I have been raised with the notion that a man is the head of his family. The leader. The king. Up to this day, that is true…mostly.
But of course, this is the scenario AFTER the marriage thing. Before that, I’m afraid the same cannot be said. We, gentlemen, are on the losing end.
Let’s star from the beginning shall we? At the courting stage…flirting, wooing, mengurat, whatever you may call it, let me ask you this, who is doing all the chasing? The men, of course. That seems normal enough, right? Because that is what has been going on since the Stone Age. But this is no longer the Stone Age. Back then, when the men chose, the women obeys and follows him. Nowadays, however, the power to choose has transferred to the hands of women. Nowadays, the men simply propose while the women have the right to say “yes” or “no”. Such simple words yet tremendous consequences. Men would run around crazy day and night, thinking about “The One” and buying her gifts and remembering her birthday. In the end, when the moment of truth comes and the guy finally gathered up the courage to ask The Question of, “Would you be my girlfriend?”. 8 out of 10 she will say “no”. Reason? Plenty. There’s, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “It’s not you, it’s me” and the all new classic of the new era, “I thought we were just gonna be friends..”. when the cold hard truth is either we are not good looking enough, not rich enough or just plain not good enough. You’d think if a person like Prince William asked the same person the same question she would still say “no”? Even if she were 5 months pregnant I’m willing to bet she would have no doubts saying “Yes!! Oh God, yess!!”. For the 2 out of 10 that WILL say “yes” is either because the guy said the right things what the girl wanted to hear or it came out of self pity.
Let’s say the guy DID get the girl and they are in a lovey-dovey relationship. You still think the guy has the upper hand? Think again. When THAT time of the month comes, which every healthy woman experiences, the guy is always on the receiving end. Always. No matter how you look at it. Mood swings would be the least of your problems. Saturday night football? Say goodbye to them because Saturday night is when you spend time with your girlfriend considering every other weekdays you are both busy with each other’s lives. Do you think she will give a damn if Juventus came to the Nou Camp? Or when David Beckham returns to Old Trafford? Those weekend nights will be filled with movies like Titanic and Sleepless In Seattle. And we’re not even talking about the anniversary or the mourning in remembrance of her dead cat. Oh, and her birthday. God forbid you to ever forget that day. If you do, then it will be no talk let alone a smile for the next 2 weeks. In the event of you taking her to a restaurant for a so-called romantic dinner, may it be known to you that preference will be on her side. We guys are easy because we eat anything. As for girls, well, make sure she knows what sushi is before you start taking her to Nippon Tei. A woman’s taste buds are unpredictable. Italian may be her favorite this week but she may hate it the next. You may take her to a fancy $100 per head restaurant but she may just order the salad because she had an apple that morning and she’s still quite full. And how about the gifts? For every 10 gifts we give to them, we are lucky to get 1 in return. Extra lucky if that one is not your birthday present.
Gentlemen, unlike what we want to believe, women are taking control over us. Who do you think came up with the “every man has a feminine side to him”? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a man. Last week I saw a picture of Sylvester Stallone wearing a pink shirt. Pink, for God’s sake! This is Rambo we’re talking here! The epitome of men.
As much I would like to believe otherwise, the dignity of men is on the downslide. And women say we are commitment phobic? I’d say we have every right to.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Love,Marriage and Babies
There comes a time when a person has reached a certain age when he or she has to consider about marriage. I never knew that age would be 22.
As I look around, more and more people that I know are beginning to get married. Some of them are still planning while others are already expecting their first newborn.
Somehow, between the last millennium and this one, the “right” age of 27-ish seemed too late. What is the point of getting married when you barely have a firm financial plan for the future? Love? Oh please…”love” is the most overrated word in the world. Reality check: love does NOT conquer all. We are certainly buoyed up by romance novels and Hollywood movies that when we do get married, the next certain thing would be to live happily after. Well, that is not the case. Ever wonder why those classic love stories always end when the couple decides to live together for the rest of their lives? That’s because after the settling down, there is no drama. There is no chasing. There is no “you jump, I’ll jump”. There is no “you complete me”. What most probably will happen is, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”.
Being in love is one thing. To get married is a whole different matter. I would like to think marriage as the day you proclaim to your parents that you are ready to face the world on your own. You will get a job and provide food and shelter for your family. All of this responsibility will be rested on your shoulders. At least, that is from a man’s point of view. Women has to take care of her husband and most importantly, the offspring. That is even a deeper level. Raising a baby is about raising another human being. There is no easy way about it. There is no “Raising babies for dummies” book.
The point is I am too young to get married. I know that but there are some people around me, people who are close to me, who does not seem to realize that. That worries me. It worries me that they will only realize their mistake a little too late. And when that happens, I hate to be the one to say, “I told you so”.
