I’ve read somewhere that the hallmark of every great writer is that he or she would write something every single day, regardless whether it’s shite or not. So this is me writing something which I’m pretty sure is going to be shitty. But if my experience has anything to go by, you people would still read it and love it as long it is me who wrote it. Kind of like BMW and the 1 Series.
Believe or not I am going to talk about Justin Timberlake today. Yes, surprised, are we? Well let me just get one thing clear. It is not that enjoy doing this or I secretly sing Sexy Back in the shower like Ridhu does but because I have some beef with him. Translation: He just annoys the fuck out of me.
He was already annoying back then being a teeny bopper and all, jumping around with that curly hair of his, while girls screaming his name. Well, they still do, but, now, he somehow managed to take it up another level. I’m referring, of course, not about his music because this is not an MTV blog, but more to his conquests. Seriously, folks, here at It’s A Guy Thing, do we ever deviate far from the topic of women?
So, here it is. Justin Timberlake has become the ladies man that most of us guys wish we could be. I’m not kidding. And that what really bugs me. I want to be in Justin Timberlake’s shoes! How can I NOT be annoyed with myself in making that kind of statement!?
Before you laugh let’s just take a look at his resume, aight? He may went out with some other chicks in between, I don’t know, but I do know that when almost every teenage boys were drooling about her, guess who gets to bang Britney Spears? That’s right, it was Justin Timberlake. And it wasn’t much of a coincidence that by the time they broke up, Britney’s popularity began to wane down. It wasn’t obvious at first but believe me, it was starting to go downhill (the I’m a Slave 4U video, anyone?). With that he moved to the next IT girl of Hollywood – Cameron Diaz. She’s Princess Fiona and the hottest Angel among the three and guess what? Justin got to her too. And now they’ve broken up, one could not help to think that, oh, you know what? Cameron is no longer the one hot piece of ass she used to be. She’s not really away yet but would it surprise you that she’s already on her way? She’s #23 on FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006. I don’t think she’ll fare any better in 2007.
So, who’s Justin banging now? The beautifully sculpted Jessica Biel (if you’ve seen her underwear scene in I Now Pronounce Chuck and Larry, you’ll know what I mean). Y’know I’d never guessed someone like Biel would fall for someone like him. I mean, you have the pop princess. Then the Angel who likes to shake her “booty” in her underwear and you have Biel who plays a slick fighter pilot in Stealth and a vampire bounty hunter in Blade Trinity (albeit she looks incredibly amazing in both those roles) and you think, this is one tough chick. Seriously, a pop singer who does percussion with his mouth certainly doesn’t seem like a likely candidate that would able to lure such a creature in. And yet…
So, recap, how many guys you know who could say ‘I have scored Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel in one lifetime?’ Could you see now why I hate this guy so much? Oh, might I add, for his What Goes Around video, he also get to make out with Scarlett Johansson…in the pool! Fuck!
Man, like, forget about Leonardo Di Caprio, Johnny Depp or even Patrick Dempsey, as far as I know, Justin Timberlake is the luckiest sonofabitch in the entertainment industry. And for that, I really despise you, Justin.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
At The Gardens
Some people call it a crying call for attention. I just call it disgruntled blog readers due to lack of dosage. Well, good news, you godless sodomites. My MBA finals just ended last week so I am now on a 3 week semester break. And with all this free time I have decided to focus on my writing. Updating this blog more regularly is half of that agenda but also, I think it’s about time I get started on that book that will lead me to fame and fortune. Problem is, I have absolutely no idea where to start. All I do know is I’ll have a girl as among the leading characters and it’s going to end with a tragedy. I will definitely not go for a happy ending. Where’s the fun in that? People don’t remember happy endings. But people will always remember a tragic ending. The one that makes you gasp and go, ‘Oh my God!’ Well, maybe not an absolute disastrous one but an ending that is maybe not an idyllic situation but the best way possible how everything could have turned out. You don’t want Kong to die but he can’t continue terrorizing New York City the way he did. And you feel bad for Naomi Watts but in the end, it really is the beauty that killed the beast. Or something like MatchPoint. Really? Scar Jo? Or a little Mighty Aphrodite. They have each other’s child but don’t realize it. Something tells me I’m gonna watch a lot of Woody Allen movies for this.
In other shitty news, Mourinho has left West London and although there is still bitterness on how things are at the moment, as a Chelsea fan, I suppose I need to get behind Avram, whether I like it or not. Let’s face it, one way or the other, results are needed on the pitch and bitching about lost cause isn’t going to help anybody. The club needs to go forward but that Shevchenko guy is really getting on my nerves.
Moving on.
Now, it’s no secret that for the past few weeks I have been busy with all the projects and presentations, not to mention the finals itself for my MBA, that I rarely go out to KL. I went to Ampang and Pantai Dalam occasionally (and that little Sunday trip to PJ) but that’s basically it. Imagine my surprise when I drove around Bukit Bintang and found out they changed the traffic directions, yet again. I wasted an extra15 minutes trying to get to Low Yatt because I took, which was before, not suppose to be a wrong turn. I’m sure it’ll improve traffic flow but fuck it’s annoying. And it wasn’t helped that before that, I went to Mid Valley and just when I thought I have finally conquered their parking layout, they changed it too. Now they have a P3 level and premier lots and 32 different exits. Honestly, the little ‘guide’ on the parking ticket which I’m guessing supposed to be helpful? Nope, sorry, didn’t do its part.
However, the Mid Valley trip was totally worthwhile. I mean, I went to Low Yatt to get a new CMOS battery but I went to Mid Valley to meet my honey. And that is always worth my time. Seriously, my hair was growing out of control. I have been putting off to see Abby for two weeks now ‘cause I couldn’t fit the time in between. Well, I do now. And as I arrived at the 3rd floor, the Jantzen receptionist told me that Abby was transferred to the outlet at The Gardens. It was a good thing too because if she hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to check out the place myself. All I can say is that it does look a bit more stylish. The Gardens, that is (funny how The Gardens sounds a lot better than Taman-taman). Then again, Coach and Hugo Boss are among their tenants. And the staff do dress like they work at a 5 star hotel. Intriguing, and yet fascinating.
As for Jantzen’s new baby outlet, well, it’s called Hair Studio, located at the corner of Isetan’s 2nd floor entrance. In terms of size, it ridicules in comparison to the loft they have at Mid Valley. That’s why I call it a baby outlet. It’s so cramped. It looks just like one of those 15 minutes express haircut joints. Except this one has Abby in it and better interior. And she screamed in delight at the mere sight of me as I made my way through. Well, not really screamed but just a nice smile and an enthusiastic wave. I was the one who screamed in delight. I didn’t do that out loud though. But that’s what I felt inside. Instead I just gave a slight ‘hey’ nod. Y’know, something Brad Pitt would do.
Any-hoo, one thing I like about the new place is that there’s no crowd. Yeah, I know it was a Monday and all but that didn’t stop people from filling up Mid Valley right across. I just don’t know where all this people could find the time to go there. I mean, not everybody is on an MBA semester break are they? But back to our main story, even without a crowd, I still had to wait as she was attending to another client. And the shampoo assistant assigned to me was a bit rough and that was kind of annoying. And the water she took to my head was a tad too warm. Standards dropping a bit, aren’t we? That would also explain the absence of the all black dress code for the staff. For once, I see Abby dressed other than black. She was in a brown top and jeans. It was certainly a refreshing look. And she smelt of Ralph by Ralph Lauren. I just love how intoxically seductive that feels.
It was such a relief to have all that excess hair out of the way in the end. It felt like a burden was lifted. And Abby’s delicate fingers helped smoothen the process. I mean, really. As I was settling my bill, Abby handed me her new card and told me to take her hand phone number down just in case I require ‘more’ of her services besides the haircut. And she did mention something about her Thursdays as being very lonely. Okay, I made that last bit up but I do have her phone number though. Or as James Roday would put it – digits!
Actually, what really happened was, the new place has yet to have a phone line set up, so even though there’s a fixed line number on her new card, she couldn’t be reached, so in case I want to set up an appointment, I could just call her on her cell. By ‘appointment’, I’d like to think ‘booty call’, but y’know, different people different meaning. But really, if I choose to call her right here, right now, I do have that option. Just for the fun of it. But I won’t because it’s already past 1am and I’m a pussy. Ah damnit. I can already see that all too familiar comment coming. But, y’know, maybe I will ask her out for drinks…some day. Because, seriously, even though her nenen isn’t much to shout about but, damn, the possibility to have sex with her is ultimately glorious. Of course, she has a nice personality to boot as well. Oh yeah, sure.
In other shitty news, Mourinho has left West London and although there is still bitterness on how things are at the moment, as a Chelsea fan, I suppose I need to get behind Avram, whether I like it or not. Let’s face it, one way or the other, results are needed on the pitch and bitching about lost cause isn’t going to help anybody. The club needs to go forward but that Shevchenko guy is really getting on my nerves.
Moving on.
Now, it’s no secret that for the past few weeks I have been busy with all the projects and presentations, not to mention the finals itself for my MBA, that I rarely go out to KL. I went to Ampang and Pantai Dalam occasionally (and that little Sunday trip to PJ) but that’s basically it. Imagine my surprise when I drove around Bukit Bintang and found out they changed the traffic directions, yet again. I wasted an extra15 minutes trying to get to Low Yatt because I took, which was before, not suppose to be a wrong turn. I’m sure it’ll improve traffic flow but fuck it’s annoying. And it wasn’t helped that before that, I went to Mid Valley and just when I thought I have finally conquered their parking layout, they changed it too. Now they have a P3 level and premier lots and 32 different exits. Honestly, the little ‘guide’ on the parking ticket which I’m guessing supposed to be helpful? Nope, sorry, didn’t do its part.
However, the Mid Valley trip was totally worthwhile. I mean, I went to Low Yatt to get a new CMOS battery but I went to Mid Valley to meet my honey. And that is always worth my time. Seriously, my hair was growing out of control. I have been putting off to see Abby for two weeks now ‘cause I couldn’t fit the time in between. Well, I do now. And as I arrived at the 3rd floor, the Jantzen receptionist told me that Abby was transferred to the outlet at The Gardens. It was a good thing too because if she hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to check out the place myself. All I can say is that it does look a bit more stylish. The Gardens, that is (funny how The Gardens sounds a lot better than Taman-taman). Then again, Coach and Hugo Boss are among their tenants. And the staff do dress like they work at a 5 star hotel. Intriguing, and yet fascinating.
As for Jantzen’s new baby outlet, well, it’s called Hair Studio, located at the corner of Isetan’s 2nd floor entrance. In terms of size, it ridicules in comparison to the loft they have at Mid Valley. That’s why I call it a baby outlet. It’s so cramped. It looks just like one of those 15 minutes express haircut joints. Except this one has Abby in it and better interior. And she screamed in delight at the mere sight of me as I made my way through. Well, not really screamed but just a nice smile and an enthusiastic wave. I was the one who screamed in delight. I didn’t do that out loud though. But that’s what I felt inside. Instead I just gave a slight ‘hey’ nod. Y’know, something Brad Pitt would do.
Any-hoo, one thing I like about the new place is that there’s no crowd. Yeah, I know it was a Monday and all but that didn’t stop people from filling up Mid Valley right across. I just don’t know where all this people could find the time to go there. I mean, not everybody is on an MBA semester break are they? But back to our main story, even without a crowd, I still had to wait as she was attending to another client. And the shampoo assistant assigned to me was a bit rough and that was kind of annoying. And the water she took to my head was a tad too warm. Standards dropping a bit, aren’t we? That would also explain the absence of the all black dress code for the staff. For once, I see Abby dressed other than black. She was in a brown top and jeans. It was certainly a refreshing look. And she smelt of Ralph by Ralph Lauren. I just love how intoxically seductive that feels.
It was such a relief to have all that excess hair out of the way in the end. It felt like a burden was lifted. And Abby’s delicate fingers helped smoothen the process. I mean, really. As I was settling my bill, Abby handed me her new card and told me to take her hand phone number down just in case I require ‘more’ of her services besides the haircut. And she did mention something about her Thursdays as being very lonely. Okay, I made that last bit up but I do have her phone number though. Or as James Roday would put it – digits!
Actually, what really happened was, the new place has yet to have a phone line set up, so even though there’s a fixed line number on her new card, she couldn’t be reached, so in case I want to set up an appointment, I could just call her on her cell. By ‘appointment’, I’d like to think ‘booty call’, but y’know, different people different meaning. But really, if I choose to call her right here, right now, I do have that option. Just for the fun of it. But I won’t because it’s already past 1am and I’m a pussy. Ah damnit. I can already see that all too familiar comment coming. But, y’know, maybe I will ask her out for drinks…some day. Because, seriously, even though her nenen isn’t much to shout about but, damn, the possibility to have sex with her is ultimately glorious. Of course, she has a nice personality to boot as well. Oh yeah, sure.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The Departure of Mr Mourinho
Most of yesterday (Wednesday) was spent trying to figure out the case analysis that I was supposed to present today (Thursday) and a lengthy discussion with my managerial accounting lecturer. Then, it was business economics class. 3 hours of exchange rates, its determinants and the difference between flexible and fixed. By 10, I made my way to Ampang to attend Cipoi’s house warming BBQ party. Just a small crowd of less than 10. Enjoying grilled food. It started since 7 but they were nice enough to prolong the event just for my sake. Besides, it was me and Pidot who went to Carrefour Tuesday afternoon getting our hands on 20 pieces of lamb chops and 4 packets of hot dogs. Anyway, I had a quick bite of 2 chops and a burger. And they were surprisingly good. Just don’t tell Watai. But maybe also the fact that I got them right off the grill. Anyway, I was pretty much the last customer and we packed things up soon after. But since it was hardly 11 and BBQ does kind of leave you dehydrated, off to Pelita Ampang. But it was filled to the brim. It was even worse than the usual weekend crowd. We decided it just wasn’t worth the effort so we just hitched to Nasi Lemak Pandan by the corner of CIMB. Some space. A relief! So a round of teh ‘o’s and air suam, conversation were pretty much around the hot lady who just dropped by to bungkus some nasi lemak, Entourage and Chanel.
We called it a night just before 1. I got home and guess what? It’s Champions League night. Second round of Matchday 1. I watched the preview show but as expected, just about 10 minutes into the Sporting vs MU match, I slumped to dreamland. It was probably around 2 something. I woke up about 4.45 am, realizing ‘Damnit, I did it again!’ and managed to catch the post-match show of Richard Keys, Ruud Gullit, Jamie Redknapp and Graeme Souness. That was until my mother summoned me for sahur. Of course, I had mine on front of the TV.
Show ended about 6 and I have a group meeting at 10, and I still haven’t done my part yet. At this point my body is practically shouting for a rest, so what can I do? I surrendered myself to it. But for only up to 8.30 cause I need to take a bath and do a super quick presentation draft of my part. In an hour, I managed to produce 20 comprehensive slides. I was quite pleased with myself. Not bad for a drowsy, semi-conscious bloke.
With much laziness, I started up Jane and drove to UIA. Bemoaning that my day was just starting and I was not in an acceptable physical condition (as if I ever had one before), I switched on the radio to Hitz and then came the news snippet.
‘Chelsea has confirmed that Jose Mourinho has parted company with mutual consent’
WHAT, IN THE HELL, FUCK!!??
I knew my judgment was incredibly suspect at the time but I know what I heard. And it was the most heart-wrenching football news since Italy lost to South Korea in the 2002 World Cup. And even now, while I’m writing this, it still hasn’t sunk in. Mourinho no more? Shit, like, I love the guy! He brought the first Premiership title to Chelsea in 50 years. And it got worse when they appointed Avram Grant to take over first team affairs. Who the hell is this guy? Get Cappello for crying out loud! Not to mention we’re going to Old Trafford this weekend. Yes, the future suddenly look very bleak for Chelsea fans. This was not the kind of news I'd like to get on the day of my presentation.
My presentation went kinda well, by the way. Considering I’ve been walking around with a half lifeless body. Occasionally without realizing, softly chanting ‘Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho’ to myself.
I better get some sleep. I got a paper due noon tomorrow.
We called it a night just before 1. I got home and guess what? It’s Champions League night. Second round of Matchday 1. I watched the preview show but as expected, just about 10 minutes into the Sporting vs MU match, I slumped to dreamland. It was probably around 2 something. I woke up about 4.45 am, realizing ‘Damnit, I did it again!’ and managed to catch the post-match show of Richard Keys, Ruud Gullit, Jamie Redknapp and Graeme Souness. That was until my mother summoned me for sahur. Of course, I had mine on front of the TV.
Show ended about 6 and I have a group meeting at 10, and I still haven’t done my part yet. At this point my body is practically shouting for a rest, so what can I do? I surrendered myself to it. But for only up to 8.30 cause I need to take a bath and do a super quick presentation draft of my part. In an hour, I managed to produce 20 comprehensive slides. I was quite pleased with myself. Not bad for a drowsy, semi-conscious bloke.
With much laziness, I started up Jane and drove to UIA. Bemoaning that my day was just starting and I was not in an acceptable physical condition (as if I ever had one before), I switched on the radio to Hitz and then came the news snippet.
‘Chelsea has confirmed that Jose Mourinho has parted company with mutual consent’
WHAT, IN THE HELL, FUCK!!??
