Najua: The Final Chapter

Oh God it feels awful, doesn’t it? Coming back after a long Raya break. Kind of feels like school again. And we tell the children to buck up. Tsk tsk shame on us. Well, for me, I was already back at the office since last Thursday so excuse me for not sharing your extra strong, double caffeinated Monday blues for today. I went past that phase last week. Much so when I had to spend my third Raya in the vicinity of Northport, Klang. Land of bad roads, oversized trailers and crow infested landfills. So don’t even talk to me about post-Raya depression.

Talking about depression, man, do I have something to tell you people. The subject on hand is none other than about the girl that I have been raving about for the past months. The girl that goes by the name of Najua.

Yes, maybe some of you have gotten tired of me talking about her and I promise you that this will probably be the last time I’ll mention her name on this blog. At least, I hope so. Because I said the exact same thing about Eiwa a few years back and look how well that turned out. Man, I really have to do something about my obsession with obsessions. Nice pun, huh? Anyway, okay, I admit, Najua is an obsession. No need to fuck around about that anymore. Screw all false pretences. Time for some cold hard truth.

I’m gonna lay it plain and simple. Najua is with Paul. Yes, by ‘with’ I mean as ‘in a relationship’, okay? Get the message? I, of course, am fucking disappointed. No, make that before. Before, I was disappointed. As for now…, now I am upset. And moving towards outrage. It’s not so much that I lost the battle for her, but I lost to a middle-aged, not-so-good-looking bloke from England with a receding hairline. I mean, seriously, what does he have that I don’t? Well, apart from money and power, that is. Oh wait, that’s probably it. Fucking money! And befriending the owner of the company to whom you work for which happens to be the girl's uncle! Oh how could I’ve been so blind!? Oh yeah, sure, and people tell me it’s love. Ah fuck love! What’s love gotta to do with it? It's all about those nifty little notes which comes with the Agung's face on it. You see what’s going on here? You see? This is why, this is exactly why good people like us have a hard time falling in love. These women, the same group of women who constantly complains about no being able to find a good man anymore these days could not spot one even when he is standing right under their noses. Besides, Paul’s penis is probably too big for her anyway. Najua is like Amy Mastura, y'see. She’s 4' 11'', this Najua, and Paul is like Sam Allardyce. Now, unless you’re a porn star, you and I know that spells incompatibility all over. You can’t shove a white board marker into a pencil sharpener. Something will get broken. And it won’t be a pretty sight.

I’m bitter. And I have every right to be bitter! But you know what? No one is to blame in this thing. Not Najua nor Paul. They’re just two confused individuals who during their ignorant endeavours on life, has left me hurt. Well, I’ve tasted even worse emotional pains before but this does hurt nevertheless.

I guess the situation now begs the question – what now? I still could go out with Najua – as friends, whatever fuck that means. But I’m certain she’ll try her very best to bring that old lugger Paul along. So, might as well forget about that. And to tell you the truth, he's not that funny. You know, lately, a few of my friends asked me what if Najua ever finds out about my blog. Well, before this I would’ve reacted in a horrified manner screaming “Oh fuck!! God forbid for that ever to happen!”. But now, if it does happens, I could calmly say that I couldn’t care less. As a matter of fact, I think it’d be better if she does finds out. So here’s to you, Najua, if you ever stumble upon this. Najua, you’re an amazing woman with such great potential in life and it is such a huge disappointed that you should fall for someone like Paul. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how wrong you are for each other. Sure, you’ve known Paul a long time and you probably think, hey, what’s wrong with that? Well, nothing, really. But don’t you think it’d be better if he’s twenty years younger? I don’t know about your family but if my sister comes home one day with someone who my father think is old enough to be his brother then I think he’ll have a heart attack then and there. As for me, I’d sell one of my kidneys just to get a smuggled gun to off him.

Najua, Najua, oh Najua. How could you even think that you will find no one else after your ex? I’d say 8 out of 10 guys will confess to how beautiful you actually are. And the other 2 are Ridhu and Watai. And it’s not as if you’re a bimbo. You have a degree for God’s sake. You tell me yourself how proud you are of that fact and yet, your actions contradicts everything that you’ve said to me. All I’m saying is as much as you favour Paul, I really do think you deserve someone better. And it may not even be me but to pick Paul without even glancing at me? I take that as a personal insult. Of all your admirable qualities, Najua, your most notable weakness is probably your naïvity. The same trait that lead you to self-denial that your ex was really cheating on you and now, that you and Paul could actually have a future together. But maybe you will find happiness eventually. Hey, I’m glad if I’m wrong in saying that but I assure you it’ll be a journey full of hardship.

(sigh) My final say? Good luck to you, Najua. I just hope it’s a bigger lost for me than it is for you.

Now, for any one of you who now even much as think about notifying Najua about the existence of this blog by the time you've finished reading this, by the hair of a midget circus bear named Ralph, I forbid you. If Najua should ever find about this blog, it has to be self-discovery. I don’t care if it takes ten years from now before she even read this but, people, promise me this - no telling, no matter what. Unless if Sandra finds out about this first then the moment of truth would probably come sooner rather than later. I sincerely believe that woman is completely incapable of keeping a secret.

It’s enough that older men are aftering women my age, but a foreigner? Fuck this is just too much. Then what we local young men are left with? The ex-wives of the older men whom they left behind? What am I? Ashton Kutcher? I don’t care how good they still look. I don’t want used products! Damn these Hollywood trends. And we just blindly assume they’re cool. Well, aren’t we the clever ones.

Let’s close this chapter on Najua. She is no longer an issue. Well, at least it has been fun talking about her. It did give some direction to my blog for a while. Now that she’s become unavailable once again, I have no main issue to pursue anymore. Maybe I should attend more parties. But they always put on such terrible songs. When would they realize that Justin Timberlake actually couldn’t sing? And the same goes to Ashlee Simpson. And don’t even get me started on Paris Hilton.

Anyway, even though it has ended painfully (for me, at least) I thank you, Najua, for giving me hope and then crushing it to pieces, and to serve as an inspiration to It’s A Guy Thing albeit momentarily. And screw you, Paul.