When Reading Is Bad

When Ed Burns finally admitted that he had cheated on her in The Holiday, Cameron Diaz, in all her melodramatic and emotional wreck fashion, threw out him out, hit him in the face and decided to take a break and go somewhere for peace and quiet or whatever it is people go away for. And, while at it, read a good book because it has been a long time since she had done so. And this is the part in which I do not understand.

While do people insist on reading a good book while on their breaks, holidays or vacations? To me people read books for the same reason they go to the movies. (And I mean fiction books and not something by Alan Greenspan or Warren Buffet. That would be just messed up.)

It is a form of escapism these fictions are. To take you on a ride along with the main characters as they live out their impossibly exciting life. Be it jetting around Europe with Sheldon, sidestepping KGB spies with Ludlum or just, I imagine, shopping relentlessly with Kinsella.

I mean, I understand the purpose of a good book while you are at home, lounging on a Sunday afternoon and the idea of a driving to a shopping mall for a two-hour flick just seems like a lot of trouble. I understand that. But on a holiday? What do you want to escape from? Why do you want to escape?

I have seen people on the beaches of Batu Feringgi hunkered down with sunglasses on, shutting the world out around them and divulging themselves in a novel. Why? You are on a beach on a beautiful day! And you’re reading? Get into the water, rent a jet ski, try parasailing, anything except reading a book! You could do that during lunch breaks in your office. Don’t tell me you have a banana boat laying around the office that you are not at least curious about the one with screaming people on it currently zipping around the water?

As in the scene in The Holiday, as Cameron Diaz tried to get some sleep on her first-class seat, a tall stack of books lay beside her and among them is Atonement. It’s one thing to try to read a book while on vacation, but another when the title of choice couldn’t be more depressing. It’s a fantastic story, the Ian McEwan novel, no doubt, but why read on the hardships surrounding World War II on a trip you’re supposed to be having fun? Doesn’t that somehow defeat the purpose?

However, one thing that scene did something right is this. While it’s morally criminal to read a book while you’re under the sun on a beach somewhere in Greece, it is not necessarily wrong to bring a book along or some enjoyable reading material during these trips. And the only time these items are viable to be used upon are during the journeys. Think about it. A dreary 9 hour flight is an ideal situation for any form of escapism. My sister in law, a flight attendant by profession, once went on a flight to Detroit as a passenger and admitted she almost lost her mind by boredom that she’d be more than happy to put on a uniform and work with the cabin crew then and there.

So, here’s another It’s A Guy Thing tip. If you’re planning of a trip somewhere, leave all those heavy New York Times Bestsellers at home because one, it’ll be less burdening to carry your luggage around especially at the destination and two, probably save you from the extra cost of excess baggage. Instead, pack something lighter in its place which will offer you twice as much fun. Try swimwear.

The Appropriation: Anne Hathaway

Women, children, and fans of Anna Wintour, it's time to relinquish your hold. Ms. Hathaway is ours. Part of the world of men. Her responsibilities here are minimal. Singular, actually: to be appreciated. We've tried before, but Hathaway (or her agent -- we prefer to blame her) made it impossible. Or impossible to admit. The Princess Diaries? Ella Enchanted? The Devil Wears Prada? Which of those could we mention, much less extol her abilities in, over beers with our friends? She suggested she was crossing over with her nude scene in Havoc -- only our theater was closed that day. Brokeback Mountain had promise, too, if it weren't for those attention-hogging cowboys and their Oscar-winning love story. But this month, clearly there's a smile on God's face. Ours, too. She's in a spy movie, Get Smart. Her costar is not a Jane Austen character; it's Steve Carell. She even knows karate. She avoids laser beams with a grace and sexuality Catherine Zeta-Jones only hinted at in Entrapment. And she's finally given us the courage to admit what we've felt all along. To Ms. Hathaway: At long last, welcome. We know you'll be happy here. At least we know we're happy to have you.

-Peter Martin (Esquire, July 2008)-

Why So Serious?

All who are fortunate enough to have driven the Bugatti Veyron have the same thing to say. It doesn’t matter what they have driven before – Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Porsches – this is in a different league. This is an F-15 in a world of propellers.

Each of its part has to be light and yet strong enough to handle a 1000 hp. Not for an hour or two, but for 10 or 20 years. Its engine is a fuse of 2 Audi V8s fitted with 4 turbo chargers which means it produces a massive amount of heat. So while your car has one radiator, this has 10.

And while other supercars feel like it’s going to disintegrate when it approaches 200 mph, the Veyron just feels so planted, so safe, you’re completely unfazed by it. It would reach from 0 to 100 kmh in under 2.8 seconds and on its way to reaching its top speed of 407 kmh, it changes its shape.

Quite simply, this car is a masterpiece.

And so is The Dark Knight.

While Steven and his friend George try to figure out how to fit an alien into yet another adventure movie, Woody busy casting Scarlett Johansson and M. Night who just couldn’t get enough of himself, a British director by the name of Christopher decided to turn the latest Batman installment into something that goes beyond the comic book genre. So far beyond that it even surpasses some of the well known movies of other genres. Barely a week in into its release, the general consensus is that (as the US$155 million opening weekend grossing would suggest) not only it is the best Batman flick ever, it’s one of the best movies. Period.

With the Joker being the arch nemesis, one cannot look further beyond the 1989 Batman for a direct comparison. 19 years has past since but such is the iconic symbol of Jack Nicholson’s portrayal that the memory still lingers fresh in the mind. Who in their right mind would even attempt to take Jack Nicholson role head on? One that holds a personal satisfaction to the legendary actor himself? No one but Heath. And you could lavish him with praise as there is no way to come out of this successfully without redefining the character that will blow people’s mind away and he did just that.

What is so special about Heath’s performance is that he took the rule book on how to play the Joker and tore it apart. Ever since he made his comic book appearance, there’s this recurring theme about the Joker. He’s a crazy clown with the tendency to kill people. But in The Dark Knight, he’s a psychotic anarchist with a penchant for mind manipulation. A seed of chaos. There’s a difference between crazy and psychotic. Norman Bates is crazy. Psychotic is how you describe Hannibal Lecter. As a matter of fact, Hannibal has long been regarded as the best movie villain ever. I think he just discovered a serious challenger to his throne.

It’s probably nuts to expect a superhero movie such as The Dark Knight to receive an Oscar nomination, not the least being it’s only July. And it still is, even after seeing it. But, the thing is, we’ve been looking it the wrong way. It is not a superhero movie. Not a comic book adaptation. It’s a crime saga. Along the likes of The Untouchables, Goodfellas and maybe even The Godfather. Not a far stretch since what Heath Ledger did to the Joker is akin to what Marlon Brando did to Don Vito Corleone. Visually unrecognizable and yet brilliantly arresting.

However, one could go on and on about the technical aspects of the film. The explosions, the gadgetry, the cinematography and even the acting prowess at hand. But what will make this film go down in history as one of the finest in our modern times is what it represents.

The thing about Christopher Nolan is that he doesn’t clonk you over the head with his genius. While he’s become more visually sophisticated over the course of his short career, he still has no use for the look-at-me camera moves. Nor does he seem to care whether people notice that his clever, gimmicky narratives conceal deep and unsettling questions about human nature.

Look past the creepy poignance of Heath Ledger’s posthumous performance of carved grimace and prankster sadism to see the stealthy, oddly underappreciated virtuoso of the piece.

This is a masterpiece.

This is the perfect film.



Ref:
Jeremy Clarkson Supercar Showdown
Greatest Director Alive by Mike D'Angelo, Esquire July 2008

A New Bowling Queen

Zandra Aziela.

