Love,Marriage and Babies

There comes a time when a person has reached a certain age when he or she has to consider about marriage. I never knew that age would be 22.

As I look around, more and more people that I know are beginning to get married. Some of them are still planning while others are already expecting their first newborn.

Somehow, between the last millennium and this one, the “right” age of 27-ish seemed too late. What is the point of getting married when you barely have a firm financial plan for the future? Love? Oh please…”love” is the most overrated word in the world. Reality check: love does NOT conquer all. We are certainly buoyed up by romance novels and Hollywood movies that when we do get married, the next certain thing would be to live happily after. Well, that is not the case. Ever wonder why those classic love stories always end when the couple decides to live together for the rest of their lives? That’s because after the settling down, there is no drama. There is no chasing. There is no “you jump, I’ll jump”. There is no “you complete me”. What most probably will happen is, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”.

Being in love is one thing. To get married is a whole different matter. I would like to think marriage as the day you proclaim to your parents that you are ready to face the world on your own. You will get a job and provide food and shelter for your family. All of this responsibility will be rested on your shoulders. At least, that is from a man’s point of view. Women has to take care of her husband and most importantly, the offspring. That is even a deeper level. Raising a baby is about raising another human being. There is no easy way about it. There is no “Raising babies for dummies” book.

The point is I am too young to get married. I know that but there are some people around me, people who are close to me, who does not seem to realize that. That worries me. It worries me that they will only realize their mistake a little too late. And when that happens, I hate to be the one to say, “I told you so”.

At this point I already have a close friend and a cousin who has gotten married recently and they both are expecting their first child sometime next year. As a friend and a cousin, my job is to support them and say, “that’s good news!” with a big fat fucking smile on my face but the truth is I just want to yell, “Are you outta your freakin’ mind?”. I know for a fact they sure as hell don’t the financial resources to support a child and I willing to bet that the new grandparents will have to aid. Of course, they would love to coz it’s their kids. No matter how bullshit it seems to other people.

This is not the first time I have seen the so called being-in-love thing ruined people’s lives. I know many and personally colleagues of mine at the university who have failed subjects because, instead of studying, they prefer to go out on dates and have hours of late night phone calls. In the end, when everybody else is planning what to wear for graduation day, they are pondering what courses to register next semester. Sad? It’s just plain pathetic.

Being in love is fine, actually. But up to the point it dictates ur life and changed the course of it? I don’t think so. Sometimes people get so entwined chasing what they want that they forget the things that they already have. This is so much truer than we would like to admit.