It's just...

Hari Raya is supposed to be about joy and happiness. Everyone knows that. Even the little ones. But have we ever stop for awhile and think about the people who don’t have the luxury of celebrating Raya? I used to. Once in awhile. But I never imagined the agony that comes with it until I myself became one of those people. Raya this time around came at such a bad time that I have no choice but to pretend to be happy at times just so to be in the festive mood like everyone else. People who celebrate Christmas has nickname called The Grinch and I don’t intend to be one for Raya.
Raya came in the middle of my Final Exams period. My car had to be sent to the workshop on the day I planned to drive back to KL. My FYP is still giving me headaches and these are just some of my problems. It doesn’t seem much but already I have a hard time coping. Then, I thought about the other Malaysians who were unfortunately unable to properly celebrate Raya. I thought about the policemen who had to set up roadblocks along the North-South highway so that people would remember to obey the speed limit. I thought about the TV show host who had to entertain the people of this country on the 1st morning of Syawal. How about those people at Telekom, Jabatan Air and Tenaga Nasional even? People would naturally expect that problems with phone lines, water supply and electricity to be absent but certainly want them to be gone immediately should the problems show up. And who could ever dismiss the 17-year-olds taking SPM? No one except themselves and their respective parents and guardians. I have a cousin who was in that position and all the other relatives could ask the first they see him was, “How is your SPM?’. I know that my cousin is not a 10 A student so I pretty much understand the awkwardness when he could only answer, “It’s OK”. Isn’t the torture enough already? It’s painful to have a major exam in the middle of Raya but to be constantly reminded of it? Jeopardizing the joyful feeling one supposed to be having at this time around? Some people have a strange way of making an acquaintance.
And the most painful incident that could happen when it comes to Raya is a death of a family member. I’m sure most of you have heard the morbid reminders going around on television sets and radio waves but those moments only last as long as those reminders were played. It’s true that this is the first time in 7 years my elder brother is celebrating Raya with the rest of the family. It’s also true that this is the first time ever my grandfather is not here to celebrate with us. It hit me quite hard. But not as hard as it hit my grandmother. Even though she is not the most compassionate of wives but for once I could sense how much she actually misses him. But there’s nothing I, her or anyone could do. Life just moves on. I have a distant uncle who lost his wife years back during Ramadhan. She died in her sleep and he only realize that when he tried to wake her up for sahur one morning. She left behind 4 daughters. My uncle was quite the joker once but not since then. He is a changed man. Everything became much more serious. It does that to a person. People say the toughest job in the world is being a parent. The only thing that could beat that is being a single parent. These events alone have kept me thinking so I cannot begin to imagine the amount of agony but for the unlucky people who lost their loved ones just days before or even during Raya celebrations. Especially when it involves a terrible death.

Fortunately though, bad times don’t have to last forever. Things will change and there’s always thing called hope. As for me, well, I should be returning to my normal self by the end of December. Hopefully, greener pastures waits ahead.