I knew my judgment was incredibly suspect at the time but I know what I heard. And it was the most heart-wrenching football news since Italy lost to South Korea in the 2002 World Cup. And even now, while I’m writing this, it still hasn’t sunk in. Mourinho no more? Shit, like, I love the guy! He brought the first Premiership title to Chelsea in 50 years. And it got worse when they appointed Avram Grant to take over first team affairs. Who the hell is this guy? Get Cappello for crying out loud! Not to mention we’re going to Old Trafford this weekend. Yes, the future suddenly look very bleak for Chelsea fans. This was not the kind of news I'd like to get on the day of my presentation.
My presentation went kinda well, by the way. Considering I’ve been walking around with a half lifeless body. Occasionally without realizing, softly chanting ‘Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho’ to myself.
I better get some sleep. I got a paper due noon tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
A Phone Call To Keira
To mark her 2Xth birthday, I decided to give Eiwa a call the other day. (I tried Aritha first but since I only got her voice mail, I thought maybe she turned her phone off to do some naughty stuff. I guess it’d be rude to intrude and left it at that. Well, wouldn’t you like to celebrate your birthday by doing naughty stuff? I know I would) And also since I have yet to talk to her in 2007 I think it’ll also serve as a nice gesture, don’t you think? Anyway, I was quite nervous since I don’t know how the conversation is going to be like. It has been THAT long, y’see. Maybe something weird or awkward would ensue but surprisingly no. It actually felt good. It felt like catching up with an old friend. And I also found out that she had lost her phone earlier this year and with it my phone number which would explain why I hadn’t heard anything from her all this while. Well, guess that’s poor marks for me for not giving HER a call once in a while. Twat.
And another thing, it still amazes me that I haven’t taken her out for that drink that I made her promised me ages ago. Even then and there. Well, not really then and there since she was at Genting at the time having fun with her girlfriends and all but if I had wanted to, I could have. Because during that brief conversation I did create value. I read from a dating expert somewhere (probably from Askmen.com) and he said that in order to create interest from the female, you have to first create value for yourself. Best example would be from Hitch in that Grey Goose Martini scene. Just when you started to get sucked in by the conversation, Will Smith goes by saying, ‘Well, it was nice talking to you Sara Melas,’ and just left. And the martinis came and Eva Mendes was left giggling. And I think I managed that. She did sound giggly at the end of the call. Or it could’ve been the high altitude.
Anyway, by the end of the call, it reminds me of how good it felt to have nice talk with a decent girl. That hasn’t happened to me for a while. The only conversation I have with a female these days is with Deb, and she swears more than any other boys I know. She’s the kind of girl that when you question her sexuality, she would grab her boobs and shout ‘Then what the fuck do you call these?’ Well it wasn’t us who claims she wants to be ‘one of the boys’. It was entirely her call. Which would explain why it is weird to see her wear a baju kurung when she attends weddings. By the day, she gets more and more like her idol Catherine Tate (check out BBC Entertainment, Astro CH26). So, it was very refreshing to come across a Keira Knightly once in a while. And it even beats a Courtney Love (Tita) episode too. Nice and charming at first then rude and loud the next. There’s also a bit of Tara Reid inside there too. And not really in a good way.
I think I should work something out with Keira here. It wouldn’t hurt, I’d give you that. More so since Ms Anna Kournikova (Jes) has since gone back to Sarawak. Not that I regularly go out with her but knowing that she’d be at Westin gives me a comfortable feeling. Like if all else fails, then hey, at least we can drop by at Jes’. I wish she had stayed there forever. Well, no more of that now.
As for Ms. U, well, I think a congratulations is in order. For those of you who couldn’t guess who am I referring to, let’s just say that Ms U is name that we do not speak of here at It’s A Guy Thing. It’s a thin line between love and hate and I learnt that the hard way. So, no, I don’t a need a revision course. As for Ms W, since her name has the same phonetics, I’d rather not take the risk of writing her name either. But she does has an incredibly sexy voice. Slightly sultry and her English is as smooth as silk. And I do get turned on by smooth English talking girls. Why do you think I like Keira so much? The real one that is. But it’s no surprise since the current MBA programme she’s taking is her 2nd Masters degree. Yikes! As for Mirsya, well, I’d save that for another time. And if we’re lucky, I’ll include a photo as well, and you’ll see what I mean by the Sharifah Amani look-alike. ‘Til then, folks.
And another thing, it still amazes me that I haven’t taken her out for that drink that I made her promised me ages ago. Even then and there. Well, not really then and there since she was at Genting at the time having fun with her girlfriends and all but if I had wanted to, I could have. Because during that brief conversation I did create value. I read from a dating expert somewhere (probably from Askmen.com) and he said that in order to create interest from the female, you have to first create value for yourself. Best example would be from Hitch in that Grey Goose Martini scene. Just when you started to get sucked in by the conversation, Will Smith goes by saying, ‘Well, it was nice talking to you Sara Melas,’ and just left. And the martinis came and Eva Mendes was left giggling. And I think I managed that. She did sound giggly at the end of the call. Or it could’ve been the high altitude.
Anyway, by the end of the call, it reminds me of how good it felt to have nice talk with a decent girl. That hasn’t happened to me for a while. The only conversation I have with a female these days is with Deb, and she swears more than any other boys I know. She’s the kind of girl that when you question her sexuality, she would grab her boobs and shout ‘Then what the fuck do you call these?’ Well it wasn’t us who claims she wants to be ‘one of the boys’. It was entirely her call. Which would explain why it is weird to see her wear a baju kurung when she attends weddings. By the day, she gets more and more like her idol Catherine Tate (check out BBC Entertainment, Astro CH26). So, it was very refreshing to come across a Keira Knightly once in a while. And it even beats a Courtney Love (Tita) episode too. Nice and charming at first then rude and loud the next. There’s also a bit of Tara Reid inside there too. And not really in a good way.
I think I should work something out with Keira here. It wouldn’t hurt, I’d give you that. More so since Ms Anna Kournikova (Jes) has since gone back to Sarawak. Not that I regularly go out with her but knowing that she’d be at Westin gives me a comfortable feeling. Like if all else fails, then hey, at least we can drop by at Jes’. I wish she had stayed there forever. Well, no more of that now.
As for Ms. U, well, I think a congratulations is in order. For those of you who couldn’t guess who am I referring to, let’s just say that Ms U is name that we do not speak of here at It’s A Guy Thing. It’s a thin line between love and hate and I learnt that the hard way. So, no, I don’t a need a revision course. As for Ms W, since her name has the same phonetics, I’d rather not take the risk of writing her name either. But she does has an incredibly sexy voice. Slightly sultry and her English is as smooth as silk. And I do get turned on by smooth English talking girls. Why do you think I like Keira so much? The real one that is. But it’s no surprise since the current MBA programme she’s taking is her 2nd Masters degree. Yikes! As for Mirsya, well, I’d save that for another time. And if we’re lucky, I’ll include a photo as well, and you’ll see what I mean by the Sharifah Amani look-alike. ‘Til then, folks.
Donat yang Bulat
I’d say of one of the fringe benefits of having a sister-in-law who is working as a flight attendant is that once in a while she would smuggle something nice from her trips and bring them home for the enjoyment of her unemployed brother-in-law. Like this morning my breakfast consists of gourmet sandwiches. Those little buns with slices of roast chicken inside them that only looks dry but comes bursting with flavour? Yep, those kind. I’m such a lucky bastard. Last week she took some mixed nuts packets that were reserved for 1st class passengers. I didn’t fancy them too much but it did trigger an early gout warning in my father’s toe. Needless to say, that was the last time he touched them. A couple of weeks back she brought home a big box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts all the way from London. She said she’s addicted to them and all her stewardesses friends so she thought she brought home some. And also because she has a fun time every time she goes through customs and on the X-ray monitors ‘nanti nampak bulat bulat bulat,’ and the officers would have that ‘what the fuck…?’ look on their faces. To me they were nothing really special. They’re good but not really mind-blowing. No variety and they’re all heavily sugar frosted which makes you hardly like to taste more than one piece. But she said that Carrefour recently have beginning to sell them too so you are welcome to try them yourself and have your on opinion about them. But to me, Big Apple at the Curve is still serve the most seductive doughnuts in town.
And It Was a Green Day
One of my motivations for writing this post after an overdue absence is so that Ridhu would have one taunt less when we go head to head during Winning 11 11 at Machiko’s. He would start ranting on something and then suddenly. ‘Dahla tak update blog!’ Yes, he’s a confessed regular and yes, it was totally uncalled for and although not exactly hurting, the chance to eliminate such jibes in future situations just seems… preferable.
Anyway, here we are. Post wedding day. Post reunion day. Post Last Hurrah for Jes at Genting day. Post Baby Jane’s return day. And post having the kitchen renovated. Actually that’s not post. It’s still on going. At one time I had this gaping hole on the side of my house. Needless to say, my mother had some pretty worrying nights as she constantly felt that we were so incredibly prone to house robbery those nights that at any time burglars would easily enter and ransack our house, steal the TV, ruin her decorative ornaments and shave the cats bald. None of those happened, of course. I, for one, refuse to be fearful in my own neighbourhood let alone within the compound of our house. Besides, I stay up late pretty much every night and if some shit do takes place, I’d be the first to know. So far, as I came home at around 3 or 4 in the morning on certain occasions, things are cool. No worries there.
As for the kitchen, well, I don’t know how exactly it’s going to look like when it’s finished but I do know we’re gonna have yellow kitchen cabinets. And if I’m not further mistaken, my father is having a Koi pond built around the house somewhere. Well, that’ll amuse Hobbes. Hobbes is my cat, by the way. Classic tabby. Weighs almost 3 kgs. Extremely lazy and an obvious fat ass but something tells me bright colored fishes would attract any cat’s attention no matter how physically passive they are.
Should I talk about the wedding? I should, shouldn’t I? Man, this what happens when you don’t blog after a while. An accumulation of blog-worthy things that’s left unwritten. And to totally discard those stories would be…unethical. Damn these management courses! I’m beginning to use words like ‘unethical’ to communicate myself in an unprofessional context.
Anyway, my brother’s wedding…what can I say? It was beautiful. Everything was so green. It was their theme. And having it at FRIM does help, I think. I was the designated driver for the couple. I was the one who drove them from Kak Chaya’s house to FRIM. Of course, almost nobody knew about this as the best man takes all the credit while I had to park the car in an already packed area.
Sasa, Sarah and Izzu came which was nice. No one from SAS came so that pretty sums up how they can be such fuckholes at times but Machiko did made an effort to came so I guess that entitles him to an exception. And yet, he still finds joy in beating my 5-0 twice in 1 day. Twice! I mean, I’m a seasoned Win 11 player like he is but damnit! I tell ya, Rooney is evil.
Anyway, back to the wedding. I kicked ass for my speech. Oh yes, I probably didn’t mention this but a few days before W-Day (get it? Yes, I know it’s lame) my mother told me that I have to give a speech on behalf of the family in welcoming my new sister-in-law. She will prepare it for me, of course, but a speech? Y’all kiddin’ me? Oh thank you for the head’s up. What did I do to deserve such pressure? Same shit when I was designated to become the MC for the Scuds reunion dinner. But, as always, I pulled through. Unfortunately though, no one was to give the plaudits. Because, y’see, the kenduri is an open affair. Meaning anyone would come whenever they want within the stipulated time, have their meal, meet some relatives, take some pictures with the bride and groom and leave. So, it’s not exactly a formal function where everyone is seated at their tables and conversations are turned into whispers. No. This one was like a traditional kenduri. It was riuh, so to speak. So was the case when I went to the podium. Even my mother missed it. She was like, ‘You’re done with the speech?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, about a half hour ago’. Only when the AV people compiled everything and made this edited DVD of the wedding day that people could finally embrace my awesomeness. I don’t know if they were patronizing me but credit is always welcome, how overdue it may be. And of course, Project Folklore received the same fate. Fully enjoyed only by the closest family members. My grandmother loved my speech. Aren’t they great? Even if you suck, they always say nice things to you.
That’s basically it actually. Truth is, that event took place more than a month ago so the buzz is pretty much gone. Which would explain my lack of enthusiasm. And we have yet to go into reunion day. Or that day at Genting. Or Mrs ‘U’, who is expecting. Or Mrs ‘W’, who isn’t but has one hell of a sexy voice. Or Mirsya, the Indonesian who looks like Sharifah Amani with a headscarf. One of my main motivations to come to class every Monday and Thursday. And Eiwa is somehow still my guilty pleasure. Other people has chocolates but mine has tits and if memory has anything to go by, a very delectable ass. How on earth does this feel guilty!?
If you see any wedding photos in this post, chances are they are added later. Cheers.
Oh yeah, Jane’s back. Took a while but she’s back. No more problems ever since. I so rock.
Anyway, here we are. Post wedding day. Post reunion day. Post Last Hurrah for Jes at Genting day. Post Baby Jane’s return day. And post having the kitchen renovated. Actually that’s not post. It’s still on going. At one time I had this gaping hole on the side of my house. Needless to say, my mother had some pretty worrying nights as she constantly felt that we were so incredibly prone to house robbery those nights that at any time burglars would easily enter and ransack our house, steal the TV, ruin her decorative ornaments and shave the cats bald. None of those happened, of course. I, for one, refuse to be fearful in my own neighbourhood let alone within the compound of our house. Besides, I stay up late pretty much every night and if some shit do takes place, I’d be the first to know. So far, as I came home at around 3 or 4 in the morning on certain occasions, things are cool. No worries there.
As for the kitchen, well, I don’t know how exactly it’s going to look like when it’s finished but I do know we’re gonna have yellow kitchen cabinets. And if I’m not further mistaken, my father is having a Koi pond built around the house somewhere. Well, that’ll amuse Hobbes. Hobbes is my cat, by the way. Classic tabby. Weighs almost 3 kgs. Extremely lazy and an obvious fat ass but something tells me bright colored fishes would attract any cat’s attention no matter how physically passive they are.
Should I talk about the wedding? I should, shouldn’t I? Man, this what happens when you don’t blog after a while. An accumulation of blog-worthy things that’s left unwritten. And to totally discard those stories would be…unethical. Damn these management courses! I’m beginning to use words like ‘unethical’ to communicate myself in an unprofessional context.
Anyway, my brother’s wedding…what can I say? It was beautiful. Everything was so green. It was their theme. And having it at FRIM does help, I think. I was the designated driver for the couple. I was the one who drove them from Kak Chaya’s house to FRIM. Of course, almost nobody knew about this as the best man takes all the credit while I had to park the car in an already packed area.
Sasa, Sarah and Izzu came which was nice. No one from SAS came so that pretty sums up how they can be such fuckholes at times but Machiko did made an effort to came so I guess that entitles him to an exception. And yet, he still finds joy in beating my 5-0 twice in 1 day. Twice! I mean, I’m a seasoned Win 11 player like he is but damnit! I tell ya, Rooney is evil.
Anyway, back to the wedding. I kicked ass for my speech. Oh yes, I probably didn’t mention this but a few days before W-Day (get it? Yes, I know it’s lame) my mother told me that I have to give a speech on behalf of the family in welcoming my new sister-in-law. She will prepare it for me, of course, but a speech? Y’all kiddin’ me? Oh thank you for the head’s up. What did I do to deserve such pressure? Same shit when I was designated to become the MC for the Scuds reunion dinner. But, as always, I pulled through. Unfortunately though, no one was to give the plaudits. Because, y’see, the kenduri is an open affair. Meaning anyone would come whenever they want within the stipulated time, have their meal, meet some relatives, take some pictures with the bride and groom and leave. So, it’s not exactly a formal function where everyone is seated at their tables and conversations are turned into whispers. No. This one was like a traditional kenduri. It was riuh, so to speak. So was the case when I went to the podium. Even my mother missed it. She was like, ‘You’re done with the speech?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, about a half hour ago’. Only when the AV people compiled everything and made this edited DVD of the wedding day that people could finally embrace my awesomeness. I don’t know if they were patronizing me but credit is always welcome, how overdue it may be. And of course, Project Folklore received the same fate. Fully enjoyed only by the closest family members. My grandmother loved my speech. Aren’t they great? Even if you suck, they always say nice things to you.
That’s basically it actually. Truth is, that event took place more than a month ago so the buzz is pretty much gone. Which would explain my lack of enthusiasm. And we have yet to go into reunion day. Or that day at Genting. Or Mrs ‘U’, who is expecting. Or Mrs ‘W’, who isn’t but has one hell of a sexy voice. Or Mirsya, the Indonesian who looks like Sharifah Amani with a headscarf. One of my main motivations to come to class every Monday and Thursday. And Eiwa is somehow still my guilty pleasure. Other people has chocolates but mine has tits and if memory has anything to go by, a very delectable ass. How on earth does this feel guilty!?
If you see any wedding photos in this post, chances are they are added later. Cheers.
Oh yeah, Jane’s back. Took a while but she’s back. No more problems ever since. I so rock.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
'W'
False alarm, ladies and gents. It’ is spelt with a ‘W’. I know it doesn’t make much of a difference but somehow it feels like it. And the other thing about the forgiveness? Yeah, I think that’s a load a bull too. There’s no way I’ll be getting off the hook that easily. I must be drunk when wrote that.
Anyway, Project Folklore has been completed. Well, at least from my part. All the raw materials has been submitted to the wedding planner. Now it is up to them to edit the snippets into what they see fit. As for my speech, I thought it was pretty good. But it could’ve been better. I only had an hour practice and during recording, the house cuckoo clock suddenly decided to make known of its existence. ‘Cuckoo! Cuckoo!’ it went without warning. During that brief moment, my composure got a little sidetracked. And I can’t do a second take because I was rushing to class. So, what you see is what you get. But overall I think it went well.
