bedroom and some even at work and in the garden. I’ll leave the imagination part to you. And the average age we lose our virginity? 19. It’s quite scary but among the other countries, we are one of the latest. Only India and Vietnam are above us. In Iceland, people lose their virginity at the average age of 15.9. That means you’re an Icelandic weirdo if you haven’t had sex by the time you celebrate your 16th birthday.

Aah, there’s nothing like talking about sex early in the morning. That’s all fer now. We’ll catch up again soon. Oh by the way, Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Deepavali wo are kind hearted enough to visit my blog. Good day and good luck.

Mid-day Rambling Session

I can’t believe I left my last entrée on such a morbid note. It’s time to change that. Let’s have a chat, shall we?

Let’s start off with the movies. Have you seen Zorro 2? No. Of course not, because it doesn’t exists. The latest installment to the Banderas – Zeta Jones movie collaboration is originally titled ‘The Legend of Zorro’. But why do they change it to Zorro 2? Well, my theory is the public (and I mean specifically the Malaysian one) have a difficult time differentiating between the words ‘Mask’ and ‘Legend’, so in order to avoid confusion and thinking that the studio is merely re-releasing the first movie for, oh I don’t know, the festive season maybe, they just re-market it as Zorro 2. That is why, if you take a look at the promotion billboard at the local cinemas, the numeral 2 looks so distastefully fake and out of sync with the rest of the repertoire. The same thing, I am sure, does not happen at the US.

I don’t get to watch a lot of movies lately due to the lack of opportunities but I did manage to catch Goal! recently and my what a brilliant movie. Finally, football has a decent movie to be represented with. I’ve seen almost all of the previous cock-ups and I have to say the one with Sylvester Stallone in it is the worst. It may have Pele but a horrible movie nevertheless. This one is a breath of fresh air. It catches the true essence of what makes football exciting. With Newcastle, The Toon Army and St James’ Park as its backdrop is just pure genius. But the most amusing part is when David Beckham came on screen because in front of me, there’s a row of 5 girls sitting and they just shrieked when David B made his 2 minute cameo. It wasn’t even on a football pitch. Just a few dopey lines but my, these girls were jumping up and down in their seats. I couldn’t help but have a chuckle myself.

Now let’s talk about the festive season. As you all know, Raya is just around the corner. But, unless you’re a Hindu, you tend to forget that Deepavali is dropping by first. I know I do. One of the reasons is promotion. You know how shopping malls like to dress up their centre court according with the festive themes when times like these come around. It would be silly for them not to. So when I dropped by at Suria KLCC recently they have this ala kampung style décor with artificial wooden houses built closely together. Along with a group of people playing congkak at a corner this could only remind you of one thing – Hari Raya. Then I went to One Utama 2 and they have a huge sprawling wooden platform with the words ‘Cahaya Lembaran’ emblazoned on the centre edifice. This too would aptly remind you about Hari Raya. And at these two giant shopping malls you could likely hear classic Raya tunes from the late P. Ramlee, Saloma and Sudirman playing in the background. This too would add to the Raya feel. But what about Deepavali? Apart from the small kolum you would see at the entrance at Cold Storage, I couldn’t remember anything else. And want to know the funny thing is? You could easily associate Hari Raya with Raya tunes. Even for Chinese New Year you could recall some Gong Xi songs but for Deepavali? What? Deepavali doesn’t even have a theme song! The poor buggers. And we brag about so much about Malaysia being multicultural and everything. Can’t even find a theme song for Deepavali. So embarrassing. For accreditation purposes, I would like to point out that Harith Iskandar first conned me with this idea.
In other insignificant news in my life, my left thumb is sore, which disables me from playing Winning Eleven 9 for the time being. Another futsal nightie is due tomorrow and it bugs me that it’ll be again at Sunway for two consecutive weeks. So far leh! My streamyx connection suddenly feels like dial up lately and I find it unbelievable that the Jalan Tun Razak gridlock could start as early as 12.30 pm. It makes me wonder whether some of these KL people actually go to work or not. And how could anyone resist the Pussycat Dolls of the music scene. If money is no object, I would certainly like to hire them to be center stage for my bachelor party. Accompanied of course, with some Playboy bunnies. Ooh what a night that would be. I just hope the future missus wouldn't mind.