Remember that name, as she will be our next bowling queen. Plus, she's hot.

She's been in the news lately. And, quite frankly, I wouldn't even bother glancing at the bowling section if it weren't for her.

So, a little heads up. Don't be too surprised if one day she knocks out Nicol David as the most talked about female sports player in our country.

This is the only decent picture of her I can put without risking being sued by MTBC. But, just so you know, she does has a Facebook account.

She's Single Again!

I should not be saying this. Actually, it’s even morally wrong, but guys rejoice! Nora Danish is single again!

With this, it has been confirmed what every heterosexual male in Malaysia has been saying all this time. Girl, that man ain’t right for ya.

Seriously, what kind of man who decides to leave his wife when she’s two months pregnant? That man is a shame to danglers the world over. I’m sorry, ladies, it’s just that some guys are really worse pigs than others. I mean, just look at her. That’s her on one of the worst days in her life. Can you imagine what a bubbly Nora Danish look like? Sure, her work has been mostly rubbish but who cares?

A person like Nora Danish should never have gotten married in the first place. Someone like her should be single for as long as possible as she spreads joy and happiness to the male population the nation over. It gives the lesser man the faintest bit of hope, while she’s single, that he actually has a chance. And as everyone knows, hope is good.

Remember how much fun we had when Normala was once again single? Wasn’t it nice to indulge in such lucid fantasies? Or when Erra went down the same route a little while back? Truth is, we are devoid of decent looking female celebrities lately, ones that we can drool about. Not some AF graduates.

As for Nora Danish: Welcome back. We missed you. XOXO

A 'Rare' Price

You know the problem with rare items? First they are nearly impossible to find and second, when you do it’s overly priced. Which suddenly boils down to, no longer a question of money, but of morality.

Case in point:

Thanks to my recently acquired hobby of online sneaker hunting, I came across a newsflash on Sole What?’s webpage promoting it’s latest line of totally special, one-off t-shirts. It’s the Aki Hoshino Sneaker Lover Classics collection. Basically they are a bunch of white tees made by KIKS TYO, featuring popular Japanese bikini idol, model and actress Aki Hoshino and photographed by celebrated Tokyo-based photographer Yasumasa Yonehara. Or simply put,

And yes, they are rare. Miss this chance to buy them this time, and you’ll never get the chance again. Ever. That’s right, it’s a cruel world indeed.

Hyped up by the buzz, I went to Sole What? myself to check them out earlier today. Upon closer inspection, I’d say quality wise, I couldn’t say they are any better than what I can get at Jusco, but then again, none of them features a Japanese bikini idol, in full colour, half naked and licking her lips while laying on a sofa, surrounded by sneakers. Okay, that last part does sound kinda weird but dude, it’s still hot.

The irresponsible child inside me just want to grab a whole bunch of them and go straight to the counter while reaching for my wallet, but what dignity I have left inside me somehow managed to rationalize, even for a brief second, to at least, take the trouble of inspecting the price tag. And this was when my world fell apart.

Okay, rough estimate, a regular t-shirt, with a colourful print on it and, yeah, put a ‘special’ tag for entertainment purposes, what your guess on the price? Come on give me a rough figure. You know what? Make it a crazy figure, a ridiculous one, ‘cause, hey, we are talking about a rare item here. So, come one. Tell you what, to help you out, I’d give some pointers. You know the Nike t-shirts featuring the national teams during Euro 08? Portugal, Italy, Spain and Germany? Retailed at RM85 each when they first came out. Silly, for a t-shirt, right? My brother even calls it ‘stupid’. A regular Lacoste polo which featured nothing except for that little crocodile badge, has a RM129 as its price tag. Again, silly, right? So I put my silly estimate around that figure. RM100+ for a white tee. RM150 if they really go that crazy.

You want to know the actual price? Are you ready for this? I thought I was but I wasn’t. You ready? The retail price for a KIKS TYO X Aki Hoshino X Yone t-shirt is, hold your breath, RM259.

Fuck me! So help me god!

259 bucks! Two hundred and fifty nine fuckin’ ringgit! Are you shitting me!? Honestly, people, the moment I saw that price, the impact suddenly made me lost my drive to get a pair of Tigers that day. I was planning to celebrate a new pair of shoes today but that Aki Hoshino tee, my god, just blew out my candle. RM259 for a t-shirt is no longer question about money, but has turn into a question of morality. Just think what you can do with RM259. I can buy another pair of shoes. Well, maybe not Tigers but Nike futsal shoes, yeah. I’d even have some leftover. Or I could get a really nice leather wallet, you know. Something classy. Braun Buffel, maybe. Or a nice Raoul shirt, or even a designer tie. Even a full package during those weekend trips with Ridhu. Although, that’s probably not the best way to spend all that money (or some might argue).

Point is, the fluctuation as a direct consequence of the word ‘rare’ or ‘special’ whatever, really just pisses me off! I love rare items, I thrive on them, but then again, look at what I have to deal with!

You know what? Screwed up part is, chances are, my inner child will once again triumph in this argument and I probably can’t help myself succumb to temptation and purchase a Sneaker Lover t-shirt. The one which she sticks her tongue out.

So, if you ever see me walk around in that said garment, I give you complete license to smack me right in the face and tell me what an embarrassment I have been but dude, first CHECK OUT MY AKI HOSHINO T-SHIRT!!

Press play, you'll love this.

Action? Oh Yeah. -Ish

It’s been described as one of the best Wimbledon final ever, the Nadal – Federer last night, which ended at 4.30 am local time. It went through 62 games. Beating the previous record of 55 between Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe. And I missed it. Well, not on purpose. As a matter of fact, looking back at what took place, I kind of wished I hadn’t. Ever since Ivanovic bowed out of the competition, I just lost interest in the whole thing. On a side note, what’s with the theory that she couldn’t perform because the gap between Roland Garros and Wimbledon is barely non-existent and a player needs a long preparation period to do well at SW6? Well, then, how do you explain Nadal? I know he’s a freakish testosterone driven tennis machine and Ana is just basically a 20-year-old chick but, ah, forget about it.

Point is, I would have caught that final yesterday that is, if I hadn’t got any action! Oh yeah! That’s right, baby! I did. I rock!

Okay, that may sound a little bit exaggerated but yes, I did went out with a few people despite it was being a Sunday evening. We were planning to watch Hancock, but the soonest available show was 3 hours away so it turned into a bowling plan. When that too didn’t happen, it almost turned into a batting cage session when finally we ended up at an eatery called William somewhere in SS2, which is a wonderful place (figuratively) because it offers incredible food at half the price as compared to any other fancy restaurants in the region. Even Tony Roma’s. If I had to choose, it would be, well, depends on the occasion. If it’s a hot date, then it’ll be Tony’s. If it’s just a bunch of buddies who happen to be really, really hungry, it’s William hands down. Or Murni.

Here I am talking about food again. Let’s change the subject. How about shoes? Let’s talk about shoes. This is becoming a recurring thing, doesn’t it?

It’s about Macbeth. For those of you who think I’m referring to anything Shakespearean, obviously you don’t know me. Or googled the wrong blog. Though it does remind me of a funny Blackadder episode. Anyway, it’s a shoe brand, very rock-ish. Made popular by Blink-182 and up until last Thursday, unavailable anywhere in Malaysia. Closest you can get a pair was by crossing the causeway to Singapore. But fret no more, 27 Heaven at Cineleisure is finally bringing them to our shores. Safe to say, I’m eyeing a pair for myself but I’ll hang on for the time being, waiting for them to stock up properly first. Unlike most people, I try my best not to buy on impulse. Except for those ‘health’ trips I take with Ridhu. On second thought, they were more towards services rendered. Once, I came home with the smell of women’s perfume all over me. That was an awkward moment. Speaking of women, Tita was present as well during yesterday’s attempt of having a good time albeit briefly. Hey, as long as there a chick as hot as her lingering with us losers, it’s always considered a good outing.