Baby Jane is still at the works. The search for the elusive ECU still drags on. Currently, I have to rely on Valerie on a day to day basis. No stereo and handling is rather lopsided at times but she manages. We might go to Mid Valley today for an appointment with Abby. Oh yes, Abby. Her touch can soften the hardest of souls. Got to be ready you see. Wedding day is only matter of days now. One thing I did realize though was that I have so few female friends. Fewer still who are single. I invited some of my closest buddies over the years to this wedding day – namely from SAS and UTP. And it dawned to me, I need more chicks around me. Funny ‘cause at one time I had enough of them going around. Oh wait, I know what happened – they got married! First they were single and fun. Then came the boyfriend and you get blown off more often then came the ‘M’ word and you realize, telling dirty jokes feels rather awkward now.
Somehow I feel I gonna get another ‘be a man!’ comment.
Anyway, cheers for now.
Anyway, Project Folklore has been completed. Well, at least from my part. All the raw materials has been submitted to the wedding planner. Now it is up to them to edit the snippets into what they see fit. As for my speech, I thought it was pretty good. But it could’ve been better. I only had an hour practice and during recording, the house cuckoo clock suddenly decided to make known of its existence. ‘Cuckoo! Cuckoo!’ it went without warning. During that brief moment, my composure got a little sidetracked. And I can’t do a second take because I was rushing to class. So, what you see is what you get. But overall I think it went well.
Baby Jane is still at the works. The search for the elusive ECU still drags on. Currently, I have to rely on Valerie on a day to day basis. No stereo and handling is rather lopsided at times but she manages. We might go to Mid Valley today for an appointment with Abby. Oh yes, Abby. Her touch can soften the hardest of souls. Got to be ready you see. Wedding day is only matter of days now. One thing I did realize though was that I have so few female friends. Fewer still who are single. I invited some of my closest buddies over the years to this wedding day – namely from SAS and UTP. And it dawned to me, I need more chicks around me. Funny ‘cause at one time I had enough of them going around. Oh wait, I know what happened – they got married! First they were single and fun. Then came the boyfriend and you get blown off more often then came the ‘M’ word and you realize, telling dirty jokes feels rather awkward now.
Somehow I feel I gonna get another ‘be a man!’ comment.
Anyway, cheers for now.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
True Story of the Day
I went to my first MBA class today and under normal circumstances, why would I even attempt to go through the trouble of writing my experience but something really peculiar happened and I think it’s worth my time and effort to share it with you.
There’s this lady in my class. Malay, late 20s I guess, probably married with kids, baju kurung, bertudung, just your typical office mate I presume and at the beginning of the class, each of the students was required to stand up and introduce themselves. So, came her turn, she stood up and with a calm manner she announced,
‘Assalamualaikum, name saye Najua…’
As her name vibrated through the whole room, I couldn’t remember what she said next as I was temporarily transfixed. People, I could not have possibly made this up. This is an honest to god truth story. Well, maybe her name is spelt with a ‘W’, I don’t know. What I do know is, throughout the night, this irony really gave me the creeps. I don’t know what twisted little game fate has been toying me with but, damn it, it sure as hell working. The lady herself doesn’t realize a thing what she had done to a fat bloke sitting at the last row simply by pronouncing her name. As for me, all the memories were coming back thick and fast, and honestly, it’s not a pleasant feeling. Here I am still trying to get though my latest tragedy and here comes a stark reminder of the previous one. How on earth do you expect me to move on? It’s already difficult as it is. Stop fucking with me!!
And you know what? I came home, turned to my computer, checking my emails as usual and while I was browsing through the ‘Who’s Viewed Me’ section of my Friendster account and guess whose name popped out? C’mon just give a wild guess. That’s right. I already said her name once, I’m not gonna do it twice. There were only 2 viewing since yesterday. one was Oni and the other was her. And this is the genuine article. I don’t know what ticked her to click my name because, by golly, I even disconnected her from my network of friends. A new slate, remember? Then this happens. I mean, what the fuck? Is this some kind of a joke? Is this god’s way of sharing his sense of humour? ‘I’ll put this girl with the THE name together with him in his MBA class and have the actual girl checking out his Friendster account. That should screw his mind out. Oh this should be fun,’
Seriously?
Why should she view my profile anyway? I don’t know what it means. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Maybe she has softened enough to have forgiven me. I just don’t know. All this and I have yet to come up with a speech for Project Folklore. Oh, today’s operation went well, so to speak. I even went to Petronas Research, Bangi to video some of my brother’s work colleagues. And while I was over there, I caught a glimpse of a Decepticon freezer truck parked within the perimeters. It’s true then. They are already here.
Oh, by the way, about the Dayana story in the previous post, what I meant to say was that I should use the ‘I’m not working, still studying’ gig again more often when to comes to paying food since people tend to be more sympathetic to me that way. Hey, it’s not my fault when they ask, ‘kau buat ape skrg?’ Requesting an answer from me for that kind of question, you are asking yourself to be put in a guilty position…especially when you were under the assumption that we were supposed to split the bill.
Oh well. Got a long day tomorrow. Good night, folks. I’ll see you tomorrow, Najua.
There’s this lady in my class. Malay, late 20s I guess, probably married with kids, baju kurung, bertudung, just your typical office mate I presume and at the beginning of the class, each of the students was required to stand up and introduce themselves. So, came her turn, she stood up and with a calm manner she announced,
‘Assalamualaikum, name saye Najua…’
As her name vibrated through the whole room, I couldn’t remember what she said next as I was temporarily transfixed. People, I could not have possibly made this up. This is an honest to god truth story. Well, maybe her name is spelt with a ‘W’, I don’t know. What I do know is, throughout the night, this irony really gave me the creeps. I don’t know what twisted little game fate has been toying me with but, damn it, it sure as hell working. The lady herself doesn’t realize a thing what she had done to a fat bloke sitting at the last row simply by pronouncing her name. As for me, all the memories were coming back thick and fast, and honestly, it’s not a pleasant feeling. Here I am still trying to get though my latest tragedy and here comes a stark reminder of the previous one. How on earth do you expect me to move on? It’s already difficult as it is. Stop fucking with me!!
And you know what? I came home, turned to my computer, checking my emails as usual and while I was browsing through the ‘Who’s Viewed Me’ section of my Friendster account and guess whose name popped out? C’mon just give a wild guess. That’s right. I already said her name once, I’m not gonna do it twice. There were only 2 viewing since yesterday. one was Oni and the other was her. And this is the genuine article. I don’t know what ticked her to click my name because, by golly, I even disconnected her from my network of friends. A new slate, remember? Then this happens. I mean, what the fuck? Is this some kind of a joke? Is this god’s way of sharing his sense of humour? ‘I’ll put this girl with the THE name together with him in his MBA class and have the actual girl checking out his Friendster account. That should screw his mind out. Oh this should be fun,’
Seriously?
Why should she view my profile anyway? I don’t know what it means. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Maybe she has softened enough to have forgiven me. I just don’t know. All this and I have yet to come up with a speech for Project Folklore. Oh, today’s operation went well, so to speak. I even went to Petronas Research, Bangi to video some of my brother’s work colleagues. And while I was over there, I caught a glimpse of a Decepticon freezer truck parked within the perimeters. It’s true then. They are already here.
Oh, by the way, about the Dayana story in the previous post, what I meant to say was that I should use the ‘I’m not working, still studying’ gig again more often when to comes to paying food since people tend to be more sympathetic to me that way. Hey, it’s not my fault when they ask, ‘kau buat ape skrg?’ Requesting an answer from me for that kind of question, you are asking yourself to be put in a guilty position…especially when you were under the assumption that we were supposed to split the bill.
Oh well. Got a long day tomorrow. Good night, folks. I’ll see you tomorrow, Najua.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Aritha's Wedding
Good evening, people. Chronologically I should start with my trip to Penang. But since I just arrived back from Mentakab, feeling fresh after a good warm bath and with the house all to myself, I think it’s befitting to start with Aritha’s wedding. Yes, people, she is now officially married. Finally, I can say that out loud. The first time she broke the news to me about two months ago, she made took a vow of silence on the subject. No telling anyone, albeit I was among the last to know. If I do, she would kill me. She literally said, ‘Faizad, kalau kau bitau sesape, aku bunuh kau,’ Something tells me she wasn’t kidding this time around. So much was I determined to keep my promise that once, on the way back from Low Yatt, Big Show somehow asked me on Aritha’s well being. I was stumped because I don’t exactly how to answer that. Then Tomok cut in by saying, ‘Aku dengar die nak kawin. Kau tanye badok,’
Oh fuck.
In an honestly fashion, I replied, ‘Aku takleh jawab soalan tu sebab aku takut aku kena bunuh,’ they both laughed at my statement but in that moment I could almost picture Aritha’s wide-eyed face should I utter the words along the lines of, ‘Oh kau tak tau ke? Die nak kawin dlm bulan depan camtu,’ And somehow Aritha would telepathically know what I did and yell, ‘FAIZAD!!’ Honest to god truth, I was scared shitless.
But everything’s okay now.
The akad nikah and majlis berinai was held yesterday, Saturday, June the 30th, 2007. The kenduri itself was held earlier this afternoon.
Personally, I am lost for words in describing the whole event. Basically, it was beautiful. And of course, it’s not enough simply describing it because it was a visual feast. One of those things that even the best writers couldn’t do justice in elaborating the words to give their readers an inkling what it meant to be there and living the moment. Or, it could just be another excuse for low-life writers like me in avoiding to come up with bombastic words to equal that of Shakespeare. My love is deep. The more I gave thee, the more I have. Anyone?
Anyway, I must say, Mentakab is just so hot. And I don’t mean it in the same context as I would describe Angelina Jolie. It was exactly scorching but you can feel the hest emanating from beneath you, rising up constantly. Though I truly dislike using these words onto myself, but by god was I sweating like pig. I know walking around with a bunch of Kleenexes in your hands isn’t exactly masculine but it came to the point that I just don’t give a damn. But in hindsight, it’s better to have that than to have a rainy affair now, wouldn’t it? That would seriously create some problems. But as it was, everything went well. And I just felt glad for the newlyweds. Especially for the dear friend of mine, Aritha. Never have I thought that among the four of Jes, Sasa, Zal and her, she would be the first to tie the knot. A few years ago, while still in UTP, I made a bold prediction and put my money on Zal to settle down first among the foursome. And ironically, I betted that Aritha would the last candidate. Well, how wrong I turned out to be. But in reviewing my initial prediction, now I couldn’t possibly guess who would be next in following Aritha’s footsteps. Kak Nieta says it’ll be Sasa. But I have no gut feelings to repute nor disrepute that. As far as I look at it, people seem to easily fall in and out of love nowadays and apparently the same could be said about getting married. But whoever it may be next, I’d be happy for them, no matter what.
Now, philosophical deliberations aside, as for the actual event themselves, well, for the akad nikah, it was held at the neighbourhood surau just across the field from Aritha’s parent’s house so we all just gladly walked. Who am I kidding? We’re from the city, for god’s sakes, of course we took a car ride for the 200 metres journey. Besides, air-conditioning never felt so good. The surau itself is not exactly generous in space so you can say it did got a little cramped. But what bothered the most apart from my Made-in-Switzerland Bally shoes had its right sole came off for no apparent reason (thank god I had my Hush Puppies sandals in Sasa’s car, if not, embarrassment could’ve been worse) was that the Tok Kadi’s refusal to use the microphone when the actual akad nikah was uttered. They didn’t mind using the PA system to recite the unfathomable pantuns and explaining the responsibilities of both the husband and wife. But I guess, it did somehow turned out for the better because before I knew it, it was over. If not, then I would have ended up crying. No, wait, that was Sasa. She was the one almost crying. Right.
Anyway, after the akad nikah was over, and Aritha was officially denounced as a single lady, we took a breather back to our hotel at Bukit Bendera Resort for an hour or so. Yes, people, there’s a resort in Mentakab. Don’t ask me how or when, it’s just there. Deal with it. I, for one, am glad that such a place even exists. It made the one night stay a more worthwhile affair. Zalina and Sasa had trouble with the bathroom though. They say it smells funny. I on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered. I don’t know if it’s because they have so gotten used to Jes’ place at Westin or that I’m a guy and have seen and been through worse.
Anyway, the majlis berinai is one peculiar event. This may sound foolish but before this I never even heard of such a thing. From what it sounds, it could only imagine that it involves inai on the bride’s hands and I couldn’t guess what goes on beyond that. But from what Sasa had told me, it is a picture-taking opportunity for the close families and friends of the wedding couple. They would put on nice dresses and if you fancy it, then go up there with the celebrated couple. I couldn’t quite grasp the concept yet at the time of explanation but as the night went on, then I finally get it. To me, it’s like a sneak peek of a movie. A midnight show before the big proper release. It was quite the same here. The dresses is purposely made for that night alone and they would sit on the pelamin to give a taste of what the actual bersanding would look and feel like. In essence, it’s just another reason to party. And I do mean party, for some of the guests. They plugged in a karaoke machine to the sound system and all AF wanna-be came out horns blazing that night. Suffice to say, my ears didn’t enjoy a great night. But, as for the bride and groom, they look magnificent. Dressed in a combination of white and lilac, honestly, I think they look better in them than what they would actually wear on Sunday. This one is more modern and chic. Sunday’s attire was more traditional but hey, I grew up watching Friends, so sue me.
But, one thing though, damn do they take an awfully long time to get ready. The newlyweds, I mean. Especially the bride. She must have gone though hours of make-up. We, the friends, already arrived fashionably late as always, about a quarter past 9. And they only came out about a little past 10. That’s almost an hour of karaoke torture. Please, would someone destroy that annoying machine?
But when they did come out, I think you could say it was worth the wait. I have never quite remembered Aritha looking as beautiful as she did that night. It was proof alone how Farris (the groom) could have fallen for her. What can I say? Lucky man.
Oh wait, before I move on, I just want to mention that how much I couldn’t believe that Aritha’s mother and eldest sister could recognize and know my name. For the past 5 years or so, I could say that I have personally met them only once or twice. Maybe thrice. But, man, to remember me the moment I stepped onto the courtyard earlier that afternoon? That was so unnerving. I know I couldn’t have made such an impression on those brief moments of acquaintances. It is kind of unsettling to hold out your hand and for them to say, ‘Faizad, kan?’ Throughout the two-day event I feel that at any given time moment I would burst out and unwittingly confess, ‘Ma’am, nothing happened at The Ascott. I didn’t touch your daughter/sister. I wanted to…but… no,’ Thankfully, such a scene didn’t take place. Hopefully never.
And the other thing, earlier during the akad nikah, while Sasa and Kak Nieta were drooling over one of Farris’ best men who I could swore I chilled with during my last trip to Langkawi on Chenang beach (though I have yet to confirm that with Cipoi, for whom was with me at the time), I had my eye on one of the ladies. Initially I had given up hope of finding a fun subject (i.e. a fancy lady) among the crowd after a brief glance around. More makcik-makcik than adik-adik manis around here. But there was this one girl who was such a looker. She virtually stood out from all of them. But one problem though. She always seems to be carrying this child around and even though there was no man in sight throughout the time that would suggest a boyfriend/fiancé/husband, she does sport a golden band around her finger that looks pretty much like a wedding ring. Is she single? Coming alone while leaving her man behind? Divorced? Single mother? What? The thought confounded and tormented me endlessly. But that still didn’t stop us from having our glances crossed more than a couple of times. From that moment at the surau ‘til the kenduri ended this afternoon. It may not be flirtatious in nature but I can safely say we did notice each other. It was not on the drive back home that I learnt from Sasa that the lady in question is actually Farris’ younger sister (!!!!!!!!!!!) What the f**k!? Are You F*****g Me!!? No wonder I missed the exit to the Lebuhraya Pantai Timur from Lanchang. I was cajoling with Aritha’s sister-in-law. Man, this is getting embarrassing. But when I questioned her availability to Sasa, she said she doesn’t know either. I mean, no big surprise there. Who would know, in fact? Apart from Farris himself. But, now that I think about it, I mean, she is Aritha’s sister-in-law, right? It’s a no-brainer, right? I could just ask Aritha about her, right? That is, after she’s done with this small matter of her wedding, of course. She still has to go to Kelantan for another round at the groom’s place, y’know. I’ll take a rain check on that.
Now, where were we? Ah yes, the majlis berinai. It was wonderful. I was getting sleepy but still wonderful. And oh yes, there’s Farris’ sister looking at me again….with a child in her hands. That’s nice. The event ended a little over 12. Maybe even later, but that was the time when we left. The couple was in the bilik pengantin doing I don’t know what and Sasa was beginning to make a lot of noises about wanting to go to bed. Yeah, right. One phone call from ‘B’ and she was ready to chat the whole night. Oh the things I have to pay having to share a room with a woman intoxically in love. And how surprisingly, Kak Nieta turned out to be the more tolerable roommate. He was out like a lamp. That is, right after we went horsing around the concept of harassing room 120 (the room allegedly where Farris’ friends were staying in). For me, well, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore posed a much better prospect. I was petting my walrus this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How can that not be funny?