I better stop here. I’m rambling too much. Cheers.

Datin Seri Endon:The Passing

It’s another brand new day here in Kuala Lumpur but sadly it’s a grey one. A gloom that has engulfed the city following the passing away of Datin Seri Endon, namely Malaysia’s First Lady. The late wife of the current Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi.

Her death is inevitable, I’m afraid. Having struggling with breast cancer, you know it would come sooner or later. But nobody ever dared spoke of it because deep in our hearts, all we Malaysians were vying for a miracle. But not all hopes come true.

Even though it is definitely a sad day for the country, the question remains to be with the widower, the Prime Minister himself. The lost of your life long companion is never easy but unlike other people, he doesn’t have the luxury to mourn for an indefinite period. He still has to run the country. Maybe it’s not fair but he for one cannot lose sight nor the concentration to be objective in his work, for the good of the Malaysian public, even in the tragic event such as this. He, of all people, should have realized this. We sympathize with him as man, but we desperately need him as our leader.

All hear for the PM.

My Fried Router

This entrée is dedicated to Tomok who earlier today hit my blog 10 times in the hope that I’ve updated it. Well, here’s your treat, mate. Dengan ini aku berharap kau takde nak cari alasan lagi untuk tak buat keje dan makan gaji buta.

So the only reason I have been absent from the online community recently is because my ADSL router was fried.

Almost a week ago Gombak was hit with the worst thunderstorm in a very long time. Such it that one lightning struck too close to home that it produced a surge strong enough to knock my router dead. Maybe some of you would accuse of me not being careful and take the decency to switch off all electronic devices in the event of such thunderstorms. I’m guilty of that. But my router was connected to a lightning isolator which gave a 100% guarantee from lightning surges. Want to know a strange thing? The lightning isolator is unscathed. And my wireless router which also connected to it also survived the onslaught. So what’s the problem? What ‘killed’ my router? It was still the lightning but the surge did not come through the power line. It came through the phone line. Evident? My fixed phone line went kaput too. It was a dead giveaway. So while the phone line was fixed the next day with a quick call to Telekom, nothing could be done to fix my internet connectivity until I buy a new router. That came yesterday but then came another problem. I have trouble setting up the damn thing. For an IT graduate to not know how to set up a router is troublingly insulting. It’s like a professional football player not knowing how to take a penalty. I fiddled with everything but it still wouldn’t connect with streamyx. I went to bed an unsatisfied man. Today, I came back and tried again. And again, to no avail. I tried calling the store’s tech support but nobody picked up. With the knowledge that I can work this somehow made me to continue trying. Until about 30 minutes to buka puasa, something happened – it connected. I was perplexed. I have tried this configuration many times before to no success but suddenly – oh yes, there could only be one explanation. The streamyx line also went kaput during the thunderstorm and it has just been rectified. Soooo, so so so so so, I am once again connected to the vast electronic world and am a happy man. Whew…

This is more like a on-the-spot entrée. I’ll probably write some better stories after this. This is just to get Tomok off my back. Nah, dah hepi noq?

Oh yeah, it's my friend Gambit's birthday tomorrow so his petite girlfriend Mawar decided to throw a small party or something to commemorate the event. So, I'll be headed to Ampang tonight and if I happen to pick up a dandy young girl, I'll let you know. Arriverderci, i miei amici.

A Feast 'supposedly' Fit for a King

In The Star, dated October 13, 2005, Malaysian Tourism Minister Datuk Dr Leo Michael Toyad says hotels are overcharging for the breaking of fast buffet during Ramadhan. He was commenting on a statement by the Malaysian Hoteliers Association that hotels would stick to their decision to charge RM100 or more for the breaking of fast buffet. And I quote, “I think consumers will have their opinion. Consumers have the right to make a choice. But again, I will say RM100 is too high” end quote.