Hey, it is a recurring theme. Food, shoes then women. Geez, I hope you don’t find this boring.

Back To Basics

Wow, it has been awhile, hasn’t it? That Italy elimination really left me in tatters, so to speak. That or maybe I was just too damn lazy to write anything lately. Most probably the lazy thing. But, since here I am, let’s go!

First of all, we are not going to talk about football today. Well, okay, maybe not that much because, hey, I have to mention Spain’s victory and congratulate them. You know, they worked hard for it (those pricks!). So, post-Euro 08, things are getting back to somewhat normal again. Most importantly, I no longer have to divide my sleeping hours into two phases, so I could last the 3-5am matches. You know, that sleeping habit was really taxing. And half the time it doesn’t work. Like the Germany Croatia semis. I was left to bear out Shebby’s comments during the highlights segment to know what happened in that game. Believe me, I wished there had been other ways.

But, enough about football.

Geez, come to think of it, now I don’t know where to start. We could talk about food, which would mean that I’d be talking about Tony Roma’s which I finally had the chance to dine at for the first time after all this while. And the verdict? Man, I could not wait for my next visit. Yes, it’s pricey but the portions, oh, they’re so generous. And what I liked most about was the option of four tantalizing sauces at your disposal, just sitting there on your table. And I only ordered chicken. God knows what they’ll give me should I ordered ribs, which were their specialty. Ribs, man, ribs. Grilled to perfection. Cholesterol never tasted so good.

Or, I could talk about movies. The latest being The Happening. But I usually reserve movie reviews on Flixster. They got stars and pictures I can dabble with. It adds a nice touch. And yes, I, too, was disappointed with Happening. Especially the absence of the normal twist at the end which I was really looking forward to in every M Night movies.

Or shoes, I can talk about shoes. I can’t believe this but I actually want to talk about shoes. Particularly Onitsuka Tigers.

I asked someone, if I was in the market for some cool shoes for, y’know, leisurely purposes, what kind of shoes I should be getting. Because, I’d be honest, I haven’t bought shoes for myself for a very long time and I realized that fact when someone asked what my shoe size were and I couldn’t remember that I had to guess. It was a clear indication I need some new kicks.

So, this friend recommended a pair of Converse or better, Onitsuka Tigers. At first I couldn’t even spell the damn brand until by accident I stumbled across Sole What? at The Gardens. It is one of the few shoe stores in the whole of Klang Valley to be selling these shoes. And hence, the birth of my somewhat obsession with the brand. I googled it, wiki-ed it, went to sneaker forums, you name it. Until I came up with a list of the stores that were selling this brand and it’s not a long list. Which in a way suggests the rarity of these shoes in the Malaysian market. And I’m such a sucker for rare items. So, for the past few days, I have been scouting the shopping malls of Klang Valley for the stores which offer the most options of Tigers. And so far, it’s Ecko Unltd at OU. They have a whole wall of Tigers, unlike other stores at which one only had six pairs on display. Like, come on! And while snooping around, I came across another brand called K-Swiss which looks kinda cool too. In a very hip-hop artists kind of way. Then, I started to worry because I beginning to sound so much like Turtle. Next thing I know, I’ll be wearing a cap in reverse. Oh wait, I already did that at Sunburst. Damn it! And why did I refer shoes as kicks!?

Okay, okay, okay. You know what we need to be talking about here? Women. Boo-yah! That’s right. Sometimes, I just forget the purpose of this blog. Talking about women can be so much fun. Except maybe for the fact that there’s nothing much to go on about currently. I mean, I do have something but, you know, the same ol’ usual suspects. Mostly Eiwa, which I find rather peculiar if she hasn’t found out about this blog already. I mean, lesser people have stumbled across this page one way or another and yet, well, to be fair I only meet her on very rare occasions and the subject of ‘hey, I read your blog the other day talking about me in a very sexual manner and it kinds of turn me on’ is unlikely to come up during those brief moments. Especially the ‘turn me on’ part. Which is what I’m totally going to do today. That is talking about her in a very sexual manner.

I saw her the other day. Which is about two weeks ago. Depends on when did Petronas held its Open Day at Permata. My brother was overlooking the go-kart joint so the whole family stopped by to check it out, so to speak. But we were there only briefly because we arrived late and it was nearly noon so you can only imagine how hot it was getting over there. I am so prone to heat strokes. Anyway, a funny thing happened when I was visiting one of the booths. It was a foot massaging booth, and sitting on a stool next to me while I was looking around was an old man, nonchalantly puffing cigarette smoke which happens to be in a confined space filled with people. Annoyed, I intend to give him the stink-eye. However, upon closer inspection I realized I recognized that white hair and moustache despite the face turned away and under a blue cap. And I was right, it was Tan Sri Hassan himself. First thought though, well, he’s still wrong and being unreasonable at that to be smoking in a crowd of people but then again, recalling the stick he’s been getting from some sections of the public around that time, I decided to give him a break. Me, a schmuck giving the President and CEO of the largest corporation of Malaysia a break. But I did. He may not realize it but I did.

It was around the time I left the foot massage tent that I caught the sight of Eiwa. At first I wasn’t sure if it was her but it was very likely to she would be present. She stood far away and it was only a glancing view but after those years of obsessing about her, I could recognize that body from a mile away. If I wasn’t mistaken, she seem to have put on a little weight, which is good because I always though she was too skinny for her own good at times. When will women understand we men hardly go for a Kate Moss, or the current version of Keira Knightley as of late. A little JLo wouldn’t hurt anyone. And we can never get enough of Beyonce. All for more loving. Which was why I was so pleased to see Eiwa that way. Of course, I couldn’t yell out to her to come over for one I didn’t want to draw any attention and two, my mother was right next to me. No, it would too weird and uncomfortable for both of us. Greg Fokker isn’t just my style. Again, as many times before, I just watched her from afar. Thinking how hot she would look dripping naked. How would I love to eat her up. And on cue, there’s Tan Sri Hassan walking out all by himself. Those official BMW Sauber F1 sneakers really do look snazzy. Very rare. Very nice. One of the perks, huh?

As for Bunga, well, quite some time since I talked about her too, huh? Sad thing is I wasn’t able to attend the last two futsal sessions. Bummer. ‘Cause I really missed her in those grey sweat pants. Those things really catch the contours of her ass and thighs nicely. Very sexy. Sometimes she would stand, hands on hips, putting her weight on one foot while waiting for the ball to come to her and that is a Kodak moment for me, every time. I could snap her picture, put it as my wallpaper and be very happy for a long time. And be called a stalker and never get invited to play ever again.

Last time I came to play, she said hi to me and it was my highlight of the day. Probably the week. She is just that hot to me. And, to…that…boyfriend of hers. You know, in her Facebook status she lists herself as single but in the photo gallery, numerous pictures of them cuddling with each other. It really sorts of messes up my mind. Do we mortals still have a chance, or anything? Maybe it’s one of those Andi-Greg things going on. ‘We’re seeing each other but it’s too early to call us a couple’ thing. And it’s us who got commitment issues. BS. Oh yeah, I’m into Reaper right now. I just downloaded and watched the whole 18 episodes of the first season in under 5 days. It’s sick, I know, but the show’s pretty funny and 8TV only air it on Friday nights, with no repeats. Who on earth purposely stay at home at 10 pm on a Friday night just to catch a one hour show? I just had to get it out of my conscience, quickly. That’s another reason why I haven’t been writing lately.