Then came the morning of July 1st. The big day has dawned. And it started in not the best of ways. First I thought of getting a dip in the pool bright and early but then I found out it was closed due to renovation works. Plus the water reeks of green algae. Then the so-called buffet breakfast was horrible. Slightly better than the one I had during the trip to Melaka with Tomok, Nebu and Lantoi. Better, but still not even coming close to satisfactory. So I drove Dean along with Nieta and Sasa to Mentakab town and decided on an eatery named Saodah Dollah. For the simple reason of the establishment’s name. Both were so taken off with the name that they actually took pictures of the place with their cam phones. I was just looking forward to the food. For me, here was a perfect opportunity to try out some little town style breakfast. Where the preparation is more towards the flavor of the food rather than commercialization reasons. And when I took that first bite of their nasi lemak, I thought, well, that was dissapointing. It was as unspectacular as I hoped it wasn’t to be. In fact, I had better back at the city. At least the price here was delightfully enjoyable. RM3.50 for a teh tarik and a small plate of nasi lemak sotong. Try to get that in KL. You’re lucky to get nasi lemak at all.
By the time we got back to our hotel, Irwan just arrived with his entourage of Jes and Sarah. Irwan drove his mother to KL the night before and Zal tagged along because she couldn’t attend Sunday’s event due to work. Coming back here, to Mentakab, Irwan picked up Jes (who had to work on Saturday) and Sarah (who decided just to come on Sunday). So there we were. All of them looking all nice and dandy, while I was standing in my shorts next to Nieta who has yet to take a morning bath. Yes, we were the perfect choice for model citizens.
Jes being Jes, would let you know in no uncertain terms how displeased she is when the tardiness of other people (i.e Nieta) is affecting and/or delaying her personal schedule. And, oh you know how long girls take to get ready especially as big as something as the wedding of one of your closest friends. Everything has to be perfect. Fortunately, for guys, perfection only requires 10 minutes or so. Isn’t it funny how I always turn out to be the innocent bystander in every case?
We finally managed to check-out at exactly around noon, funny considering how punctual we turned out to be in the end. And Tomok was busy calling me every 5 minutes to know when I’d be coming to Aritha’s place since he was getting restless without decent mate to talk to.
Upon arrival, we went straight to the bilik pengantin to find the bride who had just completed her make-over sitting on the side of her very pink bed. As with every bride, and much so in this case, she was a sight to behold. Again, words fail me but I’ll try to include some pictures here when Irwan puts them up online. He was the one with the camera. But if I had to put into words of the ethereal figure that has presented itself before me is then it is this - the mere sight of her beauty will never age for me, nor fade, nor die. Come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy, that one short minute gives me in her sight. But, well, that’s just me.
Pictures were taken inside the quarters and while most of the group went out to enjoy lunch, I opted to stay. One reason being the delectable air-conditioning the room has and the other, being the reason that I feel it is important for me just to be there with Aritha before the final moments of her unveiling to the waiting crowd gathered outside on this grandiose day of her wedding. Sure, she has Sasa as her pengapit but, damn it, I just want to be there. Ridhu may not believe this but my appetite can wait. This was a once in a lifetime event. In that instance, everything else was trivial.
Minutes before the actual unveiling, I went out for a head start. And being close friends of the bride, and the recognition of the bride’s eldest sister, we got the orders to ‘linger about’ when the groom’s rombongan arrives. Appearing more important than we actually are. But, of course, no harm can be done there. Besides, I could see Farris’ sister again. Oh there she’s returning my look. Yep, and there’s the child again. I couldn’t be sure if it’s the same one from the night before. Oh well, that story can wait.
As for the bride and groom, they went up to the pelamin, while I stayed back of the crowd with Acai and Tomok, as it was getting rather crammed up front. Everyone wanted to see the newly weds, y’see. While the proceedings went on from the silat to the zapin to the dining for the bride and groom, I made my around the compound. Staying here and there, dabbing sweats off my forehead. I think being close of friends of either one of the married couple can be the best jobs at a wedding. You don’t have to do any work because you are sort of guests of the family and you’re not obliged to mingle with everyone because you’re not exactly family either. So most of the time you just sit around, have unrestricted supply to drinks and only have to meet people that you want to meet. Like the groom’s sister. Which I didn’t. Sasob.
As time went by and the crowd faded away, again pictures were taken, glances exchanged between bride’s close friend and groom’s sister, cam phones secretly snapping away at the groom’s childhood buddies, it was nearly time to call it a day for the bride’s friends from the city. They have certainly watched the becoming of one of their closest members. Sure we shall be seeing her again soon but make no mistake, an important day this was and one should not be easily forgotten. I, for one, am truly honoured to be there on such a momentous occasion. Though I cannot say the same thing for Apau. However, in the end, there’s just one thing left to say:
To Farris and Aritha,
Selamat Pengantin Baru.
With that, a story about my trip to Penang now seems rather insignificant. I mean, seriously, there was nothing much worth mentioning. Maybe if I have the energy to write something about it, I will. But, oh wait, one more little story before we sign off.
On the way back from Mentakab, we all stopped by at Genting Sempah for refreshments at McDonalds. The lines at the counter were long and to save time, Dayana Rosti who was queuing in front of me suggested to place an order together. So we did and she paid first. Then we all sat down, talking, having a good laugh, buat macam rumah sendiri, when at the end of it, before we move to our separate cars and head our own ways, I offered to pay for the meal that Dayana had paid for earlier. Imagine my surprise when she said, ‘No, it’s okay. Kau still tgh study, kan?’ Yeah, I think I did mention about doing my MBA at UIA at the time being while chatting to her during the queue. But get this. Dayana Rosti just paid a McDonalds meal for me. The daughter of the former rector of UTP and current VP of Education at Petronas just paid for my McDonalds meal. Now I feel guilty for all the terrible names I called her during our university days. If I could’ve turn back time bearing this latest revelation that I have now to back then, I would have…….still call her those names because it was so much fun doing so those days! Man, what a horrible person I am. But, honestly, the paying for was indeed a nice gesture. I mean, it’s not that I have paid for any of her meals before. She has started rolling the wheel first. One day I might have to return the gesture. Shit, I am so getting the butt of jokes with that statement. Soon speculation will rise on whether I’d be hitting on her. This is how rumours start. And blogging about it doesn’t exactly help in diminishing those, does it?
Anyway, the Mentakab trip was fabulous and I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life – for a variety of reasons. But things are not over yet for me. My brother’s getting married this coming weekend and Project Folklore is yet to be completed. It’s a task my brother handed to me to record wishes and speeches from close families and friends commenting on the impending wedding. The deadline is Tuesday night because that’s when we’ll hand the collected recordings to the editor. Most is done so far. Just two more friends, our parents, my sister and myself. I’ve been thinking about this for the past two weeks and I still don’t know what to say. I’m the groom’s brother, for crying out loud. What I say will carry much weight. I’m the next in line. If he’s William, then I’m Harry. That was good, wasn’t it? Yeah, I’ve thought of putting that in. A little touch of humour, don’t you think? But whatever it is, I have to come up with something quickly. What’s worse, my MBA classes start tomorrow. Actually later today considering it’s already 1 am. And it’s going to be 6.30 – 10 pm every night from Monday to Thursday. Little tight on time? Tell me about it.
Anyway, time to sign off. Thank you for reading. I might as well hit the sack. It’s going to be a busy week, especially in the next 48 hours. Well, again, congratulations to Farris and Aritha. Good night to all. Wait a second, I wonder what Aritha’s doing right now….
Oh fuck.
In an honestly fashion, I replied, ‘Aku takleh jawab soalan tu sebab aku takut aku kena bunuh,’ they both laughed at my statement but in that moment I could almost picture Aritha’s wide-eyed face should I utter the words along the lines of, ‘Oh kau tak tau ke? Die nak kawin dlm bulan depan camtu,’ And somehow Aritha would telepathically know what I did and yell, ‘FAIZAD!!’ Honest to god truth, I was scared shitless.
But everything’s okay now.
The akad nikah and majlis berinai was held yesterday, Saturday, June the 30th, 2007. The kenduri itself was held earlier this afternoon.
Personally, I am lost for words in describing the whole event. Basically, it was beautiful. And of course, it’s not enough simply describing it because it was a visual feast. One of those things that even the best writers couldn’t do justice in elaborating the words to give their readers an inkling what it meant to be there and living the moment. Or, it could just be another excuse for low-life writers like me in avoiding to come up with bombastic words to equal that of Shakespeare. My love is deep. The more I gave thee, the more I have. Anyone?
Anyway, I must say, Mentakab is just so hot. And I don’t mean it in the same context as I would describe Angelina Jolie. It was exactly scorching but you can feel the hest emanating from beneath you, rising up constantly. Though I truly dislike using these words onto myself, but by god was I sweating like pig. I know walking around with a bunch of Kleenexes in your hands isn’t exactly masculine but it came to the point that I just don’t give a damn. But in hindsight, it’s better to have that than to have a rainy affair now, wouldn’t it? That would seriously create some problems. But as it was, everything went well. And I just felt glad for the newlyweds. Especially for the dear friend of mine, Aritha. Never have I thought that among the four of Jes, Sasa, Zal and her, she would be the first to tie the knot. A few years ago, while still in UTP, I made a bold prediction and put my money on Zal to settle down first among the foursome. And ironically, I betted that Aritha would the last candidate. Well, how wrong I turned out to be. But in reviewing my initial prediction, now I couldn’t possibly guess who would be next in following Aritha’s footsteps. Kak Nieta says it’ll be Sasa. But I have no gut feelings to repute nor disrepute that. As far as I look at it, people seem to easily fall in and out of love nowadays and apparently the same could be said about getting married. But whoever it may be next, I’d be happy for them, no matter what.
Now, philosophical deliberations aside, as for the actual event themselves, well, for the akad nikah, it was held at the neighbourhood surau just across the field from Aritha’s parent’s house so we all just gladly walked. Who am I kidding? We’re from the city, for god’s sakes, of course we took a car ride for the 200 metres journey. Besides, air-conditioning never felt so good. The surau itself is not exactly generous in space so you can say it did got a little cramped. But what bothered the most apart from my Made-in-Switzerland Bally shoes had its right sole came off for no apparent reason (thank god I had my Hush Puppies sandals in Sasa’s car, if not, embarrassment could’ve been worse) was that the Tok Kadi’s refusal to use the microphone when the actual akad nikah was uttered. They didn’t mind using the PA system to recite the unfathomable pantuns and explaining the responsibilities of both the husband and wife. But I guess, it did somehow turned out for the better because before I knew it, it was over. If not, then I would have ended up crying. No, wait, that was Sasa. She was the one almost crying. Right.
Anyway, after the akad nikah was over, and Aritha was officially denounced as a single lady, we took a breather back to our hotel at Bukit Bendera Resort for an hour or so. Yes, people, there’s a resort in Mentakab. Don’t ask me how or when, it’s just there. Deal with it. I, for one, am glad that such a place even exists. It made the one night stay a more worthwhile affair. Zalina and Sasa had trouble with the bathroom though. They say it smells funny. I on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered. I don’t know if it’s because they have so gotten used to Jes’ place at Westin or that I’m a guy and have seen and been through worse.
Anyway, the majlis berinai is one peculiar event. This may sound foolish but before this I never even heard of such a thing. From what it sounds, it could only imagine that it involves inai on the bride’s hands and I couldn’t guess what goes on beyond that. But from what Sasa had told me, it is a picture-taking opportunity for the close families and friends of the wedding couple. They would put on nice dresses and if you fancy it, then go up there with the celebrated couple. I couldn’t quite grasp the concept yet at the time of explanation but as the night went on, then I finally get it. To me, it’s like a sneak peek of a movie. A midnight show before the big proper release. It was quite the same here. The dresses is purposely made for that night alone and they would sit on the pelamin to give a taste of what the actual bersanding would look and feel like. In essence, it’s just another reason to party. And I do mean party, for some of the guests. They plugged in a karaoke machine to the sound system and all AF wanna-be came out horns blazing that night. Suffice to say, my ears didn’t enjoy a great night. But, as for the bride and groom, they look magnificent. Dressed in a combination of white and lilac, honestly, I think they look better in them than what they would actually wear on Sunday. This one is more modern and chic. Sunday’s attire was more traditional but hey, I grew up watching Friends, so sue me.
But, one thing though, damn do they take an awfully long time to get ready. The newlyweds, I mean. Especially the bride. She must have gone though hours of make-up. We, the friends, already arrived fashionably late as always, about a quarter past 9. And they only came out about a little past 10. That’s almost an hour of karaoke torture. Please, would someone destroy that annoying machine?
But when they did come out, I think you could say it was worth the wait. I have never quite remembered Aritha looking as beautiful as she did that night. It was proof alone how Farris (the groom) could have fallen for her. What can I say? Lucky man.
Oh wait, before I move on, I just want to mention that how much I couldn’t believe that Aritha’s mother and eldest sister could recognize and know my name. For the past 5 years or so, I could say that I have personally met them only once or twice. Maybe thrice. But, man, to remember me the moment I stepped onto the courtyard earlier that afternoon? That was so unnerving. I know I couldn’t have made such an impression on those brief moments of acquaintances. It is kind of unsettling to hold out your hand and for them to say, ‘Faizad, kan?’ Throughout the two-day event I feel that at any given time moment I would burst out and unwittingly confess, ‘Ma’am, nothing happened at The Ascott. I didn’t touch your daughter/sister. I wanted to…but… no,’ Thankfully, such a scene didn’t take place. Hopefully never.
And the other thing, earlier during the akad nikah, while Sasa and Kak Nieta were drooling over one of Farris’ best men who I could swore I chilled with during my last trip to Langkawi on Chenang beach (though I have yet to confirm that with Cipoi, for whom was with me at the time), I had my eye on one of the ladies. Initially I had given up hope of finding a fun subject (i.e. a fancy lady) among the crowd after a brief glance around. More makcik-makcik than adik-adik manis around here. But there was this one girl who was such a looker. She virtually stood out from all of them. But one problem though. She always seems to be carrying this child around and even though there was no man in sight throughout the time that would suggest a boyfriend/fiancé/husband, she does sport a golden band around her finger that looks pretty much like a wedding ring. Is she single? Coming alone while leaving her man behind? Divorced? Single mother? What? The thought confounded and tormented me endlessly. But that still didn’t stop us from having our glances crossed more than a couple of times. From that moment at the surau ‘til the kenduri ended this afternoon. It may not be flirtatious in nature but I can safely say we did notice each other. It was not on the drive back home that I learnt from Sasa that the lady in question is actually Farris’ younger sister (!!!!!!!!!!!) What the f**k!? Are You F*****g Me!!? No wonder I missed the exit to the Lebuhraya Pantai Timur from Lanchang. I was cajoling with Aritha’s sister-in-law. Man, this is getting embarrassing. But when I questioned her availability to Sasa, she said she doesn’t know either. I mean, no big surprise there. Who would know, in fact? Apart from Farris himself. But, now that I think about it, I mean, she is Aritha’s sister-in-law, right? It’s a no-brainer, right? I could just ask Aritha about her, right? That is, after she’s done with this small matter of her wedding, of course. She still has to go to Kelantan for another round at the groom’s place, y’know. I’ll take a rain check on that.
Now, where were we? Ah yes, the majlis berinai. It was wonderful. I was getting sleepy but still wonderful. And oh yes, there’s Farris’ sister looking at me again….with a child in her hands. That’s nice. The event ended a little over 12. Maybe even later, but that was the time when we left. The couple was in the bilik pengantin doing I don’t know what and Sasa was beginning to make a lot of noises about wanting to go to bed. Yeah, right. One phone call from ‘B’ and she was ready to chat the whole night. Oh the things I have to pay having to share a room with a woman intoxically in love. And how surprisingly, Kak Nieta turned out to be the more tolerable roommate. He was out like a lamp. That is, right after we went horsing around the concept of harassing room 120 (the room allegedly where Farris’ friends were staying in). For me, well, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore posed a much better prospect. I was petting my walrus this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How can that not be funny?
Then came the morning of July 1st. The big day has dawned. And it started in not the best of ways. First I thought of getting a dip in the pool bright and early but then I found out it was closed due to renovation works. Plus the water reeks of green algae. Then the so-called buffet breakfast was horrible. Slightly better than the one I had during the trip to Melaka with Tomok, Nebu and Lantoi. Better, but still not even coming close to satisfactory. So I drove Dean along with Nieta and Sasa to Mentakab town and decided on an eatery named Saodah Dollah. For the simple reason of the establishment’s name. Both were so taken off with the name that they actually took pictures of the place with their cam phones. I was just looking forward to the food. For me, here was a perfect opportunity to try out some little town style breakfast. Where the preparation is more towards the flavor of the food rather than commercialization reasons. And when I took that first bite of their nasi lemak, I thought, well, that was dissapointing. It was as unspectacular as I hoped it wasn’t to be. In fact, I had better back at the city. At least the price here was delightfully enjoyable. RM3.50 for a teh tarik and a small plate of nasi lemak sotong. Try to get that in KL. You’re lucky to get nasi lemak at all.
By the time we got back to our hotel, Irwan just arrived with his entourage of Jes and Sarah. Irwan drove his mother to KL the night before and Zal tagged along because she couldn’t attend Sunday’s event due to work. Coming back here, to Mentakab, Irwan picked up Jes (who had to work on Saturday) and Sarah (who decided just to come on Sunday). So there we were. All of them looking all nice and dandy, while I was standing in my shorts next to Nieta who has yet to take a morning bath. Yes, we were the perfect choice for model citizens.
Jes being Jes, would let you know in no uncertain terms how displeased she is when the tardiness of other people (i.e Nieta) is affecting and/or delaying her personal schedule. And, oh you know how long girls take to get ready especially as big as something as the wedding of one of your closest friends. Everything has to be perfect. Fortunately, for guys, perfection only requires 10 minutes or so. Isn’t it funny how I always turn out to be the innocent bystander in every case?