Well, for today I went for such a buffet. It was at the PJ Hilton. Although it is quite a delightful evening, I’m gonna go with Michael Toyad on this one and agree with him that RM100 for a Ramadan buffet is a bit over the top. But I’m not really complaining because all of this was the treat of none other than the wacky but successful mat saleh Colin Edmonds. A close acquaintance of my father. And he does this every puasa month. I first attended it two years ago and I arrived late back then, probably being too engrossed in my work during my industrial training years to realize the time. And I even had the nerve to drive all the way from Setiawangsa to PJ. Last year I couldn’t make it because Ramadhan coincided with the final examinations so I was stuck at Tronoh. This year I decided to make amends by arriving at least a half an hour early. But fate had other ideas, once again. Since driving would be a suicidal option as I had discovered, I boarded the trusty Putra. Halfway through the journey the train stopped for a half hour because of a “pencerobohan trek” from KL Sentral to Bangsar. What are the odds, eh?

Now, returning to the Hilton, I managed to arrive just a little over 7, which is commendable. And the place was packed. I mean to the brim. It almost looks like a high-class pasar malam. One of the first downside of this RM100 dinner. The second downside is the food. There’s a whole lot of variety but it’s Malaysian themed, meaning you will find nasi ayam, beef rendang, ikan bakar, curry puffs and bubur lambuk. I mean, it’s good, being Malaysian and all but you can get these same stuff at a local pasar ramadhan. And I’m sure the cost is well below the RM100 mark. But of course, it’s the same scenario in all of the hotels throughout the Klang Valley. I don’t know where they do their research on Malaysian’s preference for food but for RM100 I want more than udang sambal tumis and a whole section dedicated to kerabu. I want lasagnas, pizzas, beef bacon, crème brule, cheesecakes, pies, a wide variety of pastries and 10 different flavors of Haagen Dazs ice cream. But one saving point at the Hilton was the presence of my favorite section – the grill. Thankfully they do serve lamb chops and roast beef. Slither them with black pepper and mushroom sauce and voila, I was a happy boy. But back at the table I was once again saddened. There’s not much room to maneuver because of the packed floor. One just has to make do.

So was it worth it? I’d say yes. But just because someone else was paying for it. It was a nice change of environment but had it been my pocket money, I’d be knocking my head on the table. If I had to make a choice, I’d prefer Chili’s. So my advice for this Ramadhan month – avoid the PJ Hilton.

Another interesting issue that caught my attention earlier tonight was the conversation my family had with Ms Geraldine, Colin’s wife. We were talking about marriage and she pointed out the changing trends that’s happening today. During our grandparents’ time, marriage was like during the age of 17 to 19. Our parents moved on to a slightly older age, which is about early 20s before deciding to get married. But nowadays, ask any 20 something man or woman and they will answer, “Please don’t ask me about marriage,”
It’s true isn’t it? Quite strangely so. Even I give that kind of answer when people approach me about it. Most people my age who I know are either married to his or her high-school sweetheart or their girlfriend or boyfriends during their university years. Others who are currently in a relationship are still happy with their partners but the question of marriage is a surreal one for them. I mean, most of us still live with our parents. I’m still being taken care of. How can I financially support another human being? It’s a frightful thought. And don’t start talking about love to me. Biggest misconception of all time. The one thing I do find these 20-something-let’s-get-married people have in common is that either the bride or the groom has wealthy parents. If they don’t, well I guess they’re just plain idiots. So unless you have an RM20 million trust fund locked up somewhere, marriage is not the wisest option right now. This, of course, mainly applies to us 20-something people who watched too many TV and Hollywood romantic movies.

Well, there’s my update. Not really a bombshell topic but I guess it’ll do. It’s another Friday. Another futsal night. Albeit being all the way at Sunway. It sucks not to have a steady source of income. Makes you lose out on the fun stuff living in the city. Money is what makes the world goes around you know. People who say money is the root of all evil don’t have any. Have you ever seen a man get upset when he receives his monthly paycheck? No. He has a big, fat fucking smile.