You know what? One thing I really need right now? A fucking date. In every sense of the word.

Ah shit, I got a feeling it’s going to be one of those cycles again. I wouldn’t be surprised if one these days I’d be writing one of those ‘I need a girlfriend’ post. Fuck! I hate it when it turn so vulnerable.

Dude, I need to get some action. It Sunday afternoon, I know, hardly a chance, but what the hell.

Hang loose, bee-yatch!

It's a Bleak Future for Italia Calcio

You know, somehow, “I told you so” just doesn’t quite say it. (Will Smith, I, Robot)

I wished I was wrong. I wanted so much to be wrong. But, it seems, you can’t be wrong all the time.

Italy were dumped out of Euro 08. And they only have themselves to blame. Especially Luca Toni, who managed to go home without scoring a single goal throughout the tournament, despite playing all the minutes of all Italy’s 4 matches. Even the Swiss has a three goal hero in Hakan Yakin. How embarrassing. And you call yourself Italy’s top marksman.

Want to know the saddest part is? Of all the other big teams that already went out, Italy has the least likely next generation of players to make it big in the near future. France has Benzema, Nasri, Ribery to take care of them for the next World Cup and beyond. For the Dutch, Sneijder, Robben, Van der Vaart has still much to offer. And even should the Germans and Spanish bow out, the likes of Podolski, Schweinsteiger and the trio of Villa, Torres and Fabregas would inflict fear in the opposition just the mere mention of their names. As for Italy? De Rossi is probably the only bright spark to come out of this competition but hardly to be considered world-class. This is what you pay for keeping faith with the old guard while ignoring the perilous consequences.

Materazzi and Cannavaro should leave the squad. As with Del Piero, Zambrotta, Panucci and maybe even that Toni fellow. Problem is, who are the able replacements? Chiellini looks somewhat the deal despite starting off as a left back. Barzagli, despite his regular inclusion in the national team, only managed a summer move to Wolfsburg. Aquilani is promising but still has a long way to go before able to command a midfield on his own. As for Perotta, resembles a Defoe, showed tremendous potential at club level, but yet to translate to the international scene.

And the attack, oh god, the attack! Where’s the next great Italian striker? Where’s the next Mazzola? The next Riva? Baggio? Inzaghi? Vieri? Clearly the man from Bayern could not do the business and being a late developer of the game does not help his cause. What hope is there left? The repugnant Cassano? Maybe there’s hope in the form of a certain Marco Borriello, recently signed by Milan, to replace another failed investment in Alberto Gilardino.

As the team look back on Euro 08, maybe they’d realize something more could have been done but what’s most troubling is the immediate future. If England has problems, Italy are looking at a potential train wreck.

Dear Luca Toni

Dear Mr. Toni,

For fuck's sake, why the fuckin' hell wouldn;t you score? You scored 39 goals in 47 matches for Bayern, but you couldn't even trouble Coupet? Honestly, he's not that good. Please, don't be like Mario Gomez. Italy does not the luxury of having the likes of Podolski and Klose amongst the ranks. You're all the nation have for goals. Who else to depend on? Del Piero? We all know what happen the last time we did that.

So, please, Mr. Toni, I beg of you,make the Spanish defence remember you. And for the right reasons.

Your caring Italian fan,
Badoque.

In Pursuit of Movies

In honour of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest offering, The Happening, due to be released soon, Yahoo! Movies decided to list down 20 movies with some of the greatest ending twists.

This, inadvertedly, has intrigued me. So, let’s see, films on the list which I already have seen are:

1. The Sixth Sense
2. The Others
3. Saw
4. Empire Strikes Back
5. Fight Club
6. Primal Fear
7. No Way Out
8. 12 Monkeys
9. Arlington Road
10. The Usual Suspects

And the ones I haven’t are:

1. Citizen Kane
2. Soylent Green
3. Planet of the Apes
4. Basic Instinct
5. The Crying Game
6. Psycho
7. Dressed To Kill
8. The Sting
9. Chinatown
10. Angel Heart

Hey, they’re evenly balanced. Didn’t quite sure I was expecting that. Anyway, all this is to further fill my pursuit in watching unsung movies. For instance, just recently, I managed to see Donnie Darko. If you haven’t heard of it, don’t be ashamed because I didn’t either until I was quizzed by Flixster. Curiosity beckoned, I searched it on IMDB and found out it got a pretty good rating. So I decided it was a movie worth checking out, despite being a 2001 production. It took quite an effort. I even multiple legitimate video stores because I was so desperate I’d pay extra for an original copy. But the sales people were clueless as well, as if the movie never even existed. Finally, after consulting some people, I managed to find a torrent for it. I was so happy I watch it the minute it finished downloading. And it is good. A 6 foot bunny telling you when doomsday is coming is really intriguing. And it’s one of those movies that gets better every time you watch it. A noir film at its best.

After that point on, I was hooked.

Next on my list is Say Anything. A romantic comedy starring John Cusack and a personal favorite of Jessica Alba. It isn’t as good as Darko but entertaining nonetheless. Chicks will definitely love it. If you wanna have a stay-in movie date, this movie is perfect. It worked for Jessica.

Still wrapped in its packaging in my room is Risky Business. The movie where Tom Cruise made his big break.

It has become sort of a hobby of late. And that list of 10 movies that I have yet to see really gives me a buzz. Especially after reading the synopsis of Soylent Green. Though, I’m not so sure of Psycho, as too much has been said about it and Planet of the Apes since I saw the Mark Wahlberg remake. But for things like Angel Heart and Chinatown, the hunt is afoot yet again!

Can Italy Come Back?

Burnt in Bern.

I’ll admit it’s a catchy title but because of its significance, I hated Collette Wong for saying it, regardless that she’s a hot mum and all.

About two years ago I wrote a similar blog post to the one I’m doing right now. It was titled ‘Italy’s Flaw’ and in it I discussed my fears for the Italian national team at the 2006 World Cup after they were held to a draw by the US. A nation which by itself defines ‘football’ as a game played using your hands.

How does Italy expect to do well in a tournament if you’re already embarrassed in your second group match? Oh, believe me, it was an embarrassment. A case in point: Italy’s most capped player is Paolo Maldini. Theirs is Cobi Jones. That’s the gulf in class and just goes to show which nation pays more serious attention to this sport.

In that post I spoke on how Italy would have serious problems in scoring goals, considering how one-dimensional the Italian strikers of that team were compared to the others such as the Brazilians and Argentineans. Yet, I was proven wrong and they did score a few goals after that and went on to win the damn thing.

Two years later, we’re back in the same boat. Only this time, it’s not only déjà vu, but much, much worse.

Just like in the WC, for the Euros, if you’re one of the favorites, the least you could do is to win your first game. Get your nerves settled early on in the tournament. To draw is not a disaster but still a pressing concern nonetheless. A defeat is a disaster. But a 3-0 thumping? Now, that’s an absolute catastrophe.

This scenario reminds me of Euro 96. To this day, I can still remember the headline on the Malay Mail sports section when it emblazoned the words ‘Czech-ed’ on the back of that defeat that has all but distinguished Italy’s hope of progressing further. Taking into consideration the third and final game in which they need to get a result, no matter what, was against the Germans. For those of you need reminding, the Germans were the eventual champions that year. All they could muster was 0-0 draw and Italy got kicked out.

It was such a heartbreak because two years before that, Italy were in the World Cup final against Brazil contesting for the big prize. At that time, Italy was among the two best teams on the planet. Come ’96, another major tournament and this time no Brazil. So, the onus was good. Who else could come in their way? Unfortunately, they didn’t listed down ‘aarogance’.