At this point I already have a close friend and a cousin who has gotten married recently and they both are expecting their first child sometime next year. As a friend and a cousin, my job is to support them and say, “that’s good news!” with a big fat fucking smile on my face but the truth is I just want to yell, “Are you outta your freakin’ mind?”. I know for a fact they sure as hell don’t the financial resources to support a child and I willing to bet that the new grandparents will have to aid. Of course, they would love to coz it’s their kids. No matter how bullshit it seems to other people.
This is not the first time I have seen the so called being-in-love thing ruined people’s lives. I know many and personally colleagues of mine at the university who have failed subjects because, instead of studying, they prefer to go out on dates and have hours of late night phone calls. In the end, when everybody else is planning what to wear for graduation day, they are pondering what courses to register next semester. Sad? It’s just plain pathetic.
Being in love is fine, actually. But up to the point it dictates ur life and changed the course of it? I don’t think so. Sometimes people get so entwined chasing what they want that they forget the things that they already have. This is so much truer than we would like to admit.
As I look around, more and more people that I know are beginning to get married. Some of them are still planning while others are already expecting their first newborn.
Somehow, between the last millennium and this one, the “right” age of 27-ish seemed too late. What is the point of getting married when you barely have a firm financial plan for the future? Love? Oh please…”love” is the most overrated word in the world. Reality check: love does NOT conquer all. We are certainly buoyed up by romance novels and Hollywood movies that when we do get married, the next certain thing would be to live happily after. Well, that is not the case. Ever wonder why those classic love stories always end when the couple decides to live together for the rest of their lives? That’s because after the settling down, there is no drama. There is no chasing. There is no “you jump, I’ll jump”. There is no “you complete me”. What most probably will happen is, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”.
Being in love is one thing. To get married is a whole different matter. I would like to think marriage as the day you proclaim to your parents that you are ready to face the world on your own. You will get a job and provide food and shelter for your family. All of this responsibility will be rested on your shoulders. At least, that is from a man’s point of view. Women has to take care of her husband and most importantly, the offspring. That is even a deeper level. Raising a baby is about raising another human being. There is no easy way about it. There is no “Raising babies for dummies” book.
The point is I am too young to get married. I know that but there are some people around me, people who are close to me, who does not seem to realize that. That worries me. It worries me that they will only realize their mistake a little too late. And when that happens, I hate to be the one to say, “I told you so”.
At this point I already have a close friend and a cousin who has gotten married recently and they both are expecting their first child sometime next year. As a friend and a cousin, my job is to support them and say, “that’s good news!” with a big fat fucking smile on my face but the truth is I just want to yell, “Are you outta your freakin’ mind?”. I know for a fact they sure as hell don’t the financial resources to support a child and I willing to bet that the new grandparents will have to aid. Of course, they would love to coz it’s their kids. No matter how bullshit it seems to other people.
This is not the first time I have seen the so called being-in-love thing ruined people’s lives. I know many and personally colleagues of mine at the university who have failed subjects because, instead of studying, they prefer to go out on dates and have hours of late night phone calls. In the end, when everybody else is planning what to wear for graduation day, they are pondering what courses to register next semester. Sad? It’s just plain pathetic.
Being in love is fine, actually. But up to the point it dictates ur life and changed the course of it? I don’t think so. Sometimes people get so entwined chasing what they want that they forget the things that they already have. This is so much truer than we would like to admit.
Monday, November 22, 2004
It's just...
Hari Raya is supposed to be about joy and happiness. Everyone knows that. Even the little ones. But have we ever stop for awhile and think about the people who don’t have the luxury of celebrating Raya? I used to. Once in awhile. But I never imagined the agony that comes with it until I myself became one of those people. Raya this time around came at such a bad time that I have no choice but to pretend to be happy at times just so to be in the festive mood like everyone else. People who celebrate Christmas has nickname called The Grinch and I don’t intend to be one for Raya.
Raya came in the middle of my Final Exams period. My car had to be sent to the workshop on the day I planned to drive back to KL. My FYP is still giving me headaches and these are just some of my problems. It doesn’t seem much but already I have a hard time coping. Then, I thought about the other Malaysians who were unfortunately unable to properly celebrate Raya. I thought about the policemen who had to set up roadblocks along the North-South highway so that people would remember to obey the speed limit. I thought about the TV show host who had to entertain the people of this country on the 1st morning of Syawal. How about those people at Telekom, Jabatan Air and Tenaga Nasional even? People would naturally expect that problems with phone lines, water supply and electricity to be absent but certainly want them to be gone immediately should the problems show up. And who could ever dismiss the 17-year-olds taking SPM? No one except themselves and their respective parents and guardians. I have a cousin who was in that position and all the other relatives could ask the first they see him was, “How is your SPM?’. I know that my cousin is not a 10 A student so I pretty much understand the awkwardness when he could only answer, “It’s OK”. Isn’t the torture enough already? It’s painful to have a major exam in the middle of Raya but to be constantly reminded of it? Jeopardizing the joyful feeling one supposed to be having at this time around? Some people have a strange way of making an acquaintance.