UTP Alumni is having a buka puasa dinner this 22nd. Would I be interested? Well, for starters I don’t know most of the people that will be attending. Second, most of them would probably arrive with their husbands or wives and may be even children, sporting designer clothes and Chanel handbags and tell stories about their recent job in Dubai and their holiday at Cape Verde. As for me, on the other hand, am partner-less, jobless and not exactly have Prince Williams’ looks to charm the crowd despite my shortcomings. So, no, I am certainly not interested. I would consider had it been an invitation involving just my batch but the alumni? I probably wouldn’t even take a raincheck.

Oh my, I’m turning quite the bitter person aren’t I? Well, my apologies. I do hope you have a good weekend. And for those who only read my blog during office hours, hey, guess what? It’s Monday again.

Ramadhan is here

A little over 2 years ago, I usually start my day by writing a chain mail to the lahanat community every time after sahur. Or was it laharnat? Anyway, I would write some overzealous story for the day until the sun comes out and that'll be my queue for the showers. Today, however, I find myself blogging. It's the new trend I suppose. Although the lahanat community, or the febeles group as it's now properly known, still exists. Despite not being the haphazard humdinger it used to be.

It's the first day of Ramadhan. The fasting month for Muslims all around the world. Basically that means there will be no more after-office-hours chilling sessions at Lotus for a good month or so (taking into consideration the Raya period).

Supposedly being a good Muslim boy, one would've thought that I had accompanied my father for the month's first terawih at the nearby surau. Well, I didn't. Instead I went for an hour of futsal at Ampang against some people Gambit had made contact with at work. We were quite effectively beaten. Or as the Malay saying goes "kena titik". It felt really shitty but come to think of it, it served us right.

Aah it's Subuh. Well people, have a nice opening day of puasa at the office. But I'm sure it's not something new for some of my lady friends who have been busy ganti-ing their previous puasa for the past 2 weeks or so. Good day and good luck.

The Teluk Batik Trip

The only chance of a Monday morning to make any sense is to have a blasting weekend before that and the whole of Monday off to ponder about it. Fortunately enough, I happen to fall into that category this morning.

The weekend started off on Friday night with a trip to Bangsar with the UTP lads of Din, Big Show, Mon, Hadi and Ijam. Din was kindly enough to treat us with some western dining to serve as a purpose to have a small gathering and catching up. And it worked. When there’s food, it always works with guys. Soon after, we, except for Din and Ijam, decided to hit a round of bowling at Cosmic Bowl Mid Valley. After a few lucky bowls towards the end, I managed to scrape second place of 85 points after initially occupying last place at the beginning. Hadi took first with a total of 117 points. He obviously had practice sessions with his girlfriend. For the rest of us, it was probably the second time in our lives to be at a bowling alley. I know it was for me.

We find ourselves at the parking lot at around 12.30 am. All of them decided to head home but I find midnight still too early to call it a night. Fortunately, Gambit called for another Winning 11 tourney at my place. Well, game on.

At around 2 am, Ridhu, Gambit and 2lang arrived and it wasn’t long before we find ourselves engrossed in front of the TV screen with joypads in our hands. We had 2 tournaments of 4 teams and I ended up 3rd and 4th respectively. My Barcelona notched up a win, a draw and a lost while my Totti-led Roma drew one and lost the rest. This was obvious proof that my Winning 11 skills still need a lot of work. Our sessions ended at around 6 am and only then did I felt it was time to draw the curtains to a close. Although, it’s already a brand new day for most people in the world. And since I made a promise to go to Perak that very afternoon, my sleeping time was really limited.

I managed to get 4 hours of sleep and by the time I woke up, the house was already buzzing for the Taman Harmonis housewives gathering which my mother will be hosting this time around. It’s a fortnightly meeting I think and my house is the ‘lucky’ candidate this weekend. So my mother was busy preparing laksa, apple pie and fruit pudding among others. It made me feel guilty somehow for me to leave the scene to go brouhaha somewhere in Perak. But then again, I am not the kind of guy who likes to go around breaking promises. So, as I left home, depriving my mother of moral support and a helping son, another journey awaits me.