We finally managed to check-out at exactly around noon, funny considering how punctual we turned out to be in the end. And Tomok was busy calling me every 5 minutes to know when I’d be coming to Aritha’s place since he was getting restless without decent mate to talk to.
Upon arrival, we went straight to the bilik pengantin to find the bride who had just completed her make-over sitting on the side of her very pink bed. As with every bride, and much so in this case, she was a sight to behold. Again, words fail me but I’ll try to include some pictures here when Irwan puts them up online. He was the one with the camera. But if I had to put into words of the ethereal figure that has presented itself before me is then it is this - the mere sight of her beauty will never age for me, nor fade, nor die. Come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy, that one short minute gives me in her sight. But, well, that’s just me.
Pictures were taken inside the quarters and while most of the group went out to enjoy lunch, I opted to stay. One reason being the delectable air-conditioning the room has and the other, being the reason that I feel it is important for me just to be there with Aritha before the final moments of her unveiling to the waiting crowd gathered outside on this grandiose day of her wedding. Sure, she has Sasa as her pengapit but, damn it, I just want to be there. Ridhu may not believe this but my appetite can wait. This was a once in a lifetime event. In that instance, everything else was trivial.
Minutes before the actual unveiling, I went out for a head start. And being close friends of the bride, and the recognition of the bride’s eldest sister, we got the orders to ‘linger about’ when the groom’s rombongan arrives. Appearing more important than we actually are. But, of course, no harm can be done there. Besides, I could see Farris’ sister again. Oh there she’s returning my look. Yep, and there’s the child again. I couldn’t be sure if it’s the same one from the night before. Oh well, that story can wait.
As for the bride and groom, they went up to the pelamin, while I stayed back of the crowd with Acai and Tomok, as it was getting rather crammed up front. Everyone wanted to see the newly weds, y’see. While the proceedings went on from the silat to the zapin to the dining for the bride and groom, I made my around the compound. Staying here and there, dabbing sweats off my forehead. I think being close of friends of either one of the married couple can be the best jobs at a wedding. You don’t have to do any work because you are sort of guests of the family and you’re not obliged to mingle with everyone because you’re not exactly family either. So most of the time you just sit around, have unrestricted supply to drinks and only have to meet people that you want to meet. Like the groom’s sister. Which I didn’t. Sasob.
As time went by and the crowd faded away, again pictures were taken, glances exchanged between bride’s close friend and groom’s sister, cam phones secretly snapping away at the groom’s childhood buddies, it was nearly time to call it a day for the bride’s friends from the city. They have certainly watched the becoming of one of their closest members. Sure we shall be seeing her again soon but make no mistake, an important day this was and one should not be easily forgotten. I, for one, am truly honoured to be there on such a momentous occasion. Though I cannot say the same thing for Apau. However, in the end, there’s just one thing left to say:
To Farris and Aritha,
Selamat Pengantin Baru.
With that, a story about my trip to Penang now seems rather insignificant. I mean, seriously, there was nothing much worth mentioning. Maybe if I have the energy to write something about it, I will. But, oh wait, one more little story before we sign off.
On the way back from Mentakab, we all stopped by at Genting Sempah for refreshments at McDonalds. The lines at the counter were long and to save time, Dayana Rosti who was queuing in front of me suggested to place an order together. So we did and she paid first. Then we all sat down, talking, having a good laugh, buat macam rumah sendiri, when at the end of it, before we move to our separate cars and head our own ways, I offered to pay for the meal that Dayana had paid for earlier. Imagine my surprise when she said, ‘No, it’s okay. Kau still tgh study, kan?’ Yeah, I think I did mention about doing my MBA at UIA at the time being while chatting to her during the queue. But get this. Dayana Rosti just paid a McDonalds meal for me. The daughter of the former rector of UTP and current VP of Education at Petronas just paid for my McDonalds meal. Now I feel guilty for all the terrible names I called her during our university days. If I could’ve turn back time bearing this latest revelation that I have now to back then, I would have…….still call her those names because it was so much fun doing so those days! Man, what a horrible person I am. But, honestly, the paying for was indeed a nice gesture. I mean, it’s not that I have paid for any of her meals before. She has started rolling the wheel first. One day I might have to return the gesture. Shit, I am so getting the butt of jokes with that statement. Soon speculation will rise on whether I’d be hitting on her. This is how rumours start. And blogging about it doesn’t exactly help in diminishing those, does it?
Anyway, the Mentakab trip was fabulous and I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life – for a variety of reasons. But things are not over yet for me. My brother’s getting married this coming weekend and Project Folklore is yet to be completed. It’s a task my brother handed to me to record wishes and speeches from close families and friends commenting on the impending wedding. The deadline is Tuesday night because that’s when we’ll hand the collected recordings to the editor. Most is done so far. Just two more friends, our parents, my sister and myself. I’ve been thinking about this for the past two weeks and I still don’t know what to say. I’m the groom’s brother, for crying out loud. What I say will carry much weight. I’m the next in line. If he’s William, then I’m Harry. That was good, wasn’t it? Yeah, I’ve thought of putting that in. A little touch of humour, don’t you think? But whatever it is, I have to come up with something quickly. What’s worse, my MBA classes start tomorrow. Actually later today considering it’s already 1 am. And it’s going to be 6.30 – 10 pm every night from Monday to Thursday. Little tight on time? Tell me about it.
Anyway, time to sign off. Thank you for reading. I might as well hit the sack. It’s going to be a busy week, especially in the next 48 hours. Well, again, congratulations to Farris and Aritha. Good night to all. Wait a second, I wonder what Aritha’s doing right now….
*pictures courtesy of Irwan
Friday, June 22, 2007
Reminder
Dear ingenious master,
I think the time has come for me to have complete make-over. I have been stuck with this look since 2004 and honestly, it's getting old. So if you would take some time off your lazy ass and find me a new skin, to say the least, it'd be most appreciated. thank you for your kind attention.
Sincerely,
Your Blog
I think the time has come for me to have complete make-over. I have been stuck with this look since 2004 and honestly, it's getting old. So if you would take some time off your lazy ass and find me a new skin, to say the least, it'd be most appreciated. thank you for your kind attention.
Sincerely,
Your Blog
Last Days of June
First I was happy. Then I was sad. Then angry. Now, I’m happy again. Although not as much as the first time. I need help, don’t I?Now, how are we this evening? Oh sorry, it’s already night time here. Not that it’s important but anyway, I’m off to Penang this Sunday. Yeaay. That’s the reason I was happy. Then I almost couldn’t make it because of my MBA registration day and that made it me sad. And pissed off. It was supposed to be on Saturday then they told me to come Monday, like yeah, I’m supposed to be frolicking on Ferringhi beach from Sunday ‘til Tuesday, so, yes, that does pose a problem for me. Then my persuasive mother told me to give them a call and ask for an alternative date. Now why didn’t I think of that earlier? Seriously, somehow that gene didn’t get passed down to me. Anyway, a quick call and voila, back to Saturday again. Actually they do have registration day on Saturday. It’s just that it was meant for part-time students. Full-timers were allocated for Monday. Well, sorry for the trouble, mate. White sandy beaches don’t come along too often, y’know.
So, a little rendezvous at UIA on Saturday, then on Sunday, hello blondies on the beach! (sigh) Oh how I miss Langkawi. But I guess Penang will do. And after that, a few days catching my breath at home and ba da boom, off to Mentakab for the biggest wedding of the year. Well, the second biggest wedding of the year, after my brother that is. In my view, of course. Not literally. I mean, how can you top the PM? Well, even that wasn’t a big occasion. Just an akad nikah at the mosque and, well, you get the point.
Anyway, exciting times lies ahead. Tourists sunbathing on the beach, bridesmaids at Mentakab, I mean, it gives me the tingles just thinking about it. Legendary.
In other news, Baby Jane is at the bengkel, yet again. Can you believe the ECU got soaked? And you know how much an replacement E36 ECU cost? Second hand? About 9/10th of what I made monthly if I still worked at Deloitte. For a circuitry board no larger that my two palms put together, that’s really bonkers. And we haven’t begun to discuss the amount required to get my fuel gauge to work. It seems the floatation device in the fuel tank is screwed so to get not one, but two of those contraptions, because that’s how BMW fuel tanks are designed, replace will cost another RM900. Hello Darfur! I can’t believe how much these things cost. And this is a 1994 production car. I wouldn’t dare imagine the parts for an E90. Maybe RM300 for a single light bulb change.
Wait, this is too much negative energy going around. I need to change tones.
Well, the 7 Collar Sonique Cinematique
went well. RM37 for a 3 hour show. I must say that’s money well spent. And I really like one of the opening acts – a group called Estrella. They have a really hot lead singer and she has a beautiful voice to boot as well. She reminds me of Norah Jones with lyrics like Corrine Bailey Rae. I was captivated, is all I can tell you. As for 7 Collar themselves, they were good as expected. But I do wish they’d do more songs with the violins and cellos. They were only up until the interval. After that, it was like a normal show. I’m sorry but after the break, there was no more sonique cinematique. And the co-ordination were below par. The show started an hour late. The mid-way interval took a half-hour from the promised 15 minutes. Even in between songs there were scenes of havoc to prepare for the next performance even though it was in the dark. But, hey, I’ll give them a chance. They are an independent band anyway. Not actually theater people. And when it comes to the actual performance, it was truly enjoyable. The packaging could’ve been better but the actual gift was top notch. Literally.
Now let’s talk about movies. I would’ve liked to write this on my Friendster account but they only permit 1000 characters per review. Characters! Those numbskulls. I had to cut my Spidey 3 review to half. And ditch all those Topher Grace jokes. Certainly not exactly a thought out idea. Anyway, the most interesting movie I saw recently, and it happened by accident, was on Star Movies and it’s called My Date With Drew. It’s about a regular real life guy who embarks on a project with the help of his mates, to get himself a date with Drew Barrymore in 30 days. Why 30 days? Because that’s when he had to return the video camera that he bought to be eligible for the 30 day return policy. Will he get a date with Drew in the end? Well, that’s the fun part isn’t it? It’s funny, light-hearted, documentary-style at its best. Unfortunately though, I browse through Astro just now and it was a one time screening. They day that I caught it. That’s a shame. It’s a unique movie and I really hoped to share with you guys. Probably next month then. Whenever it is, keep your eyes out for it. It’s worth it. It sure as hell made my day. It made me even thinking about starting my own little project. Something to look forward to on a day to day basis. Keeps life interesting. Maybe not as elaborate as to get a date with a movie star. I’m not as obsessive at the Drew guy. Maybe I’ll write that book I’ve been so longing about. Yeah, I know, snore. But you just wait. One day I’m gonna make money by just sitting on my ass through royalty. The geek who wrote a classic. Watch out MPH! Here I come!
Another movie I’d like to mention here is MatchPoint. It’s a 2005 production but I just saw it a few weeks ago and by god it’s brilliant. I admit the only reason I wanted to see it at first is because Scarlett Johansson is on it. But as I was left catching my breath as the end credits roll, I thought to myself, that was the best Woody Allen movie I ever saw. It’s a masterpiece actually. It’s your classic love triangle story but goodness me, what a way to tell a story. And I thought Closer was good. This one just blew it away. Maybe one day it’ll come out on Astro, I don’t know, but the next time you’re out buying yourself some DVDs for the weekend, find this title, and you will not be sorry.
Wow, look as that, a clean version. Not bad, eh? I learnt it from Jennifer Morrison. What a vixen. You know, the kinds that pulls Santa’s sleigh. That one I got from Jason Lee. I got a fresh TV schedule nowadays since Heroes and Grey’s Anatomy are in between seasons. I watch Ellen now. And I’m not embarrassed to admit because she’s really funny. She’s one of those people who you just want to hear her talk because it makes you laugh. And most importantly, it’s not as sad as Oprah. But Oprah did have Terry Benedict. Well, at least Ellen conforms to the younger generation. Yep, nothing wrong with me. Just your normal testosterone driven male living in the 21st century who happens to watch daytime TV. Damn I’m gonna miss Ellen once I start work.
That’s it people, I’m signing off. Hopefully Baby Jane would be ready by tomorrow. How do you say goodbye in German?
Another movie I’d like to mention here is MatchPoint. It’s a 2005 production but I just saw it a few weeks ago and by god it’s brilliant. I admit the only reason I wanted to see it at first is because Scarlett Johansson is on it. But as I was left catching my breath as the end credits roll, I thought to myself, that was the best Woody Allen movie I ever saw. It’s a masterpiece actually. It’s your classic love triangle story but goodness me, what a way to tell a story. And I thought Closer was good. This one just blew it away. Maybe one day it’ll come out on Astro, I don’t know, but the next time you’re out buying yourself some DVDs for the weekend, find this title, and you will not be sorry.
Wow, look as that, a clean version. Not bad, eh? I learnt it from Jennifer Morrison. What a vixen. You know, the kinds that pulls Santa’s sleigh. That one I got from Jason Lee. I got a fresh TV schedule nowadays since Heroes and Grey’s Anatomy are in between seasons. I watch Ellen now. And I’m not embarrassed to admit because she’s really funny. She’s one of those people who you just want to hear her talk because it makes you laugh. And most importantly, it’s not as sad as Oprah. But Oprah did have Terry Benedict. Well, at least Ellen conforms to the younger generation. Yep, nothing wrong with me. Just your normal testosterone driven male living in the 21st century who happens to watch daytime TV. Damn I’m gonna miss Ellen once I start work.
That’s it people, I’m signing off. Hopefully Baby Jane would be ready by tomorrow. How do you say goodbye in German?
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Baby Jane
She’s gone. They finally took her away. She really needed some help. Baby Jane was not acting her usual self lately. She was fine during our day trip to Tronoh. Then suddenly the next day she refused to start. It had happened before but she somehow let up previously. Not this time though. This time it lasted for a week. And it’s really frustrating. What am I talking about? Well, it’s my Beemer, of course! It’s what I’ve decided to call her – Baby Jane. Instead of breastfeeding, she finds homage at petrol stations and while she goes about on all fours, she can do 100 km\h without a hitch. Until now that is. One morning she just refuses to start. It’s not like when the battery runs flat and there are no response from the car when you turn the ignition. In this case there is the effort of trying to ignite but the engine just wouldn’t engage. Thank goodness it happened while parked at home. Still, to get her fixed, a tow truck service is required. And after much delayed, they finally picked her up. If I am lucky she’d be okay by tomorrow. Worst case scenario would be next Monday. In the meantime, it’s going to be the Pajero for me. (sigh) Not that it’s bad or anything but the acceleration can be embarrassing sometimes. What’s more the stereo sucks. Haha y’see, now I can diss the stereo on the Pajero because now, Baby Jane has her own stereo. It’s Kenwood and it’s good. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Anyway, it comes with a remote and a USB port. Meaning I can take the thumbdrive that it came with, save a few hundred songs on it, plug it into the stereo and voila, goodbye homemade CDs. I owe Cipoi for helping me picking it out. As a matter of fact I owe him RM70 for it ‘cause I hadn’t enough cash on me that day. And considering that I picked the most decent choice. And I tell you, the slightly higher end stuff really looked tempting. But I wasn’t gonna burn a bigger hole in my pocket. It’s bad as it is. One more thing about the USB port on the Kenwood is that, well, I gotta a little story here. One time I was heading off to the studio and, oh, more about the studio later on, and I was in a hurry. So, there I was about to leave and I realized the battery of my handphone was dying. No time to charge it and I have yet to get that damn car charger kit. So I took along this cable that I use to connect my phone to my computer, to download pictures, videos and music to my K1 phone. Since the cable connects through the USB port, I thought, it should work as a makeshift car charger. And I was right. But more so, the moment I connected it both, the display on the stereo read ‘Reading’. And I couldn’t believe it because that what happens every time I insert my thumbdrive. Before I knew it, the stereo began playing the songs on my phone. I just sat there bewildered and excited. My phone and car stereo were talking to each other. God bless technology! Guess I wouldn’t need that car charger kit after all.
Oh yes, the studio. Well, it looks much better now. It has air conditioning, lights and backdrops for photo-shoots. And a proper living room with an oversize sofa and a TV with Astro hooked-up. And I’m the accountant of the place. Not really a full-fledged one. There’s just a book which I wrote down the expenses incurred for the betterment of the studio. And it hasn’t been updated for more than a week haha! Well, as if I’m getting paid for it. Still, it’s something to do. And, unlike any other accountants, this one models as well. It’s free. One of the perks, they say. But beside the point, if you’re interested of offering yourself for a photo shoot, you can always drop by. Or give me a call and I’ll take you there. You can just fool around with the camera or get a fully laminated picture of yourself. Your choice. And these guys can do it. They’re pretty good. It’s at Taman Pinggiran Ukay, just to remind you.
Erm, what else? Oh yes, next month I’ll be starting my MBA programme at UIA. Who would’ve thought, eh? Looks like this student life of mine is far from over. And I’m still doing my ACCA. Geez, what a geek I’m turning out to be. Watai even called me ‘pencinta ilmu’. And, damn it, I couldn’t refute the point much. Well, at least I’m driving a BMW. On paper I look really good don’t I? Single man of 25, currently pursuing ACCA and MBA. Drives a BMW. And works as a part-time model. Surely, a candidate for one of the most eligible bachelors around.