Now, in 2008, the title of world champions has again lifted hopes and expectation at its loftiest. Cue in the Dutch demolition and all the nightmarish memories came back flooding in.

There is still hope, no doubt about it, but it does look very vain at the very best.

A win against Romania is a must. There’s no two way about it. Another defeat would be unthinkable as that will mean Italy is out of the competition as they did in ’96 and ‘04. A draw is merely a prolonged sentence since a win in the third game is the only way to survive and that means beating the French. And you know how the French are. More worrying if the Dutch pulled off another encore performance which will mean the French would need a result too. Two powerhouse nations in locked horns, desperately looking for a win. A fantastic prospect for the neutrals but they will be much French and Italian swearing taking place in the background should that happen.

Now, the interesting part. Let’s dissect that performance at Bern, shall we?

In short, every one that day was rubbish. For starters, make no mistake, the loss of Fabio Cannavaro is a massive blow. There was wishful thinking that maybe his absence would not affect the team’s preparations as much. But it did, judging by the defensive performance against the Dutch. His defensive qualities and calming influence was sorely missed.

Buffon was clearly burdened by his role as captain hence, affected his performance. He usually takes guidance from Cannavaro and with him gone, the sudden responsibility outweighed his shoulders. As for Materazzi, well, he’s the Jekyll and Hyde type. Brilliant in one game and awful in the next. He was no Jekyll this time around. Which is a big letdown as you’d expect him to step up and be the leader of the backfour and especially his center back partner, Barzagli, who hasn’t racked up enough caps to be comfortable playing at a major tournament. Zambrotta, despite his versatility, would have posed more danger playing on the right. Then, he would not have to cut back every time he wanted to deliver a cross which he continuously need to do coming from the left, which enabled the Dutch defence to cope with his play. No why on Earth was Panucci pitted against someone like Van der Vaart? Thank heavens it wasn’t Van Persie or Robben for that matter. It could have been 3-0 in the first 20 minutes.

As for the midfield, I understand for the need for familiarity and that’s why the three midfielders from Milan started the game. But, then again, Milan finished fifth in the league and the trio of Pirlo, Gattuso and Ambrosini had Seedorf and Kaka to pass to initiate attack. Comfortable holders of the ball which the same cannot be said of Di Natale or Camoranesi.

As for Toni, like I said two years ago, he’s a finisher. A van Nistelrooy type. He cannot make goals on his own, he needs service. Kind of like Ribery provides him at Bayern though that may be pushing it.

Anyway, the biggest flaw this time around for Italy is the whole spectrum of its attack. Clearly, something needs to be done to gain better possession of the ball and the linkage between midfield and forwards. Ambrosini needs to be replaced with someone with more sense of adventure and dynamism. The likes of Perotta, Aquilani or De Rossi. And it’s high time Del Piero gets a start. 18 league goals is no fluke. Pair him up front with Toni ,not on the left wing and maybe, just maybe, he’ll continue that good run of form for club to country.

As much as I fear and excited by this Friday’s match, please, let me be proven wrong, yet again, as I was two years ago. Forza Italia.

WNT 8275

Something was going on at Jalan Setapak, near the abandoned Galeria around 11 pm just now. I should know because it took me more than an hour to get from Jalan Tun Razak to Gombak! I don’t know what the ruckus was all about but it has to be crime related. The police were everywhere including a K-9 unit. I’m guessing armed robbery. A potential homicide as well. Things should be cleared up in the papers tomorrow. You probably know better about this even before you hop by here.

Anyway, that’s not the real point I’m writing this. The real point is, that during the gridlocked traffic, typically, some retard on a motorcycle try to be clever, yet again, and even though my car was stationary at that precise time, this piece of turd for a brain managed to knock my side mirror outward. Luckily, there wasn’t any permanent damage but considering it was my left side mirror, it would have been nice if he had apologized and realign it instead of just ignoring the blatant mistake he made and took off! I was maneuvering through hell at Bulatan Pahang and having my left side blind does not bloody help! It was highly disrespectful and despite my efforts of cursing in Italian and honking feverishly, it was pointless. The prick was gone.

All was left was the imprint of the registration number in my head – WNT 8275.

Hence, I'd like to make a vow.

Mark my words and mark them well. The next time I come across the two-wheeled contraption this plate resides on – I shit you not I will run you down. I…Will… Run You Down!

Be afraid WNT 8275. Be very, fucking, afraid.

Of Humour and Cruelty

Undeniably, seeing Bunga was certainly an uplifting feeling. Strangely though, not as much as her other friend did, who almost tripped me with slightly late challenge. She’s one of those people who is profoundly gorgeous and incredibly nice at the same time. A trait combination that I rarely see in my life. Talking to her gave me such an inferior feeling that by the time she finished her second sentence, I had shrunk to 8 inches tall. No wonder she’s married. And for that I wouldn’t even dare to nickname her. Which is why we’re returning to Bunga, who is in a less endearing circumstance.

I have a confession to make. After all this time, talking about Bunga, I did ‘forget’ to mention one important detail about her. She’s already seeing someone. Yes, it was heartbreak for me the first time I heard the news but as experience has taught me, don’t be too disheartened, lad. There is still much wonder to behold out there. Keep your socks on. Although, a few glimpses now and then of her couldn’t hurt.

It’s not official yet (I think), but from what I can see it would just be a matter of time before it is. And under this situation, let me tell you a predicament about humour and cruelty.

Now, first rule about the guy who is dating the chick you fancy but only found out a little later than to your liking is to plain out hate him. It’s nothing personal, it’s just, well, yeah, it is kind of personal. This is why you should never date an ex of your mate. Another famous unwritten rule of Guy Law. So when this kind thing happens, you don’t end up hating your mate.

Anyway, here it is, this guy, in my view, everything is wrong with him. I couldn’t even stand the way he orders his drinks. I was on an all-out hate war on him. It’s very childish, I know, but how else could I channel my frustration? But, somehow, I made the grave mistake of underestimating my opponents. Turns out, this guy’s good.

Let me ask you this. In order to work up a relationship with a chick, what is one of the most important things you must do? You confide in her friends. Convince her friends to convince her that you are worth her time. And even although I began to hang out Bunga and her mainstay entourage only a few months recently, I was under the impression that he sees me as part of her closest allies as well. Flattering, indeed. But, after all, it does make sense. It’s one thing to convince her female friends. It’s another with her male friends. We know the game too. And surely, soon enough, he began to be make friends with me. And the worst thing is, he turns out to be quite a decent bloke too. This is the cruel part.

I was supposed to hate this guy. Give him the stink eye and disprove his hairstyle but later that night, during chill-out, a discussion about Champions League broke out between us guys as the TV was showing a replay of Barca vs Man Utd. I knew the scoreline but I still can’t help going ‘ooh’ ‘aah’ every time a good opportunity was spurned. Especially in Barca’s case. Intrigued, the not-yet-official-bf, who was seated next to me, asked me whether I was a Man Utd fan. I just laughed out loud. Fuck no!

Then a Liverpool supporter suddenly groaned about Riise’s own goal and I gave out a bigger laugh. Drowning in my euphoria, suddenly the NYOBF asked me another question, ‘So which team DO you support?’ I ceased laughing. Now, I have always been apprehensive every time I was asked that question. Usually the response I get after professing my allegiance is ‘Fuck! Glory hunter!’ and that’s one of the nicer insults. The reason being the lack of Chelsea fans in our midst. Even Arsenal fans don’t get this much abuse. So, I tend to avoid from answering this specific question, merely for my preference of not getting called names for no viable reason. Which I intend to do when NYOBF presented me with this exact query. And judging by his first question, he must be a Man Utd fan and surely a tirade of abuse is sure to ensue. However, seated right next to him, there wasn’t any room to escape. So I composed myself and blurted out, ‘Chelsea!’