My destination was Teluk Batik. A girl was having a barbeque party by the beach to celebrate her birthday and I was cordially invited. That girl goes by the name of Fira. I don’t usually attend birthday parties so far away but a beach party sounds too enticing.

So there I was, heading to Teluk Batik. But I wasn’t heading alone. I’ll be making a slight detour to pick up a passenger to keep me company during the journey. But she was more than a passenger. I received my invitation through her. And she is Aritha. Ah yes, just me and Aritha. Sadly though, we will be the only invited guests coming from outside of Perak. The rest of the Febeles group couldn’t make it. Either they are living too far away or had other matters to attend to. The fact that it was Aritha who invited me was one of the reasons that I am willing to travel so far out to attend a birthday party. The sound of her voice tells you how badly she needed a break from the city life. And who am I to be if not to realize that wish of hers? Back to that familiar scenario, aren’t we? Oh yes, Faizad Male Escorts, at your service.

Our journey to Perak was, well, I wouldn’t say uneventful. To start off, she did give me a little bit of stick for arriving at her place an hour late. I had to make a last minute visit to the local grocery store to pick up some onions for my mother just when I was about to leave the house. I even had my RM2 ala cowboy hat on. Okay, it’s not really mine. It’s Sasa’s which I borrowed for, I don’t know, maybe more than a year now. Anyway, initially I thought this trip will take about 4 hours. But we did it in 5 because, due to some persistent persuasion I had succumbed to Aritha’s idea of being a little bit ‘adventurous’. So after a brief at Tapah’s R&R where we grabbed some food and at the same time satisfied Aritha’s craving for ‘mee kari’, we took the Tapah exit and hoping to find a short cut to Teluk Batik, bypassing Gopeng and Batu Gajah, and coming out through Sitiawan by the means of Tapah Road. But as expected, things don’t always go according to plan because at one point, we did find ourselves unintentionally heading back to Kuala Lumpur. We only realize we were thrown off-course by the time we realize we were driving through Bidor, which indicated we were moving South rather than North-West. But we managed to recover our bearings but we never did found Tapah Road. All this should trigger my male genes with annoyance and frustration but surprisingly, I find the experience quite interesting. The highway does provide a quick and efficient traveling mean but it’s also very dull. Meanwhile, the old roads have more life to it. Along the way we came across small villages, some paddy fields and acres of oil palm plantations, which is the only mind-numbing side to this ‘adventurous’ gig.

We finally reached our destination at around 8 pm. By then it was obviously too dark to have a dip in the sea. But that didn’t stop us. Although I myself only dared to dip my feet, people like Izzu and Aritha still couldn’t resist to go all the way albeit the closure of public facilities to provide fresh water for rinsing purposes since sunset. This may sound funny but standing by the seaside in the dark while small waves rolled against the beach is a calming experience. The cool breeze only adds to the delight. It’s just you, the sea, a few small time fishermen in their boats a little far out, the stars and the moon.

We finally had our barbeque feast later on and the usual chit-chatting that ensues. I kept quiet because most of time I couldn’t understand what they’re talking about. I guess being the only straight guy in the group tends to result that way. But nevertheless, their conversation can be interesting and fun, and I sometimes find myself laughing for no apparent reason.

As we drift later into the night, the plan was to slowly pack up and head back to UTP. A good 50 minute journey too. But, almost half-expectedly, everyone except for a few suddenly felt too malas to endure the long trip and probably too buoyed by the ocean breeze that a new plan to spend the night at the beach suddenly popped out of the blue. To me the plan sounds outrageous but exciting nevertheless. To be fair, my 4 hours of sleeping time the night before and the long drive from KL also began to take its toll on me. I didn’t think I was 100% fit for the drive back to UTP. So while most of the group head out to find a place to spend the night, I and a few others stayed back at ‘camp’. But since mosquitoes began to attack us relentlessly, we decided to pack things up while waiting the other group’s return. “It’s easier to kemas when there are fewer people around,”
I guess that’s true. But when I said ‘we’, I didn’t really include ‘me’ in that paraphrase. Because I didn’t know what to do that could help. They look so effective cleaning up that I was afraid of being a nuisance by just trying to lend a hand. But now when thinking about it, that does sounds rather selfish and foolish of me.