Oh before I forget, 7 Collar T-shirt is doing a show at TAC Bangsar this June 13th, if I’m not mistaken. They’re a Malaysian band doing something like MTV Unplugged. They’re good so come along. Support our local music scene. Better this than your Samsons and Nidjis. I’m promoting this because guess who are the people handling the promotional photo shoot? That’s right.
So, without further adieu, Chelsea has won the FA Cup and with so much noise coming from their corner during the last few weeks of the season, the matter of the fact is, Liverpool finished the season trophy-less… again.
Regina and Kabi got married and although I would pretty much describe the weirdness of it all, I believe the institution of marriage should not be trifled with. Even though you know each of both’s bad habits. So, congratulations to them and I look forward to seeing to many little Kaginas.
Not forgetting to our first ever first lady with a French name. Congratulations too.
For all, adieu and bon soi.
Oh yes, the studio. Well, it looks much better now. It has air conditioning, lights and backdrops for photo-shoots. And a proper living room with an oversize sofa and a TV with Astro hooked-up. And I’m the accountant of the place. Not really a full-fledged one. There’s just a book which I wrote down the expenses incurred for the betterment of the studio. And it hasn’t been updated for more than a week haha! Well, as if I’m getting paid for it. Still, it’s something to do. And, unlike any other accountants, this one models as well. It’s free. One of the perks, they say. But beside the point, if you’re interested of offering yourself for a photo shoot, you can always drop by. Or give me a call and I’ll take you there. You can just fool around with the camera or get a fully laminated picture of yourself. Your choice. And these guys can do it. They’re pretty good. It’s at Taman Pinggiran Ukay, just to remind you.
Erm, what else? Oh yes, next month I’ll be starting my MBA programme at UIA. Who would’ve thought, eh? Looks like this student life of mine is far from over. And I’m still doing my ACCA. Geez, what a geek I’m turning out to be. Watai even called me ‘pencinta ilmu’. And, damn it, I couldn’t refute the point much. Well, at least I’m driving a BMW. On paper I look really good don’t I? Single man of 25, currently pursuing ACCA and MBA. Drives a BMW. And works as a part-time model. Surely, a candidate for one of the most eligible bachelors around.
Oh before I forget, 7 Collar T-shirt is doing a show at TAC Bangsar this June 13th, if I’m not mistaken. They’re a Malaysian band doing something like MTV Unplugged. They’re good so come along. Support our local music scene. Better this than your Samsons and Nidjis. I’m promoting this because guess who are the people handling the promotional photo shoot? That’s right.
So, without further adieu, Chelsea has won the FA Cup and with so much noise coming from their corner during the last few weeks of the season, the matter of the fact is, Liverpool finished the season trophy-less… again.
Regina and Kabi got married and although I would pretty much describe the weirdness of it all, I believe the institution of marriage should not be trifled with. Even though you know each of both’s bad habits. So, congratulations to them and I look forward to seeing to many little Kaginas.
Not forgetting to our first ever first lady with a French name. Congratulations too.
For all, adieu and bon soi.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Striptease
As a Chelsea fan, the last 7 days has been very shitty. Ousted from the Champions League and losing the Premiership title, both in acrimonious fashion, has been a very bitter pill to swallow. And it has not been helped by the extremely biased reports from the sports section of The Star and NST respectively, exceedingly glorifying Liverpool and Man Utd that they might as well print them on red paper. It makes me sick just thinking about it. It’s like high school all over again. Thankfully, over the years, I have managed to rid myself from some very distasteful so-called Man Utd fans who know twat about football and yet claim to be die-hard fans as if they were actually born in Manchester. Fuckin’ wankers.
Well, anyway, Spidey 3 sucked. I’ll post my review of it on Friendster. Nifty little thing that review section. I have probably written a dozen of ‘em already. It’s a nice little space where I can lambast all the movies which I deemed not have been worth my time or money. The most recent example being Ghost Rider. And I can’t believe Spidey 3 followed suit. But more of that on Friendster.
What was I going to talk about just now? Oh right, striptease. Striptease is such a beautiful concept, don’t you think? It’s the ultimate turn on. I don’t know a single guy who would turn down such a thing. Well, some prefer the art of role-playing, but hey, whatever works for you.
I’m bringing this topic up because I have been exposed to a few decent versions of it for the past week or so. For starters, remember that naughty website that I mentioned. Yeah, well, I’ve managed to persuade 2 of the girls, on separate occasions, to do a lap dance for me – for free! Haha it was so much fun. One of them actually did it topless. What a dupe. They were terrible dancers, of course, but I attribute that to the lack of proper background music to spur them on, but more on that later.
And then, I went to this night spot called Sugar last Saturday, located at Crowne Plaza, and there was this band that was making its debut on that very night and they were awful. They totally fouled up Starlight but it was understandable because copying Muse can be very tricky but still foolish of them to even try if they know they’re not up to it. However, when they managed to do even worse for Smack That, that was it. I mean, hard rock and electronica with classical and prog rock elements is one thing, but how the hell can you mess up hip-hop? Hip-hop is not even singing. It’s just talking in rhymes. How difficult is that? They made me wish I was listening back to Akon. And that is a terrible wish. But then, they threw a surprise at everyone when they unleashed their secret weapon.
The band consists of two lead female singers. One of them is hot while the other is not. Up until then, the less hot one was monopolizing the mike and leading the band (quite badly, if I might add) while the hot one was resigned to do back-up singing. Now, they’ve exchanged places and their next song of choice was Inul Daratista’s Kocok-Kocok. And my life after that, ladies and gentlemen, would never be the same again.
The song Kocok-Kocok itself is not alien to me. I first heard it when Kak Nieta performed it during one of our karaoke night-outs. Just like any dangdut songs (and Inul’s for that matter) the lyrics were provocative and lingers around the suggestion of sex. But of course, with Inul, it is meant for mass distribution, meaning there’s a limit on how dirty you want the song to sound like. But at a nightclub, well, you’re not bound to such a rule and this band, Take 5, was free to take it to the next level much to the delight of the male audience (including me who was jumping joyously barely 2 metres away from hot female lead).
For one thing, she has a much more refined ass than Inul so when she does the famed gelek, it resembles more to Shakira’s rather than the Indonesian provocateur. And the sight of her skimpy skirt, flapping at her butt cheek every time she does it just adds to the gratification. But the real pleasure was every time she sang the words ‘kocok-kocok’. According to the lyrics, it was meant to refer to the emotions of love but this chick suggested a different meaning when she made a hand pumping gesture towards her hips as if to indicate she was thrusting a dildo into her crotch. With a pitched voice to match, it just blew the crowd’s mind away.
Then she reaches the line ‘baru keluar ah…’, and, my goodness, her expression of an orgasm even topped that of Meg Ryan’s version from When Harry Met Sally. If I remember correctly, I think, for a brief moment, I lost my mind a bit back then. And as the song came close to the end, she gave a final blow, very slow and very sexy ‘kocok-kocok’, to a resounding applause from the crowd. With that show, I could only imagine what a lap dance or a striptease would actually feel like. Man, I have to visit Amsterdam one day.
You know, it is such a pity there are no strip clubs here. They would be such a cool place to hang out. A couple of drinks, a few laughs, a naked woman dancing around a pole, it’d be perfect. But we don’t live in an ideal world so I don’t think strip clubs would be making its way here anytime soon. But all hope is not lost. If you’re lucky enough, and have the guts to ask for it, you can have your girlfriend to do it for you. It won’t be easy though. Few girlfriends would agree to such a thing and even fewer who would do a good job at it. Which is why, a good background music is key to a good striptease because it would help her settle into the mood. With a little help from AskMen.com, I have managed to compile a collection of 10 songs to do just that.
Some of the songs are already quite popular so you wouldn’t have much trouble finding them. For instance, Britney Spears’ I’m A Slave 4 U. Another one is Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons. Also in the mix is Nelly’s Hot In Here though I can’t put the picture of Jimmy Fallon out of my head so it might be a turn off for me. Some lesser known songs would include Madonna’s Justify My Love and my ultimate favorite, Lovage’s Sex (I’m a). That song is full of moans that you can’t help but wanting to be making some of your own with the missus at the end of it.
All of these songs just don’t have the beats but also the naughty lyrics to go with it. From Britney there’s ‘I cannot hold it, I cannot control it,’. From the Dolls, it’s, ‘And the heat comin’ from this beat, I’m about to blow’. While Lovage talks about virgins, one night stands and making love together. I’d say those are perfect anecdotes.
So the next time you find yourself out of ideas of things to do with your girl, pull the shades, dim the lights, bass up the stereo, sit back and enjoy the show.
With that bombshell it’s goodbye for now and good luck. Cheers.
Well, anyway, Spidey 3 sucked. I’ll post my review of it on Friendster. Nifty little thing that review section. I have probably written a dozen of ‘em already. It’s a nice little space where I can lambast all the movies which I deemed not have been worth my time or money. The most recent example being Ghost Rider. And I can’t believe Spidey 3 followed suit. But more of that on Friendster.
What was I going to talk about just now? Oh right, striptease. Striptease is such a beautiful concept, don’t you think? It’s the ultimate turn on. I don’t know a single guy who would turn down such a thing. Well, some prefer the art of role-playing, but hey, whatever works for you.
I’m bringing this topic up because I have been exposed to a few decent versions of it for the past week or so. For starters, remember that naughty website that I mentioned. Yeah, well, I’ve managed to persuade 2 of the girls, on separate occasions, to do a lap dance for me – for free! Haha it was so much fun. One of them actually did it topless. What a dupe. They were terrible dancers, of course, but I attribute that to the lack of proper background music to spur them on, but more on that later.
And then, I went to this night spot called Sugar last Saturday, located at Crowne Plaza, and there was this band that was making its debut on that very night and they were awful. They totally fouled up Starlight but it was understandable because copying Muse can be very tricky but still foolish of them to even try if they know they’re not up to it. However, when they managed to do even worse for Smack That, that was it. I mean, hard rock and electronica with classical and prog rock elements is one thing, but how the hell can you mess up hip-hop? Hip-hop is not even singing. It’s just talking in rhymes. How difficult is that? They made me wish I was listening back to Akon. And that is a terrible wish. But then, they threw a surprise at everyone when they unleashed their secret weapon.
The band consists of two lead female singers. One of them is hot while the other is not. Up until then, the less hot one was monopolizing the mike and leading the band (quite badly, if I might add) while the hot one was resigned to do back-up singing. Now, they’ve exchanged places and their next song of choice was Inul Daratista’s Kocok-Kocok. And my life after that, ladies and gentlemen, would never be the same again.
The song Kocok-Kocok itself is not alien to me. I first heard it when Kak Nieta performed it during one of our karaoke night-outs. Just like any dangdut songs (and Inul’s for that matter) the lyrics were provocative and lingers around the suggestion of sex. But of course, with Inul, it is meant for mass distribution, meaning there’s a limit on how dirty you want the song to sound like. But at a nightclub, well, you’re not bound to such a rule and this band, Take 5, was free to take it to the next level much to the delight of the male audience (including me who was jumping joyously barely 2 metres away from hot female lead).
For one thing, she has a much more refined ass than Inul so when she does the famed gelek, it resembles more to Shakira’s rather than the Indonesian provocateur. And the sight of her skimpy skirt, flapping at her butt cheek every time she does it just adds to the gratification. But the real pleasure was every time she sang the words ‘kocok-kocok’. According to the lyrics, it was meant to refer to the emotions of love but this chick suggested a different meaning when she made a hand pumping gesture towards her hips as if to indicate she was thrusting a dildo into her crotch. With a pitched voice to match, it just blew the crowd’s mind away.
Then she reaches the line ‘baru keluar ah…’, and, my goodness, her expression of an orgasm even topped that of Meg Ryan’s version from When Harry Met Sally. If I remember correctly, I think, for a brief moment, I lost my mind a bit back then. And as the song came close to the end, she gave a final blow, very slow and very sexy ‘kocok-kocok’, to a resounding applause from the crowd. With that show, I could only imagine what a lap dance or a striptease would actually feel like. Man, I have to visit Amsterdam one day.
You know, it is such a pity there are no strip clubs here. They would be such a cool place to hang out. A couple of drinks, a few laughs, a naked woman dancing around a pole, it’d be perfect. But we don’t live in an ideal world so I don’t think strip clubs would be making its way here anytime soon. But all hope is not lost. If you’re lucky enough, and have the guts to ask for it, you can have your girlfriend to do it for you. It won’t be easy though. Few girlfriends would agree to such a thing and even fewer who would do a good job at it. Which is why, a good background music is key to a good striptease because it would help her settle into the mood. With a little help from AskMen.com, I have managed to compile a collection of 10 songs to do just that.
Some of the songs are already quite popular so you wouldn’t have much trouble finding them. For instance, Britney Spears’ I’m A Slave 4 U. Another one is Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons. Also in the mix is Nelly’s Hot In Here though I can’t put the picture of Jimmy Fallon out of my head so it might be a turn off for me. Some lesser known songs would include Madonna’s Justify My Love and my ultimate favorite, Lovage’s Sex (I’m a). That song is full of moans that you can’t help but wanting to be making some of your own with the missus at the end of it.
All of these songs just don’t have the beats but also the naughty lyrics to go with it. From Britney there’s ‘I cannot hold it, I cannot control it,’. From the Dolls, it’s, ‘And the heat comin’ from this beat, I’m about to blow’. While Lovage talks about virgins, one night stands and making love together. I’d say those are perfect anecdotes.
So the next time you find yourself out of ideas of things to do with your girl, pull the shades, dim the lights, bass up the stereo, sit back and enjoy the show.
With that bombshell it’s goodbye for now and good luck. Cheers.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Forgive Me, God, For I Have Sinned
Damn, how do I always get screwed by that Aritha woman? (And how do I wish to have meant that in the literal sense). She always manages to get on top of me (again…how I wish… literally).She knows something, I know something, but we wouldn't tell each other what it is. It's an endless loop.
Anyway, my attempt to relocate the blonde hair, blue eyes girl through Friendster has, needless to say, failed. It’s not that surprising anyway. The idea was to search the site for female, aged 25, located in Malaysia and has SRK Gombak 1 listed in her ‘School’ box. As you may have guessed, not many people actually bother to put down the name of their primary school on their profile. Especially people from Gombak. Hell, even I left it empty. But I did get a lot of hits of people studying at IIUM. Of course, almost all of them are shuttles. Big dis-o, even for a side entertainment. I guess the search shall be continued for another time then. Or better still, forget about her, move on and find a fresh new one. God knows I need one.
I went by the studio again today. To be on site when the people from Ikea delivers Pidot’s new bed. They said they would arrive by 5 pm. Cipoi and me waited for nearly 2 hours when they finally came at about 7. Those fuckers. Just so you know apart for some saucy magazines, there aren’t any entertainments at the studio. A TV coupled with Astro would do wonders for the place. Instead we just waited there and eventually dozed off, occasionally woken up by the continuous barking of some stupid dogs skimpering outside by the road.
As soon as Pidot’s so-called flat-packed bed components are neatly arranged by the wall of the living room, we head to NZ for some refreshments. Oh by the way, the Kinky Room already has a red carpet. I wonder how I missed that that the other day. It’s definitely kinky now.
Nothing much happened at NZ. Actually nothing happened worth mentioning. We were supposed to watch spidey at MBO Ampang but the person who floated the idea decided against it at the last minute. That’ll be my former head boy aka Macho aka Musangkas aka Chewbacca. I’d get a smack in the head if he ever finds out I call him that last name.
Anyway, I do wanna talk about credit cards. Yes, those evil little plastic cards that have lead so many to the dark side. And for the first time, I must admit I’m beginning the feel its power of attraction.
You see, I don’t have any credit cards since I’ve never actually felt that I need them. I always prefer to use cash. It makes you feel guiltier when you spend a shit of load money on a single transaction. And that I consider that to be a good thing. But now I have discovered a tiny flaw in my said principle – the Net.
I still couldn’t get my hands on Liberty Meadows Book 3: Summer of Love. It’s not that I don’t have the dough but it’s just not readily available at our local bookstores. It’s frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is to know how easily it is to purchase one through Amazon.com. But I can’t because I got no fuckin’ credit card! Not to mention some cool looking original movie posters. I surfed the other day and I found this one taken from Pulp Fiction, showing John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson, standing side by side, in their suits, pointing their guns in black and white. That would look awesome in my room. And there’s this original Rat Pack poster, also in black and white, of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and the likes. That too would look awesomely cool on my bedroom wall. But what really made me gone bonkers with this online transaction thingy is a website that was introduced to me recently by a word of mouth.
I can’t tell you the exact address of the site but I can tell you this - it’s a very, very naughty site. And what I can do, or gain, from having the ability to pay online, is to see this lady here (pic) get naked - Live!!! I mean, how fuckin' cool is that!? It's mind-blowingly awesome! Sorry, but I can't help it. I'm a man. It's biological. I think about sex every 20 seconds. And if my calculations are correct, I shouldn't be spending more than RM20 for this particular alone. And it wouldn be that bad. Just think about it. I've spent more money on petrol for 3 days worth of driving around KL. How could this even compare to some fossil fuel? Haih, temptations are so evil. And this girl? She has lot more friends from where she came from. A teasingly seductive idea. Seriously, the idea of sex is totally bewitching. Seeing naked women is one thing, but the idea of seeing her naked is another. And in this case, it's enough to make you go crazy.
Haih, that's it. Good night, people. And for those in possession of credit cards, I envy you. Cheers.