Instantly, a smile formed on his face and he held out his hand, in a gesture a man would in an arm-wrestling match. I knew exactly what that meant. Oh hell no! He’s a Chelsea fan too! Fuck! Cazzo! Porca troia!

Reluctantly I returned the pledge gesture.

And just to rub salt into wounds, he’s one of those, as he calls is, the ‘pre-Roman’ fans. The time of Vialli and Zola. Well, guess what? That’s my profile too. He’s not one of those typical so-called Chelsea fans that I have come to know along the years. He’s not like Bulu (who’s back supporting Newcastle), Pargon (who I remember being a Liverpool fan back in the days), Tony (who was definitely a Liverpool fan back in the days) and even Wawan (who only began to support the team after Jose began making headways in the Premier League). No. Him and me, we’re True Blues. And that’s the humour part.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my predicament. His last words to me before the end of the night? ‘We’re best friends’

I want to cry.

The Bunga Effect

I had a plan. I got it all figured out. I would go up to her and say, ‘hey, happy birthday. So what is it? 19?’ and we’ll have a little laugh. Sounds perfect. It ought to be perfect. But, some things you can only plan so much. I was not present for the moment of truth and, honestly speaking, it was nobody’ fault. Something came up. Yes, there are things more important than seeing Megan running around working up a sweat and wishing her happy birthday. This was few weeks back.

Today, if all goes well, I might get to see her again. After nearly a month of not doing so. Whether or not she even noticed my long absence is hardly relevant (because I know the answer to that question) because as far as I’m concerned, just to be in her presence is probably going to be the highlight of my week. Let’s just call it the Megan Effect.

Oh wait, that reminds me.

After going through my BM phase recently, it got me thinking. What do I use ‘Megan’ to refer her? Or ‘Charlize’ before that? Wouldn’t it be cooler if, say, I use something like Yasmin? Or Sazzy? Or Fasha? Fazura? Fauzana? Whoa, that’s too many F’s. How about Deborah Priya Henry? Nah, nanti Deb lagi sorang perasan pulak. Or a little Indonesian flavor? Rossa? Mulan? Atilia? And my personal favorite – Bunga Citra Lestari. At least I can pretend to be Ashraff Sinclair. Hey, ske ati aku la, angan-angan aku! But, seriously, Bunga is not bad actually. I know these name changing can be troublesome and confusing, but if you call yourself my loyal readers, you’d bear it with me.

Now, I better get ready and go Mandi Bunga (I wish I can say that more often).

This Is Not A Political Blog, really

Umno info chief Muhammad Taib now a blogger
BIDOR: The man who once lodged a police report against the Malaysia Today news portal for supposedly carrying a series of provocative remarks has ironically joined the ranks of bloggers.
Umno information chief Tan Sri Muhammad Muhammad Taib said he had set up his own blog at http://www.muhammadmuhdtaib.com/ a few days ago to encourage the computer-savvy crowd, especially the younger generation, to air their views and grievances.
New Netizen: A screenshot of Muhammad’s blog which is in Bahasa Malaysia.
Muhammad, who is the Rural and Regional Development Minister, pointed out that there were times when complaints lodged by the people ended up lost and the blog would be a useful avenue for them.
Complaints filed by those who brought their problems directly to him through the blog would be acted upon and the relevant authorities would be directed to attend to them, said Muhammad.
The people could raise anything from broken bridges to damaged roads, but the minister said he also welcomed discussion on judicial reforms, the Anti-Corruption Agency or any ministry affairs.
“Unlike the press, the blog will be a two-way traffic. So my medium is better than yours,” he joked with reporters during a working visit to Kampung Poh here yesterday.
When pointed out that he once used to be at odds with certain bloggers, Muhammad said: “If you can’t fight them, join them!”
A check of the site showed Muhammad blogged on the resignation of Malay village chiefs and welcomed a suggestion by PAS to discuss the Malay agenda with Umno.
Most recently, he touched on Umno supreme council member Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Khir Toyo’s remarks about the Prime Minister.
The blog noted that it accepted all feedback but only “polite and well-mannered” comments would be posted.
Last year, Muhammad had lodged a police report in Kuala Lumpur stating that Malaysia Today carried a series of remarks that insulted the King, degraded Islam and incited hatred and violence in the country on July 11.
His report raised concerns that the Government might start cracking down on bloggers in the country.
In Putrajaya, Muhammad said professionals from rural areas should go back to serve the community.
“Since they are professionals and have the funds, they could sponsor programmes, especially for the development of children and youths in rural areas who would otherwise be neglected.


Well, well, ain't that a surprise? It seems more and more people are joining in the bandwagon. Add this to Khir Toyo's blog and suddenly we find the same people who went against this technology beginnig to embrace it. What took you so long? Apart from these two, there are others more follwing in their tracks (or should I say ours?) but I couldn't recall any of them right now. Individuals but also certain organizations as well.

I don't like to blow my trumpet but what did I tell ya? Yes, you may call me Nostra-badoque.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Some may find this hard to believe but on certain weekends, I tend to accompany my mother to the Sunday morning market. And last Sunday was one of them.

The main reason she wants me to come along is she wants to pick up only a few stuff and would only require about 20 minutes of shopping time. So that makes finding a parking, which are notoriously difficult during these morning markets, I was the perfect foil to wait in the car by the side of the road while keeping the engine running.

As such the case, it was quite the norm as she shut the passenger door and I put the gear in Park, pull up the emergency brake and rolled down the windows to breath in the morning air.

That morning was no different than any other morning the previous weekends. Except when my eyes caught a pakcik walked by in front of the car in your typical kopiah, t-shirt and kain sarung. Judging by the plastic bags he’s holding in his left hand, I assumed he’s done grocery shopping for the day.

Lackadaisically, he crossed the road, all the while retrieving his car keys from his pocket, and walked towards to this nice looking maroon 2007 Honda Accord. As he came to the side of the car, his hand reaching for the door handle, he suddenly stopped and smiled to himself. Without much hesitation, he turned to his right, and continued walking a few more metres ahead to another car.

His maroon Proton Waja.

Lek ah pakcik nak berangan pun!

Sape Lagi Power?

Sedang aku membelek-belek The Star mencari bahagian komik, aku ternampak sebuah gamba observation wheel di kelam malam dihiasi pancuran-pancuran bunga api lantas menggamit hati sanubari dengan…ala malas la nak bersandiwara.

Ni..gamba tu sebenarnye gamba Singapore Flyer. Aku tulis ni sebab aku naik hangin lagi la. Singapore Flyer tu observation wheel macam Eye On Malaysia, tapi bese la orang Singapore kiasu, mesti buat lagi grand punye. Saiz siap lagi besa dari yg ori kat London tu. Kalau nak dibandingkan dgn Malaysia punye, takyah cite ah. Lebih 2 kali ganda ade. Tengok eh, ketinggian masing-masing;

Eye On Malaysia 60m
London Eye 135m
Singapore Flyer 165m

Ha Nampak sangat versi Malaysia haprak kan? Dahla name ala-ala tiru ade ‘Eye’. At least, Singapore piker name sendiri. Not bad gak ah name Flyer. Pastu kite dan-dan letak name ‘On Malaysia’ yang semestinye dari segi geografinye lagi besar dari Singapore maupun London. Tapi, hakikatnye, yang paling kecik antara ketiga-tiga. Ego tak kena tempat kan?