Anyhow, after, I think close to half an hour, the venture group returned and bearing, I suppose good news. They found an available chalet nearby. So it’s done then, we’re spending the night.

The chalet is nothing elaborate. There are a few beds, an air-conditioning unit, a dressing table and a side table. No TV, no closet. But it’s sufficient. We just want to have a place to sleep. But the funny thing is, nobody except for Aritha and me were properly prepared to have a sleepover. We had our toiletries and extra clothes with us but for the rest, what they had was what they were wearing. But I didn’t think that deterred them much. Which now leads me to Ezy.

Ezy is the other straight girl apart from Aritha in that group that night although she had to detest the notion that she’s a lesbian all night long just because she had short hair. Ezy is quite the lovely girl. I’ll give her a 7 out of 10. Fair complexion and a figure that would turn any man’s head. Although she does have a rasping personality. All evening, she had a baby-T and a burgundy pareo on. If this wasn’t already a delight to see, imagine my gaping expression when she asked me for my extra shorts as she had nothing else to wear for the night. At that point only a fool would turn such a request down. To see your shorts on a bodyline as good as Ezy’s would only make you think, “Oh God, that looks incredibly sexy”. I had this silly grin on me throughout the night. If only nights like these would come more often. The only downside was that I didn’t get to sleep beside her.

Come morning, the other outrageous plan to go to Pangkor was scrapped because everyone woke up at 11 am. Surprise, surprise. So we only had time to pick ourselves up, check-out and had lunch at Lumut. I haven’t been to Lumut for quite some time and it’s pleasant to see that the new jetty is in place and running. It poses a stark improvement. It looks better and proper. And I think the bustling weekend crowd gladly appreciates it.

We head back to UTP at around 3 pm. I decided against returning straight to KL because it was just too warm for a long drive it’s uncomfortable. Besides, how bad can an afternoon at UTP can be? While I dropped off Aritha at V3 for her to grab a drink with some guy and head to Fira’s later on, I made my way to V4. I was walking towards Izzu’s place when I thought of Ara. As I dialed her number, I could only hope she’s in UTP. It turned out I wasn’t so lucky. She was all the way at Shah Alam and would only probably be at UTP by nightfall. I was hoping to be on the highway on my way back come by then so that’s scuppered. I try to think of someone else, preferably a hot looking girl that I could ask for an evening drink but to no avail. There’s no one else. I thought of Siti Nabilah but fat chance of that happening. Well, I guess a chat with Izzu would do. And that was what I ended up doing. Although Arip was also present. Finally someone I can talk about man stuff with.

It’s about 6.30 pm that I asked Arip to be whisked around UTP since being stuck indoors seems boring. So off we went to the field for the Inter-Village Sports Tournament. Funny, UTP looks deserted and I asked Arip why. He said that most of the students just received their tri-monthly scholarships last Thursday so chances they are throwing cash all around Ipoh. Bummer. There I was hoping for a crowd and yet there was none.

Upon arrival at the field it struck me that that was the first time I set foot on the new field since its upgrading. It now even has 2 proper futsal courts. Very impressive though I doubt it’s enough. Futsal is the new crave nowadays and 2 just ain’t enough. But matter suddenly turned worse when the event had already ended by the time Arip and I reached there. What was left was the prize-giving ceremony. Well, it’s better than nothing so we stayed. As we chilled I noticed how peaceful UTP is. There’s this huge open field, there’s the blowing wind, clear skies and laughter in the background. There are no skyscrapers in sight and the speeding vehicles in the distance are more visual than auditory nuisance. Being so long away from UTP I didn’t realize what I was missing. The breather from the hectic life of KL suddenly felt so welcoming. Freshmans won the overall title (again, not surprisingly) but to me chilling at the sides was the highlight.