And the most painful incident that could happen when it comes to Raya is a death of a family member. I’m sure most of you have heard the morbid reminders going around on television sets and radio waves but those moments only last as long as those reminders were played. It’s true that this is the first time in 7 years my elder brother is celebrating Raya with the rest of the family. It’s also true that this is the first time ever my grandfather is not here to celebrate with us. It hit me quite hard. But not as hard as it hit my grandmother. Even though she is not the most compassionate of wives but for once I could sense how much she actually misses him. But there’s nothing I, her or anyone could do. Life just moves on. I have a distant uncle who lost his wife years back during Ramadhan. She died in her sleep and he only realize that when he tried to wake her up for sahur one morning. She left behind 4 daughters. My uncle was quite the joker once but not since then. He is a changed man. Everything became much more serious. It does that to a person. People say the toughest job in the world is being a parent. The only thing that could beat that is being a single parent. These events alone have kept me thinking so I cannot begin to imagine the amount of agony but for the unlucky people who lost their loved ones just days before or even during Raya celebrations. Especially when it involves a terrible death.
Fortunately though, bad times don’t have to last forever. Things will change and there’s always thing called hope. As for me, well, I should be returning to my normal self by the end of December. Hopefully, greener pastures waits ahead.
Raya came in the middle of my Final Exams period. My car had to be sent to the workshop on the day I planned to drive back to KL. My FYP is still giving me headaches and these are just some of my problems. It doesn’t seem much but already I have a hard time coping. Then, I thought about the other Malaysians who were unfortunately unable to properly celebrate Raya. I thought about the policemen who had to set up roadblocks along the North-South highway so that people would remember to obey the speed limit. I thought about the TV show host who had to entertain the people of this country on the 1st morning of Syawal. How about those people at Telekom, Jabatan Air and Tenaga Nasional even? People would naturally expect that problems with phone lines, water supply and electricity to be absent but certainly want them to be gone immediately should the problems show up. And who could ever dismiss the 17-year-olds taking SPM? No one except themselves and their respective parents and guardians. I have a cousin who was in that position and all the other relatives could ask the first they see him was, “How is your SPM?’. I know that my cousin is not a 10 A student so I pretty much understand the awkwardness when he could only answer, “It’s OK”. Isn’t the torture enough already? It’s painful to have a major exam in the middle of Raya but to be constantly reminded of it? Jeopardizing the joyful feeling one supposed to be having at this time around? Some people have a strange way of making an acquaintance.
And the most painful incident that could happen when it comes to Raya is a death of a family member. I’m sure most of you have heard the morbid reminders going around on television sets and radio waves but those moments only last as long as those reminders were played. It’s true that this is the first time in 7 years my elder brother is celebrating Raya with the rest of the family. It’s also true that this is the first time ever my grandfather is not here to celebrate with us. It hit me quite hard. But not as hard as it hit my grandmother. Even though she is not the most compassionate of wives but for once I could sense how much she actually misses him. But there’s nothing I, her or anyone could do. Life just moves on. I have a distant uncle who lost his wife years back during Ramadhan. She died in her sleep and he only realize that when he tried to wake her up for sahur one morning. She left behind 4 daughters. My uncle was quite the joker once but not since then. He is a changed man. Everything became much more serious. It does that to a person. People say the toughest job in the world is being a parent. The only thing that could beat that is being a single parent. These events alone have kept me thinking so I cannot begin to imagine the amount of agony but for the unlucky people who lost their loved ones just days before or even during Raya celebrations. Especially when it involves a terrible death.
Fortunately though, bad times don’t have to last forever. Things will change and there’s always thing called hope. As for me, well, I should be returning to my normal self by the end of December. Hopefully, greener pastures waits ahead.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Remember that pizza hut girl?
we got more bounce in california than all of u combined~we got more bounce in california than all of u combined~
this song reminds of the girl at pizza hut yesterday.putih,gebu,molek and just screams 'touch me!touch me!'.haih..believe it or not,that has to be the highlight of the week.things has been rough for the last few days.tests,assignments,presentations,final drafts,u name it..everything want to submit.i had a deadline everyday nearly for the whole of past week."ha?esok dah kena present?","kau dah buat assignment blum?","hoh?ade test 3?"..and the merungut statements just goes on and on.
as for today,well,today i was supposed to submit my final draft (since forever),but unfortunately, i arrived at block 1 a tad too late and maharaja Low already dah kebarangkatan pulang.i was just left standing there outside his glass cubicle,grasping the door handle and staring at his empty desk(clearly been kemas elok2 on his departure from the office).so,i guess i have to mengadap baginda tomorrow morning then.and i have to dress properly.at times like these,it is the least i could do.
