A Sense Of Humour

I have a new theory. If you are fat and lazy like me, with no sign of doing anything that even resembles physical activity as of late, and then forced to run for 2.4 km out of the blue (up and down a hill if I might add), here me this. It will take you approximately 4 to 5 days for your calves to stop hurting and allow you to start walking normally again. Believe me, this theory is supported by an unwillingly done experiment recently. We spared no expense (just to quote Sir Richard Attenborough).

The question is, why in the world was I being made to run 2.4 km up and down a hill a few days ago? Or why was I dressed in a shirt and tie on a Sunday morning? Preaching about fog lights to an audience of about 20 people, which I guess mostly have no idea what fog lights are in the first place? Knowing very well indeed that I was up until 4 am the previous night celebrating Italy’s qualification to Euro 08 (unlike England! HAHAHAHAHA!!) alongside a girl named Ilyana, who happens to have very nice calves by the way, and as such to have a public speaking session the very next morning was probably not in my best interest. Then again, at the same time, it’s a session that I could not afford not to do well. But, in the end, it was all irrelevant really because when it comes to public speaking, I am a god. I was a god back then during orientation week at UTP and I am still am a god today, even better, judging by my performance last Sunday. It was the running part that I’m worried about. I think it is one of those karma things. The balance of nature, as they say. I’m particularly gifted in standing in front of an audience and captivating them even when the topic at hand is largely nonsensical but I turn absolutely horrid when it comes to physical endurance. But looking on the bright side is that I can do something about it. Kind of like that car bumper sticker. ‘I’m fat and you’re ugly but at least I can diet!’ Yes, ‘diet’. To me that’s a four letter word. I’m much more comfortable with the ‘f’ word. ‘Food’.

But of course, we are not going to talk about dieting or on how to stay healthy. Hell no. You have channel 733 for that. I have no intention of becoming the next Richard Simmons. Nor are we going to talk about what the hell I was referring to about all that running and public speaking I had to do. That, as in the words of Mr. Black, ‘will be divulged in good time’. Truthfully, what went on and its significance of it, is part of an ongoing process. Upon a successful completion, all matter will be revealed. If the outcome, however, turn unsuccessful, well then, I’m afraid you have to ask me in person the next time you see me, to get clarification, if you’re still interested at the point, you busybodies.

What we are going to talk about today is women. Ah yes, the primary purpose this blog ever made to live in the first place. For the sake of variety, I have written on diverse topics ranging from music, movies and even politics in the past. But nothing gives me more pleasure than talking about women. Not even football. Because women are such mysterious creatures to us men. Which leads to many sorts of questions and assumptions that may never see the end of it. And I hope we don’t ever. The mystery of it all has what kept it interesting all this while. I hope we continue to be baffled by a woman’s antics and their impalpable explanations. Because should we ever understood women and cracked one of the wonders of the universe, what happens next? What fun left to pursued and pondered? Nothing. And that is a very unnerving thought. But that is highly unlikely to happen anyway because you know why? Women themselves don’t know they are a mystery. As we, I reckon, as much of a mystery to them. Thus the search will continue in an infinite loop.

It is with this theme of opposing sides of man and woman that I want to approach the topic of sense of humor.

Now, we all know there is a wide range when we talk about humor. Every person out there belongs to a group of funny people or not so funny people, subjectively. And we tend to talk less to the unfunny people, again, subjectively. Especially the unfunny people who think they are funny. Faking a laugh can be so demeaning.

Then we integrate the question of gender. Take me for example. I’m a bloke who enjoys a certain type of humor. Then I meet another bloke who enjoys another type of humor. A type that thinks the resemblance of my name to the AF4 winner is something he finds amusing. To me such a comment just bordering on plain insulting. Chances are I would never speak to him again, ever. Surely I do not need another AF fan in my life, thank you very much. I would move on, end of story, and the thought would never bother me again. That, however, will all change should the subject turns out to be an incredibly attractive woman. An incredibly attractive woman who you want to know better of. Now, the tables are turned.

To be fair, men and women never quite enjoy the same kind of humor to start off with. But when multiple surveys that been done identified a sense of humor as one of the leading traits women look for in a man, then, gentlemen, I think it’s time we learn to adapt. But it’s going to be quite tricky.