Anyway, my attempt to relocate the blonde hair, blue eyes girl through Friendster has, needless to say, failed. It’s not that surprising anyway. The idea was to search the site for female, aged 25, located in Malaysia and has SRK Gombak 1 listed in her ‘School’ box. As you may have guessed, not many people actually bother to put down the name of their primary school on their profile. Especially people from Gombak. Hell, even I left it empty. But I did get a lot of hits of people studying at IIUM. Of course, almost all of them are shuttles. Big dis-o, even for a side entertainment. I guess the search shall be continued for another time then. Or better still, forget about her, move on and find a fresh new one. God knows I need one.
I went by the studio again today. To be on site when the people from Ikea delivers Pidot’s new bed. They said they would arrive by 5 pm. Cipoi and me waited for nearly 2 hours when they finally came at about 7. Those fuckers. Just so you know apart for some saucy magazines, there aren’t any entertainments at the studio. A TV coupled with Astro would do wonders for the place. Instead we just waited there and eventually dozed off, occasionally woken up by the continuous barking of some stupid dogs skimpering outside by the road.
As soon as Pidot’s so-called flat-packed bed components are neatly arranged by the wall of the living room, we head to NZ for some refreshments. Oh by the way, the Kinky Room already has a red carpet. I wonder how I missed that that the other day. It’s definitely kinky now.
Nothing much happened at NZ. Actually nothing happened worth mentioning. We were supposed to watch spidey at MBO Ampang but the person who floated the idea decided against it at the last minute. That’ll be my former head boy aka Macho aka Musangkas aka Chewbacca. I’d get a smack in the head if he ever finds out I call him that last name.
Anyway, I do wanna talk about credit cards. Yes, those evil little plastic cards that have lead so many to the dark side. And for the first time, I must admit I’m beginning the feel its power of attraction.
You see, I don’t have any credit cards since I’ve never actually felt that I need them. I always prefer to use cash. It makes you feel guiltier when you spend a shit of load money on a single transaction. And that I consider that to be a good thing. But now I have discovered a tiny flaw in my said principle – the Net.
I still couldn’t get my hands on Liberty Meadows Book 3: Summer of Love. It’s not that I don’t have the dough but it’s just not readily available at our local bookstores. It’s frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is to know how easily it is to purchase one through Amazon.com. But I can’t because I got no fuckin’ credit card! Not to mention some cool looking original movie posters. I surfed the other day and I found this one taken from Pulp Fiction, showing John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson, standing side by side, in their suits, pointing their guns in black and white. That would look awesome in my room. And there’s this original Rat Pack poster, also in black and white, of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and the likes. That too would look awesomely cool on my bedroom wall. But what really made me gone bonkers with this online transaction thingy is a website that was introduced to me recently by a word of mouth.
I can’t tell you the exact address of the site but I can tell you this - it’s a very, very naughty site. And what I can do, or gain, from having the ability to pay online, is to see this lady here (pic) get naked - Live!!! I mean, how fuckin' cool is that!? It's mind-blowingly awesome! Sorry, but I can't help it. I'm a man. It's biological. I think about sex every 20 seconds. And if my calculations are correct, I shouldn't be spending more than RM20 for this particular alone. And it wouldn be that bad. Just think about it. I've spent more money on petrol for 3 days worth of driving around KL. How could this even compare to some fossil fuel? Haih, temptations are so evil. And this girl? She has lot more friends from where she came from. A teasingly seductive idea. Seriously, the idea of sex is totally bewitching. Seeing naked women is one thing, but the idea of seeing her naked is another. And in this case, it's enough to make you go crazy.Haih, that's it. Good night, people. And for those in possession of credit cards, I envy you. Cheers.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Sunset to Dawn, on Labour Day
None for April? Oh that is just so wrong (Jeff Anderson, Clerks II). Okay, for the simple sake of updating this blog, I’m just gonna put down something. And thank God I did something yesterday which, more or less, provided me with some points for elaboration. Even though it did end on such a down note.
I had relatives coming in droves yesterday and since someone had to send my youngest brother back to school (which was conveniently located at Kuala Selangor) it was left to me to do it because my mother who initially planned to undertake the task had to stay and play host to the unexpected gush of guests, while my elder brother, well, he’s busy preparing for his wedding this coming July. Oh didn’t I tell you? Yes, he is getting married. I mean, good for him, but not so for me. Y’see, being the second child, I’m next in line and situations aren’t ideal for a guy, who just received the most devastating news in his not-the-least love-aspiring life, to be in. as much as I’d like to share this life-changing piece if revelation but sorry, mates, we will not discuss moopy issues here. It’s a guy thing. Plus, it’ll get me into a whole set of new problems. And (back to my brother’s wedding discussion) to top it all off, he’s marrying to a MAS stewardess. Let me emphasize the word ‘MAS’ here. Not AirAsia, not FireFlyz, but MAS. Wet dreams, hello! I mean, talk about pressure for the second son. A stewardess! Now, how the fuck am I suppose to top that? Hitchin’ a stewardess could only be bettered if I were dating a model or a celebrity. Someone the likes of Natasha Hudson. But I couldn’t even make a move for a girl at a video store! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! A stewardess? You fuckin’ me? Seriously? Fuck, man! Huh, could I just say ‘fuck’, one more time, please? (Robert Downey Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).
So there, my brother’s getting married to a stewardess and I know, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself to live up to that standard, I mean, it’s all about love, right? It’s all that matters in the end. At least, that’s what people have been saying to me. Couldn’t say I totally believe in that concept. Besides, my brother’s been a ladies’ man since he was 12. I know it since we went to school together. I was 9 then and at that age I have yet to view girls as objects of affection. They were simply the opposite of boys. And boys were cool so go figure my mindset. And now, years later, occasionally I’d look back and made wishful thinking if only I had had that girl’s phone number. You probably remember I wrote something about her for a Valentine’s Day post. 2006, I think. She has blonde hair, blue eyes but she has a Malay persona. I didn’t give much thought about that back then but now, I’m guessin’ mixed parents. At 25, she would most definitely turn out to be one hell of a babe. And we had it good. We were both prefects in those days and on occasions during recess we would get assigned to hold watch in certain parts of the school and we would talk while I sat on the stairs and she played her imaginary hopscotch. It was like a scene direct out of Mukhsin. I’m just saying that even though I have yet to see the movie. I’ve managed to catch Gubra only just recently. But seriously, after 2 movies, I’m beginning to grow tired of Orked. Please, Ms Yasmin, give us something new. Anyway, that’s all I have left. A piece of memory, etched in time. Just me and… oh for fuck’s sake, I couldn’t even remember her name! What a darth prick (Rhys Ifans, Notting Hill). So much for that memory bullshit and I can’t even remember her name.
Wait, how the fuck did we get here? I wanted to talk about the studio and Carmen Electra in a bikini, and somehow I ended going down memory lane. Oh yes, that’s right, my future sister-in-law. Good luck topping that, mate. And if I should consider my ‘brilliant’ cohort’s advice (aka Watai), I should use her as a bridge to her other stewardesses friends. It’s certainly is a bright proposition but I think it’s still too early for that move just yet. I need to bond with her first before I can go say, ‘Oh since my brother has netted you, how about giving the younger brother exclusive access to your other lonely, perfectly shaped, fine-looking, high-flying stewardesses friends?’. Watch this space, people.
Fuck, I did it again. Wait, let me read what I’ve written. Oh yes, Kuala Selangor. Well, it seems irrelevant now. I wanted to talk about Ijok but fuck that, stewardesses are much more interesting. But enough about that. Some other time, perhaps.
Change of scenery: last night.
For the first time in 2007, Aritha called me up out of the blue yesterday evening asking me to join her and Sasa for dinner somewhere decent in a ,as she put it, ‘a Sex and the City like outing’. Except that it’ll involve me and I’m no Chris Noth. We went to Chef & Brew at Bukit Damansara which I must say the ambience is quite nice. And best of all, less crowd. But in hindsight less chikas to look at. Yes, yes, I know. Two ladies and a bloke at a nice restaurant, I was lucky as it was but looks can be so deceiving. Especially in my case. But it is not my place or right to discuss those matters. Maybe some other time. Maybe never. Most probably never. Anyway, Chef & Brew, you couldn’t miss it if you want to try and find it. The neon signage is so huge it would put strip clubs to shame. The food was not bad but the service could be better. One of the waiters actually forgot that I asked him for the bill. I had to do that air signature gesture twice. Like, hello, the place wasn’t even half-full. More like running at 12% occupancy. And get some fuckin’ deodorant. But overall it was okay. Maybe worth a second visit. But then the thousand dollar question looms – with whom the second visit shall be with? Sasa even mentioned another lovely Italian restaurant at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng and sure, I’d love to try it sometime but again, with whom? On top of my head I can think only a list of friends and Jes only eats salads. I explored her fridge the other day and it was so bare even the ice cubes indicated a significant presence. With how things are going, it’s probably only a matter of time before I start borrowing my friends’ girlfriends for decent night out with the opposite sex. And I know I wouldn’t have to deal with all that boyfriend paranoia hullabaloo. If only I can get myself over how stupid the idea actually sounds.
Anyway, back to Bukit Damansara. Everything was cordial and laid back when right after the main course Aritha had this sudden urge to play her version of ‘what if’ and began hounding me with me with these speculative questions about my possible initial attraction to the other females in our circle of friends (and slightly beyond who just happen to fall into the picture). Now, from what I know, there two different types of nightmares. One is the one you get when you are asleep and get chased by monsters or you discover you have a third nipple. The other is a real life situation in which you feverishly hope that you’d never find yourself in that would cause you much shame and anguish and with no direct route of escape. This is the latter. I don’t know if the situation came about because I am about the only straight guy that she could afford to forward these questions to or I just happen to stand too close to the spotlight. Either way, too late to ponder that by now. She mentioned every possible name, one by one, that she know that I’d be familiar of and for each one she asked the question, ‘Let’s say you are strangers and you saw (name) sitting at a table in a nice restaurant not far from you (and not in the middle of a date), as far as attraction goes, would I take the trouble to go and talk to her? If so, why and why not?’ Seriously, I’d rather have another go on the Solero Shot than to endure this at that time. You don’t ask these things to a guy in my position. Why do women need to know about all these? It’s a can of worms. But at the same time it’s not like I wanted to be a spoilsport so reluctantly, I played along. But I knew I was venturing into dangerous territories by doing so because the brain mechanics of a woman differs with that of a man. They decipher things quicker and better with issues pertaining to emotions and feelings. We men don’t bother to decipher them at all. So for every answer I laid I tried to apply as much damage control as I possibly can. But even so, I didn’t think I did pretty well in the end. I did manage to dodge, however, about…. y’know…. Zabrina. Yes, tiny accomplishment for me. But suffice to say, even though Aritha has found my closet of skeletons, I’m relieved she didn’t probe any deeper because there’s plenty more where that came from. That is, until she reads this. You know how women would tell you that they know something new and juicy about someone but they wouldn’t tell you the whole story? Or can’t or whatever bullshit. Well, she did the exact same thing to me last night, repeatedly. And guess whose turn is it, now? Hahah! The tables have turned. How you like me, now, baby? (who am I kidding? I’m so fucked).
Anyway, we left the place about 10.30pm and personally I was just glad that the interrogation has ended. Even though Sasa did manage to swing one at me towards the end on how does a person know if the man/woman he/she is with, is the right person to get married to. I say, Sasa, I don’t watch Oprah nor do I subscribe to Cosmo, so the answer is ‘I wouldn’t know’. Or quite simply, you’re asking the wrong person. For this I know I just happen to stand too close to the spotlight.
So, the ‘berpeleseran’ with the ladies has ended because Aritha has to go to work today. But the night was still young and luckily for me, the con of man, Watai, rang me because if he hadn’t, I would have. It was time to chill with the boys and I headed to Nasi Lemak Ampang. A name we coined for this nasi lemak spot between Ampang Point and the building that houses the CIMB Bank where every night a nasi lemak truck would park there and roll out the tables and plastic stools. It’s not the most flamboyant of places but we have grown to love it ever since the early years of our university days when we would get together during our semester breaks. So, the boys and I were chillin; and I considered it like a cooling down session. From a glass of orange juice which cost RM7 to a RM1 the o ais. We talked about work (or the lack of it), Bulu’s proposed birthday bash and a disgusting but nevertheless funny account that involved a shower head, among other things. We stayed until about 12 when our butts started to get cramps. I was ready to head home thinking there was nothing else to do when Watai invited me to the studio for a little closure.
The studio is the 1st floor of a shop house at Taman Pinggiran Ukay which came with atrocious and filthy ground floor neighbours (it’s a motorcycle workshop, go figure). It’s a project between Cipoi, Watai, Pidot, Kalut and Manjit, to turn this non-chalant place into a photography studio cum bachelor pad. It’s an enticing idea but it’s still in the early process of development. Thankfully though, the inside is quite nice. Lots of empty spaces still but initial cleaning had been done. And the stairway has been carpeted and so is the living room. So, lots of places for lying around and occasional sleepovers. Then there’s this room which I personally call the Kinky Room because of its all black painted wall. All that’s missing is red carpet covering the floor. Put some neon lights and you’re good to go. But the best part was that Manjit was already there with his girlfriend, Shaz, when Watai, Kalut, Pidot and me arrived. And Shaz was has some really nice legs. She has such f
air skin and she was wearing a very short skirt. Manjit’s friends were so happy. That is until Manjit unsportingly began making noises about wanting to leave barely half an hour after our arrival. Based on our experience, it is usually the girlfriend who would initiate the long face and the desire to leave when her boyfriend was hanging at his friends’ place for far too long for her liking. It was the other way around this time. Anyway, we were left downbeated because a woman’s presence is always welcome at a (yet-to-be) bachelor pad and to see one leave just hurts. But they left anyway and the four of us were void of any entertainment. Thankfully there’s an FHM mag lying on the floor and it’s the US version albeit from 2003 and it has a centre spread of Carmen Electra wearing a bikini frolicking on a beach so, yeah, I was happy again. I wonder why Malaysian mags couldn’t be more like this. It’s so refreshing. And then Watai asked me to come along with him to his office at Jalan Pekeliling to return the company van that he borrowed to bring Pidot’s stuff from South City to the studio. He needed some company as the place gets very dark at night and so deserted it’s creepy. Okay, okay, whatever. I’ll go.
One thing for sure, traveling around KL in a van is so uncool. We had zero chance of anyone checking us out even though Watai did pretend as if he was driving the BangBus van.
When we arrived at the office it was indeed creepy. I went up with Watai for him to return the keys of the van while I took a leak and later explored the office’s fridge. Why do people always keep the extra chili sauce packets they get from McDonald’s? Classic waste not, want not case. We left the building and took off in Watai’s blue Satria which he had left there earlier when exchanging for the van. And Watai being Watai, we just had to do something before we head back to the studio. It was about 1.30am so we decided to check out Heritage Row hoping for some niceties along the sidewalk. Unfortunately though, all of them were inside. Not surprising since it was about peak time around that hour. So we headed back to the studio.
Back at the studio we talked more about Shaz’s legs, female officemates’ butts, the role of thongs to the ogling eyes of men and Jessica Alba. I was close to dozing off on the oversized pillow when Watai decided to head home and call it a night. Besides, Liverpool vs Chelsea was already starting and the studio lacks a TV set let alone an Astro decoder.
I stopped by at McDonald’s Taman Melati for a take away snack for the football game and I drove like mad to get home as soon as possible, not wanting to miss any more precious minutes.
Needless to say, I was very sleepy the moment I got home but nothing will stop me from watching the game. I went into lapses of sleep countless of time but I managed to held on up to nearly 5 am for the decisive penalty shoot-out. And you know what? Chelsea lost.
Chelsea lost.
Chelsea……lost……
I had a great dinner, I had a good laugh with the boys, I saw Carmen Electra half-naked and to end it all, Chelsea lost. Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????
I woke up today feeling extremely unhappy. For the moment I have lost my appetite for football. I wonder if Spider-man 3 would cure this. I know a trip to Geylang would but Singapore is just too far.
Lydia? Laila? Layla? Oh God, it has to be one of those. The blonde hair, blue eyes, braided pony tail girl from primary school. Okay, I didn’t mention the braided pony tail because I realized I forgot to mention it earlier. Or was it Nadia? You know what? I think I’ll try to look it up on Friendster. With that bombshell, I’ll see you again next time. Good night.
*picture of me at the studio with an FHM US mag, courtesy of Watai (yes, he has a thing for photography)
I had relatives coming in droves yesterday and since someone had to send my youngest brother back to school (which was conveniently located at Kuala Selangor) it was left to me to do it because my mother who initially planned to undertake the task had to stay and play host to the unexpected gush of guests, while my elder brother, well, he’s busy preparing for his wedding this coming July. Oh didn’t I tell you? Yes, he is getting married. I mean, good for him, but not so for me. Y’see, being the second child, I’m next in line and situations aren’t ideal for a guy, who just received the most devastating news in his not-the-least love-aspiring life, to be in. as much as I’d like to share this life-changing piece if revelation but sorry, mates, we will not discuss moopy issues here. It’s a guy thing. Plus, it’ll get me into a whole set of new problems. And (back to my brother’s wedding discussion) to top it all off, he’s marrying to a MAS stewardess. Let me emphasize the word ‘MAS’ here. Not AirAsia, not FireFlyz, but MAS. Wet dreams, hello! I mean, talk about pressure for the second son. A stewardess! Now, how the fuck am I suppose to top that? Hitchin’ a stewardess could only be bettered if I were dating a model or a celebrity. Someone the likes of Natasha Hudson. But I couldn’t even make a move for a girl at a video store! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! A stewardess? You fuckin’ me? Seriously? Fuck, man! Huh, could I just say ‘fuck’, one more time, please? (Robert Downey Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).