Kalau nak cite psal sirkit F1 lagi la. Sepang adalah antara litar pertama di Asia (selain dari Jepun) dan pertama di rantau Asia Tenggara. Sepatutnye guna la peluang itu untuk establish diri sendiri supaya dapat menten market share yang besar serta hadkan threat of new entrants untuk tahun-tahu berikutnye. Ha amik kau Porter’s 5 Forces model. Ade jugak hasil ade blaja time wiken sementara orang lain duk huha. Ni tak. Tup-tup, datang Singapore lagi mencelah nak taja race time mlm pastu guna jalan-jalan kat bandar. Memang stail la idea tu. Satu lagi tempat yg guna jalan bandar sebagai litar adalah kat Monte Carlo, dan itu adalah litar paling glemer dalam calendar F1. Buat tengah malam memang first time ah. Campur 2 idea tu memang power la. Dah camtu baru la Sepang menggelabah. Baru la kite sebuk nak pasang lampu buat race malam jugak. Pastu sekarang, Shanghai pun ade track sendiri. Ha amik kau. Leka sangat kan? Sekali kena bedebuk kau jatuh. Kite yang sepatutnye otai dlm host race F1 kat Asia ni tetiba dah jadi cam pak dungu je kat tepi jalan. Haih stress, stress. Kandang babi tu pun satu hal. Macamla takde tempat lain. Binatang tu bukan reti pun kau nak letak die kat mane. Macam la kalau die tengok kapal terbang hari-hari jadi semakin sihat. Dah macam ni, aku kesain gak kat Azalina. Buat menyusah orang nak promote Sepang. Tarikan pelancong: 1-KLIA, 2-Litar F1 Sepang, 3-Kandang Babi termoden negara.

Tapi, tak taula, harap-harap Singapore pun ade plan gak nak buat kandang babi terbesar kat dunia.

Mari Kite Sembang

Ape kabar semua? Yaa, diilhamkan dari membaca blog Wasted United serta artikel tentang karya Sufian Abas yang bertajuk Kasut Biru Rubina, aku telah mengambil keputusan untuk menulis dalam bahasa melayu kali ni.

Sering kite lupakan, sembang dlm bahasa melayu ni cool sebenarnye, eh silap, menyejukkan. Ish cam pantat je guna perkataan ‘menyejukkan’. Ha itu lagi satu. Mengikut kata encik sufian (bukan encik abas seperti orang2 amerika guna untuk refer encik osama sebagai ‘bin laden’. Sengal ke hape? Sia-sia je korang ade Harvard, MIT semua), buku-buku cerita melayu sekarang ni sepatutnye ditulis dalam bahasa yang orang guna sehari-hari. Seperti perkataan ‘pantat’. Memang itu bahasa kasar tapi sangat lazim digunakan oleh masyarakat seharian. Lebih-lebih lagi ketika memandu di MRR2 dan ade orang masuk lane kite tanpa signal dan brek mengejut. Dalam konteks ini, ujaran ‘pantat’ adalah tidak keterlaluan. Kalau lagi kuat jeritan, lagi bagus. Oleh itu, walapun aku claim guna BM, tapi lebih kepada rojak sebenarnye. Kalau DBP tengok ni, kompom tak approve punye. Kena blacklist ade la kut. Sebab itu la ade la diselitkan beberapa perkataan omputih di sini-sana. Baru la ade feel. Macam orang real life sembang kan? Bukan macam dalam cite Gerak Khas tu. Tak elok ah! Melampau structured nye. Macam nak termuntah.

Apapun, aku takdela nak tulis dalam BM sepanjangnye dalam blog ni. Mungkin kali ni saje. Ikut mood katakan. Tajuk blog pun It’s A Guy Thing. Takkan nak tuka jadi Ia Adalah Perkara Lelaki? Gile tak bes. Macam tajuk artikel dalam majalah Maskulin lak. Sekali sekala kite tuka angin. Ni pun bukannye first time aku tulis dlm BM. Aku penah buat sekali dulu. Kalau tak silap ade pasal hand beg Kak Gina kut. Keciknye alahai. Macam buah mangga. Tapi sekarang dah kawen dengan Kabi, bole la kut die blanje bini die beg tangan besa skit.

Basically, itula die. However, essentially this is an English blog (cewah cakap omputih). Walaupun bes sembang dlm BM sekali-sekala, aku rase aku lagi tere me'laser' orang dlm BI. Lagi-lagi kalau psal bende dari barat. Macam Chelsea. Ye aku memang penyokong Chelsea tapi kalau dah main kat tempat sendiri pastu seri dengan Wigan, lu bikin gua panasss beb!* Tak semena-mena kena kutat dengan penyokong MU. Ditambah lak Steve Bruce tu pun pro-MU. Khemakk ah wei!* ye aku tau aku cakap nak maki hamun dlm omputih tp dah alang2 ni. Lagi satu, aku taknak la dicop sebagai anti-semitism tp lu bikin gua hangin la Avram. Dah leading 1-0 tu, buatla cara leading 1-0. Ni duk main2 ‘marila Wigan, marila score kalau bole’ satgi dah derang score betul, ha baru padan muka. Sebuk dgn performance. Tp kalau takde hasil tak guna gak. 16 shots, 6 on target. Wigan ade 6 shots, 4 on target. Ha ape? Nak jadi cam Arsenal ke? BPH*. Ego tak kena tempat.

K lah, gua dah penat membebel. Lapa lak tu. Blum sembang psal muvi lagi. Psal muka depan NST arini (16 April 08) Cayalah NST!!. Ish sebuk betul jadi blogger tak berbaya ni. Ok geng. Oh lagi satu, gua nak kabo semua, gua member dgn Afdlin Shauki dalam Facebook. Styyyle…(peduli la die ade 3000+ kawan lain lagi). Ok babai.


*di plagiarized dari Wasted United

This Is Not A Political Blog

This is not a political blog. However, during our late lunch at Taman Melati before heading off to Sunburst last Saturday, Machiko, maybe in an attempt to make small talk at the table or just being really curious, asked towards no one in particular, ‘Sape jadi MB Perlis ah?’ And in a reflex-like response, out of my mouth, I blurted, ‘Isa Sabu,’ and froze.

In that precise moment, under a daunting realization, I knew what I had become and dreaded it. I am one of those grown-ups who talks about politics. I knew that this day will come but not this soon.

I used to irk about all those old people at coffee shops talking about those in power on who’s doing what. I never saw the point of talking about people who you don’t know personally about and being passionately at that. I mean, why bother? It’s not like they know you. At all.

But all that changed during the recent general election. Even when they started to put up all those poster and flags, I saw it as a form of littering. Then, I went back to Kelantan on the eve of the naming of the candidates due to some family business, and it began to spark an interest in me.

The scene there, well, in Kota Bharu at least, was rather interesting. There was all this talk on how BN would bring out all the stops to take over Kelantan and make a clean sweep of all the states in the country. Yes, the blue and white flags were certainly in abundance but almost half-expectedly enough, the people there just couldn’t be bothered by all the campaigning. They just seem content as they have always been. No voices in support of change or development as being portrayed in the papers. One morning, my father and I went for breakfast at a small warung and the server, judging from our clothes, asked where we were from. My father replied jokingly, in Kelantanese, we came all the way from KL just to ‘pakoh bule’ (cross the moon). Joining in the amusement, she expressed her relief, ‘Ho mujurlah oghe dari Kolupo pung mari tolong,’ It was a harmless morning bicker but nonetheless reflects the overall sentiment of the community.

Pemuda BN put up a rather interesting banner throughout the place which I thought was rather creative. But, as I watched the League Cup Final at a roadside coffee shop that Sunday, the patrons there were making fun of it.