it's 2am,wednesday morning.3rd november..i think i have something coming up this end of the week,now, what was it?oh yeah, that's right,my final exams...CVID this friday.goodnes gracious me..how could i have forgotten?oh wait,hold on,isn't there supposed to be some kind of study leave before the finals or anything like that?ops,again,slipped my mind..we don't HAVE that luxury this semester.study week?tsk tsk..
even my sleeping time is erratic lately.i have to readjust my biological clock just so that i dont fall asleep in the exam hall and make peta on my question papers.but at least my papers are all in the mornings,considering the bulan puasa thingy,so i guess it'll be ok.however, i still expect my stomach to make grumbling noises during those cold mornings..esp at MPH.fuck that place sure is freezing..
a piece of good news, the keling babi in front of my room(well,actually the 2nd floor) seems to have gone home.thank goodness.takdela aku kena dgr die buat kecoh2 2,3 o'clock in the morning.dahla main game,kalah,pastu buat bising2 cam riuh mak nenek.asses aa.ingat blok ni bapak kau punye?
haih..happy thoughts..happy thoughts..happy thoughts...hmm...c'mon postitive energy.damn..i cant think of any.ahh..there u go.even though it is actually just a dream from last night.or was it 2 nites ago?oh bother,nway,i cant get enough of her.everyday single day,mate.it's a curse i tell u.its haunting is bewitching.the fact that i am able to resist all this while is even more unbelievable.well,it's the least thing that could make me smile anytime,anywhere.an aphrodisiac?maybe.true?god,i wish it is so but sadly no.
hmm..raya on the 14th eh?mom's biskut cornflakes and choc chip cookies..now that's a happy thought! tambah pula dgn roast lamb leg and oven fresh lasagna...ooh..that is such a comforting thought.food n women..that's my niche actually.food n women.although,women n women is always a fun option.
find someone to love and live every day as though it's your last.
-words of wisdom-
this song reminds of the girl at pizza hut yesterday.putih,gebu,molek and just screams 'touch me!touch me!'.haih..believe it or not,that has to be the highlight of the week.things has been rough for the last few days.tests,assignments,presentations,final drafts,u name it..everything want to submit.i had a deadline everyday nearly for the whole of past week."ha?esok dah kena present?","kau dah buat assignment blum?","hoh?ade test 3?"..and the merungut statements just goes on and on.
as for today,well,today i was supposed to submit my final draft (since forever),but unfortunately, i arrived at block 1 a tad too late and maharaja Low already dah kebarangkatan pulang.i was just left standing there outside his glass cubicle,grasping the door handle and staring at his empty desk(clearly been kemas elok2 on his departure from the office).so,i guess i have to mengadap baginda tomorrow morning then.and i have to dress properly.at times like these,it is the least i could do.
it's 2am,wednesday morning.3rd november..i think i have something coming up this end of the week,now, what was it?oh yeah, that's right,my final exams...CVID this friday.goodnes gracious me..how could i have forgotten?oh wait,hold on,isn't there supposed to be some kind of study leave before the finals or anything like that?ops,again,slipped my mind..we don't HAVE that luxury this semester.study week?tsk tsk..
even my sleeping time is erratic lately.i have to readjust my biological clock just so that i dont fall asleep in the exam hall and make peta on my question papers.but at least my papers are all in the mornings,considering the bulan puasa thingy,so i guess it'll be ok.however, i still expect my stomach to make grumbling noises during those cold mornings..esp at MPH.fuck that place sure is freezing..
a piece of good news, the keling babi in front of my room(well,actually the 2nd floor) seems to have gone home.thank goodness.takdela aku kena dgr die buat kecoh2 2,3 o'clock in the morning.dahla main game,kalah,pastu buat bising2 cam riuh mak nenek.asses aa.ingat blok ni bapak kau punye?
haih..happy thoughts..happy thoughts..happy thoughts...hmm...c'mon postitive energy.damn..i cant think of any.ahh..there u go.even though it is actually just a dream from last night.or was it 2 nites ago?oh bother,nway,i cant get enough of her.everyday single day,mate.it's a curse i tell u.its haunting is bewitching.the fact that i am able to resist all this while is even more unbelievable.well,it's the least thing that could make me smile anytime,anywhere.an aphrodisiac?maybe.true?god,i wish it is so but sadly no.
hmm..raya on the 14th eh?mom's biskut cornflakes and choc chip cookies..now that's a happy thought! tambah pula dgn roast lamb leg and oven fresh lasagna...ooh..that is such a comforting thought.food n women..that's my niche actually.food n women.although,women n women is always a fun option.
find someone to love and live every day as though it's your last.
-words of wisdom-
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