So there, my brother’s getting married to a stewardess and I know, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself to live up to that standard, I mean, it’s all about love, right? It’s all that matters in the end. At least, that’s what people have been saying to me. Couldn’t say I totally believe in that concept. Besides, my brother’s been a ladies’ man since he was 12. I know it since we went to school together. I was 9 then and at that age I have yet to view girls as objects of affection. They were simply the opposite of boys. And boys were cool so go figure my mindset. And now, years later, occasionally I’d look back and made wishful thinking if only I had had that girl’s phone number. You probably remember I wrote something about her for a Valentine’s Day post. 2006, I think. She has blonde hair, blue eyes but she has a Malay persona. I didn’t give much thought about that back then but now, I’m guessin’ mixed parents. At 25, she would most definitely turn out to be one hell of a babe. And we had it good. We were both prefects in those days and on occasions during recess we would get assigned to hold watch in certain parts of the school and we would talk while I sat on the stairs and she played her imaginary hopscotch. It was like a scene direct out of Mukhsin. I’m just saying that even though I have yet to see the movie. I’ve managed to catch Gubra only just recently. But seriously, after 2 movies, I’m beginning to grow tired of Orked. Please, Ms Yasmin, give us something new. Anyway, that’s all I have left. A piece of memory, etched in time. Just me and… oh for fuck’s sake, I couldn’t even remember her name! What a darth prick (Rhys Ifans, Notting Hill). So much for that memory bullshit and I can’t even remember her name.
Wait, how the fuck did we get here? I wanted to talk about the studio and Carmen Electra in a bikini, and somehow I ended going down memory lane. Oh yes, that’s right, my future sister-in-law. Good luck topping that, mate. And if I should consider my ‘brilliant’ cohort’s advice (aka Watai), I should use her as a bridge to her other stewardesses friends. It’s certainly is a bright proposition but I think it’s still too early for that move just yet. I need to bond with her first before I can go say, ‘Oh since my brother has netted you, how about giving the younger brother exclusive access to your other lonely, perfectly shaped, fine-looking, high-flying stewardesses friends?’. Watch this space, people.
Fuck, I did it again. Wait, let me read what I’ve written. Oh yes, Kuala Selangor. Well, it seems irrelevant now. I wanted to talk about Ijok but fuck that, stewardesses are much more interesting. But enough about that. Some other time, perhaps.
Change of scenery: last night.
For the first time in 2007, Aritha called me up out of the blue yesterday evening asking me to join her and Sasa for dinner somewhere decent in a ,as she put it, ‘a Sex and the City like outing’. Except that it’ll involve me and I’m no Chris Noth. We went to Chef & Brew at Bukit Damansara which I must say the ambience is quite nice. And best of all, less crowd. But in hindsight less chikas to look at. Yes, yes, I know. Two ladies and a bloke at a nice restaurant, I was lucky as it was but looks can be so deceiving. Especially in my case. But it is not my place or right to discuss those matters. Maybe some other time. Maybe never. Most probably never. Anyway, Chef & Brew, you couldn’t miss it if you want to try and find it. The neon signage is so huge it would put strip clubs to shame. The food was not bad but the service could be better. One of the waiters actually forgot that I asked him for the bill. I had to do that air signature gesture twice. Like, hello, the place wasn’t even half-full. More like running at 12% occupancy. And get some fuckin’ deodorant. But overall it was okay. Maybe worth a second visit. But then the thousand dollar question looms – with whom the second visit shall be with? Sasa even mentioned another lovely Italian restaurant at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng and sure, I’d love to try it sometime but again, with whom? On top of my head I can think only a list of friends and Jes only eats salads. I explored her fridge the other day and it was so bare even the ice cubes indicated a significant presence. With how things are going, it’s probably only a matter of time before I start borrowing my friends’ girlfriends for decent night out with the opposite sex. And I know I wouldn’t have to deal with all that boyfriend paranoia hullabaloo. If only I can get myself over how stupid the idea actually sounds.
Anyway, back to Bukit Damansara. Everything was cordial and laid back when right after the main course Aritha had this sudden urge to play her version of ‘what if’ and began hounding me with me with these speculative questions about my possible initial attraction to the other females in our circle of friends (and slightly beyond who just happen to fall into the picture). Now, from what I know, there two different types of nightmares. One is the one you get when you are asleep and get chased by monsters or you discover you have a third nipple. The other is a real life situation in which you feverishly hope that you’d never find yourself in that would cause you much shame and anguish and with no direct route of escape. This is the latter. I don’t know if the situation came about because I am about the only straight guy that she could afford to forward these questions to or I just happen to stand too close to the spotlight. Either way, too late to ponder that by now. She mentioned every possible name, one by one, that she know that I’d be familiar of and for each one she asked the question, ‘Let’s say you are strangers and you saw (name) sitting at a table in a nice restaurant not far from you (and not in the middle of a date), as far as attraction goes, would I take the trouble to go and talk to her? If so, why and why not?’ Seriously, I’d rather have another go on the Solero Shot than to endure this at that time. You don’t ask these things to a guy in my position. Why do women need to know about all these? It’s a can of worms. But at the same time it’s not like I wanted to be a spoilsport so reluctantly, I played along. But I knew I was venturing into dangerous territories by doing so because the brain mechanics of a woman differs with that of a man. They decipher things quicker and better with issues pertaining to emotions and feelings. We men don’t bother to decipher them at all. So for every answer I laid I tried to apply as much damage control as I possibly can. But even so, I didn’t think I did pretty well in the end. I did manage to dodge, however, about…. y’know…. Zabrina. Yes, tiny accomplishment for me. But suffice to say, even though Aritha has found my closet of skeletons, I’m relieved she didn’t probe any deeper because there’s plenty more where that came from. That is, until she reads this. You know how women would tell you that they know something new and juicy about someone but they wouldn’t tell you the whole story? Or can’t or whatever bullshit. Well, she did the exact same thing to me last night, repeatedly. And guess whose turn is it, now? Hahah! The tables have turned. How you like me, now, baby? (who am I kidding? I’m so fucked).
Anyway, we left the place about 10.30pm and personally I was just glad that the interrogation has ended. Even though Sasa did manage to swing one at me towards the end on how does a person know if the man/woman he/she is with, is the right person to get married to. I say, Sasa, I don’t watch Oprah nor do I subscribe to Cosmo, so the answer is ‘I wouldn’t know’. Or quite simply, you’re asking the wrong person. For this I know I just happen to stand too close to the spotlight.
So, the ‘berpeleseran’ with the ladies has ended because Aritha has to go to work today. But the night was still young and luckily for me, the con of man, Watai, rang me because if he hadn’t, I would have. It was time to chill with the boys and I headed to Nasi Lemak Ampang. A name we coined for this nasi lemak spot between Ampang Point and the building that houses the CIMB Bank where every night a nasi lemak truck would park there and roll out the tables and plastic stools. It’s not the most flamboyant of places but we have grown to love it ever since the early years of our university days when we would get together during our semester breaks. So, the boys and I were chillin; and I considered it like a cooling down session. From a glass of orange juice which cost RM7 to a RM1 the o ais. We talked about work (or the lack of it), Bulu’s proposed birthday bash and a disgusting but nevertheless funny account that involved a shower head, among other things. We stayed until about 12 when our butts started to get cramps. I was ready to head home thinking there was nothing else to do when Watai invited me to the studio for a little closure.
The studio is the 1st floor of a shop house at Taman Pinggiran Ukay which came with atrocious and filthy ground floor neighbours (it’s a motorcycle workshop, go figure). It’s a project between Cipoi, Watai, Pidot, Kalut and Manjit, to turn this non-chalant place into a photography studio cum bachelor pad. It’s an enticing idea but it’s still in the early process of development. Thankfully though, the inside is quite nice. Lots of empty spaces still but initial cleaning had been done. And the stairway has been carpeted and so is the living room. So, lots of places for lying around and occasional sleepovers. Then there’s this room which I personally call the Kinky Room because of its all black painted wall. All that’s missing is red carpet covering the floor. Put some neon lights and you’re good to go. But the best part was that Manjit was already there with his girlfriend, Shaz, when Watai, Kalut, Pidot and me arrived. And Shaz was has some really nice legs. She has such f
air skin and she was wearing a very short skirt. Manjit’s friends were so happy. That is until Manjit unsportingly began making noises about wanting to leave barely half an hour after our arrival. Based on our experience, it is usually the girlfriend who would initiate the long face and the desire to leave when her boyfriend was hanging at his friends’ place for far too long for her liking. It was the other way around this time. Anyway, we were left downbeated because a woman’s presence is always welcome at a (yet-to-be) bachelor pad and to see one leave just hurts. But they left anyway and the four of us were void of any entertainment. Thankfully there’s an FHM mag lying on the floor and it’s the US version albeit from 2003 and it has a centre spread of Carmen Electra wearing a bikini frolicking on a beach so, yeah, I was happy again. I wonder why Malaysian mags couldn’t be more like this. It’s so refreshing. And then Watai asked me to come along with him to his office at Jalan Pekeliling to return the company van that he borrowed to bring Pidot’s stuff from South City to the studio. He needed some company as the place gets very dark at night and so deserted it’s creepy. Okay, okay, whatever. I’ll go.One thing for sure, traveling around KL in a van is so uncool. We had zero chance of anyone checking us out even though Watai did pretend as if he was driving the BangBus van.
When we arrived at the office it was indeed creepy. I went up with Watai for him to return the keys of the van while I took a leak and later explored the office’s fridge. Why do people always keep the extra chili sauce packets they get from McDonald’s? Classic waste not, want not case. We left the building and took off in Watai’s blue Satria which he had left there earlier when exchanging for the van. And Watai being Watai, we just had to do something before we head back to the studio. It was about 1.30am so we decided to check out Heritage Row hoping for some niceties along the sidewalk. Unfortunately though, all of them were inside. Not surprising since it was about peak time around that hour. So we headed back to the studio.
Back at the studio we talked more about Shaz’s legs, female officemates’ butts, the role of thongs to the ogling eyes of men and Jessica Alba. I was close to dozing off on the oversized pillow when Watai decided to head home and call it a night. Besides, Liverpool vs Chelsea was already starting and the studio lacks a TV set let alone an Astro decoder.
I stopped by at McDonald’s Taman Melati for a take away snack for the football game and I drove like mad to get home as soon as possible, not wanting to miss any more precious minutes.
Needless to say, I was very sleepy the moment I got home but nothing will stop me from watching the game. I went into lapses of sleep countless of time but I managed to held on up to nearly 5 am for the decisive penalty shoot-out. And you know what? Chelsea lost.
Chelsea lost.
Chelsea……lost……
I had a great dinner, I had a good laugh with the boys, I saw Carmen Electra half-naked and to end it all, Chelsea lost. Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????
I woke up today feeling extremely unhappy. For the moment I have lost my appetite for football. I wonder if Spider-man 3 would cure this. I know a trip to Geylang would but Singapore is just too far.
Lydia? Laila? Layla? Oh God, it has to be one of those. The blonde hair, blue eyes, braided pony tail girl from primary school. Okay, I didn’t mention the braided pony tail because I realized I forgot to mention it earlier. Or was it Nadia? You know what? I think I’ll try to look it up on Friendster. With that bombshell, I’ll see you again next time. Good night.
*picture of me at the studio with an FHM US mag, courtesy of Watai (yes, he has a thing for photography)
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Inferno!!
All hail citizen journalism!!
Last Friday, y’see, I was on my way to Putrajaya and there was this potentially massive traffic jam building up which surprised me because I thought it was still quite early for it to be this bad, even for the KL-Seremban Highway. Then again, I wouldn’t know. Anyway, I was crawling along for a full 20 minutes before I knew what really caused the traffic, as you can clearly see by the picture below.
Yes, that’s right. Fireball of death! Inferno from Hell! I know, I’m exaggerating but how often do you get to see a van engulfed in flames on a public highway? Live right before your eyes? I’m pretty sure this was my first time. And this is when a camera phone becomes very handy. And as you can see, I was clearly seated at the passenger’s side of the car. Not breaking any traffic rules there.
Y’know what? I should utilize this camera phone thing more often. Well, excuse me for upgrading too late to realize the joys and convenience of it while people like Gary Oldman are already persuading the public to become amateur film makers with the N Series. Which, if I may point out, is rather cool. If you’re that self-absorbed, that is.
But you know the best part of having a camera phone? You can finally take a permanent memory of that beautiful woman who just walked by. And I almost did that. Almost. She was sitting right across me at the café and she already realized I was sneaking glances at her. Somehow the idea of taking out my shiny blue handphone and held it in a position much too obvious to suggest that I was clearly aiming my lens towards her, would seem incredibly perversive. And yet, I still regretted my decision not to do just that. If I did, man, she would be definitely worth it. But the moment has passed and I have nothing of proof except for my words. Cherish, people, of all things beautiful. ‘Cause you’ll never know when the next one’s coming. And suddenly I become all philosophical.
Well, cheers and later.
Last Friday, y’see, I was on my way to Putrajaya and there was this potentially massive traffic jam building up which surprised me because I thought it was still quite early for it to be this bad, even for the KL-Seremban Highway. Then again, I wouldn’t know. Anyway, I was crawling along for a full 20 minutes before I knew what really caused the traffic, as you can clearly see by the picture below.
Yes, that’s right. Fireball of death! Inferno from Hell! I know, I’m exaggerating but how often do you get to see a van engulfed in flames on a public highway? Live right before your eyes? I’m pretty sure this was my first time. And this is when a camera phone becomes very handy. And as you can see, I was clearly seated at the passenger’s side of the car. Not breaking any traffic rules there.
Y’know what? I should utilize this camera phone thing more often. Well, excuse me for upgrading too late to realize the joys and convenience of it while people like Gary Oldman are already persuading the public to become amateur film makers with the N Series. Which, if I may point out, is rather cool. If you’re that self-absorbed, that is.
But you know the best part of having a camera phone? You can finally take a permanent memory of that beautiful woman who just walked by. And I almost did that. Almost. She was sitting right across me at the café and she already realized I was sneaking glances at her. Somehow the idea of taking out my shiny blue handphone and held it in a position much too obvious to suggest that I was clearly aiming my lens towards her, would seem incredibly perversive. And yet, I still regretted my decision not to do just that. If I did, man, she would be definitely worth it. But the moment has passed and I have nothing of proof except for my words. Cherish, people, of all things beautiful. ‘Cause you’ll never know when the next one’s coming. And suddenly I become all philosophical.
Well, cheers and later.
Monday, March 05, 2007
This Thing Called YouTube
There’s this brilliant new thing on the Net called YouTube. Okay, it’s not new. It’s been there for ages, technologically speaking. And although I do realize its existence all this while, I never got around to appreciate its true depth in video sharing that it provides to Net users all over the globe. That is, until one hot and dull Saturday afternoon.
Still frustrated at my lack of success of finding a DVD copy of Clerks, an idea pops into my head one day and it said ‘why don’t I just search it on YouTube?’. I mean, people have been saying you can get a whole load of shit there, I guessed, why not give it a try? So I entered a query, ‘Clerks’, and what do you know? It actually produced results. And the right ones too. Now, I got a clip showing a collection of funny scenes from the movie on my Friendster profile under Favorite Movies. You can check it out and see why I am so obsessed about getting a copy of the movie for myself. And Chasing Amy? The movie title that I tried with that girl from the Ezy video store? That too is on YouTube. And better still, there’s a full movie on it. Just not in its entirety, so to speak. Some guy or girl chopped the movie into 13 parts of 10 minute scenes and put in online. Although I’ll admit that it is kind of a dodgy way of watching a movie but being a Kevin Smith fan (the same dude who made Clerks) just to be able to watch is already a reward on its own and so it is definitely worth it. As an enticement, I’ll put a clip showing a scene from the first part of the movie down here. After watching that, you tell me that you aren’t the least curious about finding out what the rest of the movie is all about. As a matter of fact, I’ll just tell you. It’s about a straight guy (Ben Affleck) who falls for a lesbian. I bet you’ve never seen a love story like this before (or at least with a better dialogue and storyline). Click, click, anyone?
Still frustrated at my lack of success of finding a DVD copy of Clerks, an idea pops into my head one day and it said ‘why don’t I just search it on YouTube?’. I mean, people have been saying you can get a whole load of shit there, I guessed, why not give it a try? So I entered a query, ‘Clerks’, and what do you know? It actually produced results. And the right ones too. Now, I got a clip showing a collection of funny scenes from the movie on my Friendster profile under Favorite Movies. You can check it out and see why I am so obsessed about getting a copy of the movie for myself. And Chasing Amy? The movie title that I tried with that girl from the Ezy video store? That too is on YouTube. And better still, there’s a full movie on it. Just not in its entirety, so to speak. Some guy or girl chopped the movie into 13 parts of 10 minute scenes and put in online. Although I’ll admit that it is kind of a dodgy way of watching a movie but being a Kevin Smith fan (the same dude who made Clerks) just to be able to watch is already a reward on its own and so it is definitely worth it. As an enticement, I’ll put a clip showing a scene from the first part of the movie down here. After watching that, you tell me that you aren’t the least curious about finding out what the rest of the movie is all about. As a matter of fact, I’ll just tell you. It’s about a straight guy (Ben Affleck) who falls for a lesbian. I bet you’ve never seen a love story like this before (or at least with a better dialogue and storyline). Click, click, anyone?
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