By the time I arrived back here at KL, I have a new take on the whole election picture. Prior to that, I was among the arrogant city folks who thought he knows what’s best for the people in Kelantan without even having properly live there despite being a Kelantanese himself. Sure, bring BN in and your state will prosper. But, there’s a saying, ‘if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it’. And that what was exactly going on in Kelantan. Suddenly, I was feeling like a Mr. goody two-shoes. What gives me the right to tell people living far away from me how they should live and what’s good for them? George, take note.

So, then, to me, the idea of a BN clean sweep suddenly seems rather bad. First of all, the people there are happy as they are. Why mess about? It’s not like a tyrant is ruling there practicing genocide. And second, in a larger picture, it is best for some form of opposition to be present in the political scene. Just for the sake of keeping the ruling party on their toes and not taking their power for granted (in which some may argue, is already happening). Monopoly is not a good thing. It breeds complacency. Just look at my Streamyx connection. It’s still rubbish. 1.0 Mbps my foot.

With that in mind, it is inevitable that the outcome of the general election intrigues me. Kelantan being my primary concern. As it turns out, I was worried for nothing. And yet, plenty to talk about.

I wasn’t that of an enthusiast like my father and elder brother who stayed up all night to catch the results live as they came in. I just woke up half past seven the next day and turn on the TV to catch the main results. As I imagined with many other Malaysians, I expected to see BN registering wins across the board. But when the ticker began to flash defeats to both Samy Vellu and Sharizat, I suddenly had my morning coffee. It was quite unbelievable. Then I went downstairs and my brother was trumpeting BN had lost I thought, surely not.

And then, as we all had experienced, the flurry and chaos that ensued. And no, we will not divulge further into that. What did I say? This is not a political blog. You have Malaysia Kini for that. And that is quite a site, mind you. Which moves me nicely, from my view, on what went wrong for BN in that general election. I have one word for you– Youths.

I think the only people who really knew that they and their opinions mattered, were the youths themselves. BN just didn’t connect with them. Or worse still, didn’t bother to. I think this all started way back in 2004 when they had that big memorable win. Remember what I said about complacency? And they were caught right in it. People who weren’t eligible to vote then, but were this year, are the 17 – 20 year old brackets back in 2004. And, judging by what the results have told us, our young generation is actually getting smarter and critically aware. Although, I still couldn’t fathom the obsession with Akademi Fantasia and Razak Mohaideen movies.

When I say that BN didn’t connect with our youths, I mean, literally didn’t connect. They were left behind in the mediums that were being used. Generally, all young people spend most of their time in front of their computers. Be it at home, at college, at Starbucks or the office for the fresh graduates. And they don’t go the newspaper sites such as Utusan Malaysia (except for Hadi) or the ones with the .gov.my at the end. They go to social utility sites, blogs and forwarding funny e-mails. And BN failed to recognize this evolution of communication. Instead of embracing technology to cultivate faith among youths they went the other way and did the single biggest mistake they could. Go against the bloggers.

Globally blogs are viewed as a new source of information. And in Malaysia, we have a healthy blogosphere going on. It wasn’t once of twice that we hear various politicians accusing bloggers of spreading lies and hearsays to spread hate among the people. I’ll admit there maybe some out there who set out to do just so. But, these politicians did not take the time to explore the subject deep enough and understand the culture behind blogging that when they came out harshly and saying such things, they didn’t sound like they were going against the actual evil doers but bloggers in general. And it is no secret most bloggers are young people. So when you do that, automatically you have gone against them and hugely disrespected a medium in which they value highly. And they wonder why more people tend to prefer what they could read on the internet rather than the normal medium of newspapers and TV. Well, why shouldn’t they? After all, all they could read in the papers of youths being blamed for everything from crime rates to poor academic performance. And they only watch TV for AXN, MTV or the sports channel.

What’s more, internet news is quicker and more direct. No smoke screens or bullshit as in the papers. We don’t care what event you’re officiating or charity dinners you’re going to. We have questions about the decisions you made and we expect reasonable justification. Not responding them and branding them as pure gossip only creates further suspicion. As they say you cannot believe everything you read in the newspapers, not everything are lies on the internet. And these doubts and suspicion, are not made by few, but many. And most of them are from well-educated people. People who knows the system and says ‘hang on, something’s not right here,’ Of course the rest will start giving notice. And this what built up for the last couple of years and I don’t believe BN realized this and hence, did not keep it in check.

The election results is not an indication of the people’s improved faith in the opposition party (God knows they’re not that grand either) but continued lack of trust for BN. A point made clearly by Tun Mahathir. Love him or hate him. You have to admit he has a brilliant mind.

As for the opposition, well, testing times for them as well. Abolishment of tolls? Reduce oil price by 30 cents? Come on. Does anybody actually believe that? Yes, the current toll rates can be murderous but then again, constructing those three-lane highways is not an easy job. Or a cheap one at that. And, yes, it does need maintenance from time to time. You’re talking about hundreds of miles of concrete slabs. At some point, some will need patching up. So, reduced charges are a more likely scenario at best, considering you have to renegotiate the agreements. Total abolishment is rather ridiculous. And oil price? World economy? Hello? High oil prices is not the makings of the Malaysian government. The rest of the world is suffering from it as well. You want to blame someone? Blame George and his so-called war on terror. Or invasion is more likely. And what’s this I hear about making Petronas footing part of the subsidy bill? Have you no shame? So just because Petronas is in the right business at the right time somehow gives some outsiders the right to share the company’s wealth? Who are you? Joseph Stalin? And free medical? You only need to pay RM1 upon entry at a government hospital to find out what’s wrong with you. And that includes all the MRIs, biopsies and other expensive tests you can think of. If you go to Glen Eagles or Ampang Puteri then of course you will have to pay big money and that’s not the government’s call. That’s the board of directors of that particular hospital. Even if you are an MP of Ampang there nothing much you can do. Be thankful you’re not living in the US. Watch Sicko to knock some sense into you.

And although with yesterday’s announcement of the new cabinet, the dust is finally getting settled, many are still reserving judgment especially on the new faces. My mother works for the Ministry of Health and when she heard the name Datuk Liow Tiong Lai, all she could say was she never heard of him. As for me, my concern has always been the Youth and Sports Minister and that position is handed to Datuk Ismail Sabri Yaacob. Well, at least he’s a dude. One thing that annoyed me about Azalina is that she tends to focus on the smaller niched sports, like powerboats, nursing them like forgotten orphans. While giving a rat’s ass about the bigger and more locally supported sports such as football and badminton. At least Hishamuddin brought X-Games to our shores. You have to give him credit for that. However, I too would like to reserve mu judgment on Ismail Sabri. A quick dig and I found out that he once dissed AF but soon enough his son Dafi was seen prancing around in season 5 of the show. And, just to add spice, he was also once those people who branded bloggers as irresponsible liars. So, unless you perform a miracle (such as Malaysia qualifying for the World Cup), I might consider giving you a break. For two weeks.

As for the rest, it’d be interesting how the Works and International Trade Ministries would do after the departure of Samy Vellu and Rafidah. Which is quite sad, really, because without Samy, who are we gonna make fun of now?

Now, the scene is set to see how everything pans out. With the opposition granted a stronger voice now, it’s time for them to show what they can do which they pointed BN has failed upon. As for BN, have a blog site. For each minister. And Facebook account. And have someone make a Wikipedia entry on all the cabinet members. That would be a start.

And don’t be surprised if Serting is promoted as a prime tourist destination in the near future. That’d be Azalina doing her work. Where is Serting, you may ask? Exactly.