As the time indicates way past 7, I guess it’s time to bid UTP au revoir. If I’m lucky, I could make it home just in time for Liverpool vs. Chelsea. So I messaged Aritha telling to get ready but she suggested we have dinner first. Hmm, I guess that’ll be fine. I was feeling hungry too anyway. Maybe I’ll just catch Final Score. Besides, it’s probably going to be another dull 0-0.

So we had our dinner at the place in front of UTP’s main entrance. The place where they once had this awesome nasi telur bungkus. I said ‘once’ because it’s now no longer awesome. It’s still quite good but it used to be better. And then, while we having dinner, the most unexpected thing happened. Siti Nabilah walked in. It was like the most refreshing view I had in a long time. She no longer had that permed hair of hers. It’s now back to her long straight. But still beautiful nonetheless. She wasn’t having dinner there but just ‘tapau’ing. With her jeans and t-shirt accompanying her black-framed glasses, I’m guessing she’s preparing for a good night of studying. She’s a brilliant student. Last time I checked, her CGPA was in the first-class zone. Brain and beauty. The 2B criteria. Just awesome. Of course, I didn’t have the nerve to walk up to her and strike a conversation. I was in such a mess I was in no condition to make a good first impression. Looking at a mirror, I would probably run away from myself. So I ended up just appreciating from afar. So close yet so far. Miss so-out-of-my-league. Well, the bare sight of her is the only thing I could hope for. Twice I’ve been back to UTP this year and on both occasion I get to catch a glimpse of her. I would deem that as very lucky. Striking a conversation would amount to a pandemonium. Seeing her drive off in her grey Kancil would probably be the last time I’ll see her. Unless Lady Luck has other ideas.

After dinner, it was definitely time to head home. It’s already 9.30 pm. Anfield will be missed. We had our goodbyes and we hit the open roads once again. This time there’s no adventurous gig. I just wanna get home with no surprises. And since Aritha made slight fun of me earlier for driving too slow on the way back from Lumut, I had to step on the throttle a bit more. Which in turn capitates me more of my conversation ability. As you’d probably know, guys really have trouble multi-tasking, especially when it involves driving. The point I was driving slower was so that I can have a decent conversation. And since I wasn’t a big help then imagine my condition now. That fact that it was raining didn’t help either. So it ended up once again with Aritha doing all the talking while I could only do the listening. It annoyed her, of course but what to do? To me, just having her in the passenger seat already gave me much comfort but I could understand her frustration.

We reached Bandar Utama close to midnight. Aritha was in a slight hurry to get into the house as she has to go to work the next day. For me, I was just tired from the driving but felt personally pleased that Valerie had been a good girl throughout the journey.

As I watched Aritha walked into her sister’s house, I couldn’t help but appreciate how much I enjoyed Aritha’s company. I wish there could be more occasions such as these. Breathing in the silent air I dialed Gambit’s number, hoping for another chilling session. But she’s with Mawar. Haih, Mawar, Mawar. I guess there’s nothing left but to head back home myself.

The half hour trip back was unusually silent without Aritha’s voice constantly entertaining me with her stories. Thankfully the road was clear so there wasn’t much hassle with the traffic. Overall I think it was quite a successful trip. I had fun and that’s the most important part. And I have the whole of Monday to recover. Lucky me. Oh by the way, Chelsea trounced Liverpool at Anfield 4-1. As a consolation, I managed to catch Geremi’s goal just in time.

Indonesian Beauties

Look at that. From the left, Ratu Felisha, Claudia Cintya Bella and Masayu Arastasyu. Absolutely gorgeous. Indonesian actresses, currently in Malaysia in conjuction with the 50th Asia Pacific Film Festival. To be honest, I've never heard of them before and how I wish I did. I think this reiterates the notion of how Indonesians can be of stunning beauty. I may be a less patriotic but right now I couldn't think of any 3 Malaysian actresses that could match this mesmerizing ensemble. Sure we do have some beauties but most of them are originally models who turned out to be not-so-good actresses. I don't know about these girls either but on presence alone, I'd give them pretty high marks. And very beautiful names to go along with them, don't you think?