Basic rules are, men love dirty jokes and women don’t. Well, maybe except during pajama parties. Even then, they still talk about fashion and shopping. Humor stems from the conversations we have. How else do you think we can come up with so much sex jokes?

To encroach the realms of the women psyche when it comes to funny things, you have to adjust and in most cases lower down your expectations for amusement. In other words, you have to be less funny if you want to talk to them and be annoyingly charming. And laugh at lesser jokes. This is the price you have to pay in order to gain the prize at stake. Which is, to score! Haha! But seriously, that is one way to look at it. But in general, if you want to talk to women by being friendly and funny, you can’t share the same jokes you have with your mates. Do that and they’ll automatically brandish you as rude. And we all know how women tend to forgive but never forget.

This revelation first occurred to me when I entered university. Something I wished I had experienced earlier on so I can come across this adaptability theory much sooner. But you know how it was. All male boarding school sort of thing. Which is good in a lot of sense, just not when it comes to the art of approaching women. But anyway, I began to grasp the concept much more vividly as time went on at the university. Which also pretty much explain my loath towards AF jokes, but that’s a different story. Women just seem to define humor in a different way than men do. And some of the jokes I’ve heard during one of those group conversations where women dictate play were, well, boring. And distasteful. Which I later realized why some of the guys I’ve met insisted on continuously being unfunny. They have been unconsciously brainwashed by the women they had intentionally intended to pursue. And some of them never recover. Poor people. They have become a mockery and don’t even realize it.

But not all women are like that. Some do share the same sense of humor like us men. I know I have my share bit. And if you do find someone like that and you fancy her, better make those intentions clear early on. If you decide to become friends be aware that that is a one way road. You could bring up the idea of romance later on but that is just unwise. Because ,one, you are boring, and two, you have to make it work. Because if you don’t, it’s not you, but your mutual friends will suffer. Just look at Ross and Rachel. When they broke up, who do you think had the worst bit? It was Joey, Chandler, Monica and Phoebe. While those two were bad mouthing each other, the rest had to be nice to both of them no matter what or how awkward. That is why falling in love with your friends is generally a bad idea. Which is why I was quite relieved when Kabi and Regina eventually tied the knot.

Anyway, coming back to the topic of humor, point is if you expect to find Mrs Right who would agree with you that Jackass is one of the top 10 movies of all time, be prepared to be disappointed. And even you already have this different mindset, adjusting your level of humor is easier said than done. I tried this too, a few weeks back, during Menon’s little BBQ party at his house. He had a few chicks coming in and they were quite the eye candies. Bubbly personalities, smell absolutely wonderful, flowing hair, simply a treat. I was typically excited. Then I was invited for a game of Taboo with them and I thought, well, this is a wonderful opportunity to get to know them better. And so I sat with them and started playing the game, which slowly turn into a bout of torture.

The things that find to be funny were just so unfunny to me. I couldn’t exactly recall what they were but I can remember being pretentiously amused by their banter. I was caught off-guard and stuck right in the middle of it. Fortunately the arrival of my SASOB mates gave me enough reason to flee the scene. And just in time too because Waris had joined in and there is no way I was going to drop to his level. I rather spent time with the boys than with a group of lovely girls. How wrong could that ever sound? The problem was not the girls because, honestly, I have heard worse sense of humor, but the act of lowering my amusement level was just too much to bear. Comedy is pretty much my life. To tone it down is like asking Messi to dribble less. It’s unheard of. And that experience has left me scarred and worried because I thought, was this the situation? I nearly wrote about that but thankfully didn’t at that time because something told me there was more to this. And rightfully so.

Last week I was invited to Hani’s surprise birthday party for Watai and it was such a blessing. For reasons, one, I now know that Kme has the capabilities to make a decent Tiramisu and two, there are still interesting women out there who do share our sense of humor. Maybe less perfume and not so flowing hair but still, a joy to get acquainted nonetheless. And to have met such an astonishing creature such as Ilyana who shares the same passion as me for the Italian football team was certainly an added bonus. I just hope Hani doesn’t get a hold of this. She might get the right ideas.

To sum it all up, it’s basically this. Men are just funnier than women.